Autochorystalize

Draw tag - AO3 Sometimes you gotta let your nasty lil weeb brain have its playground 18+ only. Any and all content is fictional and is expected to be treated as such.

[pikahlua]

So what direction do you think this togachako fight is going?

Ohhh I love where it seems to be going right now. This might be the most interested I've been in Toga's and Ochako's story ever.

First of all, we've finally got a clear picture of Toga as someone in need of saving. Her anxiety is so relatable it hurts. There are all sorts of things she could be thinking about, like how maybe she's not adequate to her friends because she can't be as helpful as Jin, or maybe her "love" isn't enough to save her friends, all that self-defeating jazz.

Which leads into what seems to be the crux of the matter: Toga's "love." I've noted in passing before that having her use the word "suki" to describe this love is very curious. It's just an adjective that means something is the object of your affection. It's not a specific word for love like the nouns "ai (love, but broadly)" or "koi (romantic love)" are. "Suki" is just as often translated as "like" as it is "love." So what does it mean that Toga can only use the quirks of those she feels "suki" for? Was it perhaps on purpose that Horikoshi used such a vague word for this feeling?

It seems like Toga has a problem identifying her feelings. By her own account, she "loves" Tomura and Dabi just as much, but she can't use their quirks for some reason. That means her "love" for them is different from her "love" for Ochako and Jin. And perhaps Ochako's character can provide the answer here.

Because Ochako has trouble putting words to her feelings for Izuku all the time. Other characters like Mina tell her it's love, but she doesn't seem comfortable accepting that. She also isn't comfortable with the feeling itself, so she pushes it out of the way when she doesn't want to deal with it.

As of now, I think the feeling--for both of them--is admiration.

For Ochako, it comes down to the events of the sports festival. She talks about how embarrassed she is for just following in Izuku's shadow and comments on how amazing Izuku is, how this tournament has really highlighted that for her. And she becomes inspired to grow on her own and meet him as a rival. In her match against Katsuki, her thoughts are focused on being like Izuku. "If Deku were here..." "Deku wouldn't give up..." "I'll win and be just like Deku!" Katsuki even mistook her battle strategy for one Izuku could have come up with. She wants to be like Izuku.

Sound familiar?

Toga wants to be like those she loves. Perhaps this isn't true with Tomura and Dabi. She doesn't want to destroy everything like Tomura; she wants to live with the ones she loves. She doesn't want to have vengeance against her family like Dabi; she wants the world to be easier for her to live in. She doesn't want what they have.

But she wants what Ochako and Izuku have: friends. She wants what Jin has: love. Jin loved his friends and devoted his life to helping them. She wants to be like that. We even see it with her first crush in middle school, a guy who looks like Izuku and is highlighted in her memory as fighting someone. Perhaps he was standing up for her, or standing up for anyone, and that's why she admired him. She wants to be a hero? She wants to be free to be herself...and maybe she wants that for the ones she loves too.

It's a sort of envy. Both of them have it. They want to be like the ones they admire. They're not comfortable with who they are. It's only when Ochako embraces the pieces of herself that she likes, the love of seeing others' happy faces, that she can push through her discomfort, cope with her jealousy, and accept herself for who she already is. Ochako learns more about Izuku than just the heroic image she starts out admiring; she professes atop the UA roof to everyone how Izuku isn't a special person, he was just given a special power. He's just like everyone else. He needs love and support as much as any other person. That's what prompts her to remember Toga's tears, and now we know that in that moment she wanted Toga to be smiling along with them too. It's when Ochako lets go of her envy and her idealized image of the heroic Izuku she blindly admired, when she accepts him as a person not above her but equal to her, that Ochako accepts herself and realizes she wants to save Toga. She's going to have to help Toga come to realize this about her own feelings--she has to help Toga learn to love herself for who she is.

And does any of that sound familiar? Blind admiration of a hero? Izuku's admiration of All Might perhaps? Izuku's blind admiration of Katsuki that contributed to the rift between them? How when Izuku accepted All Might and Katsuki for their flaws and saw them as people he managed to form better relationships with them? 👀

[autochorystalize]

just hopping over here to gush, because I discovered your fic Lock and Key a few days ago and have been absolutely hooked from start to finish. I'm a hurt/comfort fan, and L&K hits all of my buttons on that one. favorite fic in the fandom thus far, thank you so much for writing it ❤️ can't wait to see where it leads!

