mine o graphy . @ayasukeane - Tumblr Blog

stronger people live longer

What I just simply thought after the dead of Fidel Castro. I think that what you make yourself look, would effects what inside you. Some case surround me shows that people who intend to make themselves feel sadness and spread it instantly will easily get sick, their body reacts to what their feels and thinking. I also remember Soeharto, he was strong, strong enough to lead a country for more than 30years, and he died in his eighties if I’m not mistaken.

What I’m trying to tell is not to make people have to be a president of a country, but I think by not showing you weak is as good as make yourself healthier-both body and life.

“I've been knocked down but I won’t be broken, I won’t be broken My spirit’s reeling, but my arms are open, I won’t be broken’’ - Keane

Music Saves Me

Especially my brain. Why? I had thought recently that I wouldn't had this brain if I didn't learn music. I don't say I'm so smart or brilliant, but I'm not dumb, but I think I should be dumber enough if I didn't learn music. I remember I had live to learn music since I could remember things. To learn not to be expert. I learn how it rhymes, flows and tune along with I learn how to write, calculate and even reads. I remember how I hardly spells in my writings but I already figures how to play basic chords on keyboards. I'm not the smartest one in class, but I could catch up without too much trouble, even though its hard to find myself studying. At least I enter one of the best campus in this country. It don't seems just study is enough without fun, in my condition fun means music or draw things. One of my aunt were strictly avoid her children to learn music because of her belief. So her children never touch music, yes I once argue about that and try to teach them piano, but my aunt says it brings only bad things. And now, HAHA! She was struggling enough to find her first daughter a better school because of her daughter's bad score on final exam. See what brings 'Bad' score now? Me, myself is only a bedroom player, I play it for myself this whole time. Its fine. Its like letting my brain works but in a different way. So even if I feel so tired and muddy, I could just spend a time to play and escape to the otherside. Some of my best friends who get into good school are into music, and they know well how to play it ('well' doesn't mean 'expert'). Don't expect to be expert in music, just try to learn it, feel it. I'm not an expert too, I just know that I feel happy to play it or sometimes sing along with it. Because life itself full of rhyme and tune, we gotta learn how to control it. Play the music, don't just listen to the music that plays. Run for your life, don't just go with the flows.

I don't dreams I design my life.. with a lot alternative design..

i miss just tee and short pants

Disini hari begitu rutin, jadi tak ada baik dan buruk, tak ada sedih tak ada bahagia, hambar. Kemarin hari penuh tangis dan kata menyakitkan, penuh air mata dan senyum untuk saling menguatkan. Kala malam tiap tidur berbagai cerita datang, disana aku sedih dan disana aku cari bahagia dengan cara terbaik yang dapat kulakukan, satu diantaranya bahkan kudapat dengan berbelanja. Ketika aku bangun aku sadar disini aku tak perlu dulu memikirkan sedih dan cara mencari bahagia. Tiap harinya hanya berdoa dengan khusyuk untuk kebahagiaan kami, menjalankan kewajiban masing2 dan saling mensupport dari jauh. Sedih itu masih ada ketika ingat kesalahan atas dasar keras kepala dan ego diri mengalahkan rasionalitas yang kemudian berdampak pada menyakiti org2 tersayang dan terdekat. Bahagia juga masih ada karena dipertahankan agar kelak dapat menutupi rasa sedih, menumbuhkan harapan dan mewarnai hidup.

dia bilang tadi, curang namanya kalo nyari bahagia ketempat lain sendiri, remember, happines only real when shared. iya, yuk cari sama-sama! :D

choice

Happiness is a choice, whether its right or wrong. I'm a kind of person who choose wrong to be happy. And sometimes in life we're being chosen, whether by the good or the bad. I feel like lately I've been chosen by the bad. I try to keep moving forward, feeling like I choose the right but then I feel unhappy. I can see the exit but it's too far away. Next to me, there's an emergency exit but I don't know where it heading. Realizing that I'm back to the circumstance, where I see clearly I'm on the right path, then the doubt leap from inside me. I hate being sad. I hate to cry. Even hatred grows rapidly without you noticing, like cancer. I don't wanna hate anyone, especially people around me, people I love. I might hate them for letting me sad. I might blame them either. I better take the emergency exit beside letting myself hate them. Yes, I could choose the wrong to be happy. Maybe not today, but there will be time. Being apart is a lot better then hurting each other just to keep together.

