Lost in London

Welcome t'the Scottish Pantry! Sit doon, 'ave some traditional food an' good company. Aye I know we're in London but tha's not the point. I'm Doug, nice t'meet ya! (OC RP account, not for any fandom. Feel free to jump in and rp with me! OC friendly. Face Claim Chris O'Dowd. No gifs or pics are mine x)

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

(MUN IS OFF TO LONDON)

(WHEN I COME BACK I SHOULD HAVE MUCH DOUG FEELS SO SEE YOU ALL ON FRIDAY X)

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

  "I like tha’ idea! Aye, could have fancy dress, string up a coupla decorations. Make a wee thing o’ it!"

[puddlesy--archive-deactivated20]

She grinned, “Awesome. Halloween is by far the best holiday.”

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Ye think so?" Doug hummed in thought and smiled, "I ne' thought as much o' it before. Though my wee lass used te' like it."

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

sugarmakeseverythingbetter found the cafe

Doug leaned on the counter, arms folded and watched the people of London live their lives outside his cafe. Occasionally he would try and guess where they were from, where they were going and the like. It was quite a slow day. Then the bell on the door tinkled, he stood up to his considerable height and smiled kindly.

"Welcome t'the Scottish Pantry lass, ah'm Doug, wha' can I dee fer ye?"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

theladiesofm came fer a wee treat

Doug looked up from the game of Angry Birds and pushed his phone away with a somewhat guilty smile when he noticed the woman walking towards the counter.

"Welcome t'the Scottish Pantry, I'm Doug. Wha' can I get fer ye lass?"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

doubting-tomas came for a whisky

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

  The stranger seemed stunned for a moment before he spoke in an accent Doug didn’t recognize. 

"English breakfast? Ye dunne soond very certain a’ that lad," he chuckled lightly, "coming reet up fer ye," he scribbled down the order before looking back up at the man, curiosity getting the better of him.

"If ye dunne mind me askin’ where are ye from lad? I dunne recognize tha’ accent a yers."

[doubting-tomas]

He could barely understand the drawl, but pieced together the spacings between the words, the curious sing-song intonation, as the man wrote down his order in a handwriting he could barely understand.

"Uh - Isra - Judea - Israel," he finally decided upon. Yes, he was from Israel, /proudly/ from Israel, no matter what the Romans chose to call it. No matter what… recent events had happened. "You know it at all?" he ventured, half jokingly.

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Israel? Ye're a long way from home mate," he shook his head with a smile and a slight chuckle, "no, I've no' had the time yet, or the money. One of the places I mi' like t' visit though, fer the food," his smile grew, "what de ye reckon? Is i' a nice place?"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

jesslynshepard came fer a wee treat

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Tha’s nee problem lass," he put the hot chocolate down and chuckled. "And nee need t’call me sir, make’s me feel old," he paused, "or like a teacher," he extended a huge hand, "name’s Doug, pleasure t’meet ya."

[jesslynshepard-deactivated20170]

She let the first piece of cake disappear in her mouth, humming surprised at how delicious it was. She held her thumbs up and flashed him a toothless grin. Swallowing down politely, she nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with being old or .. a teacher.”, she told him and reached for his hand after putting down the fork. “My name’s Jesslyn Shepard, but please just call me Jess. Pleasure’s all mine, Doug.”

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Doug took the woman's hand in his large on and shook it with a smile.

"Nice t'meet ye Jess," he let her hand go and nodded slightly, "aye, nout wrong wi' beein a teacher but no' fer me if ye ken? I couldne' deal wi' the parents," he chuckled. 

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

2 people came for food

[leavethehxrtbehind-deactivated2]

  A genuinely surprised smile caught her lips and she couldn’t quite say anything in return because people never did these things for her.

Her eyes remained downcast and she found she couldn’t bring herself to look up again. He was somewhat, to an extent, scaring her. No-one was meant to be able to read her emotions. She was incapable of emotion; or so she liked to believe. “I… Thank you.”

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Think nea o' it lass," he smiled slightly, regarding her with kind eyes.

"Ye look like ye've had a bit o' a rough day." Perhaps a large understaitment, the girl looked ready to drop. "What'ere you were deein I dunne envy ye."

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

2 people came for food

[bluesandpointeshoes-blog1]

  Noting his almost inaudible sigh, Tabatha glanced over at where he was still working behind the counter. There was something so… forlorn about him, just beneath the bright interior. She just couldn’t quite figure it out.

'You don't sound entirely convinced,' she mentioned casually, sending a quick smile his way. 'Don't worry, I'm not gonna be offended if you don't like London.'

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Doug looked at the girl and his smile returned. He straightened up again and chuckled.

"Aye, I s'pose I'm no' quite a fan but ye gotte remember ah'm from Scotland. No' enough trees roond here. Maybe I should go camp out in Hyde Park for a couplea days eh?"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Thinkin’ a mebbe deein’ a Halloween event fer the cafe, whaddya rekon? 

[puddlesy--archive-deactivated20]

"You could make pumpkin soup, an’ witches brew.. sounds good!"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"I like tha' idea! Aye, could have fancy dress, string up a coupla decorations. Make a wee thing o' it!"