I did have a question, though - at one point you mentioned there being multiple arcs to the fic. how many were you thinking?

Aah thank you //// I'm really glad you've been enjoying! And forgive my slowness, it's been a bit of a wild few months lol but I really appreciate your message <3 L&K has been updating a lot slower than I would've liked but it makes me so so happy to hear that ppl still love it ;;

At the moment, there will only be two! I prob should've made the wording more clear haha but I considered just ending the fic after the first "arc" and then writing the second part as a sequel, but I decided to just keep it together instead...I had some spin offs in mind too but at this rate idk if I'll be able to write them :') But! I'm determined to finish it, even if it's slow going! So there'll be for sure two

[autochorystalize]

so i’m ngl i went ahead and reread the entirety of L&K for like the 10th time this weekend and i’m just so pumped to see the parallels in someone else finding out katsuki’s situation. bc when todo told uraraka he said smth like “he’s never had to tell anyone (who wasn’t a cop or his parents) what happened himself” and i’m just losing my shit bc it’s such a big moment for katsuki but also it’s only happening bc he’s pushing himself too hard and bc he’s basically using the reveal to get deku to agree to smth he wouldnt agree to if he had all the info. so complex! so ripe for angst! anyways thanks for writing L&K, it’s prolly one of my favorite fanfics ever.

Idk why tumblr doesn’t tell me I have messages sometimes, sorry for the delay orz

And thank you so much! I’m really glad you like the story, esp details like that--tbh one of the reasons this next chapter is taking so long (aside from the fact that rl is just a massive shitshow this past year) is bc there’s a sweet spot I wanna hit w the reveal for p much exactly the reasons you pointed out here! Getting the right amount of emotional constipation, denial, and deep-cutting suppressed trauma w all the already existing charged emotions between those two...I’m having trouble being satisfied ><

Thank you for the message, esp after such a long hiatus ;v; I’m so glad it’s still a fav of yours, and I promise it’s still churning in my mind

[autochorystalize]

Thank you for answering my earlier question! I hope you’re staying safe and healthy in these wild times! Besides the Watanabe question, I’ve been wondering a LOT about Mineta and Kaminari’s friendship in L&K. How was their relationship affected by Kaminari’s second gender? I can’t imagine Mineta not being creepy about it, but they’re still friends as of Scoreboard, so what’s the situation there?

Aw thank you, I hope the same to you! :)

I think they would still have a p good friendship, especially because they’re both a bit naive. I imagine Kaminari not really viewing himself as “An Omega” in such a way where he would take any sort of talk personally (which is to say, like in Scoreboard, he’s just a little clueless about it and normally surrounded by good people, and there’s a dissonance when he’s reminded that he’s an omega and can be stereotyped). I think Mineta too operates from a place of ignorance, and doesn’t really think of his talk/action as being something that has consequences. So I think a lot of their relationship just stays the same because to them, Kaminari is just Kaminari, just “one of the boys,” and like just because they’re joking around doesn’t mean anything, right?

That being said, I think there are definitely going to be times where, like in Scoreboard, Kaminari’s going to feel weird and uncomfortable and not really know why, and there’s def gonna be some awkward weak “I don’t really like that but I don’t really know why and I don’t wanna kill the mood” laughing along. I think as time passes and Kaminari gets more life experiences, there’ll be some strain at times. But then again, after what’s happened in L&K, Mineta’s going to be a little more aware as well, and he’s not going to be as dismissive as he would’ve been had he not found out what’s happened to Bakugou

[autochorystalize]

Hi! I discovered L&K recently and I have soooo many questions. This fic is so good and really gets me thinking! I know we’re probably not gonna see much of Watanabe in the future because he’s in jail, but I’m absolutely dying to know what he would think if he knew exactly how close Todoroki and Bakugo are, that a beta “stole” what he perceives as rightfully “his”. Like, he’s probably seething in his prison cell, lol.

I’m glad you like it!! I’m slow with replies, but feel free to ask whatever you might have here--I’d be glad to answer!

