𑣲⋆｡˚ FAVOURITE 𑣲⋆｡˚
Part One
I think I’ve read every Alex Turner fic out there, so what the hell, gonna start writing my own. this includes smut so minors DNI - 18+ only. bit of a slowish burn before that. gonna make this a series hopefully :)
(includes protected p in v, oral (f and m receiving), bit of dirty talk, drunk sex, 18 y/os).
let me know if you like it!
He’d always dreamed of starting a band. Growing up around music, it was a passion that had been nurtured and developed over the years. Himself and Matt would watch the clock in school, yearning for the clock to hit 3pm, so they could race home and learn songs by The Strokes. The band soon materialised as more than a dream, with Jamie and Nick, boys from another school who had answered Alex’s ad on Myspace, coming on board. They practiced for hours in the garage of Alex’s house, covers and a handful of originals. Alex’s dad would scold them for being too loud, but having a passion for music himself, could never quite convey enough anger in his voice, and would walk away from the garage with a smile on his face. He was proud of his son for having a passion.
There was to be no practice today, as they had secured fake IDs, and were going to attempt to get into a club in the town. This made a difference from their usual Friday nights, by stealing their parent’s alcohol, and getting drunk in either the local park or Alex’s garage. They were going along with Nathan, Sean and Stephen, Sean’s older brother in the year above, who was a handy contact to have in that he was 18 and could buy alcohol. Alex had been quite lonely in primary school and early secondary school, only really having Matt to call a friend, so he was glad to be part of a group at this stage in his life, at the grand age of 16. Despite that, he was wary of Stephen, who always seemed to be on the lookout for a way to take the piss out of someone. He liked Sean and Nathan well enough, but really, he would have preferred to sit in the garage and continue practice, and he preferred hanging out with Matt, Jamie and Nick, despite never really seeing Jamie and Nick that much outside of practice. They had nearly mastered the whole album of Is This It, by the Strokes and he was very proud of this.
“Come on mate, it’ll be fun,” Matt nudged him at lunchtime. “Don’t be a downer. Nights like these might end up giving us inspiration for songs, anyway.”
Alex perked up at this. He liked writing, but he had to admit to himself, maybe Matt was right. The best writing does come from one’s own experience. “So, will we have a few beers in the garage first? No music, I promise,” he added quickly, seeing Sean’s raised eyebrows.
“Your dad won’t mind?” Nathan questioned.
“Not so much him we need to worry about,” Alex shrugged. “More my mum. But she doesn’t finish work until 10pm, so we’ll likely be away by then.”
The boys agreed they would ask Stephen to grab them some cans from the local off-licence, before meeting Jamie and Nick. At that point, Stephen came into the canteen with a group of boys from his year, the leader of the pack, a role he seemed to take on in any group that he was a part of. He was tall, broad-shouldered and had a commanding presence that could make even the manliest people feel small. Upon spotting Alex and the rest, a grin spread over his face and he bounded over.
“You lads looking forward to tonight?” He clapped his hands together, before ruffling Sean, his little brother’s, hair. “Clubs are great fun. Lots of drunk girls with low self-esteem looking for a good time, if you know what I mean.”
It was this sort of talk that made Alex wary of Stephen. But he forced a laugh, so as to fit in.
“I think even a monkey would know what you mean,” Matt laughed.
“You would know Matt, the only girls you’ve ever been basically are monkeys,” Stephen boomed. “Let’s hope you have better luck tonight.”
“Can you get us some cans, Stephen?” Sean inquired. “Gonna have a few beers at Alex’s first.”
They exchanged money, Stephen agreeing to call later tonight. Stephen took a seat at the table beside Nathan, and the chat about the club continued. Alex was feeling both nervous and excited, wondering what to do in the event that his fake ID isn’t believed, and also wondering what a club would be like.
Alex could tell Stephen was in a taunting mood, as he glanced around the canteen. Many people were clearing out, getting ready to go to their next classes. Only a few tables remained.
You were sitting at a table by yourself, minding your own business and reading “The Catcher in The Rye.” You were really enjoying it, not minding so much that you were by yourself. You weren’t hated at school by any means, and were pretty friendly with everyone, but you didn’t have a solid group of friends. Sometimes this got you down, but you enjoyed your own company, so you could usually entertain yourself.
Alex watched Stephen’s eyes wander, before they landed on you at the table next to them, a smirk displayed on his face. “Oi!”
You looked up as the light was blocked by Stephen’s broad figure. He was smirking down at you, his expression making you uneasy.
“You know, it’s been said that I can make a girl wet really easily,” he taunted.
You were both confused and disgusted in equal measure, and all you could find yourself saying was, “What?”
“I can make a girl wet really easily. Look.”
And before you could say anything or do anything, water was being poured over your head, all over your book, leaving you completely soaked and your book ruined. It felt like laughter was the only sound that could be heard in the whole world, as you grabbed your stuff and raced from the canteen, tears burning at your eyes.
Alex watched you go, feeling terrible, wanting to run after you and make sure you were okay. But all the lads were laughing, even Matt was chuckling slightly, and he didn’t know what to do. So he laughed as well, not wanting to risk being criticised.
But you were all he could think about for the rest of the afternoon, wondering if you were okay. He didn’t know you that well, the extent of your relationship was that you sat a couple of desks away from him in English. You seemed sweet really, delicately pretty and never saying much, keeping yourself to yourself. Sometimes, when he was bored and his eyes wandered, he could see you underlining lines in your books during class.
You had a double period of English that afternoon. You tried to dry your uniform and hair under the hand dryer. You attempted to do the same with your book but soon gave up and accepted that it was ruined. Despite this, you shoved it in your bag and made your way to English.