[whipporwill-deactivated20111220]

[thehighladyelf]

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

O_O

[mintslicebiscuits]

yesss i found it again! one of my all time favourite reads.

[yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw]

Philosophy went to the max right here

[lsdandthc]

OI SCROLL BACK UP AND READ ALL OF IT!

[burgerbabebrunette]

I was really intrigued by this

[doubting-tomas]

{I literally just saw this post as you said on Twitter ‘cracks eggs into pan’}

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

puddlesy came fer a wee bite to eat

Doug had been leaning on the counter, pencil in hand drawing up ideas for a Halloween event to bring in more money when the door opened. He stood up to his considerable full height and smiled.

"Welcome t'the Scottish Pantry, ah'm Doug. Wha' can I get fer ye?"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Thinkin' a mebbe deein' a Halloween event fer the cafe, whaddya rekon? 

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

2 people came for food

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Doug chuckled and smiled at the girl.

"Dunne worry aboot it lass, we’re nea exactly high class." He nodded and hummed a little in thought, he couldn’t imagine living here all his life. Trapped in the noise and general crowds. Still, if things didn’t improve this is where he was bound to stay.

"How tha’ workin fer yea lass? Ye like it doon here?"

[bluesandpointeshoes-blog1]

'Well, neither am I. Which is why I thought I might have noticed it.' She grinned, swirling the beans on the plate around with the end of her fork. 'I love London,' she added wistfully, looking out of the window and taking in the sights of the city. Well, the parked cars and the bus stop, but still. It was home.

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

He followed the girls gaze and sighed ever so slightly. Part of him longed to see what she saw. To find a home in the concrete and red buses and Boris' Bikes but he couldn't. Not without Maggie at any rate.

"Aye, I can think a worse placed te live."

Just about.

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

jesslynshepard came fer a wee treat

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Suit ye’r self lass," he smiled and handed her a slice of cake, "yer hot chocolate’l jus be a wee moment lass," 

[jesslynshepard-deactivated20170]

She nodded and did what she’d been told to, taking a seat and smiling down at the piece of cake a bit. She chuckled, taking the fork in her hand. “Thanks very much, Sir.”

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Tha's nee problem lass," he put the hot chocolate down and chuckled. "And nee need t'call me sir, make's me feel old," he paused, "or like a teacher," he extended a huge hand, "name's Doug, pleasure t'meet ya."

[myalphahusbandwesker-deactivate]

  After a tiff, the drunken man left the pub in a stagger leaving Alisha a little miffed to say the least. “Thank you for that,” she said to the man. “I hardly ever have that problem,” she murmured as she finished her meal. Within seconds her phone buzzed and she gave her proprietors the address for the pub. She waited for her ride in the pub feeling safe to say the least, when several men came in fussing about how they have been looking for the young Archaeologist she waved them off. “Again, thank you for your help,” she said as she left the money for the food, a little extra than that and her card with her number. “See you around.” 

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

"Think nea of it lass," said Doug with a kind smile, "ne' less than a could dee," he took the money, putting it into the till with a satisfied feeling-and Elle had said he'd never make anything of the cafe. He smiled at the card and waved a huge hand at the girl. "Nea problem lass, see ye 'aroond. Come back any teem!"

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

doubting-tomas came for a whisky

[doubting-tomas]

  "Uh -"

The accent, the sheer /friendliness/ implied in that voice as well, took him by surprise, and he blinked in the still unusual smell of fried breakfast. Sizzling bacon. So damn appealing. He wasn’t used to these smells back in Israel, where the most you’d usually get for breakfast was hummus and pitta bread. He wasn’t much of a breakfast person either; a quick coffee usually did him.

Although it was long gone breakfast now. He still wasn’t hungry, though. Not much made him hungry these days.

Except that /smell/. It was a long, long time since he had had bacon. Only once or twice, as a dare. 

He had heard good things about English bacon.

He paused in the bright lights, his eyes focused on the whisky in front of the shop attendant - Doug, did he say? He hadn’t caught much else of what the man had said, his English was okay, getting better, but still not great for these weird regional accents - as the current of London slowly passed by the steamed window.

What did it matter if he ate bacon?

Who the fuck would care any more?

"An - uh - English breakfast?" he said, unsurely. Was it too late to order such things? Was a breakfast at dinner time weird? Was he about to be thrown out for looking strange?

Would the stranger know it was his first time eating bacon?

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

The stranger seemed stunned for a moment before he spoke in an accent Doug didn't recognize. 

"English breakfast? Ye dunne soond very certain a' that lad," he chuckled lightly, "coming reet up fer ye," he scribbled down the order before looking back up at the man, curiosity getting the better of him.

"If ye dunne mind me askin' where are ye from lad? I dunne recognize tha' accent a yers."

[myalphahusbandwesker-deactivate]

  "I just wanted to see if the lass wanted to come home with me," the drunk slurred. Alisha pulled against his grip again.

"And I assure you, I don't," she snarled.

[averyscottishscotsman-blog]

Doug's hand was against the man's chest in a second and he pushed him firmly. 

"The girl said no, now I'll gi ye ten seconds to high tail it oot or I'm gunne make sure I mess yer ugly mug in nice and proper, ye ken?"