inferno

aku bukan untuk membahas isi karya Dan Brown yang mahsyur itu di sini, karena menurut seseorang aku sangat kurang mahir menceritakan kembali suatu cerita baik dari bentuk film atau tulisan, karena pula aku memang bermaksud lain dalam menuliskan ini. inferno adalah sebuah pelarian dua hari terakhir dikala lusinan film terlalu singkat untuk menjadi pelarian. ketika pikir dan tubuh ingin pergi sejenak ke suatu dunia cerita orang lain baik sedih, menyenangkan, menegangkan maupun inspiratif, untuk melupakan sejenak apa yang terjadi di dunia sungguhan. ya itu cuma judul. yang lain hanyalah cerita acak dariku.

"suatu yang ideal cuma ada di dalam pikiran kita, tapi tidak akan pernah dapat terjadi dikenyataan" kata-kata seorang seniman yang baru kukenal dua minggu lalu sungguh bijak dan benar. penyangkalan secara naluriah manusia hanya mengembangkan semua yang tidak ideal menjadi ideal, ataupun itu hanya menjadi ideal menurut mereka yang melihat dari sudut pandang ketiga. tidak mengerti? tentu saja karena aku memang tidak akan pernah informatif dan memberikan sajian menarik.

ada kalanya suatu saat (atau banyak saat) aku memutuskan untuk berhenti peduli dan berkasih terhadap seseorang, namun tidak untuknya. aku tidak bisa bahkan ketika diminta. kala aku merasa aku bisa melakukannya maka datanglah kala dimana wajah (bahkan hanya suara) nya menyirnakan kekuatanku untuk berhenti.

aku mengenal dia yang dulu dan yang sekarang sangat berbeda, namun tidak lebih baik dan tidak lebih buruk, hanya mengenalnya lebih jauh dan mengerti. bahkan ketika dia mengulang cerita masa remajanya untuk puluhan kalinya. bahkan ketika dia merutuki nasibnya. bahkan ketika dia bersikukuh lebih baik tidak bersama dan berubah pikiran tak lama kemudian. juga bahkan ketika dia berbagi yang tak pernah dibagikannya ke orang lain.

Knowing that love is to share Each one believing that love never dies Watching his eyes and hoping I'm always there I will be there and everywhere Here, there and everywhere

Here, There and Everywhere -The Beatles

may please come faster. i'm done with april. i do really am.

i lost something (or two). it was the worst of me that i couldn't imagine myself be worse. i had done so wrong so the guilt haunt me like it should so i feel at my lowest so the atmosphere curse and the universe told me not to use my magical happiness drop at myself for only heal the wound instead keep it open. yes so i could feel the pain and the sadness to makesure my sins flew along them.

never adore a man dancing but Thom Yorke

http://youtu.be/9ItBvH5J6ss

you're not even made of cancer but you're doing the same as Gus Waters does

I was so frustrated with him. "I just want to be enough for you, but I never can be. This can never get enough for you. But this is all you get. You get me, and your family, and this world. This is your life. I'm sorry if it sucks. But you're not going to be the first man on Mars, and you're not going to be an NBA star, and you're not going to hunt Nazis. I mean, look at yourself, Gus."

Chapter Seventeen, The Fault in Our Stars

letting myself get caught by a sudden hug from an asleep person, even in hurry i would just stuck there try not to wake him up, watch he sleep and try not to worry i would be late, gently try to move those arms but a tighter hug is the only i could get, now i could barely move, snoring and smiling at the same time he sleeping like a rock, it is warm here while outside is raining a little hard, so i decide to skip the day and just sleeping along

I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing

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