Your eyes fell on one of the boys from earlier, Alex, when you entered the class. You could have sworn he was looking at you sympathetically for a split second, but when you looked again, his head was down and his eyes focused on his notes. You sat down, sighing, wishing for the day to be over.
You walked home alone that day, as you always did. On your way home, you spotted the boys from earlier all walking together and laughing. The one who threw the water over you had one of the others in a headlock. You didn’t understand boys, and the ways they acted towards each other with such violence that they claimed was fun. You put your head down anyway, and walked briskly, hoping to make yourself invisible.
***
Friday night at the club consisted of sticky floors, the smell of sweat, and more drinks than Alex could count. Due to this, Alex spent more or less the whole weekend recovering from a hangover. He hadn’t thought about you all weekend, until Sunday night when you popped into his head out of nowhere. He wondered how you felt after the incident, and hated himself for not saying anything. The book you were reading, The Catcher In The Rye, was one of his favourites. He pictured you, sitting in English class, underlining your favourite lines as you always seemed to be doing.
Over the next week, Alex found that you seemed to be occupying his thoughts more and more. Whether it was guilt or not, he didn’t know, but he found himself watching you every chance he got. The way your hair seemed to fall so delicately over your shoulder as you leaned over your book. The way your chin fit perfectly in your hand as you concentrated during class.
“Alex? Are you listening?”
He was struck out of his daze as his English teacher called on him. Embarrassed, with everyone’s eyes turned to him, he mumbled an apology before determining to put you out of his thoughts and concentrate. Exams were coming up, and between that and band practice, he had enough on his mind.
After English on Tuesdays, Alex had a free period, so he took a walk into the town to take a browse in the music shop. There was an absolutely beautiful Fender Jazzmaster that he loved to spend hours looking at, and tracing his fingers over the strings when none of the staff were looking.
His free period was nearly over, so he left the music shop and started the walk back to school, when the book shop caught his eye. He couldn’t help but wander in for a look, flashes of you passing in his mind. Images of you further cemented in his head when he came across a copy of The Catcher in The Rye, and before he knew it he was at the till, purchasing the copy.
He fished a pen out of his bag, and leaned on the windowsill outside the shop, scribbling a note in the front page. He wrote, “Make sure to underline your favourite lines.” He didn’t sign his name.
When he got back to school, he looked in to the English classroom, seeing that it was empty. It was nearing the end of the day, and as you and Alex both had English first thing tomorrow, he concurred that it would be safe to leave the copy on your desk.
The next day, Alex arrived early to class so that he could both watch for the safety of the book, and see your reaction. Seeing the pleasant surprise on your face made his stomach fill with butterflies.
He felt both afraid and desperate to talk to you, and enraged at the fact that in your mind, you probably lumped him in with the likes of Stephen. He watched you all day in English that day, you seemed to become more beautiful with every passing moment. At one point, you put the end of your pen in your mouth absentmindedly, and he thought he might pass out.
The thoughts were becoming more obsessive every day. Perhaps it was puberty talking, but he started to imagine kissing you, you running your hands through his hair, him grabbing you by the waist and pulling you closer to him. He needed to catch a grip on himself, really. He had barely spoken to you, maybe a few passing words, here and there.
It seemed that Stephen had set his sights on you as his new victim since the day in the canteen. From then on, he made efforts to trip you up, taunt you, shout after you in the halls and in the street. Still, Alex said nothing.
You just hoped that things would be better after school ended. You would go off to university, make new friends, and look back on these school memories and laugh. You comforted yourself with these thoughts. You couldn’t catch a break lately. The only good thing that had happened was the mystery copy of The Catcher in The Rye. You wondered who had gifted it to you. You thought maybe it had been your teacher, but you were too embarrassed to ask and you thought it might lead to questions about what had happened in the first place, which you really didn’t want to get into. You didn’t want to make things worse than they already were.
On a rainy Wednesday, you were walking home, when Stephen pushed past you, making you fall on your knees onto the wet ground. The horrible sound of laughter filled the air again, when it was suddenly broken by an angry voice.
“Hey! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
At first you thought it was directed at you. You turned around, seeing a short and stocky girl with flaming red hair storming towards where you were. Her eyes were furious, but they weren’t directed at you, but at Stephen.
“Where do you get off, Stephen, huh? Pushing a woman? Is there something wrong with you?”
She held out a hand to you to help you up, and you took it, brushing yourself off.
Stephen just smirked, and shrugged. “It was an accident.”
The redhead scoffed. “You were an accident, by the looks of things. Come on,” she turned to you. “Let’s get you cleaned up. My house isn’t far from here.”
It turned out her name was Katie, she was in your year, but you didn’t have any classes with her. She didn’t possess your shy disposition, which you admired. You walked with her back to her house, a small townhouse tucked at the end of the street.
“Make yourself at home,” Katie said, when you went inside. You sat down on the edge of the sofa in the sitting room, feeling incredibly shy.
Katie returned with some cotton pads. “I’ve stuck the kettle on,” she said, passing you the damp cotton pad to dab your knees with. “And I’m starving. Fancy a cheese toastie?”
You followed her into the kitchen after you cleaned up your knees. You didn’t really know what to say, apart from a mumbled thanks, to which she just shrugged and said “Anytime. Those guys are dicks.” You watched her as she assembled the toasties and tea, accidentally brushing the crumbs onto the floor and shrugging again when she noticed.
“So, what’s your name?” Katie asked when she sat down, putting the toasties and tea in front of you both.
You told her, munching on the toastie, not realising how hungry you were. “This is amazing. Thanks.”
“It’s my secret recipe. Cheese and bread,” she joked. “So, you okay?”
