WHERE FLOWERS BLOOM

[aworidwithout]

                           “Like love, life is beautiful because it must come to an end.”  

                            —&CARRD. RULES. ORIGINAL CHARACTER by Nich.

[aworidwithout]

((I've been gone for a few months, focusing on some other things, but I'm gonna revive this blog this week (thats the goal at least)

[dramastream]

Choi Joon Woong & Kong TOMORROW 내일 (2022) dir. Kim Tae Yoon

[aworidwithout]

I made a new multi-muse blog this weekend, I’ll follow some people on there or feel free to follow me. It’s blank for now, but I hope to write with some of the new muses i’ve developed. 

[aworidwithout]

continuation from here | @swansofmisery

She’s the girl from the bookstore was his first thought when his colleagues invited her to join their game. They needed another member to make the game fair, but if she wasn’t interested why bother? She never seemed particularly interested in anything when he first saw her at the bookstore. Although beautiful, she seemed unapproachable. She was so beautiful that it was unreal which in turn, made her unapproachable that day. But on this day, she felt warm and inviting. Haru assumed it was because of the sport. “You’re the girl who works at the bookstore, I was there the other day,” and the next few weeks were history,  very cliche. 

He wasn’t looking for a relationship, but maybe he should have been to fill the void his friendships were unable to fill before his untimely death. Over the time he knew her, his attraction to her grew physically and emotionally. He enjoyed talking to her to pass time before their game or sharing a snack with her just to spend more time together. It was a nice change of pace and served as an escape. 

So when he meets her the next weekend, he brings along her favorite milk tea and sits beside her on the grass underneath her favorite oak tree. In return, it had become his favorite spot as well. When he said those words, he meant them. Not because she was great at volleyball (which was true) but because of how she looked in the sunlight, the way her dark hair flowed down her back, and how she talked shit after scoring in each game. He wants to experience more of that and more parts of her. And what better way to seal this desire with a kiss, if she’d accept. She was clever when she spoke and he listened to it all with one thought on his mind. 

“An addiction I’d accept, no cure needed.” He leans closer to her, planting a soft and subtle kiss on her lips, one that he had thought of the last few weeks. He didn’t particularly care who was around as he did so. He kisses her again, his hand resting on the side of her neck, strands of her hair loosely intertwining with his fingers. It’s just a kiss or two, possibly more before he pulls away to lock eyes with hers. They were beautiful, just like every other part of her and he could get lost in them for sometime. In fact, he wants to get lost in them every night. 

“Let’s skip today’s game, they can play without us.”

[aworidwithout]

tvsteoftrvgedy​:

Regret only comes knocking at a corner of your heart in proportion to the passages of time; It’s only when you’ve taken an action and said a word out loud that you realized you shouldn’t have taken another step. Hearing other people’s happier days like this sometimes made her feel selfish and awful for failing to completely feel happy for them, especially for a friend. Taking the cup she brought for herself, she draws it close to her lips as an immediate action to delay the response to his question she dreads to hear. 

How’s life been? 

This is one reason why everything and everyone from her past should have remained in that repository alone. How foolish. She curses beneath her breath. 

But it wasn’t Haru’s fault. None of it was. 

“Life has been..“, Naeun returns the cup on the saucer and momentarily trails off before drawing a smile to her lips with a bit of courage, “good, yeah? I never thought I’d be working in a coffee shop myself when all I thought of this specific beverage was how bitter it was.” Even the mention of her preference that gradually changed over time has become an evidence of the lost moments in between them. “You could say that I’m not as successful as you are but I’m happy working here.” 

The fact that the two had to lie about their state of lives is something as ironic as how an adult life can be, isn’t it? But just like him, at least, the last statement bears genuine honesty. 

“I think I still kept those doodles back at home. I should frame them.” Did she? She can’t remember it now but her notes must be stacked away in some boxes back at her hometown, one she left a long time ago.

Just as they are speaking, Naeun couldn’t help but glance at the sight of his replica, the demon, who has been looming around the other customers seated quietly as they sip on their drinks. Of course, there are other entities in this place she’s been trying hard to ignore but this one is a formidable one. She’ll never get used to these things..  

