Baatuni Billi

Tall and Skinny | Indian | Designer | Artist | Singer | Stylist

[baatunibilli-blog]

Just Another Day

I keep four alarms at fifteen minute intervals starting at 7:30. Who doesn’t?

Sometimes my phone decides to not alarm me, sometimes I ignore the alarms. So it’s safe to keep four!

But the past few days I haven’t needed an alarm. Today was no different. Around 5:00am, I heard some heavy vehicles in my sleep. I ignored it. I’m a light sleeper but I’m stubborn as hell. So I will sleep even if some sounds disturb me. But then suddenly theres a loud crashing sound and I wake up with a start and a level 10 urgency to empty the bladder. I quickly run to the washroom, relieve myself and go to the balcony to check what all the commotion is about. Turns out someone had the bright idea to dump construction material on the road side that time in the morning. But hey, I’m stubborn! So I go back to sleep. Only to wake up to a conference of pigeons happening in my balcony! I didn’t know that in pigeons too, just like Indian families, the entire extended family comes to give opinions and teach and advice when a child becomes an adult! I was regretting my decision of allowing those babies to be raised in my balcony!

After lazing around in bed for a while and running out multiple times to chase the pigeons away, I finally went in for a shower. As usual I got dressed, had a glass of milk, put on my walking shoes and headed out with my backpack and some music for the way.

I like this walk to work. It takes about 40 minutes and that really energises me for the day. It had rained last night so the roads still had a couple of puddles. I was being careful not to walk into one until this guy in a car decided to zoom past me on a particularly rough patch of road (filled with water). So I was soaked in puddle water and I was too far on my way to work to turn back for a change of clothes. I stood transfixed in that spot for a few seconds during which my mind was going from hulk mode to zen mode. Once back to zen mode, I continued on my walk. Everyday I cross this middle aged homeless man who sits at the same spot, pees at the same spot and takes a dump a few steps away from this spot. Everyday I have the same dilemma in my head, should I be feeling sorry for him or not? With that thought in my head I continue walking.

I get to my workplace, get to work and have some tea. The day seems to be the usual peaceful day. But then all of a sudden I hear a tensed dialogue outside. Within minutes the story comes to my table. Someone stole the empty gas cylinder last night! This day seems to be throwing plot twists at me by the hour!

Thankfully there wasn’t any other twist till the end of the day. I finished work a little early and decided to get back home immediately. While on my way I could sense the day isn’t over yet! When I reached my doorstep, the story reached it’s climax! I didn’t have my keys and my roommate was going to take atleast another hour to get back. So there I was stuck outside my home, when after a full week of hard work I actually was going to have time to chill! And if that wasn’t enough, it started pouring cats and dogs. So now my roommate was going to take even longer to get back and I (like I always do) needed to pee (rains do that to me). So I walked up and down the corridor of my floor for an hour, caught up with a few friends on the phone (distractions are needed in such situations) until I finally heard someone scream my name from the other end of the corridor. I think I ran like Simran in the sarson ka khet. I was running fast but it still seemed slow-mo.

My day ended with a tired bladder and a happy tummy, thanks to the yum dinner my roommate was generous enough to cook.

Tomorrow is another day, another adventure and I know the pigeons are going to be back for flying lessons so I better sleep when I have the chance.

Goodnight!

[baatunibilli-blog]

THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT BANGALORE

I moved to Bangalore almost two months back. While it’s been a pleasant stay so far, there are some things that I cannot understand no matter how hard I try.

THE TRAFFIC

This is possibly the most obvious one.

There’s always a competition between buses and cows on who’s going to stop the traffic for longer by stubbornly standing in the middle of a not so wide road.

People on two wheelers are selectively blind. They don’t seem to see dividers, pedestrians and speed breakers at all.

Nobody really cares that one side of the divider is meant for traffic going in only one direction.

Everyday there is a block in front of a small temple on a busy road because someone has bought a new car and the entire family is there for the pooja. So the car causes a road block even before actually getting on road! That’s some dedication. Also everyone only seems to be buying SUVs these days! Where’s the space?

