noshapls @baiybikaiyote - Tumblr Blog

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

— Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran (via hplyrikz)

Maybe, Just Maybe

maybe, just maybe

if i keep trying, you’ll see what i can offer you

how much i would love to care for you

how all my love i’d like to share with you

how i want to give you anything and everything

maybe, just maybe

your “I’m not ready” can turn out to be

“wow, you really like me”

and you can consider accepting me

maybe, just maybe

time can move faster so you’re way over your past lover

and notice me, who’s waiting here in a corner

not wanting to bother

who’s scared to try too hard in case you push me farther

maybe, just maybe

in another universe you hold my hand

and feel something in your heart and not your pants

maybe, just maybe

in another universe you think about me

and text me

or call me

or care for me

or maybe actually like me

maybe, just maybe

I’m selfish and not thinking about anyone else

I’m looking through a tunnel and all I see is us

but not the real us

it’s an imaginary, heavily augmented version of us

where you hold my hands and look me in my eyes

while telling me all the things you love about us

but in reality

you don’t want me

you say you’re not ready

but that’s just a sugarcoat to make me feel a lot less shitty

maybe, just maybe

- N. A.

Catching Feelings

Catching feelings & falling in love are always weird sensations

You get the tingles, the what-ifs, the imaginary situations

You start off with finding the person not-bad looking

Then every time they reply your Instagram story, you're smiling

Being around them makes you feel calm

You go out of your way to see them because to you, they're a charm

Whatever they have to say, you'd listen close

And soon after you realise they're the topic of your prose

Their Spotify playlist becomes your heavy rotation

The annoying songs on the playlist start to become a natural repetition

You're torn between waiting and confessing

Because the signals they send can get so confusing

Your friends say go

But your brain says no

Maybe it's too early, maybe you’re overthinking

Or is this a chance that you might be missing?

- N. A.

shareaquote

Before I fall in love again 1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favourite cheese crust pizza with you, while having cheese all over my face and even in my hair, without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it. I want to be comfortable with you, I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when I meet your parents for I suck at meeting parents. I want to be okay with being the way I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you’re okay with me being things other than beautiful, graceful and composed at all times. 2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you not just about existential things but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how tomato basil combination always works. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our fundamental values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting mentality behind certain societal norms. 3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don’t want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts, I want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises. 4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work out in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time. 5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren’t a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can’t give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same. 6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don’t want to project them on you, I don’t want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger I carry from the people I have known in the past. 7. Before I fall in love again, I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and trust. So when we fall, it doesn’t hurt.

creatingnikki (via shareaquote)