As if on cue as she feels Haru’s curious gaze, she immediately draws her attention back to him. 

“Animation, huh? Have you worked on some famous shows? Also, not to pry, but you’ve been here for hours and seemingly nervous. Were you waiting for someone?” 

He stares into the black cup of coffee momentarily before he eventually takes a sip. The usually bitter beverage takes a little bit sweeter after talking to her, albeit still cold. There’s something nostalgic to their meeting despite the circumstances. And because of this, he tries to focus all his attention on her or at least as much as he can, for as long as he can. “Who says you’re not as successful? Our careers don’t define us, you know? As long as you're fulfilled and happy, that’s what matters. Should I get off of my soap box or keep going?” 

Their conversation has only lasted a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity because of the way his mind wanders back and forth between her and his surroundings. Focus, Haru, Focus. You’re having a hard time with this now? Does she make you nervous? Not in a ‘butterflies-in-my-stomach kind of way”, but more of a “she-knows-something-I-don’t” kind of way. 

He runs his fingers through dark hair, physically trying to rid himself of intrusive thoughts before answering her question. It doesn’t work. The thoughts are still lurking in the back of his mind, waiting to become top of mind once again. “Yeah– Studio Mir is pretty famous. I worked on Lookism and Koji pilot animation recently. Fun projects, but time consuming–energy draining. There were days, I’d just sleep in the office because it was easier.” 

When she questions him, he finally understands the anxiousness in the pit of his stomach. The she-knows-something feeling. Does it show on his face or in his body language? Or is she just that attentive? 

“Well I feel a bit nervous– but what if that’s just because I met you? It’s not everyday you catch-up with an ex-girlfriend. Even if it was in high school, it still counts, right?” he initially plays off her question. Even if he told her the true reason behind his behavior, would she believe him? “I’m not waiting for anyone, just thought I’d spend some time with myself”, in a very literal sense, “even if I am a bit on edge, how could you help me out?” It’s a rhetorical question, he expects her to offer him another coffee, a pastry, or another meeting perhaps, but nothing can truly help him in this situation. It’s all just distractions until the next day. 

[aworidwithout]

FYI: In the upcoming days, i’m going to use this blog for just Haru threads. I’ll move to another blog for multi-muse and will follow ppl from there. If we have a thread with my other muses, feel free to still reply to this blog and I will start a new thread on the new blog instead. 

[hymmsofangel]

ー “Wilted Yellow Flower” ft. Naeun & Haru. ( @aworidwithout )

A drabble dedicated to Naeun's happier and youthful days. Of broken love and dreams. 🌷 I apologize to Haru's mun If this is so sudden but I realized they had the right dynamic to be able to explore and see the side of Naeun that was happy during her junior high days. And also thank you for your muse 🤗

“Back then, I didn't know that the happy days were only temporary. 

That the smiles we carried side by side will become nothing but a fleeting memory, 

even though we were so young.”

She wasn't a particularly 'good' student who listened dutifully to the teacher in front, mostly spending her time  looking out the field where some players played, her cheeks resting on the palm of her hand as her focus waned. Her expression was a share of boredom and sleepiness, the latter became obvious as her mouth opened wide with her usual loud yawn. It wasn't left unnoticed as the teacher lightly hit her head with the stick that earned a whole laugh from the class. 

That was her presence. She made everyone laugh and smile with her. She had a decent amount of friends. And more importantly she had him. 

The students went their separate ways like a flow of water dispersing from a small opening as soon as the last class was over. Their hall was abuzz with chatter until everyone had gone to their after school activities. 

A whiff of her lemon fragrance sways along her hair as a cold breeze passed them by. She furtively glanced over to see his face, the face she loved looking at the most back then, like an in love foolish couple they were. 

“I'm going to study hard.” The lady says with a firm determination but the reason is obvious, and he caught on to her intentions quickly. 

“For the allowance.” 

“That's right. I mean”, Naeun peers at him from the side, “Weren't you telling me about hanging out this summer? I have to save up for it.”

“Right, right. So are you aiming for the top?” 