This once there was a block because someone’s car grazed past another’s and they were having a heated argument in the middle of the road. That soon grew into a fist fight and I found myself slowly inching away from the group that had now moved to the side (with their vehicles still stopped in the middle of the road), to swing helmets at each other!

THE BUSES

Firstly there are so fucking many buses. It’s worth appreciating that this is probably quite a well connected public transport system. But someone explain why bus drivers like drifting so much here?

People traveling in buses are of two kinds: those who get seats and those who don’t. Both seem to be oblivious of the others presence. I’ll almost always have a bag or worse, an ass in my face when I am fortunate (or not) enough to get a seat. Also, no one seems to have the simple courtesy of giving up there seat or atleast offering it to an elderly person. This is probably a universal issue and not specific to this city.

THE METRO

It’s quite convenient if you’ve to get to places that fall in the metro route. Only if you’re new, you’ll have first go on an adventure trying to find your way around the stations to get to the right platform. Or like me you might spend a couple of minutes going in the opposite direction from your desired destination, before you actually realise and get off. And then there are some strange new rules that keep cropping up every day. One day I was ticked off for using earphones while in the station. The other day I was told it wasn’t allowed to walk up an escalator even if it’s completely empty, a long way up and you could save a few minutes if you slowly walked up. If someone can shed some light on the logic behind these please please share!

NO SHORT CUTS

Bangalore is possibly the best example of what an unplanned city can be like at it’s worst!

There are random one ways and because of the choking traffic if you’re even considering taking that left hoping to join onto the main road a few kilometres ahead, you’re in for a lot of disappointment! All by lanes, lefts and rights that seem promising are dead ends! All perfectly fine roads are dug up and left just like that for no reason. That possibly explains the traffic getting choked up on the main roads! And if with some luck you happen to discover an actual short cut, a hundred people would have discovered it before you causing it to choke too.

THE CITY OF LAKES

I have only seen two up-close and here’s what I saw. One covered in toxic foam, the other a dried up marsh with dead mussels and empty whiskey bottles. I don’t think I can gather courage to visit any others.

THE RATS

Someone call the Pied Piper of Hamelin! This city needs him desperately! If there was an apocalypse themed movie to be made around Bangalore, it would definitely end with rats taking over the world.

Have you seen the size of these things! They can carry your entire lunch box effortlessly.

Also if you’d like to study anatomy of rats, you can take a walk on any of the roads here. You’ll find rats in different stages of decay strewn across the roads like the trees all grow rats, not leaves and it’s always autumn!

Even with all this bizarre-ness, I think I like this city. Mostly for the weather, a little for the people and a lot for the fact that there are just so many weekend getaways around!

[baatunibilli-blog]

Project Hand-stitch ‘17 : MAY

When I first got this jacket as a gift from my very thoughtful boyfriend, I was super excited, mostly because it was a super bright neon green jacket. Then it sunk in. It’s shapeless, flimsy and extremely unflattering on any body type. It’s just meant to serve it’s purpose of being visible from the moon. So what the hell do I do with it?

THIS

The May challenge was “protective” or “protection” not quite sure even now. I decided to pick this jacket as my base because it’s initial purpose was as a safety gear. I wanted to make it into something that could be worn as daily wear. Basically repurpose something that would otherwise be thrown in the dump like the million other things that end up in our closet.

I was inspired by race tracks and the surface was created using them as reference. Now don’t try squinting your eyes and looking at it from different directions trying to figure out how! It’s like an MF Hussain painting. It looks good and you are not obliged to make sense of it. Only it doesn’t sell for millions. Not yet!

First step was the easiest. Cut up the oversized jacket into three pieces for the torso to fit a size small. There was enough jacket for it even after excluding the ugly black piping and velcro that tore the fabric when I tried to remove it.

Second was to add the darts which on hindsight I feel were slightly pointless.

Third was to add the strips of different coloured fabrics. I first made the strips and then sewed them onto the piece because I like to unnecessarily pile more work on my shoulders.

Then I cut a layer with small rectangular windows in it. Over that a third layer with arrowhead windows.