“Oh yeah, don’t worry. I’m fine. You know that guy?”
“Cunt from the year above. Picks on the vulnerable, you know the type.”
You just nodded, slurping your tea.
“So, you smoke?”
“Oh, no. I’m okay, thanks.”
“You mind if I do?”
You shook your head, and Katie leaned over the table to pull open a drawer in the sideboard. She pulled out a grinder and papers.
“Is that weed?” you chuckled, under the impression that she had meant cigarettes before.
“Yeah, you wanna try it?”
And from then on, you had a best friend, something you had never experienced. You and Katie walked to and from school together. You smoked weed together after school before her parents got home and listened to Steely Dan. You made more cheese toasties and cups of tea than you could count. You talked about the books the both of you were reading, and swapped them afterwards. You spent every moment not in class or sleeping with Katie. And your parents liked her, and were glad to see that you had a friend.
“If I’d known that him doing those things would have helped me make friends, I would have asked him to start doing it a long time ago,” you laughed one afternoon out Katie’s back garden, passing the joint between the two of you.
“Well, now you have one,” Katie smiled. “I’ve never had loads of friends myself. Though, there are some people I’d like to you meet, I met them down at the skate park. Sometimes I hang out with them and have a drink. One of them is the fella I get weed off.”
You had pictured this guy to be a really scary man, bald with face tattoos and generally unapproachable. His name was Jamie, and he was a year older than you like Katie. When you told Katie how you pictured him, she nearly spat out her tea in laughter. “He’s literally the opposite of that,” Katie laughed. “I think they’re hanging out there today, if you fancy calling?”
“I can’t skateboard.”
“Half of the people at the skate park can’t skateboard. It’s just a place to hang out. I can though,” she added cheekily, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
So you made your way to the skate park, full of graffitied half-pipes and kids with long hair, falling flat onto their knees and then getting back up, unfazed.
“There they are,” said Katie, pointing to a group of two boys and one girl, gathered on a staircase, passing a joint. You made your way over to them and Katie introduced you.
“Hey,” Jamie greeted you. “Nice sticker.”
He pointed to the Stone Roses sticker stuck to your bag. “Oh, thanks.”
“Controversial opinion. Stone Roses self-titled is better than Oasis’ entire discography,” said the girl. “I’m Holly.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jamie scoffed. “Yeah, they’re good, but they only have that one good album. Oasis have built an empire.”
They continued to bicker, and you found yourself laughing along as Jamie nudged her on the shoulder, telling her to shut up. The teasing all seemed to be in good fun, and you and Katie sat down, the joint being passed to you, as well as a beer.
“Jamie and Nick are in a band,” Katie told you.
“If you can even call it that,” Nick laughed. “We’ve only got a few of our own songs. Alex pretty much wants us to be a Strokes cover band, at the rate he’s going.”
“Plus, we haven’t even had any gigs yet,” Jamie sighed.
“The end of year formal is coming up at our school,” you said, and then immediately regretted it. “But, that might be kind of lame.”
“Might be a good place to do a first gig,” Nick considered. “Think you could get us in?”
“Oh, I have no contacts,” you laughed.
“I might,” Katie shrugged. “I used to be pretty friendly with the girl who is organising it. Emily, she’s called. As far as I know they haven’t got anyone yet.”
***
Over the next few weeks, you ended up spending a lot of time with Katie and her group. They were all really nice, Nick was quiet, Jamie quite cheeky, Holly bubbly and opinionated. You drank and smoked at the skate park, sometimes just you and the girls when the boys were practicing. You found out little bits here and there about the band, what instruments Jamie and Nick played, what type of music they were into, but you hadn’t met the other members yet. You were really hoping to see them play at some point, which is why you were glad when Katie brought news at lunchtime on Wednesday.
“Well, we’ve got the boys in to play at the formal,” she grinned, plopping herself down on the bench next to you. “It didn’t take that much persuading. I think Emily was desperate as she’d blown all the budget on piñatas.”
“That’s great,” you said. You’d been wanting to bring up something with Katie but you weren’t entirely sure how to approach it. “So, have you got a date?”
“Yeah, we both have?” Katie said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Jamie and Nick. Jamie’s taking you.”
“Oh,” you blushed. “I didn’t realise.”
“Normally I would go stag,” Katie took a bite of your sandwich. “To defy the patriarchy. But, we need a lift there and I figured they’re going anyway to play the gig, so what the hell? So, I asked Nick, because his parents have a seven seater, and Jamie overheard and said he would take you.”
When Alex heard the news that they would be doing their first gig at the formal, he nearly had a panic attack. From then on, it was practice every day, rehearsing The Strokes, The Beatles, The Kinks until their fingers bled. He could barely sleep with fear and excitement. He hadn’t even realised that he hadn’t thought about you in weeks, until Nick said something at practice.
“So lads, we’re taking my dad’s seven seater to the gig. Should be able to fit all the gear in the boot, if not, someone will have to take a guitar in their lap. By the way, we’re bringing dates.”
“Dates? How?” Matt asked incredulously. “It’s not even your school!”
“Yeah, but it is Katie’s,” Nick shrugged. “And her friend. Jamie’s going with her.”
“This is supposed to be a gig! Not a night out,” Alex rolled his eyes.
“Same thing,” Jamie grinned. “C’mon, lighten up. We’ll do the gig and then we can have a bit of fun after, surely? Please tell me that cunt Stephen isn’t going,” he added. “I hate that guy.”
“He’s going with Nathan and Sean,” Matt said. “They all have dates. We were going to meet them there.”
Jamie put his hands out on either side, with his fingertip touching his thumb, in mock meditation. “Can’t let anything ruin the gig.”
