No one has permission to steal my work and/or republish as your own
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What I WILL write: smut, angst, fluff, dark fics, cnc, intersex characters, piss kinks, top/dom!reader, top/dom!character, bottom/sub!reader, bottom/sub!chatacter, and any more kinks/fetishes requested
What I will NOT write: scat, male reader and or character, pedophilia, intersex!reader, domestic abuse (from r or character), beastiality, incest, and possibly more (if there is something requested I’m not willing to write I will kindly ask to change it for you and see if you still want me to write it)
In case you guys are considering meeting Fiona Dourif uhm DO IT genuinely the nicest person I’ve ever met, held my hand and hugged me a bunch, cried bc she said I inspired her so much, talked to me for 10 mins, remembered me by name for the photo op and bragged abt how far I went to see her to everyone, and said I’m the sweetest girl (oh and she took my pulse and made me look right in her eyes as she looked right in mine 😉😜 and did I mention she took a photo of me in her phone bc she loved my Dr McKay shirt soooo basically we’re married
Warnings: small angst, a little arguing, guilt, age gap (r is 25, Cassie is 43), some sexual tension, love confessions, not proofread
Cassie’s been counting the days since you last spoke, so far it’s been eleven. Her son was that age, and yet somehow those eleven years felt shorter than these days. You texted her three times, and she hadn’t answered one – she only stared at the graduation photo you sent in your white coat, a large grin on your face, with a ‘thinking of you today’ text that made her heart ache. She only hearted the image.
You, on the other hand, had spent your days crying in the arms of your friends, who you felt horrible bothering during graduation, considering this was the moment you’ve spent close to a decade dreaming of. How could you let Cassie ruin it for you? So you kept that smile on your face when your family flew down to watch, and wiped your mother’s tears as if you weren’t keeping in your own. You had hoped Cassie would at least respond, but the ignorance hurt more than you could form into words.
You flew back into Pittsburg last night, and when Cassie saw Dana back from her vacation, she knew that meant you were here too. She had been hovering over your contact for awhile, remembering how she blamed you for something she did – falling in love with you. But it had been such a short amount of time, and you were so young, she didn’t want to believe she was truly in love with you, that would just make everything harder.
“Dana, back so soon? How was Boston?” Cassie asked as she approached the blonde, who smiled in memory of the three days her and her family had spent in a cramped Boston hotel near your college. You all had gone around the city to shop and explore one last time since you graduated, and it had been the only moment of peace in at least a year for the nurse.
“Oh, it was wonderful. My girl is officially a doctor now, can you believe that?” Cassie nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. Oh, how badly she wanted to congratulate you, to tell you she was proud of the woman she loved.
“It’s crazy, but I’m happy for her.” She paused, her eyes darkening in guilt. “Hey, uhm, can you tell her I said congrats? I’d love to send her a gift but I’m not sure she knows me well enough.” That was partly true. You knew nothing about Cassie, other than what her fingers felt like, what her laugh sounded like, what her real smile looked like, and all of the tiny details she gave about her life. She thought it was best that way, for neither of you to get too attached, but the thought of holding you again made her heart skip a beat.
“Why don’t you come to the graduation party? Y/N said we don’t need one since this’ll be her third, but Benji and I insisted. It’s this Sunday!” That was soon, too soon. Exactly four days away, and she still hadn’t even bothered to reach out. You would probably be mad seeing her, and she’d ruin your entire party, she couldn’t do that to you. She was hurting you enough now, how would you feel if she were to add on to that stress?
“I’ll think about it.”
–
Cassie did in fact think about it, it was all she could think about. But on Sunday, she nervously tucked the card into the gift bag she brought and carried herself past the cars parked outside of Dana’s home. She had been here exactly one time for a barbeque, one she knew you couldn’t have attended or else she would’ve remembered that beautiful face.
“Cassie! You made it!” She heard Benji’s voice, and he quickly came over to shake her hand. He had greying hair and some wrinkles here and there, but he was an overall tall and skinny man that looked like the average dad wearing khaki shorts and an American flag button up with the top two undone. She grinned and shook his hand firmly despite her sweaty palms, and followed him inside. There, she saw beautiful decorations, all surrounding you. By the front door was a photo wall from when you were a baby to now, joined by your high school gown, college gown, and white coat. She brushed her fingers over them, as if imagining your body in it. God, how she misses holding that sweet, perfect body that molded into her hands like clay.
Staring at the baby photos of you made her chuckle quietly to herself, yet her shoulders carried her guilt. She was in love with Dana’s daughter…this amazing woman, a coworker to her for entire residency, had given birth to you twenty-five years ago, and probably still saw you as her little girl like she still saw Harrison as her little boy, and she had taken advantage of her. Mostly, she had hurt her.
“Ah, Cassie! It’s great to see you, especially out of those scrubs! Y/N’s in the kitchen, I’ll go grab her.”
“Oh, no, you- you don’t have to, she’s probably busy–” Dana brushed her off with a wave of her hand, walking away while still speaking.
“Nonesense! She’ll want to meet you!” Cassie shrunk into herself, fiddling nervously with the gift bag she had in hand, and looking down at her outfit. She wore a simple pair of sweatpants and a tank top with tainted shoes. It wasn’t quite fitting for a celebration, especially since she saw others in dresses and formal clothing, but she remembered sending you a photo of her outfit over a month ago, wearing this exact set, and you continuing to bring up how sexy she looked for days.
When she saw you, it felt like whiplash. Her eyes widened as they met yours, and she caught the slight pause in your step. Despite that, you offered a small, kind smile and brushed the hair behind your ear before shaking her hand as your mother introduced you two as if you never met. Because to her, you two didn’t know each other, but to you both, you shared a history too difficult to put into words.
“Nice to meet you Doctor McKay.”
“Please, call me Cassie.” You nodded, and she sighed quietly, watching as your mother left to greet another guest. The two of you both glanced around the room before she took a careful, yet nervous, step forward.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?” You quipped back, crossing your arms over your chest as you kept your gaze off of her, because you knew it would make those horrible nights full of tears return. She swallowed, her eyes betraying her mind as she stared at your chest, now pushed up from your arms. She still remembers the exact shade of your perky, hard nipples when they were coated in her saliva.
“For-...for ghosting you, for yelling at you.” You scoffed quietly at her words.