And oh he would be pissed haha he would be pretty dismissive about the pack bond (because he’s pretty dismissive about betas in general), but knowing that there was something encroaching on the more sexual turf, especially something that was protective against alphas, would definitely boil his blood

Tho honestly right now he’s probably pretty vindictive and would be pretty smug at the idea of ruining Bakugou’s life in any capacity, so there would probably be some vengeful glee at the idea that Bakugou got “stuck” with some beta bc he ruined other alphas for him. I imagine him vacillating between the extremes, one moment chill and I-got-the-last-laugh like “fuck that dumb omega bitch anyway” and the next seething and destructive. He’s not the most emotionally stable once anger gets thrown into the mix hahah

[autochorystalize]

hi! i don’t know if you still check this tumblr but if you do i was hoping to ask a question about L&K that’s been nagging at me for awhile now (i do love that fic and spend a lot of time thinking about it). so when aizawa talked to mineta about the bakugou video i know you said that he was warned not to talk about it and that it’s an ongoing investigation but i’ve been dying to know how much he actually knows and hopefully if this experience changed him for the better. (1/2)

haha sorry i’m invested bc this is the first time i’ve read fic where mineta is still his stupid self but it’s not malicious if that makes sense, or rather it’s made really clear that he’s coming from a place of ignorance. mineta in L&K  just ended up more rounded than i was expecting and next thing i know i was invested in him and how he’ll play out in your fantastic world building.(2/2)

So! (Sorry to take so long to respond, I didn’t see this til now) Mineta is one of those interesting cases because the fandom largely demonizes him as a rampant sexual predator, and not without reason, but he’s also a dumb horny teenager that takes notes from a long line of dumb horny characters. In L&K, he’s meant to portray the sort of “ignorant enabler” in that he just...doesn’t have the context to see how his behavior is possibly harmful? In some ways he’s a foil to Watanabe in that he doesn’t actually mean any intentional harm and is more just parroting, whereas Watanabe is being intentionally predatory without care if it causes actual damage. Like many people, Mineta is seeped in sexual fantasy that doesn’t have repercussions or actual-real-world-trauma attached. SO when all this goes down, he doesn’t end up actually knowing what happened--he doesn’t get any details or gets pulled into the loop. However, he definitely has enough context to realize that it’s Bad, and that it’s bad in a very real, very legal, very damaging way, to someone he actually knows and can now start to see in a different light. Like it’s clear from canon that Mineta isn’t dumb, so he probably has the capacity to see that the way Bakugou’s been acting and changing over the last few months are related to this, and that it’s almost entirely negative.

This is something I’ve kind of wanted to find ways to weave into the narrative more, but am not yet sure how (or if I’ll be able to). Either way, Mineta doesn’t know how to handle the situation, doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, is still woefully ignorant in youth, experience, and social experience, but he definitely knows enough to be more careful and rethink some of the toxic ideologies he was parroting earlier in the fic, as well as be much, much more careful in how he talks about things around people who could actually be affected by them

[autochorystalize]

First off— I love L&K. You do such an amazing job of capturing the experience of trauma and retraumaitzation, and the laws are WAY too real. Something I keep thinking about is the role of activism and the docuseries and the (unfortunate, because he should just be allowed to heal and not politicize his trauma) power of the case. What’s going to happen if the case blows up in the media? What is omega rights activism like in L&K verse?

Aah thank you! That’s def an area I find interesting to explore, esp w various aspects that might be often poorly handled or controversial. I think going forward some of these questions might be answered, although there is a lot of different ways things could play out...it’s a tough topic, and I want to kind of end it on a positive (or at least somewhat hopeful) note, but unfortunately these types of things do not always play out positively irl. I try not to bog down social media w too much depressive stuff, but this fic is v much a place to both explore and vent about irl issues--I’d like to talk about the good and the bad when I can! I just wish there was less inspo for the “bad” category haha.. 

[autochorystalize]

You know, I really really like Touma in L&K. He is SUCH a great character (and i might do him for a one night stand i dunno) but if I see him irl, I'd grate him like cheese and scatter his trashy remains all over a lake of lava in Krakatoa. In L&K, I'd prefer Katsuki to be the one doing it. You made SUCH good OCs. A lot of times, they're terrible, but the complexity of Touma and Specks are *chef's kiss* And I maybe kinda ship the two of them?