Adding the layers really added strength to the fabric and quite surprisingly is no strain on the shoulders thanks to the reflectors. I decided to keep them because I really wanted the initial product to be visible.

The last step was to finish off the edges and sew the three pieces together and then of course pose around in it! It turned out to be quite a versatile piece. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Meanwhile I shall figure out next month’s project.

[baatunibilli-blog]

PROJECT HAND-STITCH, JANUARY: PLEATS AND GATHERS

This wonderful project started by Pramila, my senior and friend from college, gave me the much needed opportunity to do something for myself. The idea is to create a completely hand-sewn garment based on a theme, one every month.

One thing you should know about me. I work hard. But only under pressure. Yes, that's an amazing excuse for procrastination. In my defense, the past month was super hectic work wise. So I started work on this piece only on the 15th.

As is true for all the designs I work on, this one evolved through the process and ended up being completely different from what I'd initially planned. I'm thinking this is what is my true identity as a designer.

I decided to use an old Batik dupatta and some left over block-printed fabric for this month. I have always been terrible at cutting. Mostly because of lack of knowledge and maybe a little because I just don't like the scissors I own. So to be safe I gave a margin of almost an inch and a half while cutting the piece. I thanked myself for this at the end of the project.

The idea was to complete a major part of the garment while I was in Kochi, vacationing (waiting for my boyfriend to get back from office). Ofcourse that did not happen. I either had to chill with his parents or sleep after struggling to read a hindi book. That leaves no time for work and it's definitely not my fault. So all I did in Kochi was finish the neckline by putting a facing with the block-printed fabric

After getting back I immediately got to work on the piece, finished the front and back pieces in a day and felt like superwoman! But the next instant I realised I'm going to need 12 superwomen to come together to finish everything on my plate because I had been flooded with orders. I hate this about life. It never lets me be truly happy about something I should be happy about. There's always a catch.

I stayed up late to work on the sleeves because that was a better idea than getting fired from a job where you are sort of the boss. The pleating was a task and they had to be even or the OCD would've kicked in and made me rip my hair out. Whatever is left of them that is. Over that I had to ensure the finishing was perfect because the inverse side was going to be visible as well. So I thought, what would Sanya do? Sanya happens to be my genius magician friend who can sew absolutely anything and also wear it and look fabulous while doing so. She even gave me few tricks to cut sleeves since I'd never done it in my life. Making sleeves is probably the one thing I am most scared of after driving. It takes a special kind of stupid to then decide to make a garment in which the sleeves are the hero.

To my pleasant surprise, I managed. The sleeves were ready after tediously having to sandwich the pleats between two layers of fabric so it stays on my arms and doesn't fall of like ‘kaleriyan’ (those chandeliers a north indian bride wears on her wrists)

Now the only thing left to do was put the pieces of this puzzle together. Considering I had finished the sleeves with much grace, this was quite an easy task. Also because at this point I was sleepy and didn't care about the finishing. I only cared about finishing!

Somethings that might miss the eye!

There are 6 box pleats in the torso part each in the front and back. Thanks to the print I didn't have to pay much attention to the measurements of each.

The only stitches involved are Back-stitch and hemming.

The neckline was supposed to be a deep V, but thanks to the weight of the sleeves, the neck falls back and so does the shoulder joint.

I cannot wear it to any occasion involving eating.

The sleeves really help with building forearm muscles.

I was playing 'senorita' from 'zindagi milegi na dobara' in my head, while doing the shoot.

I think that's about enough information. Somethings must stay with me.

If you have any questions on how to make this piece or have fabric and want me to make it for you, feel free to get in touch. I never refuse an extra buck.

Cheers

[baatunibilli-blog]

Last year after a long chat (long because for most of it I was just crying) with my mother I finally decided to go to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (B.P.D)

Although, I still don’t understand what really happens in my head, I’ve learnt of ways to deal with it. Therapy helps and it also helps that I am surrounded by love. These are just a few glimpses of what it feels like to live with B.P.D

I have extremely exaggerated mood swings. People who have spent any amount of time with me would’ve noticed my super-cheerful mode that switches into the sudden super-quiet mode. There are no reasons behind the change but after the change there are plenty of reasons I find to stay in the low. My life is basically always on the extremes.