“You told my mom to wish me congrats…you couldn’t even text me yourself? Tell me, if it wasn’t for her telling you about this party, would we have spoken again? Or would you just forget me like it was nothing?” She opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t think of a response. She let out a low breath and glanced around again, nervous that anyone could pick up on their conversation. This time, she spoke even quieter.
“I’m sorry for hurting you. It was never my intention.” There was a long pause, and she could see the tears welling in your eyes.
“I just don’t understand why you’re so ashamed of us…of me. Yeah, our situation isn’t ideal, but we could’ve worked it out.” Her chest ached at the sight of you, at the sound of your wavering voice. She glanced at the photos still beside her, the ones where you were smiling brightly, and looked back at you. It suddenly hit her all over again – she was the one diminishing that beautiful grin, she was the one with the worst impact on your life, even though you thought the world of her.
“Can we go somewhere private, Y/N?”
Moments later, she sat on the edge of your bed where you spent teen years studying and giggling with friends, all while she was struggling to figure out what to do with her life.
“It’s beautiful in here. The photos…they’re quite the addition.” She pointed to the wall of pictures you had with your family and friends, and in each one, there was the smile yet again.
“Thanks.” It was quiet again, before she slowly grabbed your hand in hers, and squeezed it.
“You don’t realize how much you mean to me. You…you’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” She put the gift down to cup your cheek, making you look at her directly as your faces stood mere inches apart.
“Then why are you embarrassed of that?”
“It’s not you I’m embarrassed of, it’s me. This has nothing to do with you, baby.” A tear rolled down your cheek, and she wiped it away carefully. Swallowing, she tried to find the right words to say to mend this. “I…it hurts how much I– I care for you. When I didn’t text you, it wasn’t because you weren’t on my mind, it’s because I couldn’t think of anything but you. On my wedding day, I didn’t stumble over a vow, I didn’t cry during it, I didn’t even struggle saying ‘I do’ even if I didn’t mean it. But with you…God, I can’t think right.”
She watched a tiny smile form on your lips, encouraging her to continue. Your hand held hers just as firmly as hers did yours, and she knew this was her best chance at resolving this.
“You’re all that’s on my mind, I feel empty without you. This past week was…it was the longest week of my life. But there’s so many flaws in me, there’s so many things to look at and feel ashamed of. I’m…I’m scared of being with you because I am scared of how you’ll see me, how you’ll see the parts of me I hide.”
She sniffled, and before you could think, you were cupping both of her cheeks in your hands, guiding her eyes to bore into yours. They were soft, delicate, and you stared back with the same intensity.
“We all have flaws, Cassie, but when I look at you, I don’t see a single one. And, yeah, maybe later on I’ll get a little annoyed with your snoring, but why would I prioritize that over all the good in you? Cass, I– I…I love you. And I don’t think that will change, whether you like it or not.” Her eyes widened at your words, and you could see the way her breath hitched. She nodded slowly, her lips clasping together to hide the sheer adoration she felt.
“I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much.” The words barely left her before her mouth was on yours, her tongue softly gliding across your lip for access. You moaned quietly and leaned into it, your hands searching her body to feel her warmth. Even in the cool room, she felt warm, soft. Your legs came to wrap around her thighs as you settled yourself on her lap, your lips only parting when you two couldn’t breathe anymore. Her hands were cupping your ass with passion rather than desire.
“I want to take my time with you, to make love to you. But we can’t do that here.” You nodded to her words slowly with a tiny frown, coming to give her tiny pecks on her lips until you rested your head on her shoulder with a tiny sigh.
“I know. I’ve just missed you, Cass.” She smiled at that, nodding and brushing your hair softly until you leaned back to look at the gift bag she brought.
“What’d you get me?”
“Uh, it’s– it’s nothing really…” You rolled your eyes and grabbed it, pulling out a card and a small box. You opened the box first with a gasp, your gaze landing on a beautiful necklace with your initial carved into it. She awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck.
“Yeah, I found it at the store…It’s nothing special.”
“Nothing special? Baby, this is gorgeous! Thank you!” You pecked her lips softly before getting the card, softly undoing the packaging before opening it. A polaroid of you two sat at the bottom, attached to the card with a simple paper clip. You remember dragging her back to your dorm just to grab your polaroid camera and take a photo of you two. She was holding you from behind, kissing your cheek with a laugh as you smiled brightly, your eyes full of excitement and the joy she had been hoping to incite in you since the first day. You read her sweet message of congratulations, and how she wished you all the best for your future with a speech about her ever-growing feelings for you.
“Oh Cass…this is so sweet.” You ran your finger along the photo with a soft smile before standing and walking towards the mirror you used every morning and night to get ready, and you locked it into the wood holding the glass together. Before you could truly admire it any more, there was a knock on your door and your sister was rushing you out for food. You glanced at Cassie and took her hand, guiding her out of the room.
“You look sexy, by the way. You wearing that is a gift in itself.” You whispered to her as you walked down the hall, and she let out a soft chuckle that drew redness to your cheeks.
Maybe this wasn’t too bad after all…maybe the consequences, the fear, the guilt, was all worth it.
—
I know it seems like it, but this is definitely not the last part!! I have some more ideas coming up, so stay tuned:)
I will be going away tomorrow for almost a week so I can meet Fiona 😜 but I am currently working on the next upload to my Cassie series and hopefully I’ll get it out tonight or tomorrow but I can’t promise but I will definitely be getting out some SMAU’s to upload when I’m gone!
If you have any requests, you can send them in still 😁
Warnings: small mentions of smut, age gap (R is about 25, Cassie is 43), angst, arguing, a lot of internal tension, some lying, self-doubt
Word Count: 2972
The Emergency Department was quieter than usual today. The workers did not want to jinx it, but it was more peaceful than most shifts, so it gave Cassie the time to text her new friend when she wasn’t worried about making sure her patients were still breathing.
Cass <3: ‘Hey :) I’m thinking about you a lot today, maybe we can call on my ride home?’
Your phone dinged as you sat in the dining hall with two of your friends. Today was one of the only days you didn’t have clinical rotations during schooling, and you were not going to let it go to waste. You spent most of your day with your roommates, walking around the city and enjoying the bright sun that had recently been in and out. Now, you three were eating the lunch your school provided while reviewing study materials.
