KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE PROMPTS
* assorted dialogue from the 2014 film
so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon.
do you know what that means?
my people will be getting in touch with you very soon.
if you get blood on the carpet, you're going to have to take the carpet up!
do i look like i give a fuck?
we're here to enhance your skills and test you to the limit.
i was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the pentagon.
you can't talk to me like that.
if you have a complaint, you come here and whisper it in my ear.
shit. fucking missed it. how did i fucking miss it?
sorry about that. needed to let off a little steam.
and so began our adventure.
nobody thanked me for any of them.
your little experiment failed.
do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here?
i apologize for putting you in this position.
who the fuck are you? where am i?
did you have any chance to think further on my proposal?
always someone else's fault.
would you care for a drink?
i'll deal with this mess... personally.
sorry. gotta save the world.
you were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
these, you're familiar with.
would you like a lift home?
no stomach for violence. i mean, literally, i see one drop of blood, that is me, done.
i need to have a private conversation.
well if we don't do something, nature will.
this knife can save your life.
being a gentleman is something one learns.
you're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit.
don't be ridiculous. it's a hand grenade.
can anybody tell me what this is?
fuck! just cut the fucking ropes, please!
can you guess what this is?
looks like a lot of people are going to die.
it's a pleasure to meet you.
how can i understand if you won't tell me anything?
there are not a lot of people who knew about him.
congratulations. bloody well done.
i am inviting you to be part of a new world.
once he explained, i understood.
gotta admit, i was really intrigued to meet you.
i'm so sorry i can't say more.
i killed all those people.
i suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far.
a suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
there is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. true nobility is being superior to your former self.
let me teach you a lesson.
you know what this is like?
i stepped things down because i wasn't getting anywhere.
i see someone with potential.
i seem to have my dates muddled up.
pretty dog. what's his name?
you're a bloody disgrace.
i knew you couldn't make it.
i cancelled the gala because of you.
i'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape.
it was a blank. it was a fucking blank.
this is our standard issue pistol.
if you save the world... we can do it in the asshole.
that tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head.
how deep does this fucking thing go?
your weapon scores are excellent, by the way.
nothing personal, if that's your concern.
i'm had a rather emotional day.
one day, you might be as good a spy as any of them.
if you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.
can't you see that everything i've done has been about trying to repay them?
i'd appreciate it enormously if you could just leave us in peace.
i'm just in to find out what kind of person you are.
pull the hook to the left.
i've had my people looking into your affairs.
i'm sure you understand that.
i'm so sorry. please untie me.
you're full of surprises.
you throw away your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog.
is this the part where you say some... really bad pun?
no! that wasn't the fucking deal!
you think i've got anything to lose?
how'd your folks make it?
are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?
thank you for such a happy meal.