“Not really, a little over the passing grade is fine. All this studying won't really do me any good once I become..” Her head inclines to the right, looking up at the blue sky that loomed over them that day, bright and spring-like. She made a circular form with both her arms opened wide, emphasizing on her goal to become big someday, her grin went from ear to ear with pride. “When I become a worldwide known actress someday.” 

“Heh, then I'll become a famous animator, too.” 

She snickers, “With your doodles?”

“Yah! What does that even mean!” 

“Nothing, nothing. But let's do it. Let's make this dream come true. I better be the first actress you think of for the live-action version, okay?” 

Their laughter ringed in each other's ears that day. 

And as she revisited the memory of the last letter she wrote for him as a foolish kid, she realized that it was a laughter that was no longer in this world. 

Not in his, not in hers.

“If I'm allowed to send one last letter before we part, 

I hope you can live the dream you longed for. 

Achieve it for me.” 

[aworidwithout]

Starter | @solitvrs

Her relationship with law is like a pendulum, she’s swayed back and forth on one end or the other depending on the case, but the middle–the foundation–of her beliefs stays the same. The law is here to provide justice, even if what she perceives as justice is not in line with her firm. The Choi Firm is famous for corporate law cases, defending corporate giants from embezzlement to HR lawsuits. Enough 0’s on the check and the firm would do anything to get even the greediest lowlifes acquitted. She’s worked here long enough to become familiar with unethical means of gathering information, leaking inaccurate information to the press, and not disclosing the whole truth to jurors. All of this knowledge gained from being a paralegal. She swings one end of the pendulum to set it in motion as a reminder that no matter how she starts and how it ends, the inside remains the same. 

But her boss says she’s unfocused when he catches her in thought. It’s not true. It was only a moment of self-reflection before he dumped a stack of folders on her desk. Damn, she’s tired. She’s slept enough hours to count on one hand. She begins to flip through the folder with her highlighter in hand, but the first page grabs her attention. She searches the name on her laptop to verify the company and she could very well believe it’s Jinwoo’s company–if you could call it a legit one. But of course, she has no hard evidence to say so, it’s a feeling but one that just won’t go away.

She makes a copy of the first few pages of the document then organizes it in the back of her “Jinwoo Folder”. He was her next stop that evening and owed her intel that was past due. Plus, this new case would pique some interest in him. Her fingers tap against her phone, rather forcefully. It’s a form of de-stressing just like squeezing a stress ball.

[To Jinwoo → ✉: Where are you?]

[To Jinwoo → ✉: We need to meet now.]

[To Jinwoo → ✉: Meet me at 12 Myeongdong 9-gil, Jung-gu.]

[To Jinwoo → ✉: 20 minutes.]

[uroborosymphony]

Ruby & Haru & Reiko

@AWORIDWITHOUT & @OKYOKAI ⬩ 1 MARCH 2023 

The grass is tall and the sun, high. The end of the afternoon is tranquil, ideal for the fox who does adore the spring. In her white dress, she is leading the way on her yellow bicycle, a hat and her heart sunglases on, followed by Haru riding a black one, on the paths of dirt, grass and flowers. The distance between their apartment and Reiko's isn't too much of a grand one. "She lives over there!" Speaks Ruby, pointing the direction accross the river, turning around to glance at Haru, as they will then have to cross the bridge. Ruby has a good feeling today, hoping it would change Haru's mindset if perhaps they do find the answers he is looking for. The fox couldn't believe what was happening to him had no cure : objects and concepts disappearing from Earth in order for him to live longer sounded more like an abnormality due to his mere existence. Her hypothesis was that perhaps, he was no longer human after crossing paths with the devil and that, maybe, by figuring out what he has been turned into, they would be able to feed him properly, handle his new nature properly and stop the odd phenomenons his presence was causing on the world. It was something she tried to explain to him, the other day, after their restaurant escapade yet the man seemed skeptical, Ruby had to insist for him to follow her here. Once they reached their destination, she jumps off her bike, letting it hit the ground as they are now standing near Reiko's building. "I'm convinced she will be able to help us. She is the only human I've met so far who is aware there is more to this world that what our eyes can see," Announces Ruby, a gentle smile on her lips. For the occasion, the two bought buns put in a basket, one Haru was carrying as of course Princess Ruby is too lazy to carry anything. "Come oon, I promise it will go well, I've already told her about you, she expects us... And if she doesn't know to answer our questions, it's okay, there are other ways to look for them, yes?" The fox adds, grabbing Haru by the hand and dragging him to Reiko's door before she gives three knocks on the wood. As soon as the door opens, Ruby's grin widens. "Hey lovely," She speaks with this endearment she has developped for Reiko. "I brought Haru with me and as promised, a basket of fresh and warm buns too."