You grabbed your phone and hid your grin, typing back a reply that you debated in your head for longer than you would like to admit.
y/n: “hi! that sounds like fun, call me when you get out!’
Your friend cleared her throat and wiggled her brows at you, making you roll your eyes playfully. The other sat beside you and lightly nudged your shoulder with a smirk.
“Is this the doctor from the conference?” You scoffed, clearly no anger in your tone as your bright red cheeks betrayed you.
“How do you know I’m not replying to an email?” Both of them shared a look, and the one beside you, who you have known since Freshman year of undergraduate school, finished swallowing her sip of a strawberry smoothie before replying.
“Who the hell smiles that much responding to an email? Besides, you practically throw up every time a doctor asks for your opinion on clinical, I know you wouldn’t smile from an email from them.”
“Okay, fine! She said she’s thinking of me at work and that she wants to call on her way home. This is what I said.” You showed the phone, biting your lip nervously as the two of them read it. The girl across from you, who became your roommate last year, dramatically gasped out loud, making your eyes widen in fear.
“What? Did she send something?”
“No, no! It’s just-...Y/N, you are so fucking dry.” You paused, furrowing your brows before aggressively taking your phone back, biting your nail anxiously as you reread the words.
“No I’m not! What else am I meant to say?”
“Anything besides, ‘that sounds like fun!’. You need to show her that you actually want it, and not just because she mentioned it.” A sigh came from your lips and you shrugged, watching the three dots come and go. Cassie on the other end looked exactly like you right now, anxiously biting her lip as she wrote and deleted the same few words over and over. Eventually, she pressed send and closed her phone, promising herself that she would check on her patients once again before looking at it.
Cass <3: ‘Great!’
Cass <3: ‘So, what are you up to?’
The girl beside you leaned over, her laptop turning dark as she completely forgot about the practice exam she was about to take.
“Say something like, ‘I’m hanging out with some friends, thinking about you.’”
“What? Dude, that’s so boring!” The woman across from you two exclaimed. She put her drink down and took out her sole airpod, clearly more focused on this topic now. “Here, let me see it.” You sighed as she began typing, watching her grin at her own ideas before handing it back to you. Luckily, she didn’t send it yet, and it sat waiting for your approval.
y/n: ‘I didn’t have clinicals today so I’m studying with some friends. I miss you though :( what’s your day looking like?’
“Really? This is what you think is good? Mine looks like gold compared to this!” You held up your hand to quiet the two women, deleting her response and letting out a breath.
“I think it’s better if it comes from me. She likes me, not you guys. No offense.”
y/n: “just hanging out with my friends! I had the day off today luckily.’
y/n: ‘everywhere I go makes me think of you though. saw the hotel today and wanted to text you, but i knew you were probably busy.’
Cass <3: ‘You can always text me, Y/N. It hasn’t been crazy today, so I would’ve loved to hear from you.’
Trinity looked up from the endless amount of charting she was forced to finish, a singular eyebrow raising as she watched the older woman typing excitedly on her phone. She usually said when it was Harrison, and her smile was never this big. No offense to Harrison, but he was mostly sending her memes she didn’t understand throughout the day or asking where his basketball jersey was.
“Who are you texting?” Cassie jumped slightly and saw the doctor's sly smirk slowly forming as she completely forgot about the assignment at hand, now focusing on the mysterious person on the other end of the phone.
“Uh, no one. Just a, uhm, person I met in Boston.”
“As in, like, met and fucked, or met and share work complaints with?” Cassie’s eyes widened at the blunt words and glanced around quickly to make sure no one heard Trinity’s accusation. Then, she sat down next to her and pulled the chair closer.
“I probably shouldn’t be telling you about this,”
“But you want to.”
“I do.” She paused, a small smile taking over her face at the thought of you. “Uh, I met this amazing, smart, beautiful woman-”
“Hold on, you like women?” Trinity paused in disbelief, suddenly much more invested in this story than before.
“I guess so. I mean, I was married to Chad for years, but before then I experimented a little. But when I tell you I have never met someone like this, I mean it. We talked for so many hours and I…well, I took her back to the hotel, and we had sex.”
“Okay, was it good?” Trinity didn’t even need a worded response, the look of absolute heaven and bliss on Cassie’s face was enough to tell the answer.
“It was the best night of my life. We even ended up spending the next day together, and she took me to the airport. She’s genuinely the best thing that has happened to me since Harrison.”
“Jesus, you’re moving fast.” Trinity scoffed, her relationship, or lack of, with Yolanda was much the opposite. Casual sex and ramen on occasion was a lot different than what you two shared, and how she spoke about Yolanda was nowhere near how Cassie spoke about you.
“I know, I know. I probably should relax, but there’s something different, you know?”
“It’s probably because she is a she. That makes a load of a difference.”
“Yeah, probably. But, uhm, there’s just one thing that’s really holding me back.” Cassie struggled to get out. Clearly she had been wanting to say this to someone, yet she didn’t want the judgement that came with it. And, honestly, who could she go to? Her son was an immediate no, her few friends were in mom groups and happily married, and she didn’t feel like telling her elderly parents about the woman she met and slept with on the first night of knowing one another. “She’s twenty-five. And I haven’t told her about my son yet. Not to mention she lives in Boston right now, but she is from here so that’s a plus. God, I’m horrible, aren’t I?”
She watched Trinity’s eyes nearly pop out of her head and immediately regretted her confession. She groaned, covering her head with her hands while Trinity was at a loss for words.
“You’re joking…she’s eighteen years younger than you? Oh my god! Cassie, I-” She was laughing in shock, and slight enjoyment at the embarrassment Cassie had written on her face. She glanced around for the nearest person she actually didn’t hate, and her eyes landed on the sweet yet anxious resident.
“Samira! Come here.”
–
It didn’t take long for Samira to hear the entire explanation, and despite the two saying they wouldn’t repeat the confession, Victoria and Dennis heard about it in the last hour of the shift, and then Baran had overheard it from a joke Trinity threw at Cassie. The reaction wasn’t necessarily judgment, but more so shock at the complete change in the more quiet, kind doctor who felt out of place for her age amongst her coworkers.
y/n: ‘how’s working going? my roommates are out with their boyfriends, so I’ll be all alone when you call.’
The lustful undertones in your text was the first thing Cassie picked up on, and she began gathering her belongings from the locker in front of her while typing a response.