The boys all laughed, Nick shoving Jamie playfully. Alex’s mind was elsewhere, though, as you had taken up presence in his mind once again. He was imagining taking you to the formal, how beautiful you would look with your hair pinned back and a flowy dress, your hands around his neck as he slow danced with you, smiling sweetly up at him.
“Oi!” Matt was clicking his fingers in front of Alex’s face, snapping him out of his daze. “What do you wanna do next?”
“Um, let’s do “You Really Got Me”. The Kinks,” Alex mumbled, trying to push you out of his mind.
The day of the formal, you and Katie rushed to your house after school. Katie had left her dress at yours already, a simple black dress that came to her knees, that she was wearing with Doc Martens, claiming that heels were a bitch. You, on the other hand, were going to wear a pale pink dress, also stopping at your knees, with silver heels that your mum had gifted you for the occasion.
“I agree though, heels are a bitch,” your mum laughed as she walked past your bedroom that afternoon while you and Katie were getting ready. “But they do look lovely on you, sweetie.”
“Thanks mum,” you replied, making the finishing touches to your make-up, before turning to Katie who proclaimed herself as useless at make-up, and kept blinking at the wrong times.
“So, when are the boys picking you up?” your mum inquired.
“In like, 5 minutes,” you said, rushing around and piling random stuff into a handbag, while Katie picked up your mascara and stared at it curiously, as if it were going to attack her at any second. You grabbed it and shoved it into your handbag. “C’mon,” you said to her. “We should wait downstairs.”
“Photos!” your mum clapped her hands together happily when you went downstairs. She took a polaroid camera from the drawer, lined you and Katie up against the wall and directed you into different poses, classy, silly, fun, smiley. Before you knew it, Jamie and Nick were at the door.
“The lads are waiting in the car,” Jamie grinned. “Think they’re embarrassed they don’t have dates. You look great by the way,” He added, smiling at you.
You tried to not let your face go completely red as your mum started to include Jamie and Nick in the photoshoot. Jamie seemed in good humour about it though, putting two fingers up behind your head and sticking his tongue out. When the photos were done, your mum gave you a kiss on the cheek and told you to be home for 12.
“I will!” You shouted happily, as you ran down the driveway towards the seven seater, hand in hand with Katie.
Alex and Matt sat in the seven seater, and Jamie was right, they were sort of embarrassed that they didn’t have dates. To be honest, it hadn’t even really occurred to Alex, being so focused on the gig itself. He sat in the 2 back seats with Matt, who was grumbling. “How do those two have dates and we don’t?”
“I don’t k-“ Alex stopped mid-sentence.
“What?” Matt said, following Alex’s eyes, who was staring out the window, his mouth agape. “Wait a second, is that-“
“Yes,” Alex scowled. “Yes, it is.”
He watched as you skipped down the drive, a grin taking up your whole face, hand in hand with the girl who had confronted Stephen that day after he pushed you. Anger bubbled up inside him as Jamie opened the door for you, his hand on the small of your back. He could have jumped over the seats and punched him. Especially, when you got into the car, and saw their faces, your face dropped.
“Oh no, not you,” Katie rolled her eyes.
“What?” Nick laughed, confused.
“These aren’t the guys in your band, are they?” Katie folded her arms.
“Yeah, why-“
“Nothing,” you interjected. “It’s nothing.”
Katie saw your face, and said nothing further. You were looking forward to tonight, and you didn’t want anything to ruin it. You felt amazing in your dress, and Jamie was fun, even though you were certain that this was just as friends. You put your seatbelt on and faced forward, trying to pretend that Alex and the other guy (you thought maybe his name was Matt, he wasn’t in any of your classes) weren’t there. You could feel eyes burning into you, but you just tried to focus on Katie, Jamie and Nick.
It was right that eyes were burning into you, the eyes of Alex. He was staring at you, basically drooling, at the way your hair was styled half-up, half-down, showing your shoulders. He could smell a fruity, flowery scent coming from you that was intoxicating. He could feel himself going into another one his trances, and tried to snap himself out of it. Tonight was about the gig, he needed to focus.
When you arrived at the venue, Jamie took your hand to help you up the steps. Alex could have murdered him, right then and there. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up, it wasn’t like he really knew you. He’d just found that lately, he’d discovered something magical that he had been too stupid to notice had been there the whole time.
“Okay, well, we’re going to go play our gig,” Jamie said. “See you girls after?”
“I might have to take Katie home early, from the looks of things,” you joked, as Katie pulled a hip flask from her Doc Martens and began swigging it. “Now I know the real reason she wanted to wear DMs.”
You and Katie made your way over to the drinks table (and by drinks, it consisted of lemonade and coke, “mixers” as Katie said). The band made their way to the stage to set up their gear. Stephen stumbled up with Nathan and Sean, clearly already having had too much.
“Well, faggots,” he boomed, a fierceness in his eyes that seemed particularly intense today. “Should we start giving out the earplugs now?”
“Ha-ha,” said Jamie, who had never been afraid of Stephen, despite being smaller, and not as broad. He followed the philosophy that a bully only continues bullying when you don’t stand up them. “Do you have any earplugs by chance? I’ll need them, if you plan on continuing to talk.”
Jamie and Nick shared a look, sniggering. Stephen backed down, partly because he was very drunk, and partly because Jamie’s philosophy was correct. He turned his attention to Nathan instead, getting him in a headlock and dragging him away, towards the drinks table.
The boys finished setting up their gear, and Emily, the girl who organised the formal, introduced them as “Arctic Monkeys”, a name that Jamie had coined randomly the other week. They couldn’t think of anything else, so they got stuck with it.
