@bagofflowers - Tumblr Blog

I love cooking when it’s easy and quick. Started making scrambled eggs in the morning with cheese, kale, Swiss chard and spinach. Instead of oatmeal which even though I add hemp hearts and peanut butter, it doesn’t really sustain me

can’t believe it’s already June, I spent a lot of this spring in fear

this farm reminded me of the first lovely organic farm I worked at

#diary

taxidermied pigeon wing added to bookshelf that I will use in painting studies

Things I am thinking about

- the state park across where I lived for three years in the woods with twelve people is now open. and I miss that time and those people dearly, I loved them

- gentle nervine herbs to support the nervous system that do not increase serotonin would be good for me. must research every herb interaction with my meds :/

caressoften

Conversion of St. Augustine - Fra Angelico

my period of transitioning + detransitioning feels so long gone and foreign to me now… I had a dream two nights ago that a detransitioner came to church and said she was inspired by me.

it feels like a different persons memories almost, due to time and alienation of myself from myself. and a change of place of course.

rattles me though because everytime I go back to my hometown it’s like oh the last time these people saw me I was an entirely different person and they may not even recognize me now. it’s also extremely embarrassing

#diary

thinking about my week long panic attack and how I will ask my psychiatrist about tapering next month at our appointment. Uh oh. It was so embarrassing when I had to call but it also felt like I was being tortured and would’ve done anything to get it to stop so. Idk. still haven’t been able to get a primary care doctor and I’m going back to fl in 2 1/2 months so…. what’s the point in that right now