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@backto87
— literate && individual portrayal of Jeremy Fitzgerald . hightly selective . MDNI !! ( art credit to ©leaky-heart and ©toonamayo ) | carrd
Jeremy is post - bite . he is a closeted homosexual and trans - masculine . pronouns are he / him . mention of time - period typical homophobia and transphobia may occasionally apply to this blog . this blog is also strictly MDNI . all shipping is 21+ .
☆ — well you don't know me ... but I know you ...
a lit / descriptive portrayal of an original character , NORTH designed for SciFi and horror . MDNI .
© likeafunerall
slaps @regalsupernovae down on the table in front of you .
I made my oc idea into a blog . please be gentle . this is my first tumblr oc .
Why did you call me? I can't save you
I'm going through it mentally . I'm going to be here mostly for distractions and to project a little . otherwise I'm not up much for ooc talk . 💜 I'll reply to ims when I'm a little more stable . I'm not ignoring anyone .
i just think that
i think that
❛ i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet. ❜ mangle-tangle <3
ask meme | @muutos
it was supposed to be a relief . the day that someone came . stepped into the back . and told Jeremy that sooner rather than later the mangle would be decomissioned .
at first it was .
he felt a feeling of relief as the words were told to him . there wouldn't be any more dangers from the horrid machine . but that feeling was short lived .
he felt a pang of . regret , perhaps ? taking his time to close down for the day . it seemed almost a ritual . looking to the tangled limbs . or having a conversation with it .
the anger was there but it seemed ... faceable . today , though . when he went to put the cash in the back and lock away the valuables for the night . he heard it simply .
" I don't want to go . I'm not ready to say goodbye yet . "
it hung heavy in the air . the former night guard turning towards the mess on the ground .
" you fear death ? when did that start ? I thought you'd find it a mercy . "
he says it ... softly . asking in a way that sought to understand the change .
THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A MERCY. . . . they thought, but. . . . maybe they simply wanted to be left alone. left in peace, if they were not to be fixed.
jeremy was their only hope. however, they did not feel hopeful. as much as it could, mixed with the agony. constant, bone chilling.
the kind of pain it took to admit. mangle lives with blood on white teeth every day. their daily chats, the sight of him. amongst the only one they see, anymore.
perhaps it got attached. not once since bite dubbed that of eighty seven, had the mangle so much as touched the one harmed so severely. besides a near miss.
but who's counting?
"no. i've always been scared. that's all we've known." mangle speaks, their head moving only after speech with distinct sounds. . . . like a camera zooming in on something.
"i don't want to die before having a chance to live." . . .
their eye lowers, lidded by plastic. ears lowered too, like the kicked dog they are.
" . . . will you stay with me, a while?"
and if an ounce of humanity is bestowed upon him . let his heart ache for the flea crushed beneath his boot .
he could only frown . it was pathetic , really . the way the creature spoke like it wanted to beg for it's life . and it was ... sort of . it's voice sounded so broken atop it's already broken systems . straining to be heard by him .
maybe he could help . ask the owner just what would happen once they were shut down and suggest perhaps trying to fix the flaw rather than discarding it .
I mean . this thing is afraid of death . does that not make it alive ? he thought to himself as a hand fell to his side . new life was created within these walls and he's only just begun to see it .
that should be preserved ... fixed and perfected . perhaps a new body ?
there was talk of a new place opening . maybe such programming would be useful ...
none of this he says out loud . but instead he nods . slipping to the floor to sit crossed legged mere inches from the animatronic . hands folded in his lap .
" yeah . I can stay . "
@muutos is out here destroying my feelings actually .
disorient it does .
hearing is lost on the right side , since the bite . no device , though he has been offered such - is worn . ( he can't afford it ) . but yet the one ear that does pick up that static rings , and a hand lifts to cover it . stepping back and away .
he shouldn't have shouted .
then it's moving . and Jeremy doesn't find it in him to leave . he'd been told at the appointments that followed ; that one may experience failures in judgement . irrational decisions ... survival instinct all but null . emotions were a trivia . none he could control when lucky enough to feel them ... all of what made him human sat in the bloodstains he could still see in the maw of that mechanical beast .
do you think that I am not in constant agony , it asks . and Jeremy continues to stall . leaning his back against the front of the desk cabinet . he sinks to sit against it .
hell with it . let it finish what it began . if it bit him again ...