They played a few Strokes, a few The Kinks (“You Really Got Me” proving to be a good choice, as it got the crowd going), a few Beatles, and 2 originals, “Matt Dave Rock Song” and “Ravey Ravey Ravey Club”.
You watched in admiration. Their sound seemed both really unique, but reminiscent of a sort of garage rock that you had listened to before. Your eyes seemed drawn to Alex, no matter where you tried to look, they automatically moved back to him. He possessed a disposition that appeared both shy and confident at the same time. It was really attractive, and you hated yourself for thinking it, since he was part of a group in school that seemed determined to make your life hell. When you really thought about it though, it was Stephen that was the perpetrator, the only crime Alex and the other boys had committed was laughing. You really were the bigger person, because you started to feel sorry for them, they were probably afraid of Stephen too – who knows what went on behind closed doors with them.
At one point, you and Alex locked eyes, and you could have sworn something in his eyes was trying to tell you something. But, that certainly wouldn’t have been the case, you told yourself. You were being delusional. Besides, you were here with Jamie, even if it was just as friends – Jamie was nice and good-looking, your energy was best spent on having a good time with him, Katie and Nick.
You could see Stephen slumped over a chair in the corner, eyes closed, drool dripping from his mouth, shirt half-buttoned. He looked really stupid, and it pleased you. Maybe you weren’t the bigger person after all.
The band finished their set. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, but Alex noticed that you and Katie cheered the loudest, his stomach once again filling with butterflies.
“Right then lads, few cans? Katie’s got a free house,” Nick said happily, rubbing his hands together.
“Yeah, for some people,” Alex turned and saw Katie standing beside him, arms folded.
“Aw come on, Kate, they’ll do no harm,” Jamie said. He gestured over to the corner where Stephen had been slumped, where Nathan and Sean were currently trying to haul him up, an arm each. “Plus, looks like the ones we were worried about have got their hands full.”
“Well, all right,” Katie relented. “As long as it’s okay with you?” She turned to you.
“Oh yeah, that’s fine,” you said, just glad that Stephen wasn’t going to be anywhere near.
The crowd filed out of the hall, some couples rolling over each other in bushes, other groups of friends waiting for their lifts. The group consisting of you, Katie, Jamie, Nick, Matt and Alex piled into the seven seater again, and took off for Katie’s. Somehow you had ended up next to Alex this time, and an anxiety seemed to be radiating from him. At one point, Nick turned a hard corner and you nearly fell into his lap.
“Oh! Sorry,” you squeaked, pushing yourself up and fixing your hair.
“No problem,” he said quietly.
Alex was finding it hard to breathe. The perfume from you was right under his nostrils now, and he could barely concentrate. The thoughts were back again, imagining that it was just you and him in the car, you crawling onto his lap and kissing him hard as he ran his hands up your sides. It didn’t help that now he had a perfect view of your legs, fuck they were gorgeous, which kept knocking into his every time the car turned a corner. He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him, but he knew that whatever it was, he needed to stop it. Maybe if he hadn’t been such an idiot, he could have made a move months ago, before Jamie got there first. He considered asking Nick to just drop him off so he could go home and wallow in his own stupidity. But, before he knew it, they were already at Katie’s.
When you got inside, Katie passed you a Smirnoff ice with a straw and set to rolling a joint. “This weed is way better than that over shit you gave me, Jamie. Make sure it stays at this standard.”
“What, you think I grow it myself?” Jamie laughed. “Take it up with the chief of police.”
“Music?” you suggested, as everyone found a seat. “Steely Dan?” You raised your eyebrows playfully at Katie, holding the vinyl up hopefully.
“I’ll never say no to Steely Dan,” Nick agreed.
You bent over the record player, placing the record on and letting the needle fall, “Do it Again” began playing. You had had some of Katie’s vodka at the formal, and you were starting to feel it. You and Katie started dancing, the joint was being passed round, and you could feel Alex watching you. Usually, you would be nervous of someone watching you, but right now, you didn’t really seem to mind. In fact, you kind of liked that he was watching you. You wanted to portray a different version of yourself to him, and to Matt as well, that you weren’t just some shy girl who could be walked over, and that you had confidence.
Jamie came over to dance with you, taking your hand and spinning you round. You were dancing in front of the record player, and as he grabbed both of your hands to pull you towards him, you were suddenly separated by Alex cutting in between you to get to the record player.
“What else have you got?” He said shortly to Katie.
“Calm down, you’re not Julian Casablancas yet,” she scoffed. “Have a look, the records are underneath.”
Alex chose “The Dark Side of the Moon” by Pink Floyd.
“We’re only smoking weed, not acid,” you joked playfully, but he just glared at you. You weren’t hurt though, it may have been the alcohol and the weed, but you were kind of spurred on. If anything, you wanted to annoy him even more. It seemed to be that the more you danced and got closer to Jamie, the more agitated he got. You thought maybe he had a crush on you, you definitely did on him, despite everything. Even if that wasn’t the case, you let yourself enjoy the thought that maybe he did.
So you danced closer to Jamie, and the night progressed. You drank your Smirnoff ice, delicately placing the straw in your mouth, watching Alex shift uncomfortably in his seat as you did so. Jamie was watching you too now, and you giggled at his jokes and placed a hand on his chest, flirting with him. It was fun, you had never really been given this much attention before. Maybe it was getting to your head. You decided to step out into Katie’s back garden for a bit of fresh air by yourself.
You didn’t want to play with Jamie, yes he was good-looking, but he seemed to you as more of a natural friend rather than anything else. After a couple of minutes, he came outside to check on you.
“You okay?” He asked, sitting down on the step beside you.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a bit of fresh air. Getting a bit drunk now,” you laughed, trying not to slur your words.