I love the days when I, or the people who care enough about me, try to motivate me to make my day worth it. Most days it works. But some days it just doesn’t. All my efforts to push myself forward are in vain. Those days are like a dull monsoon day where dark clouds are all over the sky, humidity is at it’s peak and there’s no sign of rain. All you do on such days is over-analyse life. 

There are times when I do things, say things, that hurt others badly. I realise my mistake after a few minutes of having committed it. It almost feels as if I had no control over my mind and my actions. It feels helpless. It feels like you are in an episode of CID where you’ve been hypnotized to commit some crime.

After almost five years of having let Boderline Personality Disorder grow with me, it has become difficult for me to recognize myself without it. A year of therapy and I know it is slowly leaving me, but that idea scares me sometimes. I feel like it’s become a part of my identity and that it will take me a few more years of healing to be able to come to terms with it being gone. It’s a strange, twisted feeling I know, but it comes quite often. 

There are times when thoughts race in my mind that don’t make sense to me. Thoughts that are irrational and sometimes even life-threatening. It’s difficult to get a grasp of reality in such times. In times like these I cry at the smallest thing. Things like my dog killing a fly or movies like Student of the Year. 

I am very lucky to be surrounded by an extremely loving family, a selflessly loving doggy, a handful of friends who are always there for me and the best, most loving and understanding boyfriend ever. But it wasn’t always like this. I’ve also had the bunch that shun me off and ridiculed me and told me that it’s all in my head and I just have to will it to go. Sometimes that makes me feel like I really don’t want to get rid of it. I think it’s fair to say that my recovery has been possible because of the environment I am in. That change is very important.

To all of you who are facing a similar situation but haven’t got the support or facility to get treatment, I will try and help out in the little way I can. 

I will share the little tricks I have learnt to deal with B.P.D. 

Until then it’s time for me to surround myself with love again and you should too.

Ciao.

[baatunibilli-blog]

THIS POST IS TO REMIND YOU TO INVITE ME FOR YOUR WEDDING

Okay so it's festive season and every human who (fake) blogs about fashion (not) is writing about their favorite looks this season. So why should I be any far behind?

After all, I have a whole list of functions to attend this month, and the next, and the next, until February (sulking in my room sitting in shorts and a tee, pissed that no one invites to these things and no one close to me is getting married. Really aren't you guys like old now? Go marry. INVITE ME)

THE OPPORTUNIST

Recently, I did get invited to a reception (yay). Only, I did not know the bride or the groom. I knew the groom's family. I mean I knew of their existence. I was invited, courtesy my mom because, she knows the groom's family pretty well (shout out to all the freeloaders). So when they asked if I'd like to come along I said YES, while a carousel of outfit ideas took over my mind. I thought since I'd decided I was going to freeload I might as well freeload all the way. Basically 'begaani shaadi mein abdullah deewana' types. What I wore that day was my mom's lovely shawl and dad's cotton kurta. This is a recreation of the look. What I'm wearing here is a Chanderi hand-embroidered dupatta from my brand, Mahodari, a blouse I made for my convocation sari and Kolhapuris. As you go through this post you'll see I'm a one footwear kind of woman. The belt is from Shrujan which is extremely important when you have a non-existent waist like mine. Yes, even if you've pinned the dupatta to your skin. One can never be too safe.

THE DISCOVERER

You know how archeologists discover these ancient tools and then study them, trying to figure out what the hell they were used for? This look is kinda like that. No I did not excavate this dupatta from under my house (That was Moza. He excavated the bone he'd hidden there a hundred minutes ago). Here's a fun exercise for you guys. Take out any piece from your wardrobe, forget it's original purpose and wear it as something else. It's really a great way to expand your wardrobe. Especially, if you're just an ordinary woman with a lot of investments to make, so you can't afford to buy new clothes every other day. Plus you hate shopping. Basically if you're me. (I just realised I could be a great theme for a college party)

This doesn't exactly fit into the festive look thing. But think about this. If you promised your friend good pictures, but everyone just keeps photobombing all the pictures, your friend is going to hate you for the rest of your life. So this outfit is a good strategy. It makes people fall behind you instantly (tried and tested). You get some crazy good snaps, and win your friend all over again!

