i have a beard @bambaooo - Tumblr Blog

Posts

I only really think about coming on here when I know im in a headspace where i know i shouldnt be. my world is kinda fucked a little right now, but its kinda hard to show how its really effecting me. we bought a house in july last year, didnt think id be in a situation of having to worry about money like that in a while. Until now. getting laid off in 2022 was probably the best thing that could have happened. I was able to live life like a college kid again without the partying. I was on my own time, and was basically able to do whatever i wanted outside of classes. Even after i finished grad school i was able to travel a little and just do shit i want to do. but now its a bit different. I know I still have a lot of time and its only been a few weeks since ive found out that my contact is getting cut, but its fucking scary. We have a mortgage now, actual bills to pay for. its fucking discouraging when I hear from my friends that i wouldnt have an issue at all finding a job, but I am barely getting any bites on applications and i get all fucked up during conversations. I cant be like trust me, i know ill be good at this job. Because i know where ever i get into jobwise, i always get to a high level qucikly but it doesnt translate into a resume or an short conversation.

I really hope shit plays out like it always has. I have until june to get a new job and i really hope it wont take me this whole time to get there.

#02252025

30.

I know for a fact no one is on here anymore, but doing this has been on the back of my mind for about a week or so.

But I just turned 30. My last almost 15 years of life have been recorded to some extent on here. From my 20s to now my 30s life has been fucking nuts. From going to feeling invincible, to feeling that like everyday is a new challenge of what im going to go through. I remember in like elementary school and middle school, i was like embarrassed of being on the younger end for my class. I would always lie and say that i was born in 93 instead of 94. Such a weird thing. and before i turned 21, i wasnt pressed on going downtown to the bars and clubs cause i know when my time came it would be fine. But gdamn, my 20s are gone. I cant help to reflect on the life ive lived. From college, to my first real job, first time living on my own money, relationships, covid, grad school, and to the last major things of buying a house and getting engaged. like what tf am I doing, in the back of my head im still that one kid that eats a shit ton, works out alot, and smokes hookah. But in reality im not that person anymore lol. i used to be very resistant on change but, i know its inevitable but it does still bums me out a bit. I think it bummed me out before because up until recently, ive been very deprived from my friends. I felt bad reaching out, and I felt like i was being a burden hitting them up. But like now, id rather reach out and see them rather than feel like im missing out. But ive seen more friends in the past few months than I feel like i have in the past few months combined. I know social connection is a big part of being healthy, but i didnt realize it was like that for me. But it makes sense, for almost almos the whole time i was in richmond, i was constantly around friends. but as a real adult that shit is kinda hard, gotta cross reference everyones schedules and shit. but like honestly its better than nothing, and i dont think i could do that shit for a extended amount of time lol. and life is just so fucking different know, fucking mortage and house stuff. and still trying to exercise regularly and be an adult.

i almost never want to plan anything for my birthday cause i dont like that feeling of being a burden or w/e. But it just happned to be that arvin moved back home and we got lunch the day before with matt. and that night we hung out at a hookah bar. Ive been so scared with the random health shit ive been dealing with but hookah actually calmed me down a lot for some reason. and Im trying really hard not to get back into the habit of smoking on a regular basis. after smoking for 10 years man, that shit would fuck me up. not the smoking, but feeling reliant on something. Shit addiction is fucking real. Im blessed to be able to pull myself away from shit like that, but i know in the back of my head i know that shit would feel so nice lol. Even when i was vaping, that shit didnt hit as good as a hookah lol.

but yeah life is different. getting settled in the house, gonna plan for a wedding of some sort in the near future, trying to get the house figured out. life is just fucking wild to me right now.

the 20s i definately learned a shit ton. I feel fucking old talking like that, but like its fucking true. the kids in their 20s now have like no idea how to live like we did. i hope i can get to a point where i can be good mentally and physically to live life a little bit of what i used to. I always hear that the 30s is like your 20s with more money, which makes me hella excited. but yeah, im 30 now, idk the next time ill be on here. ill probably come on here once in a while until it dies off forever. I lowkey want to go back into my shit and read some stuff, but i honestly cant bring myself to dig through that shit lol.

until the next.