“Don’t tell me you’ve got the underage drinking blues,” he nudged your shoulder with his. “Come on, this is the type of stuff we’ll look back on when we’re older and wish we could re-live.”
Jamie took out a cigarette and lit it. “Can I have one of those?” you asked.
He handed you one and lit it. You shivered, only wearing your spaghetti strap dress. Jamie offered you his jacket, and you said yes. He was just placing it round your shoulders when the back door opened.
“Oh, sorry-“ Alex said awkwardly, with a tone of annoyance. “Matt and I are going to head. Was wondering if you wanted to walk with us.”
“It is getting a bit late,” Jamie said. You looked at the clock and saw that it was 2am.
“Fuck! I was supposed to be home by 12!” You jumped up, dropping the cigarette and rushing past Alex. “Sorry Katie, I have to go!”
“No point panicking now, you’re already late,” Nick laughed.
“We’re all walking that way anyway, we’ll leave you home,” Jamie said.
“Oh yeah, that’ll look good to her parents, walking with four boys she’s never met before,” Katie raised her eyebrows.
“It’ll be fine,” you said hurriedly, grabbing your bag and giving Katie a quick hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
You walked a couple of streets with the band, and said good-bye to the boys, who walked on down the street a bit. Jamie walked you up to the step. “I had a really good time tonight,” he said. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thanks,” you said shyly, as he reached and placed a strand of hair behind your ear. You looked down to your shoes, but he reached a put a finger underneath your chin, bringing your face up to look at him.
He was leaning in closer to you, and your lips met. It was your first kiss, and you didn’t know what to do, but Jamie led the way, softly running his tongue over your lips, asking for permission to enter. You obliged, letting his tongue massage your own. His hands rested on your hips, while yours made their way up to his neck.
You pulled away for breath, and all you could say was “Wow.” It was great, and Jamie was definitely hot, but a nagging thought in your mind was that you hoped Alex was watching. He probably didn’t even care, but again, you let yourself enjoy the thought of Alex being enraged at you kissing his bandmate.
Alex was watching, and he was fucking furious, there was no other way to describe it. Apparently, Matt seemed to pick up on this, because he said in a concerned voice, “Mate? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Alex snapped. “I just-want to get home. It’s fucking freezing out here. If I’d known we’d have to stand here and watch Jamie get some then I would have just gone home earlier.”
“Lighten up, Alex,” said Nick. “You’ll get some too. There’s plenty to go around.”
You went inside, and Jamie walked back over to them, looking very pleased with himself.
“Well?” Nick asked. “How was it?”
“Fucking amazing,” Jamie said, grinning. “Seriously, where the hell has she been? A girl that is that hot and funny and likes good music.”
“Oh, she’s the only girl in the world that likes good music,” Alex scoffed.
“Do you know any?” Jamie asked, shrugging.
“Katie and Holly, to be fair,” said Nick.
“You’ve got a point,” Jamie nodded. “Anyway, let’s get home.”
“Yeah, Jamie’s got a stiffy he needs to sort out,” Matt teased.
“Wouldn’t you have?” Jamie said unashamedly.
Yeah, I would, Alex thought to himself.
***
The next morning, you woke with a pounding headache. You were extremely lucky in that your parents fell asleep before you got home, so you managed to evade punishment for being late. You also felt kind of ashamed of yourself, a feeling that grew bigger over the following summer weeks as you and Jamie seemed to be getting closer, in more ways than one. You enjoyed the relationship with Jamie, he was your first kiss and had also now been your first time, but Alex seemed to be etched permanently into your mind. Also, Jamie would be going to university at the end of the summer, so it wouldn’t make sense to have a relationship with someone who would be moving to a different part of the country. The more you thought about Alex, the more obsessed you became, coming up with all kinds of theories that he had gifted you the new copy of The Catcher in The Rye. After all, he had seen the incident happen and he was in your English class. You tried to deny in your head that it was him, but you couldn't deny the facts.
One day, you, Katie, Holly, Nick and Jamie were hanging out at the skate park, when you asked Jamie if the two of you could talk.
“Listen,” you said, once you’d got him alone. “I’m really sorry, but I’m not sure we should continue whatever it is we have going on. You’ll be leaving soon, and I- well, I’m not sure I’m the right girl for you.”
Jamie sighed. “I thought this might happen. Can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I think you might have a point. Long distance stuff never works.”
You nodded, feeling really bad, but also kind of relieved.
“Though, I’m not sure about the part about not being the right girl for me,” Jamie grinned cheekily. “Yeah, that part I’m certain is incorrect.”
You blushed, staring down at your shoes.
“Gonna miss you blushing like that,” Jamie said. “But, what’s meant to be will be. Who knows what will happen in the future. For now, friends?”
He held out his hand for you to shake. “Friends,” you agreed, smiling.
Jamie and Nick both departed for university at the end of the summer, and that was that. It was weird for Alex, both a blessing and a curse that Jamie was gone. Yes, he knew that you and him had broken off whatever it was that you had going, but it also meant that the band had went into hiatus, and that – he wasn’t too pleased about. Stephen had departed also, to somewhere in Scotland. One thing for was for sure, Alex wouldn’t be making an effort to keep in contact.
In fairness, over the next year, he wasn’t sure that he would have even had time to think about the band with all the homework and revision he had to do. This was their final year, and though the band was his priority, he also wanted to go to university to study English Literature.
The year seemed to fly in and drag in at the same time. By the end of it, the entire year was exhausted. You weren’t sure that you even had the energy to go to Leaver’s Night, as it was called. With everyone now 18, you all went to a nightclub in town to get drunk and celebrate the end of secondary school.