Cass <3: ‘Oh yeah? I’m headed to my car now, give me a few hun’
The doctor jumped at the sound of a locker closing and glanced over to see Dana putting on a sweater while now eyeing the other woman in the room.
“You’ve been on your phone a lot these past few shifts, huh? You got someone distracting you?” Cassie chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck after she placed the bag over her shoulder.
“Uhm…you could say so, yeah. I met someone on my trip.”
“The one with Harrison?”
“No, that one is in a few months. Did I tell you? I went to Boston for one of those medical conferences, thought I’d get some inspiration.” The blonde’s eyebrows rose in an ounce of shock and empathetic excitement. She leaned against her locker with her arms crossed over her chest, a teasing grin on her face.
“No way? You know, my daughter actually goes to school in Boston. I wish I knew, I would’ve told her to give you a tour of the city - it’s beautiful.” As nice as Cassie was trying to be, she was desperate to get out of that damn cramped, dim and depressing room so she could call you and take advantage of your temporary loneliness.
“Oh yeah? What is she studying?”
“Medicine. She’s at Tufts, my smart girl.” Cassie paused at that, her breath hitching as her mind went to you instantly. You went to Tufts, you were studying medicine, and you were from here too.
“What’s- what’s her name?” Dana happily grabbed her phone, steadying her glasses over her eyes and pulling up a photo of you smiling widely in scrubs next to your friends. She pointed you out, causing Cassie to gulp at the realization.
“Y/N. My Benji named the twins, and I named her.”
“She’s- she’s definitely gorgeous, yeah. Uhm, if you’ll excuse me, I- I should probably get going.” She murmured a quiet goodbye before rushing out, watching your name as the phone rang. The picture of you smiling across from her at the bar she took you to before leaving the city, the faint hickey still remaining on your neck, shot a sense of guilt through her. Despite her desires, and the genuine love that she knew was forming, even if she was hesitant to tell you.
“Hey Cass! How was work?” She sighed, leaning back against the car seat with her hand tightly gripping the wheel to ease her impeccable need for you.
“I never asked you about your family.” On the other end, you furrowed your brows in confusion, a tiny, awkward smile on your lips. You played with the end of your hair, your thighs rubbing together at the sound of her slightly uneven breathing. The last time you heard her sound like this was when she was on top of you weeks ago, her fingers threading through your walls like it was filled with familiarity, as if she was keepsaking your heart more than anything else.
“What do you mean, baby? I told you about them.”
“You told me you had sisters, and your parents are married. And that you want me to meet them. You didn’t tell me your mom is Dana fucking Evans, Y/N.” The blush in your cheeks drained, and you sat up instantly on your cramped, uncomfortable bed where you spent your nights thinking about Cassie lying next to you.
“How did you-”
“She’s my coworker! Fuck, this is so bad, baby. I’m horrible.”
“You work at PTMC? Why did I think you said something else?” You spoke quietly to yourself before registering how deeply guilty and upset she felt. You couldn’t blame her, you probably would feel just as bad, if not worse, if you were switched. “You’re not horrible, Cassie. It’s just a coincidence, it– it’s not like you knew! And it’s my fault too–”
“No, this isn’t your fault, I’m the one who willingly decided to fuck around with a damn child.”
Your lip quivered at her harshness. She didn’t mean for it to be so hurtful, but how could you not take it that way? Yes, she was the older, more socially mature one, but you are a smart woman who is going to be labeled a doctor in a short time, and she still treated you like you had no idea what you were doing.
“Stop saying that, Cass…You know I’m not a fucking kid and I hate when you act like I am.” She sighed at the sound of your voice, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes. You sounded so upset, so disappointed, all because of her. She glanced at the photo of Harrison she had in her car, remembering the secret she had been keeping from you in fear of losing you. It was selfish, she knew that, and she felt a pit in her stomach every time she had to make an excuse not to call because she was with him, or when she would text late and could imagine you waiting impatiently for her text until you eventually gave up to sleep. But it was yet another reminder of the difference between you two: you had a future planned as a doctor, had roommates you traveled the city with, a loving family back in Pittsburg, and a young, bubbly personality. Cassie on the other hand was a mom (without you even knowing), a resident still unsure if she was going to choose a fellowship or not, and a 43-year-old with a divorce in her books. If your mom knew about her infatuation with you, she would never look at her the same.
“I know you aren’t. Alright? But how do you expect me to feel? I- I feel so…little next to you! I’m nearly fifty and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life, and you? You have everything planned out, handed to you, and see the world like it’s some perfect, hopeful thing!” Her frustrations were coming out over the phone. Not just from this situation, but also from the amount of long shifts she’s had this week, which you didn’t deserve to have passed on down to you.
“I–...So what are you saying? Are you trying to– to end things?” It was silent for a moment, and she heard the quiet sniffle on your end as you wiped your cheeks. Her eyes clenched shut, her jaw tightening at the ultimatum presented to her currently. How was she meant to decide her future with you in the next few seconds when she felt more resentment towards herself than she had throughout the entire relationship.
“I don’t know. I love you…Like spending time with you, I mean. I– I love our talks and getting to know you, that’s what I mean. But…how can I not feel guilty for taking your innocence, in a way? You have so much ahead of you, I shouldn’t hold you back on that.”
You bit your lip to cover the quiet whimpers and pleas that wanted to leave your lips. You didn’t want to give her that, you didn’t think she deserved it, for pleasure or for pain, especially not right now.
“I think the problem here isn’t my age or my innocence, it’s how you feel about yourself on the topic. So, uhm, I’ll– I’ll give you time to think about it and you can just let me know what you decide, I guess. So…Goodnight Cassie.”
Before she could return the saying, you hung up. If you hadn’t, you probably would’ve found yourself still on the phone with her for the next few hours, and you had a lot more things to worry about than how she was. You cared, of course you did, but the only problem is that you care too much, and that’s how you ended up here.
Cassie felt a tear of her own roll down her cheek as she slowly pulled the phone away from her cheek. She cursed herself repeatedly, wiping her face dry and attempting to start her old car that had been on the verge of failing for probably longer than her marriage. It took a moment, but eventually it began to roar in the middle of the parking lot.
