Start 'Em Up

Axel Fabray - 35 - picture cars mechanic

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Text || Staxel

Stells: Don't get too used to it though. I didn't like using it, but pretty sure just saying that word got me on the "Naughty List" this year.

Axel: I live on the naughty list. It's more fun

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Text || Staxel

Stells: Know what? If he can't accept you the way you are, then... Honestly... Just fuck him.

Axel: Wow, in the same text you managed to say something against Russel AND say fuck. I'm so proud.

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Text || Staxel

Axel: We didn't meet the Fabray standard.

Stells: Well it's not like I've exactly been meeting his standards either lately.

Axel: You're still better than I will ever be in his eyes. I'll never be the son he wants. Ever. No matter who I marry. Because it will always be a man.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: Yeah, I know. I wish it wasn't though. Dad was an idiot for kicking you out, and Quinn too when she was pregnant.

Stells: I am too! -_-

Stells: What? It's true.

Axel: We didn't meet the Fabray standard.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: I don't blame you though. They're definitely not everyone's taste.

Stells: Thanks for finally agreeing with me that I'm the more charming one :)

Stells: Awesome! I'll dig through my albums and see what I can find!

Axel: It's a little more than that, Stells.

Axel: You are not the more charming one, I never said that.

Axel: Oh boy.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: Very true! If he can survive them, he can survive anything.

Stells: Hey, maybe that's just part of what makes me more charming over you!

Stells: No, because he didn't run off scared when I said that, you dork.

Stells: Boo. What about pictures? I might even have a loose one laying around somewhere we could burn!

Axel: He's a better man than me. I can't survive them.

Axel: Sure, totally.

Axel: Ohh.

Axel: If you find one, we can burn it, but I burned all of them. Even the really nice one from Aspen.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: You say that as if we screw up a lot. :p

Stells: Please. You think you can out charm me? In your dreams maybe!

Stells: Honestly though, that was kind of my first sign that he rally could be "the one."

Stells: Do you have any more of his stuff you can burn? I kinda want to taste one of these Dead Marriage Flamed s'mores now.

Axel: He suffered dinner with Mom and Dad... dude can handle us.

Axel: One - I don't tell fart stories, Two - I don't use 'poopy poop face' as an insult. Three - I am insanely charming.

Axel: What? Because he paid attention to you and not me?

Axel: Nah, sadly I had one box and I burned it all.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: With the way this mouth has been, you might not want to hope too much.

Stells: Tbh though, I'm just shocked I didn't scare him off with that damn fart story when we met! That's the kind of stuff that happens when you leave me unsupervised, Axel!

Stells: Fair, schmair

Stells: Wow. I'm proud of you. S'mores is just the icing on that beautiful cake :))

Axel: Ehh, he's a big boy. He'll get over it. He knows how Fabray's are.

Axel: I am honestly shocked too. Well, me sticking around wouldn't have worked. I would have charmed him too much, and you would have been totally ignored. :P

Axel: It was cathartic. S'mores cooked with the flames of dead marriages taste good

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Text || Staxel

Stells: You're ridiculous.

Stells: Debatable because there's still a lot of em lingering around in there.

Stells: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You can't prove anything! :p

Axel: Forgive me for wanting one fairytale in the Fabray family.

Axel: Eh, you'll work through em.

Axel: that's just not fair.

Axel: I burnt all of his shit. His hoodie, the pictures... it's all burnt. And then I made s'mores.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: You're not going to let the idea of Zach and I go, are you?

Stells: The amount of time I spent doing it probably wasn't too healthy though. Remember in Legally Blonde when Warner dumped Elle? That was me.

Stells: Come on! It'll be fun! Me and you together! We can make our own Lonely Hearts Club or whatever!

Axel: Nah, I'm really not.

Axel: Yeah, but you felt all your feelings and that was good.

Axel: You did not just use the Beatles against me.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: I hardly think my drunken stupor counts as dialogue, but okay, I'll humor you. I did tell him I love him though. And they do say that drunken words are sober thoughts... I don't remember saying thanks...

Stells: Oh, but it was so far from healthy, bro.

Stells: Oh, Axel. I just want to hug you right now. I'll keep you distracted when you come home with all kinds of fun things to do. How's that sound?

Axel: Hey, it's progress.

Axel: Crying it out? That's super healthy. I haven't cried much....I probably should.