#09042024

i dont know if its the cold weather today, time of year or what. but i feel like shit is hitting weird lol. The start of the fall season always gets me in a nostalgic vibe. It brings me back to highschool football and like all the shananigans that go on during fall semester in college.

but either way i already miss summer, i feel like i always feel better when its warm out any ways lol. but like also right now there isnt really anything big to look forward to, like no events really until the holidays. but i guess its just a reason to hit up people to chilll.

Its been 6 years today that the house fire happened. I really dont know how much it has effected my roommates but it comes to mind or conversation on a regular basis for me. I saw the facebook memories of the pictures and gofund me, and like a rush of memories came back to me. It was such a wild time. At one of the lowest points of my life, where i thought i had nothing, i had everything. Friends, family, support and good times. It fucks me up sometimes how only in time of something negative is when people come together. But just now, i realize that if things are going well you might not need all that attention in your life all the time. I was talking about it with Allison last night, that we might not think of it in the moment, but everything happens for a reason and without fucked up situaitions we wouldnt be the people we are today.

it just sitll blows my mind, that our house fucking caught up in flames. like we literally lost everything. We were so furtunate to be in the position we were, and were able to stay in a hotel basically rent free for a month. life is wild. As fucked up as it was, im glad it happened because i know life wouldnt be the same today without it. Idk if my roommates look back at it like i do, or have it on their mind as much as i do, but like that is something we gonna share with eachother for the rest of our lives whether we are in regualr contact or not. Life is beautiful.

2022

i doubt anyone is still on here anymore lol. shit, i barely am, i saw the las thing i posted and i dont even remember when it was lol

but yeah, 2022 was a wild ass year. alot has happened, and probably the most eventful year of my adult life thus far.

soooo, in january was my last month of work at my job at the time. I was put in a weird position where the contract I was working for ended early and i was laid off. i feel like any other person would have been freaking out, but luckily i was still finishing up my last semester of grad school. For the first time since graduating undergrad was basically free any not working. coming from me, ive since i was in highschool I was always the type of person to want to work work work and make bread. So basically from once i could work when I was 16, i was working every chance i could get until this month. I looked at it as my opportunity to finally take somewhat of a break from working cause I know I wouldnt get an opportunity like this again.

Although i did have hella plans for the next 6-8 months after finishing my job, i still had grad school to finish so basically from February to like Mayish I kinda just laid low and just took hella walks, worked out, and did school. i was going to sleep pretty late every night, waking up whenever and just going with the flow. there were some events scattered here and there like family parties, Allison’s cousins’ wedding in march which was fun.

But come end of April into May, is when the real fun shit began. Went to the first of many muisical preformances. the first one was Brian McKnight which was wild. He is hella good live. and then shorly after I finished grad school. First I finished grad school with two fucking masters degrees. One witha 4.0 and the other with a 3.9. I want to take a moment to realize how wild that is. In undergrad I legit was on academic warning and have a 1.7 gpa LOL. shit was wild. But also early on in May we went to see jame arthur in silver spring which was fun. Around mid May I went to Miami fora day trading conference, definately a wild expereince. I learned a lot, but also met a lot of cool people. First solo trip and it was fun. A few weeks later went to my friends wedding wehre i got to catch up with other hommies and it was chill.

Before we knew it, it was June. Something in the water was definiately something to remember, dope to see all these live performances and just be out and about. Glad to have experienced once while it was in DC for probably the only time ever. And literally a day or two after I went to trip 2 of the summer to Massachusettes for adrians weddings. First time doing a road trip like that, and it was pretty fun. Being with old friends, in a new area, just enjoying life. I was able to eat edibles, get drunk. and try lobster by itself for the first time ever and it was a good time. Stopped by in jersey on the way back and went to jersey smorgasburg and it was dope! it just kinda sucked a little while after, cause I found out i had covid a day or 2 after coming back from from the trip. but luckily it was very mild and was good to back by 4th of july.

After a few more weeks in july, i was on my way to SoCal. 2nd a last solo trip. this trip was probably one of my favorite trips I have taken in my life to be honest. teh weather was good, was able to go to the OC fair, smorgasburg LA, and went to a reggae festival. I know the way I am with island music might seem a little weird to people, but shit, that festival was fun af. Going to concerts by yourself is fun af. Also while I was there i got to meet up with some VCU hommies and my cousin!