She drove home in silence, the only thing heard being the wind breezing against her face and the occasional car engine. She cried without a sound, her mind full of her own weighted debates. She wanted to call you right that second and tell you she was sorry, to tell you that she was choosing you over her own shame. Yet at the same time, she wanted to curl up and die at even the thought of seeing your mother’s face when you brought her home. She knew she had to do something, for both you and her.
(shaky voice) let women on tv have wrinkles (heavy breathing) let women on tv have unkempt hair (cartoonish gulp) let women on tv have loud genuine laughs (eye twitch) let women on tv have lines and shadows around their eyes (my temporal artery bursts and i drop dead)
Cassie walking by the break room and hearing you talking to Javadi about a date you have that night, and how you don’t like them much (because you’re crushing on her) but don’t want to be rude
Story Summary: Summary: When Doctor Cassie McKay attends a medical conference in Boston, she doesn’t expect to meet the love of her life. And what she certainly doesn’t expect is for this mysterious woman to be someone she knows…
Warnings: smut, fingering, cunnilingus, mentions of straight or bisexual R, age gap, slight angst
Word Count: 4503
Cassie checked into the hotel with a content sigh, giving a friendly but firm nod to the receptionist who gave her the key to the one bed room upstairs - the cheapest one they had to offer. She had finally given in to attending a conference for doctors and incoming doctors like her. She had heard murmurs about others on her level deciding on their specialties, and while she honestly did not care for this or that, she thought it was time to give it some thought. She really had no clue what she wanted to focus on, so when she saw an advertisement for a Boston Medical Conference at Tufts University, she put her name down and searched for a hotel. She debated on asking Chad if she could bring Harrison, but then she remembered how bored he got when she brought up anything related to medicine, and decided against it. It would only be a few days, anyway.
She set her stuff into her room and removed her top, opting for a larger shirt that allowed her breasts to be free without showing. Doordash had notified her that her order had been delivered, and she left to grab it, calling her son on the way out, who asked for a bunch of photos of the city.
“I promise you, hun, I will take so many photos that I’ll run out of storage, alright?” She chuckled to herself, a soft smile on her face as she listened to the boy chatter mindlessly, her expression fading slightly as she heard mention of the woman who caused the ankle monitor to go on in the first place. “Dad’s girlfriend is there again? Hm…mine as well move in at that point.” He giggled on the other end, lowering his voice and cupping his hand around the microphone.
“I don’t like her either, don’t worry! I like you a lot more, mom.” Her wrinkles could be seen by any passerby as her lips crinkled up in a grin. Her son had always been so heartwarming, so loving towards his mom. She felt guilty sometimes, worrying that the divorce was impacting him harder than she could work with, but he always found himself running back to her at the end of the day.
–
“Is this seat taken?” The doctor’s head lifted hearing the voice, and she quickly shook her head, her hand coming to gesture to the empty seat as an invite. Her eyes locked with yours, and they widened for a moment, her mouth now open yet struggling to come up with words.
“Uh, no…no, it’s empty. I don’t have anyone sitting with me.” She chuckled dryly at the self-depreciation, immediately cringing on the inside afterwards; but you just grinned, enough to show off the soft smile lines etching your skin that seemed to grace you.
“That makes two of us. All of my friends were too busy with their boyfriends to come.” You rolled your eyes, then extended your hand. “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”
She took your hand, a fine line making its way to her lips as she shot a quick glance at your clothes. You wore a pair of long, black dress pants accompanied by a sleeveless blouse, and you held a suit jacket in your free arm. You looked professional, mature, and beautiful.
“I’m McKay. Well, Cassie, actually. I’m so used to saying ‘Doctor McKay’, I guess.”
“Oh, where do you work? Is it around here?” Cassie shook her head, scoffing lightheartedly at your innocent comment.
“God no, I would end up stuck on the trains having no clue where to go. I’m from Pittsburg, I only came for the conference.”
“No way, I’m from Pittsburg!” You excitedly exclaimed, and Cassie’s face reddened a single shade at your adorable comment. You seemed genuinely happy to know someone, even if you had only met a moment ago, and the only ties you two shared were the invisible strings holding you down to a city.
“Really? I feel like I would have remembered a face like yours.” She knew it was a slightly bold step, and seeing the small furrow of your brows made her hesitate, but when your calm voice returned, her heart settled back down to a normal beat.
“What do you mean by that, Cassie?” God, the way you said her name…It was different than when her parents scolded her, or when her friends called her over, or when Chad would sigh out the name as he saw her at his doorstep. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she was desperate to hear it again; if it wouldn’t scare you off, she would have asked you to repeat the title over and over.
Before she could respond, a loud tapping of a microphone was heard and silence quickly fell upon the crowd. She gave you one last glance before looking at the speaker. She leaned over a little bit and whispered quietly,
“I’ll tell you later, Y/N.”
–
After an hour and a half of a few different professionals, who everyone in the room besides Cassie seemed to know, came to ‘entertain’ the large group of doctors, she honestly couldn’t count the number of yawns she let out, and the amount of tiny grins she showed when you did the same or would chuckle at a stupid joke the presenter made. You didn’t seem as bored as her though, you seemed genuinely infatuated with the knowledge they expressed, and it made her all the more excited to finally talk to you.
“So, how’d you enjoy it?” Doctor McKay asked as she watched you and others begin to stand, and the fear settled in of you leaving, like any normal person would, which would leave her stuck with the regret of not saying something.
“It was great! When Doctor McConwell spoke about the genetic testing her and her team conducted on the mice? I mean, how did she even think of that? I can’t even come up with research topics to focus on.” You huffed out with a slight tone of jealousy lingering, but there was clearly no harm or despise in your words.
“Yeah, I’m the same way. I can’t decide on a speciality like everyone around me is doing…I don’t know, I feel like I just want to stick to the basics? If that’s even possible.” The older woman shrugged, fiddling with the pamphlet in her hands with photos of the attendees. You looked at her with a sense of sympathy and understanding, but also connection.
“I get what you mean. I have to pick what I want to specialize in for the rest of my life in a few months. The medical field is, well, a lot more pressure than my mom made me believe.”
“Your moms a doctor?”
“Oh, no, she’s a nurse. But, you know, a doctor wouldn’t exist without a nurse. She kind of inspired me to do this stuff, which I love and hate her for.” The two of you didn’t even realize you were some of the only people left in the auditorium, and only when Cassie saw the janitor entering behind you did she pause, swallowing a sense of pride as her voice wavered.
