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[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

real love will love you through the inconvenience.

[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

today was one of best days I've had in Tucson thus far :) had a fun convo with my roommates Zoey & Raquel after work (I feel like we're really coming together <3), got to ride a motorcycle for the first time (sooo exhilarating!!!) by randomly talking to this guy who apparently has seen me in phx (I still don't get how people remember me so well), caught up with Nina (I love her sm and am so so happy for her <333), and experienced such a awesome time dancing with frenz (was the equivalent of 602s, but so wholesome!) :D

it's been so refreshing being in community with people here. I love it :) my time living here may be transitional, but I'm really glad I'm getting to experience this - I needed it.

[bahalanaaa]

"out of the real ones I know, you're the one that's doing the upmost with the inner work..."

thanks for seeing me, Danielle...it means a lot.

[bahalanaaa]

color me so impressed. with her growth in her personal life and her effort to still be a part of my life since I've left. she's really been there for me and made space for me to feel seen and heard and it's surprised me tbh. so of course I'd do the same for her. been feeling very grateful for Elaine lately.

[bahalanaaa]

[bahalanaaa]

I figured that working on and healing parts of myself would make life a bit easier and lighter (para sa akin at sa lahat haha), but the journey has been anything but linear to where you make progress and *POOF* things are dandy. past the surface, there are layers that you didn't know existed and are more dense to process.

it's exhausting to be honest and it can make you question what the point of it all is. the overthinking was once just creating more useless thoughts, but now it's because there is more awareness and consciousness. I guess that's where "ignorance is a bliss" starts to have this appeal because wouldn't it be nice to be so, I mean, facing your traumas and the patterns developed from them that project in messy and sometimes destructive behaviors is no walk in the park.

although life can feel harder and heavier, I've been less afraid of the messiness of it all and I think that's important when facing the internal and external. ignorance may be a bliss, but what is life without the intricacies and layers - there's so much beauty and wonders that unfold when you embrace the full spectrum of being human and what life has to offer 😌

[bahalanaaa]

Tell me your fears

I've turned back the clocks, it's that time of year

If we stay the course, we could get it right

But I'm not devoid of an appetite

And everything seems to be coming up roses

But I'm scared if we're both right

Does that mean we're not aligned?

Just for tonight, let's go hangover chasing

And I'll talk your ear off about why it's safe

As I fumble my words and fall flat on my face through the truth

Just say the word and we'll take up the test

Where we flirt with the bad ones and skip all the rest

But we see out the night with your head on my chest, me and you

There's only me and you

Now I see your tears on account of my wants, and now it appears

That I'm feeling guilty and worried, dear

That you think that I might not want you here

Does all of this seem to be bringing us closer

Or am I back-seating your life

Judging while you drive?

Just for tonight, let's go hangover chasing

And I'll talk your ear off about why it's safe

As I fumble my words and fall flat on my face through the truth

Just say the word and we'll take up the test

Where we flirt with the bad ones and skip all the rest

But we see out the night with your head on my chest, me and you

There's only me and you

It's only me and you

La-la-la-la-la~

[bahalanaaa]

Uranus/IC Line (Tucson)

Along this axis, the focus is on the renewal of your personal point of view. Important areas from which you have derived your sense of security and deeply held convictions are called into question. Sudden changes and severe measures are likely to influence your private family life. You might change your place or town of residence several times.

Quite often, there can be uncontrolled, emotional outbursts, whose origin relates to profound, psychological blocks. Your psychological irritability and nervousness can threaten your professional life.

Unrest and excitement dominate your daily life. You wish to be independent, but at the same time, the circumstances of your life can be so unstable that you lack the necessary basis for your desire of freedom.

Along this line, it is highly unlikely that you will grow any roots or decide to stay. But it is still possible to live in some alternative community or cooperative with people who share your own convictions. Here, you want to remain flexible, and you will find your family more in like-minded individuals than in blood relations.

People with strong ties to their parents or their home, and who have trouble letting go of strong and loving attachments, can take a chance here at gaining their independence.

[bahalanaaa]

I just wanted you to be a part of my world just as much as I wanted to be a part of yours...

[bahalanaaa]

the hanged man represents the recognition of unconscious patterns by sacrificing external attachments and suspending judgement and control in order to be attuned to your inner self.

the seven of cups symbolizes entangled bonds of love that need to be cut due to chaotic emotional ties. this isn't an end to a bond, but an end to being bound.

the emperor personifies power, authority, and leadership. we are given permission to have dominion over the current situation and are empowered to be in control. it's time to be heroic and adventuresome, confronting and assertive.

[bahalanaaa]

what I love about being where I'm at now is that I feel safe being the fullness of who I am and I feel seen and supported more than ever in community...I needed that so bad to be honest.

[bahalanaaa]