Axel: Yeah. Maybe. I'm just... I don't know. I haven't been alone for so long.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: Yeah, but only because you're friends with him, you goof. Last night was the first time I actually talked to him though since we broke up.

Stells: If by calm down you mean cry my eyes out, hiding out in my old bedroom? Then yeah. That's exactly what I did.

Stells: Well forget Scott. I never liked him anyways. Someone that doesn't appreciate you isn't okay in my books. If you change your mind though, let me know, okay?

Axel: Yeah, but you started the dialogue, even though you were drunk. If you still love him, and you think he's worth it, that's the first step. You're welcome for me keeping him around.

Axel: Hey, that sounds super healthy. I mean that.

Axel: He was good at the beginning. He was an incredible boyfriend and husband at first... Fuck. I was so in love with him, Stells. I still love him. I'm not sure how ready I am for Christmas without him. Yeah, I will, but... not sure it's worth it. At least, not for me.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: You might not see that as something healthy, but I do. I think it's great that you're finally doing that. Hell, I don't even have the heart to return the few things of his that got left here at my place.

Stells: Well, Utah was sort of my only option. I definitely wasn't going to stay in New York and just be reminded to the mistake I had made, and I definitely wasn't going to return to LA and risk seeing him somewhere or seeing something or someone that reminds me of him. So, Utah it was. Somewhere far enough away that I knew nothing would remind me of him. Though I did maybe have to break the glass on one of the photo frames I got for Mom because she had a photo of him and I in it...

Stells: Oh, Ax. You'll find someone. You did it for me, so how about I return the favor one day? I'll set you up with someone!

Axel: It's healthy NOW, but it wasn't for months. Eh, you still talk to Zach though. He's still in your life, and I think he always will be regardless. I haven't spoken to Scott since we signed the papers.

Axel: Being able to escape was probably good, it gave you time to calm down and breathe and figure shit out.

Axel: I... don't know if I want to anymore. I spent 12 years being an amazing husband to someone who slowly stopped giving a shit and stopped appreciating me. I'm not sure I want to do that again. Might just... go back to my old ways.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: No, you're not.

Stells: You make it look easy though. Seriously. I do understand though. Obviously, you know I got wine drunk last night. I stayed hidden away in Utah for almost a month, I haven't been eating as much, I pretty much stayed home when I wasn't in rehearsals for the show. I know how to put on an act when I need to.

Axel: Yeah, because I've kept most of this shit to myself, I don't deal with it in public places or on public forums. So, to the world, I'm going through a break up and handling it well, but when I'm alone, it's not the same thing. I just started a fire in my backyard fire pit so I could FINALLY burn the box of his shit I still have. I'm not handling it as well as I appear to be.

Axel: I'm glad you had somewhere to hide out... I didn't. I can't go back to Utah, I had nowhere to go. Instead I worked, a lot, and went to industry events where I had to see him. I couldn't hide out.

Axel: Plus, you and Zach still have a chance. It may not feel like it right now, but you do. I lost almost all my 20s and half of my thirties to a one-sided marriage, and I'll never get that time back.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: You're not emotionally stunted.

Stells: You make it sound so easy, Ax

Axel: Little bit.

Axel: Trust me, it's not easy. It's hard as fuck. I've been drinking more, unless I'm working, I don't sleep as much, I haven't been taking care of myself. Nothing about a divorce is easy, unless you were fighting a lot and it made sense. I'm only now starting to actually accept everything, get angry at Scott for everything he took from me, and starting to heal. 6 months later. But you're strong. And no matter what happens, you will survive.

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text -- zax

Zachary: He wasn't.

Zachary: You're right, do it now. We can hang in Atlanta once it's all dead and gone.

Axel: Tell 25 year old me that. I was so in love.

Axel: The box is huge. I still have shirts, hell, one of his jocks is in this damn box.

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Text || Staxel

Stells: What do you expect? I'm a girl. We think emotionally 98% of the time.

Stells: I know, I know, I know. What if I decide to go all in though, end whatever my thing is with Teddy, and he rejects me? Huh?

Axel: Not all girls. Just like not all guys are emotionally stunted. I am, but not all guys are.

Axel: I highly doubt he's going to reject you, Stella. But you need to prove to him that you're in it, all in. But first... let things settle, think about it, figure shit out. Wait until he's at least back in LA.