“Hey, uhm…would you want to grab a coffee? Maybe you can show me a good place around here I need to try.”
As you two walked to the coffee shop, the hot weather caused your jacket to stay on your arm which revealed the tracing of very light but noticeable muscles, the ones that show hard work but don’t radiate jackass. You two delved into topics around your careers, your life, your time in each respected city.
“So you go to school at Tufts? You must be a genius, huh?” You chuckled, a shrug coming from your shoulders as a shade of red coated your cheeks. You opened the door for the older woman and she thanked you quietly as she sighed in relief at the feel of the air conditioning hitting her hot body.
“I guess you could say that. I’m honestly not that smart though, I just…love to learn. Especially when it comes to the human body.” She hummed, her eyes lingering on you as you stared at the menu. When you asked her if she knew what she wanted and looked at her, you noticed her gaze had already been on you, and it made you look down shyly. She grinned softly at that, letting her hand hover over your back to guide you closer to the register.
“Hello! Um, may I get the small matcha tea? Oh, and the chocolate croissant too?” The girl behind the counter nodded, typing in the items into the screen before looking at Cassie, who towered over you by a few inches.
“I’ll just have what she’s having. But make the matcha large please? Thanks.” She dug through her pocket and pulled out a few bills, all wrinkled and probably accidentally washed in her last cycle of laundry. She didn’t make a lot, she averaged minimum wage working as a resident and had a son to take care of, so she came home with close to nothing. But this mattered to her more than having to cook dinner rather than order pizza a few nights this month.
When you two sat down, you didn’t seem to notice the watch on her wrist shifting from the AM to PM, and the workers clearly whispered about you two since they just wanted to close, and you were the only ones remaining. Eventually, the two of you left, loud laughs that caused her back to crinkle over and her hand come to your side to hold for balance being elicited on the way out. It felt like you had known this woman for years rather than hours, and her presence alone created an atmosphere of openness and excitement.
“I can’t believe a patient asked you out, you said yes, and then you stood him up! I mean, the violations are counting up, Cass!” Four legs came to a slowing halt in front of her hotel building, and her obnoxious laughs drifted into a content chuckle. Her hands had been comfortably holding your hips as if they belonged there like an accessory to your outfit. Your body practically molded into hers, made to be her keepsake.
“Well…this is my stop.” Cassie immediately regretted her words as she watched your lips turn downwards, clearly trying to hide your disappointment over a woman you barely knew, but felt like you had spent a lifetime with.
“Oh. Well, I better let you go then since it’s getting dark.”
“Yeah.” She paused, glancing at the pavement and licking her lips, her mind battling itself before she finally spoke again. “Can I get your number? Sorry, I just, uhm, I haven’t really enjoyed someone’s company so much in however many years.” Her nerves floated into dust the moment she saw your expression lift, and your hand eagerly finding your back pocket where your phone rested. She had never been so jealous of technology…
“I was hoping you’d ask! Here, I’ll read it to you and then send me a test message, okay?” You two spent the next minute exchanging contacts, ensuring multiple times it worked in fear of losing the person you just spent the past few hours bonding like childhood friends with.
“There, saved as Cassie. So, should I,” You gestured behind you, where Cassie could see a few taxis, a bar, and the dimming sun. “Let you be?” The doctor slowly nodded, despite her hope that you’d stay. Even just another second, it was worth getting to admire you.
“Your place is probably too far for you to walk in the dark, and I don’t trust taxis.” It wasn’t even dark, and she had never cared enough to worry about the safety of the cars she got in; it only mattered if someone like Harrison, or you, was the one getting in it.
“You’re right. Where do you suggest I go?” The teasing smirk on your face caused her breath to hitch, and she licked her lips once more before guiding you inside the hotel lobby without a word. You giggled anxiously, yet filled with excitement, as she attempted to open her door in one quick motion. She didn’t slam you against the wall, or kiss you right away, she simply took a few steps forward and cupped your cheek, her eyes boring into yours as her pupils dilation drew you in, acting as a form of hypnosis.
“Is it okay if I kiss you?” You could only nod, and she gently guided your hair to rest behind your ears, slowly aligning her lips with yours, followed by a breath of relief. Your hands nervously hovered over her biceps, and as her tongue grazed your lower lip, it felt as if you got a glance into Heaven’s Gate.
“Fuck, your lips are so soft, baby.” She murmured, instantly returning to her previous actions as one of her hands came to cup your lower cheek. You moaned quietly into the kiss, and you finally felt confident enough to truly hold her, rather than just graze her body.
“Mm, you must kiss a lot of girls in school, huh?” She asked as she pulled away, an unamused chuckle leaving her. She barely knew you, but the idea of you doing this with anyone else settled a deep hatred and ache in her bones.
“No…I- I haven’t.” You shyly admitted, your doe eyes so trusting and loving as they looked into hers. Her lips parted in a breathless whimper, and her thumb traced over your pantline.
“Yeah? Too busy burying your nose in books to worry about other girls, huh? Good girl.” She watched her praise elicit a low moan past your lips, and she grinned at that, fiddling with the zipper between her fingers before slowing lowering it.
“Have you ever been with a girl, honey? Or am I your first?” She could sense your nerves and guided your face back to proper alignment with hers. “Don’t be scared, I’m not here to judge you.”
“I…I’ve only ever been with a man.” She nodded, and despite her curiosity and ounce of jealousy, her warm, peaceful response comforted you.
“That’s alright, I understand. You know, I haven’t been with a woman in God knows how long,” She bit her lip, watching her fingers reach the button of your pants now and latch it open, your white panties now being visible if she looked eagerly enough; which she definitely was. “I had a husband many years ago. I thought it was what I wanted, but really I was just lost.”
“How long were you married?” Your breath hitched as her cold fingers trailed beneath your shirt, slowly lifting it enough to guarantee your comfort.
“Eight years. Eight long fucking years.” You nodded dumbly, still grasping onto her biceps and she began to remove your shirt. She cursed under her breath at the sight of your matching bra, and her thumb caressed your nipple, brushing it into a hardened peak. The thought of her age hadn’t even crossed your mind, and yours didn’t for her either. All you knew was that, in this moment, you couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Can- can I kiss your neck?” She bit her lip and nodded, shifting her head to the side to grant better access.