One good thing about the situation with Jamie and the absence of Stephen was that your confidence had greatly increased. You had no qualms about wearing short dresses, skirts, wearing your hair up, anything. Your body had certainly matured into an adult, with your chest filling out and your curves accentuated. For Leaver’s Night, which was fairly casual, you chose a denim skirt and a low-cut top.
Things with Katie were the same as always. You had never known anyone like her, and you were grateful for her friendship every day. You both planned to go to university in Manchester, Katie to study History of Art, and you, English Literature.
“You look HOT!” She proclaimed, as you were both finishing getting ready. “Seriously, if Jamie could see you now, he’d probably shoot himself for leaving.”
You just giggled, but you knew Katie was right. Not only did you look hot, you felt hot. Alex had never made a move on you after Jamie left, so you knew it must have been in your head. Despite this, you couldn’t help but wonder if he thought you were hot. You were pretty much desperate for him to have those thoughts, so you did everything in your power to maintain it, even if it was just in your head. You had purchased black lacy lingerie with flowers embroidered, even though it was likely pointless.
Alex made his way to Leaver’s Night with Matt, Sean and Nathan. He was excited to be finished school, and even more so to reunite the band in London where he and Matt were planning to go to university, and where Jamie and Nick currently were.
He felt like a stalker though, as a big part of his year had consisted of watching you. He continued staring at you in English, and some part of him thought that maybe you knew. For example, you seemed to have developed a habit of dropping pencils on the floor that you never had before, and then bending over in such a way to pick them up that drove him crazy. He also noticed that your skirts got shorter, your perfume stronger, and your lips redder.
He couldn’t stop himself from staring when he saw you in the nightclub. The two of you locked eyes, and you shot him a quick smile before returning to giggling with Katie and sipping your Smirnoff eye through the straw. Fuck me, he thought, Does she always have to drink with a straw?
Alex was determined to get as drunk as possible tonight. After a few drinks, he was certainly feeling it. When he saw you dancing, he was about to make a move, then you started approaching the bar alone. Now was his chance.
He sidled up behind you, placing an arm over your shoulder, his palm flat on the bar. “Pint of Stella please,” he said to the barman. “And a Smirnoff ice. With a straw, please.”
You turned to look at him and he was grinning sloppily at you, clearly a bit of dutch courage seemed to be working for him. “What?” he said. “Isn’t that your drink?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you said. You were a bit drunk yourself, and you felt a flutter between your thighs as his arm remained in the same place, seemingly keeping you there. The drinks came, and you immediately put the straw in your mouth, making sure your lips were pouted.
Alex was looking at you hungrily, there was no denying it. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you continued sipping through your straw. "Want a smoke?"
He ignored your question. "God, don't look at me like that. You know what you're doing."
"What am I doing?" you asked innocently.
"Oh please, don't act innocent," He leaned towards you, whispering, his breath hot on your ear. "You don't think I've seen you, your skirt getting shorter, bending over to get your pencil, giving me a full view of your ass? Maybe I'm crazy, if I am, then tell me to stop..."
Then he was kissing your neck, your cheeks, and finally your lips. He grabbed you roughly by the waist, like a man who had been waiting forever for this moment, and now that he had finally got it, he couldn't let go. You couldn't help but press your body into him, your hands immediately went into his hair, your fingers grabbing the tips and pulling. You were moaning into his mouth as his hands were applying pressure on your hips, his thumbs pressing deep, you imagined they were leaving bruises. The thought of that, God, it turned you on even more, him leaving his mark on you.
You finally pulled apart. "So, I'm not crazy then?" He grinned.
You shook your head, biting your lip, his eyes burning into you.
"You don't even want to know the thoughts I've been having over the past year," He said breathlessly, his hands still gripping your waist, his property.
"I bet I do," you responded, sipping your Smirnoff ice again. "Only, I don't want them to be thoughts anymore."
That was it for him. "Let's get out of here," he said hurriedly. "I can't wait. My parents are out at some dinner party. They'll not be back for a few hours."
You quickly grabbed Katie, telling her you were going home. "No way!" She pouted. "Holly just got here!"
"I know, but I gotta go. Give Holly a hug from me."
You left with Alex, and got a taxi together. You sat together in the backseat, Alex's hand resting on your thigh, drawing circles on it, driving you crazy. You wanted him to crawl on top of you and fuck you senseless right there, but you had to wait.
After what felt like an age, you finally made it to Alex's house. He fumbled with his keys, got the door open, let you in and closed the door behind him. You stood looking at each other for a moment, Alex's chest heavy, the tension between the two of you insurmountable. Then he moved towards you and pressed you up against the wall, placing his mouth on yours, roaming his hands all over your body. You responded with the same force, grabbing onto his shoulders. Your tongues massaged one another's, greedily exploring each other's mouths. You could feel the heat rising in your belly.
"You don't know how long I've waited for this. Having to see you with Jamie, fuck, it killed me," Alex admitted breathlessly.
"Really?" You replied. "Sometimes I thought you hated me..."
"I could never hate you," he whispered, cupping your face. "Ever. I'm an idiot. I should have stood up for you."
"I know," you conceded. "You should have. But, you did replace my book."
Alex grinned. "You knew it was me?"
"Well, it was never confirmed until now," you said, smiling. "But I had my suspicions."
"I'll never let that happen again," he promised, kissing your forehead, and your face. "I promise. I've hated myself ever since. I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, Alex," you said, putting your arms around his neck. "I forgive you." The alcohol was rising to your head, making you braver than ever. Your lifted your skirt slowly to show the lingerie you were wearing, that you'd put on with him in mind. "This is how much I forgive you. When I put this set on today, I was thinking of you."
"Fucking hell," Alex whispered helplessly, dropping to his knees. "Can I see it all?"