[aworidwithout]

In Ruby’s mind, Haru has nothing else better to do than tag along with her to an unknown woman’s house on a sunny afternoon (which is partially true), but he could be at home cleaning, sleeping, and attempting to live a somewhat normal life as any other twenty-five year old man. The more he attempted to live a ‘normal’ life, the more real it seemed. 

But he is friends with Ruby and nothing has been ‘normal’ since. After their night out where he haphazardly followed her to the park after many drinks, he was convinced that this other being or life-changing form was only the alcohol speaking. The night ended with them wasting time in a public park, Ruby thinking she was in a magical forest, and Haru trying to keep his alcohol down. All to say, he isn’t hopeful about this encounter after the last one. 

He parks his bike alongside the house once they arrive. Ruby spoke about her friend, a young girl who was still in grade school–yes, grade school. The more he thought of what Ruby said about her friend, the slimmer the likelihood of this friend helping him. “Ruby, you said she was a high-schooler. Are you sure this is the same girl who knows more about the world than the creator itself?” She should be doing math homework right now instead of entertaining Ruby’s theories. But he keeps the last part of the thought to himself. Although his mind is full of doubt, he keeps the door cracked open on the small chance they surprise him. 

Haru holds the basket of treats in his arms when the door opens and he meets her friend for the first time. She looks close to how he pictures her thanks to Ruby’s descriptions. “You look great at math,” his thoughts slip from his mouth before he greets her with a bow, hoping to hide his face tinted with embarrassment. He gives her the basket shortly afterwards as a gift from them both, “It’s nice to meet you. I’m eager to hear what Ruby’s said about me though. I hope it’s all positive.”

[uroborosymphony]

"Don't you seem more and more distracted these days? Could it be Mister has found himself a girlfriend? I have seen her, the woman in black, she won't replace me now, will she? Reina's servant-Haru isn't a title I'm willing to give up on just yet, I want all the honey for myself."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀→ @AWORIDWITHOUT

⠀

[aworidwithout]

“Reina you’re being annoying and nosy–” he pours boiling water on the tea leaves that sit in the strainer on top of their cups. Once it’s seeped enough, he removes the strainer and places the cup in front of his roommate. “Drink this instead, it’ll calm you down because I slipped a sleeping pill in it,” he’s joking, but takes it a step further, “but are you really worried? You’re my roommate so you shouldn’t be worried unless you’re also in love with me.” He’s having too much fun testing her, “does the woman in black look like a witch to you because she’s dressed in all black? Or more like a nun? What are you thinking?”

[aworidwithout]

Seeing you on my dash again makes me SO happy come back to us❤️

aw thanks for thinking of me, you're the best 😭 i'm also happy to see you back on the dash whenever i pop in!

[hymmsofangel]

✤ @aworidwithout sent: ❝ the last thing i remember--i was walking outside feeling a mixture of rage, pity and self-disgust. ❞ from Wednesday starters.

That's pretty normal, she thinks, it's a sight she often sees after people have gone outside the company. It varies, however, depending on the person. What could have Haru seen for him to feel these things? Has he done something in the past that caused him deep regret and anger? She would never know, it's a chapter where their lives have gone parallel. “I see.” Naeun gives him a weak smile, perhaps out of worry as Haru sits on the hospital bed. She had to call the emergency upon seeing him faint, luckily, just a few blocks outside of the café and she was on her way home. “How about now, are you feeling better? You fainted near the café. If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. But for now,” The barista finally sits down again on the chair by the bedside, realizing that she abruptly stood up earlier upon seeing Haru wake up, “Is there something you'd like to eat?”

