A Writer's Feelings

Just a space to portray my bottled up stories.

[awritersfeelings]

Still thinking about you!!

[awritersfeelings]

Do you love me truely?

More like a present tense right, should I ask

Did you ever love me truely?

I'm filled with questions with no answer to be found.

If only would I have known that we weren't meant to be the end game, things might have been different don't you think.

Are people really capable of living with ones memory and call it a relationship, because thats what I did for the past 8 years and counting.

We endured so much of hardships together for what?

If we were a lesson before our own endgame what did we learn from eachother?

Even if we became endgame in this life, will we be together forever until black turns gray?

There is no such guarantee right. After I lost you I'm having the fear of losing you. Is it really possible?

I know I'm just randomly ranting stuffs out, but what can I do? My minds seems to be like a mess right now.

#jorants

[awritersfeelings]

How can I make this pain go away?

How can ever be the same again?

How can this matter much more than my life?

Since we quit I've never felt alive.

Lost in your thoughts all the time,

Wish I was your's in this life.

Maybe you are better off without me,

I'm just too blind to see.

Meet me in my grave

With memories that doesn't wither away!

#jothoughts #firstlove

[awritersfeelings]

It's been years and I'm still genuinely sad about our parting.

Does this make me a fool or is it human to be this way?

I need answers but I'm too

Old fashioned for this world maybe.

#jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

There certain types of instances that can trigger a persons memory. My million neurons "Froze" the moment I smelled cigarettes. There were flash forwarding memories in front of my eyes. I could barely move. All I could feel at that moment was you. And I was angry and sad at the same time coz its the cigarette (the thing that I hate most) gave me the sense of your presence. I barely moved, all I could think about is you, I missed you, I hated you, I wished to see you.

#cigarettes #jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

I just went through our messages, the page I'm to broken to open. I did. And maybe I'm glad I did.

But going through them again, what did you feel, genuinely?

I felt a rush of emotions.

It's painful🙁

#jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

I will forever be in love with the version of him I met.

That's maybe not gonna change, ever.

#jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

[awritersfeelings]

Maybe..

There million others reasons as well...

#jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

At this point in life I've realised that you can never have it all.

You choose some and loose some.

You can be in love so much to death just to life do you apart.

Or you be in love so close but death do us apart.

I've been wondering there are indeed no happy endings.

Just beautiful memories and lessons,

That's the flash of reel you need when you rewind.

#Jothoughts

[awritersfeelings]

Now I know why I left!

I did not feel 'Loved' for such a long time

Coz 'Love' meant him

He was the form of 'Love' for me

And he was 'nowhere' around here to be felt.

All I felt was 'His Absence'

#Joquotes

[awritersfeelings]

[awritersfeelings]

Just imagining those thousand scenarios playing in my head,

When our eyes meet,

We greet,

One of us will be swept of the feet,

Or it will be love retreat.

Is he mine, I'm always his,

Sealing this gap with a kiss.

Loved eachother in all shades,

Finding B&W in the grey.

Love songs played in tears,

Denial is my biggest fear.

One last hug to death,

Over my last breath.

#Joquotes

[awritersfeelings]

In loop🔁

Kadhal kadaiku kaneer vendum

[awritersfeelings]

This is madness

I still

LOVE HIM

[awritersfeelings]

I'm hurt,

Mostly because I love him

He's hurt?

Doesn't seems that way

I've seen him sweep of my feet in love

But now he is....

Kishore,

Oru thodarkadhai

[awritersfeelings]

Panic strikes!!!