What i'm wearing here is a bagh embroidered dupatta, a gift from my future mother-in-law. Yes, I have shared this look with her and she suggested I ate a little more.

The shorts are from my grad project again (this is why you should all do independent collections as grad projects); and the slip-ons from Marie Claire that have been chewed up skillfully by Moza after he dug the bone back under the house.

THE NEXT ONE IN QUEUE

Umar ho gay hai? Ladka khud dhoondna hai? Very good, we are progressive people. Chintu's wedding is here. Look better than his bride and you'll find some suitors. You have full freedom to pick whoever you want out of the bunch of them including the gate crashers (who knows; Ranveer Singh might drop by with his unkempt hair and hungry chelas). Pick monotones, because you want to be subtle about out-dressing the bride. Pick a nice young colour that really just makes the whole ripe and ready to be wed bit evident enough but, be careful not to be too loud about it. My trick? Pick a very simple saree and throw a heavily but delicately embroidered dupatta with it. Both the saree and the dupatta I'm wearing are Mahodari. Don't worry, if this alone doesn't work, there'll be lots of matchmakers waiting to get to work at the wedding. Oh and don't forget to smile!

THE SPOTLIGHT HOGGER

Whites are magical. Wear the classic white and gold and go to all the night time events. The photographers will be following you around because well, you'll be most visible for starters. You'll get some brilliant glowing pictures and a dozen profile pictures to pick from. You'll look ethereal and not because you washed your face a hundred times and put the right amount of bronzer. It's because you're practically wearing a reflector. Oh and while you're at it, throw in some silver. So if you're tired of your current DP, get yourself invited to a function and wear whites! Small tip: Dupattas/stoles/scarves work brilliantly because you can then control the amount of light you want to reflect on your face. You’re welcome. Don't forget to mention me in the picture credits. I’m wearing a Chanderi dupatta from Mahodari, a skirt I made for garba a couple of years back and all the silver I own.

THE MASTER OF DISGUISE

Are you from the bride's side but you really think the baraatis have some kickass music? No worries! Always be prepared for such an eventuality. Wear a practical outfit so you can fulfill your dancing dreams. Put your spies at work and find out what colour the baraatis' turbans will be. Get yourself a dupatta in the colour. You're all set! I'm wearing a Mahodari saree in crinkled crepe because it's light and it moves really well with me. The kurta is from a Diwali a couple of years ago. I made it in a hurry so ignore the bad finishing. The dupatta is again Mahodari and that colour is just my favorite right now. The shades are from a thrift shop and as always, Kolhapuris and my feet, still going strong together.  

Just a word of caution about this one. Dare to wear this outfit only if you are a decent dancer. Or you might get disowned from both sides and miss out on the yum food waiting at the end!

I sincerely hope this gets me some wedding invites atleast. Until then, must go feed my growling tummy. Ciao!

[baatunibilli-blog]

WHEN IT RAINS ON YOUR DREAMS

Last night I dreamt of our college convocation party. It was one of those days of severe existential crisis. I was missing the one person I really wanted to be with that moment. I had no interest in dancing (which I love otherwise) or drinking or socializing. I felt old. I felt like a pimple ready to burst. The kinds that don't even leave a mark behind to be remembered by. So in all the moping there was just one sliver lining. My dress! That thing can light up anyone's mood. If happiness were to be made as a print this would be it! I think I could be a landmark in a desert with that on (employment goals).

So I woke up today determined to wear that dress to work (perks of being the only employee/employer/anything and everything). It was going to be one hell of a happy day! Then it started to pour. Now usually I love rains. But today I just really wanted to wear that dress! This dress only happens to be backless and I only happen to feel cold a lot more than a regular human. One more important trait about me: I am stubborn. Like a band-aid. It had to be done. Thus, came about this outfit.

