a smooth criminal

The name's Phillip Moore. I'm whatever you need me to be at the time.

[halebentderek]

Probably more than I’m aware of. Surely more to come.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Fair enough. Poor choice of words on my behalf. So let me rephrase that: How many are you aware that he killed?

[nathanielblake-deactivated20140]

…. Why do you always bribe me with food?

[axsmoothcriminal]

Food always makes me feel better, and it seems like you need to feel better.

[halebentderek]

That’s the thing… anger doesn’t dictate my actions. Anger is what keeps me calm. No one would miss a killer like him.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Someone might. Who has he killed?

[halebentderek]

No. I’m pretty sure there isn’t.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Calm down. Take a deep breath. You're not a killer. There are too many ramifications for that, the first and foremost being that you're letting rage dictate what decisions you make.

[halebentderek]

Seems someone in this town has a death wish. One I’ll gladly grant.

[axsmoothcriminal]

... Death threats are kind of harsh, man. Whatever's going on, I'm pretty sure there are other alternatives.

[nathanielblake-deactivated20140]

Out of all the mistakes I’ve made. I’m pretty sure I am going to regret this one the most.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Hey -- you're too young to be so worried about mistakes. Give it some time. It'll sort itself out. In the meantime, let's get you some ice cream. That always helps me feel better.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Today sucks.

[notcrazyithink]

Really? Most people find it common. Phil is not a bad name.

[axsmoothcriminal]

It's not so common anymore. Maybe when I was growing up. And it's cool until people start calling you Doctor Phil.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Today sucks.

[notcrazyithink]

Oliver. What’s your name?

[axsmoothcriminal]

Oliver. That's a cool name. I like that name. The name's Phillip. You can call me Phil.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Today sucks.

[notcrazyithink]

Want to talk about it?

[axsmoothcriminal]

I -- Nah. It's cool. But thanks for the offer. I didn't get your name.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Today sucks.

[notcrazyithink]

What about a burger?

[axsmoothcriminal]

I don't think that'll work, either. But thank you for the suggestion, man. I appreciate it.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Today sucks.

Not even Cheerios will make me cheery.

[carnivorouscoyote]

Three things I missed the most while in the hippie camp?

[carnivorouscoyote]

Yeah that does not sound like fun at ALL.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Well, neither does being deprived of your favorite foods. I hope you get enough of it all to last you a lifetime.

[carnivorouscoyote]

Three things I missed the most while in the hippie camp?

[carnivorouscoyote]

What kind of milkshakes have you been drinking??

[axsmoothcriminal]

The kind a lactose intolerant person shouldn't be drinking.

[axsmoothcriminal]

I got a pocket

Got a pocket full of sunshine -- ... I forgot the words to this song, whoa. Ooh oh~.

Take me away! Shake and bake! We'll get a room and masturbATE~.

[carnivorouscoyote]

Three things I missed the most while in the hippie camp?

[carnivorouscoyote]

Sorry, I’ve been basically eating grass compared to all this glorious processed food. So I think it is deeeelicious.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Well, if that tickles your pickle, then that's fine. Last time I had a milkshake, it was traumatic enough to make me swear off them forever.

Ah. Memories.

[carnivorouscoyote]

Three things I missed the most while in the hippie camp?

That is easy. Milkshakes, burgers and pie.

[axsmoothcriminal]

... That actually sounds pretty gross.

[nathanielblake-deactivated20140]

You don’t need to bribe me with anything. Friendship is… a fickle word with me.

[axsmoothcriminal]

Maybe the word itself, but what about the sentiment behind it?