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hypereal abject egregore

[baeddelicto]

I have nevr rlly had access to non binary or femboy or genderqueer or woman or transwoman in any settn whr ppl are interacting with me and perceiving me physically. I have gotten sum anarchists to use they for me but that was a political indicator more than anything. But the only words i have ever rlly layed sufficient claim to are faggot and sissy. Im ok with this tbh. In alot of ways i dnt have a dog in this fight but i am still mistaken as something resembling a violent dog.

Iv seen ppl fight over labels and pronouns and misgendrn for yrs. Draw a line here, a border there. The scramble for the abject continues and we love helping them along.

I continue to think it is a discursive plague or better yet inoculation that is injected into the festering wound of the collective unconscious that the transmisogynized attempt to carve our way out of lik pus leaving a wound. The inert ejecta altho no longer infectious is thrown into the waste bin all the same.

[assaultmystic-archive]

its worth it. i wont tell you its not worth it, i couldnt. but leaving your family is awful. suddenly, explaining your past to anyone the whole of it is smeared with this baseline unreality. i’ll tell them how it was bad and i wont believe myself without someone to argue that it wasnt. i’ll not tell them the bits that were okay, nice even, the good days. save myself the trouble of inviting misunderstanding like that, let every good memory live only in me. let it rot there. i hate myself, still, for “misrepresenting” what would have killed me if i let it. i keep this tension constantly of knowing i havent got a back up others have, nowhere to go, no last port of call. it exhausts me, weakens me, feel myself start to circle the drain, any day now….

mostly i just feel guilty. i feel guilty every day but really i dont know the guilt from the apprehension, the idea i might have to see them again, might have to account for myself. might have to be told that i am so wrong, so entitled, so cruel, even one more time.

sure, sure. the family must be destroyed. i have a headache.

[assaultmystic]

i think some of you have fooled yourselves into thinking that your sexualisation of coercive state power is a sexualisation of communism. do you really spend a lot of time when youre masturbating to being forced to lick the boot of woman in greatcoat reminding yourself of the armband she's not wearing?

[baeddelicto]

im glad more folks are being critical of torey peters. i hadnt really thot of a critique of some binarist perspective probably because i only read infect and just the synopsis of detrans baby was enough for me. she has other problems is what im saying. i would have put this in tags but funnily enough op has me blocked.

[agpsoundsystem]

DIYHRT.Market is a community-driven project to provide accurate and up-to-date information to the trans DIY community about the sourcing of

The DIY HRT Directory 2.0

The DIY HRT Directory offers transgender individuals comprehensive guidance on safely performing DIY hormone replacement therapy, including

Frankly, I don’t really see it as being particularly responsible to share the news of HRT Cafe’s demise without making it abundantly clear that (better!) alternatives are still available. If you haven’t started already, start stocking up on HRT. Try and keep enough to last you for a few years with some extra for the people in your life who don’t have the means to access HRT themselves.

[o-fantasma]

sometime far in the future my disciples will tell that it is written, many polyamorists still harbour the family in the secret places of their heart but this shall be a crude distortion of my original teachings - quite aside from the fact that the heart is secret to all but god alone and that assimilation is a crude metaphor premised on racial envy and reactionary nostalgia more to the point, etymologically, ‘secret’ is related via the latin to the latter verb, ‘to secrete’ in origin; to divide, separate, set apart (cf. ‘holiness’, pp. 1302) when something is inside, the fun part is getting it out again

[baeddelicto]

One of the aspirants might ask:

When all of you that is familiar is secreted away, what would that parsing make of you?

We spell our secrets and they spell us. Take turns sitting down and doing the work of enumeration and proliferation. This spoils it, the secret, us, the territory that we dig into and spill over. So we sit in our trenches sharing faded photos and love letters, songs and stories.

If this is where men are made, then what is made of those who are pushed over the top, who never really leave no man's land?

[baeddelicto]

whether you agree or not the concept that spiro could have some progestin like effects and progesterone makes you retain water, gain wieght, fucks with insulin resistance etc is lik pretty funny

[baeddelicto]

i love when a study says "of borderline significance"

yes im sure they do find it significant i know i do...