[aworidwithout]

Despite wanting to feel like his best self, he feels like his worst. His energy is depleted and he looks completely disheveled after waking up in a hospital of all places. He takes a moment to remember how he ended up here, what he did before, and how he felt. Those thoughts and actions are something he’d rather not disclose to his highschool classmate now, but he’s grateful someone’s here. 

He stays on the side of the bed and listens to her speak of how his normal day ended up as one in the hospital. “I feel okay, but a bit fatigued. Luck seems to be on my side since you were around.” It’s difficult for him to find the right words, and truthfully, he doesn’t want to talk about it. The past is the past for a reason, it’s meant to be let go whether he found closure or not. There are many chapters in his life that end abruptly or are just plain anticlimactic. It’s nothing to trouble her with. “Sure, but something that’s not hospital food. I’m ready to get out of here. I feel fine, really.”

[aworidwithout]

Semi-hiatus: I’m back to work and school, so my thread replies and dm replies will be slow moving forward. Thanks to everyone who is writing w/ me tho! 

[aworidwithout]

Semi-hiatus Update 2/12: Work and classes are killing me but I'm still here :) I’m slowly responding to threads, thanks for still writing w/ me although i’m taking forever.

[aworidwithout]

phantombs​:

The impending decision between life and death… How odd a thought for someone who’d no choice at all. In fact, with the foul and restless skies sputtering madly away, most would tell him this world was goading him. He’d only so many summers, so many springs left to love, and still, it crashes, this miserable, grey morning. Yes, the skies loose a cackle, and his windowpanes quake.

But then, even amidst hell and fury both, isn’t there still something beautiful to admire?

Cường, their haunted gardener, was known to believe so. Because — well, he’s him. He doesn’t look up again for a few moments time, fussing over a particularly great brew, and only chases away the quiet dripping of his visitor when his kettle whines. At last, they lock eyes. “It’s lemon tea,” he says.

He slides the teacup down the counter. Mr. Soaked and Doomed pours rain just standing there, expression gobsmacked, and Cường’s brow perks. Look at that! He’s onto you, the ghosts tease. He grabs a towel behind him for his guest to use, and offering it without fanfare, ignores their death-heavy air. “You should be more than grateful with how I’m letting you flood my store the way you are, but I’m patient. We can start with grateful,” he jokes blandly. They smile. He has honey to offer them should their palate desire it, and he reckons it’ll complement them well. “I don’t close for the same reason I imagine you can’t waste precious time: I can’t afford to. I’m a hardworking man, but not a very rich one. Maybe in personality, sure, but not much else.” Funny. The storm yowls, and inside, the flowers and low shelves jostle. “Now, were you headed somewhere, or did your precious time include soaking in the sights?” Literally? “Either you are sick or a romantic. I don’t know which is worse.”

This owner has a point. If he was closed, Haru would fight his way through a heavy rain storm, practically swimming in puddles up to his ankles, raindrops the size of pebbles hitting his face. Instead, he’s creating his swimming pool right inside this little medicine shop. He takes the towel and shows his thanks. He takes off his raincoat and proceeds to dry off, starting with his face. The towel has an earthy and comforting scent, but he’s unable to put it into words. “Ah, sorry for the puddle–but no wet floor signs needed, no one else is walking through the door in that weather” one bad joke deserves another. 

He takes a seat and wraps his hands around the mug, the warmth being another sign of comfort. The way they thought about precious time was different, but weather being an obstacle for how they spent their time remained an absolute truth. “Rich in personality and money, that would be the life. Maybe rich in good looks too–all three and nothing’s stopping you in this life.”, there’s nothing like small talk in a foreign country while drinking tea in a hole-in-the-wall medicine shop. It's one unpredictable moment he can cross off the list before he’s six fit under. 