Aah thank you!! I’m so glad people still want to beat the crap out of him even when they love him haha that’s the biggest compliment for a villain oc I think! I really appreciate it <3 they’ve really grown on me too, and I’ve had an idea in the back of my head for an origin story fic which I might never get around to writing, but it makes me so happy that you and so many others like them so much! And they are def shippable haha tho idk if that’s a good thing for poor Specs lmao 

[kvtsuki]

i find it SO funny when ppl act like deku is one of those uwu pacifist protags like steven universe or aang cause like. listen. there is not a single problem deku hasn't solved by hitting it really hard. He got his quirk from all might by throwing his book bag into a villain's eye. he got tdrk to overcome his mental blocks & to like him by punching himself into unconsciousness. he got kouta to like him by punching muscular into unconsciousness. he got both eri AND sir nighteye to like him by punching overhaul into unconsciousness. he got hero killer stain to like him by punching stain into unconsciousness. he got shinsou to tolerate him by punching shinsou into needing medical attention. he got bkg to begrudingly respect him by punching bkg very hard. deku is very kind and compassionate and his main motivation in any given situation is his inherent need to help someone in need but that doesn't cahnge the fact that hes absolutely feral and down to fight at any given moment.

[imhereformysciencefriends]

He got Uraraka to stick her neck out for him and Iida to respect him by punching the 0 pointer very hard. He got Aizawa to respect him by punching more carefully. Tsu is the only one who likes him without any punching required

[huazzers]

tdrk

[autochorystalize]

i’m so interested in the failed rescue au for Lock and Key. dark au for an already p dark au, i’m guessing this one wouldn’t have such a happy ending (assuming of course that Lock and Key has a happy ending). do you have anything from that you’re willing to talk about?

It’s not really a “happy ending,” no, but I also don’t really envision that one being like...completely hopeless either, if that makes sense? 

The only thing that makes me pause about talking about it is the notion that I might someday write it and I wouldn’t want to spoil, but then again, at the rate we’re going, I have a feeling I’d be either going very slow or just summarizing it anyway. But the basic gist is that Bakugou doesn’t get rescued, the League (and particularly Dabi) gets much more involved, there’s some kids, and after a few years Specs and Bakugou escape and basically hole up at Endeavor’s agency to avoid detection and help against the villains. Although now that I list all that, it’s not v spoilery because I kind of envision it being written with a lot of time jumps, with the fic basically starting with Specs/Bakugou having escaped and skipping back and forth between their current situation and experiences in the past...which is another reason why I’m hesitating to write it, because L&K at least had/has a fairly cohesive plot, and this other spin-off feels like it would be a lot more a series of scenes with a plot that I don’t really have an ending for yet hahah 

But admittedly, I do spend a lot of time thinking about it...I wish I had more time and my mental situation was more reliable because I really would like to write at least some of it someday

[autochorystalize]

what do you think would’ve happened in L&K verse is bakugou had presented during the kamino arc instead of after? I know that you touched on toga not being morally scrupulous but from what i remember the league was still kinda split on how they handled harming (or at least killing) children back then. i’d also be interested to know the role you might think media would play, especially since it’s such a large theme in L&K.

Hmm...I have an idea of how the League would react (actually kind of a full AU of what would happen if Bakugou wasn’t rescued), though what would happen during Kamino is an interesting question...personally, I don’t think the league would be inclined towards taking advantage/second-sexism by itself, but I do think certain members would be prone to partaking under certain circumstances, if that makes sense? Like I think Toga would be enamored, and I think Dabi and Shigaraki would be morally gray about it. I imagine Twice would be conflicted, Spinner and Kurogiri would be uncomfortable with anything shady, and Compress and Magne would keep to themselves. Tbh I don’t actually see them doing anything to him if he presented during Kamino, aside from trying to use that to sway him into joining them by pointing out the second-sexism he might face...tho other times/circumstances might not play out the same

Idk how the media would play out tbh--I think they actually might be more sympathetic towards Bakugou if it came out that he was an omega? Like public opinion would be more swayed towards a damsel in distress angle, which Bakugou would probably hate haha idk overall it’s an interesting question and there’s a lot of ways it could go! 