[iteration-dave]

Proton Mail Helped FBI Unmask Anonymous ‘Stop Cop City’ Protester

A court record reviewed by 404 Media shows privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail handed over payment data related to a Stop Cop City em

"Privacy-focused email provider Proton Mail provided Swiss authorities with payment data that the FBI then used to determine who was allegedly behind an anonymous account affiliated with the Stop Cop City movement in Atlanta, according to a court record reviewed by 404 Media."

[ghelgheli]

it's been a long time since I believed in desert—ethical desert, in people deserving things, good or bad. I've come to see it as a sort of atomism obscuring the forest for the trees, stoking rhetorics of moral indignation at the expense of clarity. I think everyone in the world has a series of paths arranged in front of them. some of these paths end in the world we ought all to be striving for, and others lead away from it. but some people have more paths, others fewer, for want of freedoms, due to coercion from without, from material lack... and when there is injury and harm in the world in pursuit of liberation and the many voices of rage cry out so you think they deserved that, I think we are missing the point. nobody deserves to die, because I do not think anyone deserves anything. but if the world we should be aiming for is a free one, and if the freedoms of some have made the freedoms of others impossible, have reduced the paths of possibility in front of them, the question is not who deserves what, but: what are they meant to do? what else would you have them do, besides meekly accept their station? and when the infrastructure of "civilization" consists of tangled branches of "civilian" and "military" rendering the whole land occupied, what do you think is necessary to remedy the situation? exercise for the reader.

[travestito]

unfortunate holdover of how clinical models of transsexuality developed is that i think we could be having much more interesting arguments about medical gatekeeping vis a vis to which degree being a binary trans woman benefits those interactions if the eligibility criteria for SRS included several years of lived experience getting raped

[baeddelicto]

many mothers meting out tasks. moving bulky furniture in the strange light too fast. Sickening barricade down in the street below. we must leave. they will be looking. i make it out, the asphalt and cement wet and warm. i taste it. He gives me all their names and i slip into a local grab a drink but its too tight around my limbs. theres something wrong. that persons skin moves like gray sand in a failing tide and hes shaking or spinning. i aim the surveillance in the corner toward it. make sure to keep my face out of frame. the clipped aggravation im watching from an obtuse angle leaning on the wall pretending to watch sports. Shes flirting with me. shes here plenty, to watch the boys on the screen. the man is splitting down the middle screaming at someone, reaching for blows. the door creaks. the trickle down my spine turns to a gust as in walks a torrent of water. i tell her to run. i wrench the back door as the flood tries to close it she slips through, so do i.

shes sits in the middle forgetful, a cane on the ground out of reach. each shaking grey figure has a wet hole sinking into their face. Some two dozen out back in a vignette of sociality. they whisper crashing waves to eachother. they walk in reverse toward my vantage and i track an escape behind me.

[cilicodr-art]

Movie-log 

124. The trouble with being born

Sandra Wollner – 2020 | Austria, Germany | 7.5

[everycorner]

poem I have in Dreck issue 2 which you can find nowhere

[therisingking]

daddy won’t lie to you kitten. what was once prophesied is beginning to come to pass

[assaultmystic]

i once met the girl whose relationship to transition was perfectly straightforward and beyond all reproach. she was born with complete knowledge of her innate femininity, maintained virginal sexual purity (never once even wanting to engage with the lurid male gaze of mainstream pornography, or the fetishising transmisogyny of nicher erotic art). she had also never engaged with any practices, common to those who need to learn they are transgender, that involve performance of any kind. she was never prone to any weakness that begets such puerile dissimulation - her womanhood was in her whole ab initio. nothing bad had ever happened to her such that her relationship to transition was compromised. no abuse, no hardship, no violation. her mind was a pristine fortress. finally, her sympathy for all who number among her sisters was so perfect she did not even utter a cry as i raped her to death, save to thank me.

[baeddelicto]

although there is a funny old story about the feds tryn to figure out how these kids were communicating day in, day out they would go to a public library computer and access an email but never send anything that seemed lik communiques.

they scoured the emails hoping to find fishy recipients or coded messages but... nothing..

this went on for quite a long while.. until eventually they noticed something. in the drafts folder a message that was obviously part of a larger conversation that was never sent. and so they waited but nothing. until the draft changed.

they had been communicating by logging into the same email and writn back and forth on the same draft.

just a story though, who knows if its real but yah maybe dont do that.