axleaj16

“Do you think I’m weird?” “Definitely” “No man, seriously, am I weird?”  “Yeah but so what? Everybody’s weird”  Chris Chambers & Gordie Lachance | Stand by Me (1986)

[irreparableteacup]

i only like enemies to lovers if it’s gay because i think men who are mean to women don’t deserve to live

[axleaj1126]

Y know what? Hell yeah ig

[axleaj1126]

“Do you think if you didn’t get pregnant years ago you would’ve had kids now?” I asked my mom as I looked up from my phone

“There’s no way” you said while laughing, you didn’t even look up from your phone mom…

When you realized I was looking at you, hurt, and silent

You shrugged and rolled your eyes, like I was a burden just for asking that.

“Fine Alexa, yes I would’ve loved to be a mother by now, happy?” you asked me sarcastically and I… I smiled for you, for you to think it was okay.

I’m sure you love me mom, and that all of the things you do are because you love me, but I don’t think you like me, you don’t like the person I’ve become, always saying stuff that you want me to be the better version of myself because you love me and you want what’s best for me, but what if this is the best version of myself? what if this is the person that my friends love? What if this is person I consider that also deserves love mom?

[axleaj1126]

MOMMY DEAREST

Mom, please, look me in the eye and tell me it’s a lie.

That what you’re saying to me isn’t true, that you do love me with all your life.

That I’m not difficult to love but that you’re just mad.

Hold me in your arms and let me cry like a little child.

Look at me with those eyes that once were full of love and affection.

Hug me once more mom, I’m just asking that.

Ask me how my day went, don’t just ignore me.

Mom, I’m dying and you don’t even realize that, I’m dying on the inside and you just look at me like I’m a burden on your path.

Mom please, love me once more like you used to do.

I’m falling apart in front of you and you blame be and tell me to pick the pieces I left behind.

Would you really be happy if I disappeared from your life? You really wouldn’t care if I hate you?

But I could never hate you mommy, even if sometimes I feel like you do hate me.

Please mommy, just love me one more time.

[lovingkarylol]

Papá,

Tómame de la mano cuando de mis primeros pasos.

Tómame de la mano cuando apoye mis piesitos en tus zapatos, danzando frente a la televisión.

Tómame de la mano cuando llore entre nervios por haber tirado ese jarrón.

Tómame de la mano cuando tiemble de nervios por mi primer examen de admisión.

Tómame de la mano cuando mi mente se nuble y forme una tensión.

Tómame de la mano cuando vaya hacia el altar, pero se fuerte para no llorar. Porque será el día que me soltarás.

Aunque yo lloraré más el día que seré yo quien tomará con fuerza tu mano, pidiendo que te quedes un rato más en este plano.

[axleaj1126]

My mother and father

I have my mother’s anger and my father’s avoidance.

Both of them are constantly at war on my mind, but they don’t know that.

When they see me, my father sees my mother and my mother sees my father.

I’ll always be that reminded of each other. And deep down I know they resent me for it.

My mother rolls her eyes every time I talk like my dad.

My father gets quiet and avoidant whenever I laugh or make faces like my mother, even when I get angry like her.

My mother resents me cause I act like my father, and my father resents me cause I look like my mother.

[axleaj1126]

God, are you there?

The first time I questioned God was when I was told I needed surgery for my legs.

I couldn’t understand why, if he was the almighty why? Why couldn’t he spare me my burdens? I’ve been good, I’ve been really good all my life.

The second time I questioned God was when I was told I had a malfunction in my genes, making me impossible to do all the things I wanted to do.

By the third time I questioned God, I realized I’ve been questioning him all my life. But you don’t realize at first, ‘cause you’re a kid.

I’ve been questioning God all my life, from the moment I experienced death of a loved one to this day, this present day when the world around me is full of death and wars and bad people.

So I wrote my own “book”, if he can, why can’t us humans do the same?

I’ve lived by my own rules as a child, thought myself how to be a good person.

“Are you Christian or catholic?”

“I’m not sure” I would answer, at first I didn’t agree with the church, or the bible, or the people… or just God at all.

[axleaj1126]

Cuando muera y los insectos lleguen y prueben mi corazón.

Probaran todo el amor y cariño que llegue a sentir por todos en mi vida.

Cuando lleguen a mi cerebro probarán cosas que nunca antes han probado.

Tanto conocimiento acumulado que no sabrán que hacer con el.

Cuando lleguen a mis cuerdas vocales se alegrarán.

Probando todos los chistes y risas que algún día llegue a soltar.

Pero cuando lleguen a mis piernas y caderas probarán lo más podrido que te puedas imaginar.

Un sabor ácido, metálico, y fuerte.

Un sabor enfermo.