He spoons honey into his tea, stirring the thick liquid around until combined. “Ah come-on being a romantic has a better tone to it. Jane Austen would kill to write a scene like you just witnessed.” The truth was he was less of a romantic, but he’s not sick either. It’s a mix of remorsefulness and yearning, with a dash of desperation. But even that doesn’t describe exactly how he’s feeling. He can barely put it in words for himself, let alone tell a stranger. Haru tries to change the focus from him. “What about you? Sounds pretty romantic to have a unique medicine shop, boiling water in an antique looking kettle, waiting for just the right person to walk through the doors to provide salvation while mother nature shows her power. Don’t you think so? Either that or, like you said, it’s all about the money.”

[temporalobjects]

a starter for @aworidwithout feat. eshu & haru

"You're just holding a little silver fork. No, I'm serious! Just imagine it. A little silver fork with your china plate, yeah, that one with pink flowers on it." A little wink, indicating he did own one of those himself. The professor's anecdotes and 'thought experiments' were often a bit long winded, but the audience didn't seem to mind playing along. Especially not his students, faithful enough to attend one of these public lectures on a Friday afternoon rather than getting back to their dorms early to draw on glitter eyeliner and pull on high heels to greet a night of partying.

Because Eshu was charming, of course. And he had this way of knowing what he was talking about without being too uppity about it. "Anyway!" The interjection to his own story brought a ripple of laughter through the rows of seats. "Suddenly, none of that seems to make sense anymore. Why the little silver fork and the little plate? Why tea and cake at 3pm? Where are you sitting... your home? But why do you suddenly feel like an alien between your own four walls.

"But you can't quite put your finger on it. This sense of dread that has no apparent source. Could you call it anxiety? Maybe... but maybe it's more than that. An existential state of Dasein where meaning altogether falls away. The familiar becomes unfamiliar when you come to realise that the web of meaning that holds your world together was constructed by Dasein. No, actually bestowed upon a historical community of Dasein, so even that, you have no apparent control over.

"The existential state he calls, unheimlich, or uncanniness. You might see it as a kind of... turning point?" Eshu emphasised the word by kicking off the spot to rotate a full circle, if only to raise a few more laughs. "Where meaning falls away, do you decide to confront it head on? Or do you once against lapse into the comfort of Das man, to go about life as 'one' normally does, sipping at your tea and having your little cake in the afternoon again?"

[aworidwithout]

How Haru ended up in a public lecture hall was self-explanatory, but why lended itself to another story. He’d seen a few people speak of past lectures, some open to the public and others restricted to the university. He would attend one as a “cross-off my bucket list” kind-of-event before he passed, but the more he researched the speaker and the subject matter, he grew more intrigued. He thought of Philosophy to be a waning subject, but to think that there were people who thought about human existence and what it means to be a part of this world for a living amazed him. 

That’s how he ended up in a middle row, third seat from the left of the aisle. But the question of why lingered over him. Why was he looking for some kind of justification to continue living at the expense of worldly things? Why did he feel compelled to find some kind knowledge about what comes after death? Why did misfortune choose him? It’s because death is now familiar which he thought was a cop out answer, but here, he may find answers to his whys. 

Dasein – Haru hung on each sentence that included the word, his head hurt, but he continued to listen. He listened in an attempt to apply this “philosophy” to his life, even if it’s just for the evening. There was something in that word, in the thought that maybe since birth he’s been in this state called Dasein. Was that right? Without this Daesin, am I just an empty shell? If so, dying would be easier. 

Haru raised his hand albeit timidly, unfamiliar with lecture-room etiquette. “If I choose Des man, does this mean that my life goes on in a set of predetermined steps? Uh–” he thought through his question as he spoke it “For example, if I continue my same mundane routine, am I in this state of ‘Dasein’. And if I break from this routine for a life with meaning, am I still in ‘Dasein’ but better?” 

Truthfully, the question sounded better in his head. Haru had this urgency, this willingness to live but he asked himself why? If there was little meaning to him waking up five days a week at 7am and returning home at 7pm, repeating these societal expectations of living, then why was he so desperate to continue?

[aworidwithout]

Semi-hiatus: I’m back to work and school, so my thread replies and dm replies will be slow moving forward. Thanks to everyone who is writing w/ me tho!