“You never have to ask me, alright?” The choice of words made a shiver run down your spine. ‘Don’t’ would imply this time, and that it could be a one time sexual encounter. But ‘never’ offered the implication of more, that there could be another meeting, another night shared between you two that starts like this.
Your lips trailed along her neck, careful not to leave any marks, but with your growing confidence, your hands found her pants and began removing them. You both ended up bare in a matter of minutes, and your back now rested on the bed as she hovered over you, kissing down your chest to your perky breasts. They eagerly awaited, and the moment her tongue brushed the sensitive peak, a deep groan came from your chest.
“Holy shit! I- I’ve never had someone-...do that.”
“Oh, you poor thing. No boy has ever licked these perfect nipples?” Her voice held a sympathetic character that you couldn’t identify as one of mocking or sincerity. You responded, though, with a shake of your head and a low whimper.
“No. I, uhm, only I’ve touched them like- like that.” She nodded, her eyes holding your gaze as she drunkenly suckled on the skin, enough to possibly bruise the next day. When she kissed down to your core, she left ounces of her love across each inch of skin, grinning against the softness as nuzzling against your thigh as if it was a personal pillow. She exaggeratedly moaned when her tongue came in contact with your clitoris, and the pillows on either side of her head squeezed against her anxiously.
“Oh my god! Can you lick it again? Like- fuck! Keep doing that, please, I need it.” Your breathing patterns shifted into a heavier one as she followed your command, her eyes closing in contentment while her tongue found your awaiting hole. She could feel the tightness around the muscle, peacefully sighing as she welcomed your taste in her mouth. It was overwhelming in the best way imaginable, and her nose brushing your clit with every thrust of her tongue made your hips eagerly chase her, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as one hand gripped her soft locks of hair, and the other held the sheets as if it was a tug of war game.
“Cassie, please! I think-” You couldn’t bear to finish the sentence, but the woman between your legs knew exactly what you needed to say, and she nodded in reassurance, mumbling into your cunt her approval. You covered your mouth and felt an overwhelming crash throughout your body, a loud moan escaping you despite the coverage while Cassie hungrily lapped up the juices your body was releasing. She was hungry for you, there was a deep ache in her entire body that felt the need to eat you whole just for a deeper taste of you. When she finally pulled away due to your whining, her chin was coated and her lips were parted in a heavenly bliss.
“Holy shit, baby,” She whispered, inching up to rest her head on your stomach. “I’m so fucking turned on right now. I need more of you.”
Her fingers brushed over your pulsing clit, causing you to jerk in shock. She brought her mouth to yours, resulting in a sloppy kiss. Her tongue slobbered onto yours, your mouth parting at the intrusion of her middle finger in your tight cunt.
“Fuck! That’s- that’s so good, Cass, please don’t stop. Please, I want more.” You whined, and she grinned at the plea, trailing her lips to your breasts where she left sloppy marks of her saliva on darkening skin that would surely become a hickey. A second digit joined, and she curled them at an aching pace, yet it was not enough.
“I only brought me, Y/N, I- I don’t have my strap with me.” She didn’t even own a strap, the closest she had was a small dildo she occasionally attempted to use when her son was away and she had worked a long shift, leading her pent up body to cry for release. But the thought of not giving you enough, of you possibly looking back on this night and cursing yourself for sleeping with someone who couldn’t even satisfy you, made guilt fill her lungs. Yet, despite her fear, you softly shook your head, cupping her cheeks to ensure her eyes remained on yours.
“You’re more than enough for me…just- please, give me another finger.” Your helpless yet hopeful expression made her shudder, and a third, then a fourth, finger entered your cunt. She glanced down to watch them slide in and out of you, admiring the way your hips thrusted to match her pace. Your eyes followed hers, and the both of you moaned in unison, your grip tight against her skin.
“Oh, look at that, you’re about to cum again, aren’t you? Yeah, I know you need it, baby girl, fucking cum all over me.” She nodded along with you, feeling your thighs shake and quiver as you met your release once again. You became inaudible, your high bringing a blank to your brain, and all you could think about was her. The woman above you, who you just met today, making you cum sinfully.
“Oh my god, Cassie, that-” You paused, searching for words that you couldn’t think of, “was fucking amazing. Thank you.” Your voice went shy, and she kissed down along your neck, murmuring words of affirmation between them.
“Thank you for letting me be your first time, I know that’s not easy to give up.” She kissed you gently, before a teasing smirk crossed her face. “Was I better than the guys’ you’ve slept with?” You rolled your eyes and laughed, and the thought that she was causing that look made her lips curl up, her cheeks wrinkling joyfully.
“Trust me, you’re much better than the one guy I slept with. Much, much better.”
Eventually, she came to rest beside you, nervously taking your hand in hers and kissing the back of it a few times, hoping deep down her lips would imprint enough so you could never forget this moment.
“I feel bad, I didn’t even make you cum.” Cassie blew you off, wrapping her free arm around you to pull you closer. Your head rested right next to her bare chest, and she caressed your hand softly still.
“I was focused on you, not me.”
“I know, but it’s still not fair. I just don’t know if I’d be that good, I’ve never really done what you did.” She nodded in understanding, her eyes searching yours only to find embarrassment and shame. She frowned, leaning forward an inch to kiss your forehead.
“I’ll teach you everything you need to know, okay? Next time, I’ll let you return the favor, I promise.” The implication for more, that you could see her again, warmed your chest. A soft pink dusted your cheeks.
“Okay. Next time. When do you head back home?” She sighed at the thought. She loved her city, her son, her coworkers, everyone and everything tied her down to Pittsburg. She didn’t even expect to like Boston, but here she was, the day passing by in seconds because she felt so at home.
“I leave in two days. I thought I’d give myself a day or two to wander the city.”
“I have class tomorrow at 12:00, if you’re willing to wait. We could meet up and maybe head to a baseball game, or walk around. Anything really, as long as I get to see you again.” She hummed, already imagining the things you two could do together. Maybe she could convince her boss she caught something on the plane, and had to stay home an extra day, when really she’d just be here with you. But she already purchased the ticket home, and she didn’t have enough money to skip the flight, or pay for the fourteen-dollar insurance that would offer her a refund.