[autochorystalize]

you mentioned possibly writing a bkdk fic (ummm, yes pls!), what’re your other favorite ships for bakugou?

Tbh I’m down with just about any ships, as long as they’re well-written! I’d rather have an obscure rarepair that’s compelling than a poorly characterized, tropey version of my top ships any day

That being said, I think bkdk is my top just because of the background with them and how many different ways you could spin the dynamic, and I like all the other top bakugou ships (todobaku, kiribaku, kacchako, etc). Ships are a world of potential rather than a camp I set up in haha 

[autochorystalize]

same anon as before. i was deff thinking the omegas find out about bakugou’s situation first. i love the todobaku content in L&K and the way you’re navigating what it’s like to try and have a relationship after trauma but so much of their interaction came from a beta/omega place and i was wondering what that would look like if it was an omega/omega/omega reaction. tho i do love that our boys bonded over their traumas, it’s nice to speak to someone who has similar emotional hurts.

That would be super interesting! I have a lot of ideas for omega/omega dynamics (I have another story that I want to write...someday...featuring o/o bkdk in a different AU, but that might be a while out). I don’t imagine they’d be very discreet about things though haha but it would definitely have about 40% more neutral physical contact and blankets

[autochorystalize]

idk if you’re still down to accept prompts for L&K spin offs, but i’ve been going crazy wondering what would happen if denki and ochako had been the 1st ones to find out about the heat hunt, and basically i love the omegas and the way you describe their interactions and i have a mighty need to know how they would’ve handled that. just thinking about them coming together in a ride or die formation brings me joy, and how fun that would be to see from 1a’s pov (baku/dekusquad would be so confused).

I’m down with prompt ideas, tho lately it’s been hard to keep up with writing ;o; so I can’t promise I’ll get to it BUT I really enjoy seeing ppls ideas

So w this, do you mean like, instead of Shouto finding out about Bakugou’s situation, Ochako and Denki do instead? Or that they discover that heat hunt is a thing separate from what Baku’s going through? :o Either way I’m always down for more ride or die omegas, like it’s been a lot of fun writing that and I’m way down for more of it

[autochorystalize]

(think the second half of my ask got eaten but it’s ok bc it got the message across) yes! yes! to all the resource seeking &victim blaming bs, bc there’s no such thing as a perfect victim but you make bkg damn sympathetic, &the patient and consistent way you keep pointing out him doing the “right” things, the things people promise get justice, &them not working says loud &clear that he’s not the problem, he never was & instead points a finger @ the abusers & a society that gives haven to them.

😭😭 Thank you, I’m really glad that came across because that was such a big thing for me when writing this story...it’s a little fucky here and there, and I’m def not opposed to that in fiction, but at the same time I really wanted to build that metaphor for all the bullshit in society...there’s still a lot more that I want to do with this fic (even though I’m moving so slow with it orz) but it’s always so motivating to hear that those themes really hit home, esp after so long. Thank you for the messages, anon <3 

[autochorystalize]

i was wondering if you were thinking of continuing the one shot spin offs? i really appreciated the outside pov denki gave us on the same society, and how he’s treated as an omega (also i’m kinda stupid invested in him figuring out his way around the world as an omega, bc i love our omega rights ochako but “what do you mean ppl are going to treat me differently after puberty, i’m still the same person” kami hits closer to home for me) (2/2)

I do have some one-shots that I would love to do someday--the biggest issue right now is just time >.< I have a couple of other stories I want to do as well not related to L&K as well, and I wish I had like 6 months to spend in a cabin somewhere in the woods to just write haha

So I have one I want to write about how Watanabe and Specs kind of got going as a villain duo, and there’s a much darker, longer “what if Bakugou didn’t get rescued” AU that I’m considering writing or summarizing or something...and there’s a ton of possibilities surrounding all the other kids and how they navigate the world. I’m always down with getting prompts or ideas for fics...I just can’t guarantee that I’d be able to write it 😩 But maybe ficlets could be a possibility? But it’s always fun to play with ideas!