This one could be called "zaroorat ke samay apne hi kaam aate hain".

Here's why.

Dress: I made it as part of my grad project.

(Yup till about a year back I was badass)

Net embroidered jacket: Gift from my mom for Diwali last year

Shoes: Gift from my sister for my birthday last year

Ear Studs: Gift from my maasi when I met her for the first time in over 20 years.

Bracelet: Gift from the friendly ghost in my house that has an impeccable taste and leaves around goodies for me.

Hair: Thanks to my 10 month old pup (not) who graciously left a part of the comb in usable condition. The comb that I use on rare occasions like these.

Also I deliberately mentioned they were gifts because it's that time of the year again and I'm nice so I'm letting you all know well in advance. I also accept milk pedas and stationery. 

And now it's time for my daily acupuncture session with Moza as he sits and tediously chews on my hands.

Until next time.

P.S. If you're wondering why I wore the jacket under the dress instead of over then here's the answer. I'm like superman. I like to mix it up.

[baatunibilli-blog]

11th of July 2015, the deal was sealed. Well, to be honest it was sealed way before that in January! On the 5th day of the beautiful New Year, I made the best decision of my life. I downloaded Tinder. Yup, you read that right! Read it again a hundred times and it'll still be the same.

Within a few hours I'd matched with a few people. My first match however, was the one fated to be stuck with me for the rest of my life and neither of us knew it yet. My first impression of Arjun was that he was a complete goofball and he had to be a really great guy because we had three common interests; design, dogs and minions! What a winner right?

Everything moved super quick with us. We were friends on Facebook the same day and the next day we were texting each other. If we'd only been in the same city, we'd have probably met twenty times in those two days. You see our match happened by accident. A happy little glitch! I was in Kerala the week before and my phone had decided to stay stuck there while I had been back home a while. So I started matching with people in Kerala instead. What are the odds of something like that happening? In July last year Arjun and I met for the first time. He came to Pune and that smile I saw that day at the airport, that smile still makes me weak in my knees.

I think Arjun and I became close super quick because of all that we have in common and that list is endless. We understand each other perfectly because of this and there's just not been a single moment of strain in a year's time. Everyday I love him a little more and everyday the cynic in me dies a little. If I had to tell you all about Arjun and why I love him so much, it'll probably become a screenplay for the next romcom hit. But here's I want to share with everyone. It is rare that we meet people who we connect with instantly and then remain inseparable for the rest of our lives. I wake up each day feeling blessed and loved and happy as never before. Before Arjun things had only been going downhill for me. I had super low self-esteem, no motivation to do anything and felt lesser and lesser needed everyday. I cannot express in just a few words how much he has changed me for the better. I want to write songs and sing for him. I want to be my cheesiest mushiest self shamelessly for him. I want to be me to the last cell of my body for him. I always preached of honesty and never really dared to be completely honest with myself. Now, I have no fear. I feel like a little bird who's just discovered the joy of flying.

I used to wish for a man who would sweep me off my feet. Someone who could be smart as hell and foolishly silly to make me look smarter at times. Someone who could just love me for everything that I am and not just accept me. It was obviously too much of an idealistic man, even for a Jane Austen novel. But here he was, my very own knight in shining armor! My expectations were blown away to bits with what he calls "it's all part of the charm". My only complain would be that we didn't meet earlier.

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have found the courage to start my own clothing line. Every now and then I doubt myself a little and he just always says something to motivate me again. He's taught me so much and he's always learning cool new stuff. I would've never gotten back to singing seriously and now I'm performing too. He's always there, always making sure that I'm happy. He makes me live a little more, enjoy a little more. Most of all I would've never known what it's like to be loved and to love so deeply. I would've never known what it felt like to be happy and to look forward to every single day. The simplicity of being kind to everyone, just making the other person feel like a million bucks. It's the little things and the big things and all that comes in between. I would've never truly lived life if it wasn't for him. So today, a year since we first promised to never leave each other's side, I want to tell you Arjun that I intend to take this beyond forever. No time is going to be long enough to be with you. No amount of distance is large enough to stop us from loving each other more everyday. I am the luckiest person in the world to have you in my life. You are my constant, my north star and I hope I can be yours too. I love you. P.S. Keep Calm and Take Bath! 