“That sounds perfect.” You seemed content with her answer, yet she paused in realization, her eyebrows furrowing together. “Wait, you’re a fourth-year med student, right? How-...how old are you, Y/N?”
“I’m twenty-five. Why?” Her eyes widened and she instantly sat up, which, for a moment, made you worry that she might’ve regretted the time you cherished. “Is that a problem?”
“Is that a problem? Y/N, I’m fourty-three! I started college when you started walking!” She groaned at the thought, rubbing her forehead at the sheer disgust she felt for herself.
“Well, I thought you knew! I didn’t realize you were that much older, I thought maybe you were pushing mid-thirties, I don’t know!” Your panic made her curse herself, did you regret this? Did you think she did?
“Look, I’m sorry, today was probably one of the best days I’ve ever had, but I can’t do this to you. I’m not going to take away your youth and make myself feel like some freak preying on a college student.”
“First off, I’m a med student, not a college student. And second off, you don’t get to decide that! I’m a legal adult, you’re not a bad person for making a move that I clearly wanted you to make, and you don't all of a sudden get to treat me like a dumb kid who doesn’t know what’s best for herself.”
“I never said I think you’re dumb but you are basically a kid! Compared to me, at least.” She sighed, shaking her head and anxiously gathering your clothes across the room. “Trust me, you don’t want to be messing around with some forty-year-old, not when you’ve barely even lived your life.” Your anger and defensiveness slowly shifted into a sense of understanding and sympathy. You reached out to take her hand, and it made her flinch slightly. She looked down at you with a pained expression, and it made your heart clench.
“Is this about me being too young or you worrying you’re too old?” She shrugged, biting her inner cheek and struggling to meet your gaze. “Cassie, I have never enjoyed someone’s company as much as yours. Okay, so you’re a little older than me, but be honest with me, did you enjoy today? Did you feel the way I felt when you kissed me, or when we got kicked out of the coffee shop because we were talking so long? Don’t just throw this away because of a little age gap.” She snorted at that last remark, shaking her head as she fiddled with your hand that held hers.
“It’s more than just a little age gap, Y/N. But…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy today and my time with you. I don’t just kiss anyone.” You gently guided her back on top of you, putting your arms around her neck as she buried her face against yours, inhaling the sweet scent you illuminated.
“We don’t have to rush anything, or put a label on this. We can just be two friends who like to go out and have sex. And when you head back home, you can decide if you want to wait for me or forget I ever existed.” Cassie nodded, only pulling back to kiss you on the lips, feeling the soft plush of your skin against hers. When she parted, she let her forehead rest against yours, her eyes shutting in sheer satisfaction.
Summary: When Doctor Cassie McKay attends a medical conference in Boston, she doesn’t expect to meet the love of her life. And what she certainly doesn’t expect is for this mysterious woman to be someone she knows…
Hello everyone 😛 it’s been awhileee I’ve been so busy with classes and work but I want to get back into writing again, so lowkey one day I think imma just write a bunch and slowly post one at a time, mainly requests but also some ideas of my own 😁
also maybe this is crazy of me but contrary to what ppl find hot for some reason- i dont even think cassie would smoke a cigarette. like first of all shes still counting the days of her sobriety after 9 years. secondly shes so fucking scared of something making her lose control that i do not think she touches substances whatsoever. im well aware many addicts replace their addiction with smoking but not mckay. a beer is actually crazy to me she would not fucking do that. these people clearly havent experienced addiction & it shows
oh i agree 100% i dont think she'd touch a cigarette at all. as someone who struggles with addiction, i like to think she has a very strong sweet tooth to replace all that....im kind of passionate about this bc ive been struggling recently and i like to think about her trying to help me >__< might sound so fucking pathetic but sometimes it comforts me
The biggest pet peeve of mine is when people write an addict like McKay or even Langdon and says they’re drinking or is at a bar. If you’re addicted to drugs and you’re in rehab, you still can’t drink because you can get addicted to that too. When you’re addicted to alcohol, you still can’t do drugs because you can easily get addicted to that too. Addiction is an actual illness that I’ve witnessed around me and I wish people would do more research on it if they really want to write a story about an addict 😭🙏
So it’s just another day on tumblr when a beloved mutual suddenly DMs you (or a random stranger) claiming that someone impersonated you and has scammed them out of (insert money amount here it changes often) be it art or crypto or because of content related to CP. They tell you they’ve accidentally reported you by mistake and that the only way to clear up this issue is to contact someone on discord,Microsoft teams, or a random email account. They even show a screenshot claiming your account was reported for fraudulent activity and action must be taken within 24hrs or else your blog will be terminated. You just need to contact the “official” report dispute discord account in a timely manner and clear everything up or contact the ‘official’ Microsoft teams account!
You panic! You don’t want to lose your blog so you immediately DM the discord account (or the Microsoft Teams account) who begins asking you questions before ultimately asking you to change your email address to theirs so they can ‘fix’ the flag on your account. All is well, and you assume that the false report is going to be cleared up…Right?
Unfortunately no. That’s not what happens.
You get locked out of your account and now the scammer logs in as you and starts to send the same message to anyone and everyone they find. The same message that now you accidentally reported the receiver and you need them to contact the same discord account to repeat the same process over and over again and you yourself seem to have no way of accessing your blog to stop the phishing. But don’t fear! You can fix this! Just contact the real support email and let them know you’ve been hacked and give them any information they may ask to confirm your the real owner of the blog.
Here are things to keep in mind:
- There is no official report dispute discord account ran by tumblr that isn’t a thing and has never been.
- Any discord account claiming to an official tumblr report dispute staff account is a scammer.
- You do not need to ever contact Discord for a tumblr related issue no matter how official the screenshot looks.
- This scam can affect anyone, even your friends. Keep them informed and if you can contact them offsite to let them know they’ve been hacked please do so they can get their account back faster.
- Reports are handled through the official tumblr tech support line and will never be through discord. (Link is to tumblr help center)
- Support center is not: Gmail,yahoo,outlook,Microsoft teams,discord,etc.
Got a message exactly like this literally minutes ago and could tell it was fishy. Plz don’t be gullible and almost fall for this like me 😭🙏 I have it in my bio “please DO NOT DM ME” bc I do not feel comfortable privately chatting with anyone I do not know, so plz do not reach out to me unless it is through asks (especially if it’s a scam 😐)