You nodded, pulling your top off and discarding it, him pulling your skirt down, leaving you standing in just the lingerie. He groaned at the sight of you, drinking you in. "I never wanna forget this," he said. "Can I touch you?"
"Yes," you breathed.
He touched you through your panties, where there was a damp spot. "You're so wet, baby. All for me?"
"Yes, Alex," you gasped, as he moved your panties to one side, putting his fingers between your folds and gathering your wetness, dragging it up your pussy to your clit, moving his fingers in circles.
You were a moaning mess. You couldn't believe this was finally happening. You had dreamed about it, all sorts of fantasies, him fucking you in a car, in class - you had no idea he was having these fantasies too.
Before you knew it, his mouth was on you, his tongue massaging your clit slowly. He inserted a finger inside you, then two, dragging them in and out at a maddeningly slow pace, before increasing it, his fingers fucking you quickly. You grabbed his hair, fisting it in your hands, your head lolling back against the wall. His dirty words were turning you on even more, if that was possible.
"You like that, me eating your pussy? Bet you've been thinking about this, haven't you?" His mouth hot against you. "You taste fucking amazing, I could stay here forever."
You were nearing the brink now. "So close, Alex, yes..."
"I love it when you say my name. You don't know how I've dreamt of making you scream it. You gonna cum for me? Come on, let go.."
And you did. Your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, your legs shaking, his hands attempting to hold them still. He stood up, his mouth shining, looking very pleased with himself. You could see how hard he was through his jeans, reaching out, you palmed him, earning another groan from him.
"You feel so big," you said, looking up at him through your eyelashes as he stood, looking down at you hungrily.
His hand covered yours, massaging him through his jeans. "See how hard you make me, baby? God, I've been wanting to fuck you for so long, I can't believe this is happening..."
"Me either," you admitted. Come on, say it. Be brave. "I've dreamt of being on my knees for you, your cock in my mouth..."
"Oh Christ. You're gonna make me cum in my pants if you keep saying things like that."
"How about in my mouth?" And you were kneeling down in front of him, pulling his jeans and boxers down, letting his cock spring free. It was as big as it looked through his jeans, you weren't quite sure how it was going to fit inside you, never mind in your mouth. But you went for it anyway, spitting on your hand and moving it through your hand with a fist, before putting it in your mouth and hollowing your cheeks.
"Fuck," groaned Alex. "You're so fucking sexy... just like that."
His hand was in your hair now, making a ponytail, manoeuvring your head back and forth. The hallway was filled with the sound of each other's moans, you hadn't even managed to make it to his bedroom yet. You were gagging on his cock, his sounds and words of encouragement spurring you on, before he pulled you off, and lifted you off your feet, carrying you upstairs.
"Sorry, babe, but you were gonna make me cum. And I really, really wanna fuck you, if you want to."
"Hmmm," you pondered playfully, watching his face drop. "I'm kidding."
"Thank God for that," he said, laying you on his bed. He grabbed a condom from his bedside drawer, rolling it on, before propping himself up on his forearms above you, positioning himself at your entrance. "You sure?"
"Yes," you answered, and he wasted no time. He pushed himself inside you, the stretch was amazing and you threw your head back against his pillow. "Oh my God, yes..."
"Feel good?" Alex grinned. You nodded, barely able to speak, as he started to move inside you slowly. You stared into each other's eyes, the way he was looking at you was like he could devour you in a second.
Then he picked up the pace, slamming his cock into you, watching your face for every expression to memorise. Your eyes were closed, your mouth agape, as he hit just the right spot over and over. His fingers found your clit again, moving in furious circles. You arched your back into him.
"Look at you," he growled. "Can barely control yourself on my cock. Does that feel good?"
You nodded, opening your eyes to take in the gorgeous view above you. His forehead was soaked with sweat, dripping onto you as he bit his lip, staring down at your face like it was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen.
"Use your words, baby," he commanded.
"Feels so good, Alex," you panted. "I love your cock inside me.."
"Yeah? Better than Jamie?"
"So much better, oh-I'm gonna cum-"
"That's it baby, cum all over my cock."
And you did. Your walls clenched around him, your legs shaking, your head thrown back as he kept hitting that spot and rubbing your clit simultaneously. Your pussy tightening made him groan. "You're so fucking tight, I'm gonna cum."
He followed shortly after you, collapsing on top of you, the both of you breathing hard. After tossing the condom in the bin, he pulled the covers over the two of you, holding you in his arms.
"I can't believe this, I've wanted to hold you like this for so long," he laughed, like he couldn't believe his own luck. "That was like- better than anything I've ever dreamed of."
You giggled. "Me too."
He kissed your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face. "That fucking lingerie... Jesus Christ. You really put that on for me?"
"Well, I never thought you and me would happen, but I just thought, you never know," you admitted.
"You got that right," he grinned. "Can you stay over?"
"Yeah, I'll just call my mum and say I'm staying at Katie's. Will your parents be alright with it?"
"Yeah, they'll be cool."
"Can I use your phone?" you asked, and he agreed, so you both got dressed and went downstairs to dial your mum's number. You left a message, and then went back upstairs, falling into bed together, exhausted.
"I'm so glad you've forgiven me," Alex said, kissing your head gently. "I'm not sure I deserve it."
"Of course you do," you said. "You were like, 16. Don't beat yourself about it."
"It's hard not to," he admitted. "I always wanted to run after you, make sure you were okay. It must have been Hell."
"It was," you said. "But it's all good now. Plus, I'm pretty sure I just went to Heaven in the last half an hour."
You both laughed, Alex wrapping his arms around you. You cuddled until you both fell asleep, feeling safe in his arms, like you should always have been there.