[baatunibilli-blog]

A phone is meant for making and receiving phone calls!

Every single day of our lives, we live in fear. Sometimes of survival, sometimes of living upto someone else's expectations, sometimes of getting caught and sometimes of the future. Then there's fears that stem from these. It's quite endless if you start to think about it.

For me on an everyday basis, the biggest fear is whether or not I'm going to be able to prove myself to the world and more importantly to everyone who thinks I cannot do shit. The next big fear is TECHNOLOGY! I'm sure all of you had this as a topic for debate atleast once during school. "Technology- a boon or bane?"

I realised at a very young age that I am not cut out for handling stuff like this. I mean techie stuff, not debates. (I wasn't great at debates either)

How? Well, I was playing Prince of Persia and I never made it past Level 1. After a few months I crossed that level finally and that made me change my opinion. I did not entirely suck at this stuff. I was just slow as hell! That's not so bad is it?

My first cell phone was a Motorola flip one. The one they're planning to launch again. One day to my pleasant surprise I was informed (very politely) about something called an SMS pack! To this I questioned, "SMS?"

A phone is meant for making and receiving phone calls! Why does it have to do so many other things?

Slowly, I figured out that my phone could not just make calls and send messages, it could also play music! Who would have thought? (only everyone but me)

I had just about managed to pick up speed with that keyboard without my fingers aching by the end of one text when someone walked in with a QWERTY! It took me some time to first find out what the hell qwerty was and eventually got myself one! The corby. I was in first year in college by now. (Today, most first year kids walk in with an IPhone or a Note5 or some other fancy phone I’m not even aware of yet).

By the end of the year my phone got misplaced, I needed a laptop and I'd joined Facebook. Progress. There was not much thinking when we went to buy a laptop. It was between an HP and a Macbook and I guess we were too excited about a Macbook being in the family regardless of it's incredibly pointless features (pointless to me, atleast).

Facebook seemed delightfully simpler than Orkut, where I had a fake profile because I thought, "identity protection" and "the internet is evil".

As for the phone, after much deliberation I got myself a Nokia X2, which has now gone into the dabba phones category. This, I have to say has been my favorite phone ever! I've dropped it countless times and it's barely got a scratch on it. Needless to say I was going to keep it for life.

But life had other plans!

ANDROID.

I thought it was a robot because someone compared a fellow student to it. Back then (just 5 years back) I didn't think I could just Google all my life problems for solutions! Three years down the line I am considerably good with a few adobe softwares (smug face), thanks to documentation! It was an obsession, like selfies (I'm proud of my system to still autocorrect that word).

I decided I was not going to be part of the jing-bang and stick to my stone-age phone and live a happy life! And yet again…

WhatsApp.

Are you kidding! What happened to SMS-pack? I was given a long list of pros for WhatsApp and it was so damn convincing. Did I mention I was dating a sailor and it was incredibly hard to keep in touch if I was going to stick to the SMS-pack? Also, my school friends had stopped messaging me because they never had message balance, or any other balance (in life too). So, I finally gave in to the childhood monster called Peer Pressure and downloaded WhatsApp on my dabba Nokia. I did not know until this point that my dear dabba Nokia fell in the smartphone category (proud mommy moment).

Cut to November 2014. There's this crazy sale on Flipkart which later became quite a controversy. My parents decided to get me an early birthday gift and I finally have an android. Yay me! First thing I do? Change the wallpaper. Then I get WhatsApp and transfer all my music and slowly start to type on this brand new touch screen. I was fast, like real fast, on my darling qwerty. Here comes the touch screen. It's like ice skating for the first time (never done it, I just think this is what it must be like). You slip and fall and make a fool of yourself! But it was true what they said, once you get used to it, there's no turning back.