" I don't , " he says . this time a lot softer as eyes watch it's labourous crawl . it once moved so much quicker . lurching and jerking . it bit him so quickly ... this is almost pathetic to watch .
" the kids loved you . they wanted to partake in building something as fantastic as you ... to learn and be a part of something , " he explained . head tilting back against the desk behind him .
" I had so little . this place was one of so few happy memories and you took that ... and now you're left in heaps back here ... how is that comforting to you ? "
MANGLE MAKES THEIR FINAL ASCENT, its last remaining piece of identity thrust forth . . . mighty jaws snap.
. . . mere inches from causing any actual further harm. emitting scream, echoing through empty closet. similar to death wail that had elicited on day of said bite.
refrained. same pathetic way of lurching forth seen by jeremy reflected in the way he sat on the ground in defeat. their head bobs backward, a tilt as their long neck cranes somewhat.
"don't you?" they ask. the remainder of their body slinks forth, its single eye jarring as it peers into the man's eyes -- cut by another shuttering sound of blinking. their supposedly jolly &. smiling maw better seen with their teeth resting 'pon one another.
face turns away suddenly. "how could they love me? when all they did was make me a monster?" mangle's down-turned face angles (near shyly) upward towards jeremy. cornering him, there.
lonely. so, so lonely.
"nobody understands how much it hurts. how confusing &. wrong i feel." their jaw swings with creaks in speech.
they cannot believe him as much as jeremy cannot in kind. though they had never been given leeway to speak, like this. it takes the opportunity.
"-- &. it is comforting, because at least it can never happen again." a moment passes before they bring their head forth once again. "they can't get to me, back here."
same heap, different location. might apologize if it could. but it does not.
. . . "at least you got to make good memories, before losing your identity."
shaky hands lift once more . cowering to cover his ears as the screaming agonized damaged drums . it sounded wrong . painful . a sound he'd rather soon forget . reminding him of the beasts descent upon his skull .
he didn't flinch away when the jaws closed . but rather flinched when the sound errupted form wherever the voice box was .
his hands only withdrew as it turned away and he exhaled . listening intently to what it said . and he drew a silence then .
TW AHEAD / ABUSE & TRANSPHOBIA
it clicked . for but a moment . how confusing and wrong I feel . losing your identity .
he couldn't respond to that . not for a moment . as words like that clung to bitter memory . because the damn mangle was right . their similarities did evolve even before the bite . feeling wrong in the body he didn't get to decide on . looked at and treated like a monster for reclaiming an identity he never had ... the confusion and the pain of growing up under another that would hurt him in fear of his simple existence ... struggling to wander with aching limbs and bruised pride . questioning what he did to deserve it . and why no one interfered .
" fuck you , " he muttered . lips quaking as a finger raised . his head sinking to his knees . defeated .
they were right . they weren't so different . infact they both were quite the same . damaged beings with no identity . trying to widdle their way back to reclaiming what was taken . lashing out just so someone could understand .
" I hate this place ... "
I guess we're both stuck in it ... is the part that goes unsaid .
can you believe this shit ? @fivenapsatfreddys is bullying me .
You're so annoying, shut the fuck up.
you're LITERALLY going to have to make me , Mikey .
You can LITERALLY get fucked, jer. I'm going to sleep.
I'm starting to think there's a medical reason you sleep so damn much .
The medical reason is that humans need to sleep, jeremy.
medical schmedical you have to be the only one who looks as tired as you do yet sleeps enough for the both of us .
❝ Don’t be shy. ❞ from Dave :3
prompt | @trapton
blonde hair falls into his face as his head shakes . the little bit of snow that Utah does see having been caught in the shag . " I have far outstretched your kindness , Dave , " he offered with a chuckle as he stepped inside .
" thanks for letting me in early . "
he's able to outrun the incoming snow . should be done by the time he gets off work . but getting to work as it comes down would be an adventure .
" what has you here so early anyways ? it's over an hour before open . "
he paused . face dropping to concern . " did something happen to the night guard ? "
𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙻𝙸𝙳𝙳𝙴𝙳 as ever while jeremy enters the building. stepping aside to let him in, with a wide gesture of his extended arm.
he returns to re-lock the door, or else some busy-bodies will try and enter before the doors open. . . . his smirk remaining SEMI - COCKED, with hair shrouding lowered eyes.