The next month we went on a "family vacation" and it was a lot of fun, surprisingly. I was busy taking pictures (no selfies, I swear…okay maybe a few), playing Subway Surfers and…wait for it….Tinder. (This was only when I wasn't chilling with my peeps okay). Yes, Tinder-ing. While on vacation. In Kerala. I'll give you a moment there to laugh about it. I think this was one of the rare times I felt incredibly at pace with the world.

Today, thanks to a lot of brainwashing and an insane amount of Googling how to's, I now have a Facebook Page for my brand. I also managed an Instagram account for the brand and myself; handling multiple accounts and all (smug face again). I am also figuring out mobile banking (someone needs to make banking a not so boring experience before I die, PLEASE). I am still scared of being left behind though. What with all these cool videos of revolutionary advancements in technology that keep showing up on your Facebook wall everyday. Atleast, I know how to "react" to them (it's a shame how Facebook has compartmentalized our feelings)! That's called progress. So bring it on life! I'll take it a quarter step at a time.

[baatunibilli-blog]

“Kal Ka Hai”

I woke up this morning earlier than usual, unable to sleep because of excitement. In just a few hours I was going to be in Kochi, suffocating my boyfriend with hugs and kisses and possibly having a Samurai at Burger Junction the same day! I've waited for two months for this day. It's amazing how we get through long periods (yes two months is a lot) of separation just knowing that each passing day brings us closer to the day we meet again. I'm referring to my boyfriend here, not the Samurai.

I woke up and decided to quickly get ready even though I had plenty of time. I double-checked if I had packed everything; wallet, ID card, tickets, chargers etc. All set and I got out dot at 9am hoping to beat the traffic and make it in good time to the airport.

Sitting in the rickshaw I found myself thinking…

I wish I could've finished that denim shirt and worn that instead.

I should've put the laptop in its sleeve.

I can't wait to land and go hug my Cutie.

What if I meet someone I know at the airport?

The last one there is an actual question in my head that I need to answer beforehand. I need to be prepared for such encounters.

Lost in thoughts I finally reached and I quite literally jumped out of the rick. Standing in queue waiting at the departures gate, my heart beat was rising for some reason. I hope I got everything.

Security scrutinizes my ID, looking up at my face and back at the ID a few times to make sure its the same weirdo on that card. Then he scans my ticket once. And twice. And thrice.

"Madam aapka ticket toh kal ka hai"

(Insert dramatic music)

My heart stopped for like a millisecond there. I took my ticket back from him, mumbled "ek minute", took out my phone and checked the dates. My heart sunk a little more. I slowly walked away without making eye-contact with anyone.

How is this possible? I clearly booked for the 28th!

Mom's going to kill me.

What'll I tell cutie?

This is the biggest mistake of my life. I want to dig a hole here and hide forever. Hey can I maybe stay in the airport the whole day and not tell my parents this happened?

Meanwhile…

Me: Hi dad. I'm going back home. Flight's tomorrow!

Dad: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Hi Ma. Heading back home. Flight's tomorrow!

Mom: Okay *giggles*

Me: This sucks! When I need a lecture I don't get one!

Finally I call my boyfriend.

"Hey! There's been a small gadbad (biggest mistake of my life)

My ticket's booked for tomorrow. I'm going back home now"

I think what sucked the most was that he thought I was pranking him. I have to say at that moment I did think it would be a pretty good prank and maybe I'll save it for some other day! But today I just wanted the numbers to magically change to 28th on the tickets.

I get on another rick back home feeling terrible about everything. The amount of inconvenience it's caused everyone including myself! The increasing amount of emptiness left when you feel like the whole world is a lie (for a day)!

I got home feeling as shitty and got a super warm and fuzzy greeting from my doggy, Moza. Slowly the crappiness of the situation starts leaving me and I can enjoy the hilarity of it!

I would like to think it was fated! I was not supposed to get on that flight. I was meant to get that laptop in it's sleeve and wear that denim shirt. I like this theory. Mostly because it makes me feel less foolish.

Now, I'm sitting in batman boxers, eating ice candy and watching doggy videos on the internet. Things could've been much worse!