"oh -- there's no breaking my kindness, jeremy. no matter how far it might be extended." he rubs his hands over his hips when he turns, shaking hair from his face with chin raised. still smiling in the meantime, while hands rest upon his hips. knuckles curled with pads of fingers pressed to uniform trousers.
he quite likes the snow. or, there was a time in which he had. though his life has been CONSUMED by his jealousy, and his rampant -- sick desires for VIOLENCE.
his brows narrow, mouth closed in a slight smirk in confusion. "the night guard? no -- of course not. though he did quit, unfortunately. which brings me to why i'm here early." william replies, inhaling. either arm extending out on either side, before falling against his thighs.
"i was covering the night shift before the new guard begins this evening.."
the smile remains . gentle and genuine as feet stamp loudly against the entrance to the establishment . feet kicking off salt and snow onto the welcome mat . what little had already fallen that morning clung to clothing he so desperately tried to keep dry before entering . not wanting to make a mess of the place before opening .
" you say that . but I'll continue to apologize for accepting it , " he jokes . slipping his boots off to switch to his shoes . the first of many shifts which he would have to switch between converse and shoes that could stand getting a bit wet .
Jeremy hums then . tying the pastel coloured lace of his left sneaker with the shake of his head . " another one gone , hm ? we'll have to start taking bets on how long the new guy will last , " he jokes . straightening once more . smirking Dave's direction as he did such .
your memory will be preserved in jpegs and old chat messages ...
"This isn't you."
prompt || @revvnant
“ given the severity of your circumstances you may find yourself taking risks you wouldn’t usually . with a bit of guidance you may be able to recognize the patterns in this behaviour but overall it may be best you remain vigilant of others around you … ” ———
the doctor should have saved her breath , is what Jeremy thought to himself in these moments . he wasn’t a ragefull person . not in all his years ; rather his mother often would tell him how gentle of a soul he was as she dabbed a soft rag to his split lip . how she admired his smile and big green eyes glistening with joy in the face of the life they led . that smile he kept even past the day his little sister went missing . on and on until … ‘87
one may say it was a blessing . the way he no longer allowed the kindness to turn him into a doormat . standing up for himself where through the years his friends would stand at his place defending him with proud chests and curled fists . he found a fight for himself . in a momentary deep breath , he needn’t think about what he was doing and the shouting came . the fists .
such was the same that night .
a shift coming to a close , Jeremy would sit outside and await the arrival of the night guard . to hand over the keys and inform Mike of the day that just came to a close . often taking that rare time to see his friend for the few minutes between their shifts . to wish him luck . knowing he would need it .
he heard the laughter first . then came the taunting .
two men nearly twice his size , but about his age passed behind the establishment . the smell of alcohol recognizable from even where the bottle blonde sat . shouting complete nonsense to one another . Jeremy tilting his head down to avoid making eye contact with them . he glanced to his watch , and his foot bounced against the metal step .
“ y’hear me ? hey ! blonde i’m talkin’ t’ya . “
fuck .
Jeremy’s eyes glanced up and without thinking he uttered a very sharp “ what . “
a bit of laughter escaped the men . hands up in mock surrender . muttering incoherently once more about Jeremy’s attitude .
he wouldn’t even remember what the tipping point was .
rather , he was on his feet staring down who men twice his size and muscle weight just about ready to pounce . the risk of not just walking away not even a passing thought in his mind . he could be killed . and such was apparent when one flashed the sharpened edge of a pocket knife his direction , warning him to back away .
it was worth the risk ; his anger told him . hands balled at his side - the first swing began .
and fell short at the hand upon his shoulder . body whipping around and making eye contact with the person connected to said hand .
“ this isn’t you . “
this song . that is all
Send “This isn’t you” for your muse to try and stop my muse from doing something reckless.
gives a shaky thumbs up . nevermind . I'm not ready to post my art or rant about my OCs on tumblr yet . discord maybe .
sometimes I think about how someone with damage to the prefrontal cortex can easily be manipulated into a whole new belief system . for example suddenly become super religious .
holds Jeremy . he's literally learning how to be human again . how to be individual because those core decisions and morals made based on experience are just . gone .