After getting back home it was only a few more weeks until the last trip of the summer. Me and Allisons first trip of the year to Miami after her semester ended. It was fun too cause i didnt really go to the beach when I went in May. And I got to eat a bunch of food that I didnt get to eat the first time too. Its honestly just nice to hangout and do what we normally do, but in a different environment.

A few weeks afterr we did a little trip to RVA/charlottesville. Allsion got us tickets for WIcked and it was dope. We were able to explore around richmond, and I got to show allsion on my favorite places to eat in rva.

During this whole last few months from July to septermber I was consistently apply for jobs, going through interviews be lowkey being stressed about job searching. I was stressed, but not that stressed cause I knew id get a bite eventually but not knowing when was stressful. Luckily in september I got my first offer and was able to start my job in october. Fully remote and working in my field.

October was a bunch of going back and forth between DC for work stuff and learning shit. November I kinda realized that I will have a lot of free time and that its gonna be alot of free time and pulled the trigger on fulfilling my lowkey dream of working in a grocery store.

Holidays this year were very chill and nothing to crazy. Thanksgiving we bounced around between Allisons and My family. Christmas was more bouncing around MD and VA, being around familiy and enjoying ourself. It was honestly the first time in a while that Christmas felt like something worth celebrating. Also I actually reached out and caught up with friends. Like i feel like its very rare for it to happen, but getting together with my friends is something I will always enjoy. and tonight its NYE. My ass is at home, with no plans cause I got work a whole foods tomorrow and im completely okay with it. My life has been full of celerations and family and im okay with going into the new year chill.

2022 has honestly been such a blessing. Going into the new year, many people want to exceed what they did in the previous year, but im already at the point that I am accepting that this past year was just so crazy that 2023 might just be a chill year. I remember I had a year i called teh “rebuild” in like 2017 or 2018, when it came to lifitng, but this will be a different type of rebuild, financial and health rebuild. I want to get my money right and get back lifting again.

but yeah, 2022 has been just full of blessing and i am fortunante to have been able to do the things that I have been able to do this year. Unlike 2022, I do not have any big plans for the year, and whatever happens will happen. Im excited for it, and am ready for what ever comes back at me.

#12312022

As one door closes another opens. Negative things are only negative if you perceive them to be.

its all part of the process.

these past few weeks have kinda been a lot. school winding down, trying to scramble getting the last few assignments done, thanksgiving just happening, and on top of that i was actually hella sick for the past week or so after thanksgiving. i got tested and its not covid, but was still very inconvenient. like i have about 6 weeks left of my job and shits getting kinda werid in my head. like i do have money to live off of for the mean time but like shit is just weird. i know at the end of the day my day to day is not going to be any different, just no work. Im gonna be able to go on my walks normally, workout normally, and work on trading. just not have to join bullshit meetings.just hit up my boss about turning in my latptop early and just working off of my personal computer and gonna have to meet up with her sometime next week to give her my shit. I literally only started this job like a year ago. like so much has change in a year. but like ive talked about wanting to not work for so long and just doing w/e, and the fact taht its finally hitting at the end of january is a bit surreal. like i have plans on what i want to do outside of school, but damn, its actually happening. gonna be fun unemployeed for 6+ months, and maybe more depending on how well i do with my money. i make the joke about maxing out my student loans so i can live off of it, but like i actually did it and it kinda is frightening lol. im gonna be 100k+ in debt and i dont have any plans or aspirations of paying it off. one thing i do know is that i will not become part of the majority that ends up paying it off over their life time. Im gonna figure shit out, whether its with trading or whatever im gonna figure out how to pay off this shit. every new year has been so exiting for the past few years, and 2022 is nothing less. A lot of big things coming and im fucking excited. With all the negative shit thats been hitting these past few weeks theres always good shit that follows.

God has a funny way of bringing things into your life, or taken out. I was planning on taking time off after i graduate in may. But my boss held a meeting today to let us know that our contract is being cut short and is now ending on January. So after January i won't have a job anymore. It's weird cause I can't get a new job and then graduate a couple months later and leave again. But I'll figure this shit out. I'm not very concerned, if anything I'm kind of excited. But we'll see how everything goes.

Thankful.

A lot to be thankful for this year. My gf is currently knocked out from eating 2 Thanksgiving meals today. I feel like absolute shit too eating cleaning for x amount of weeks and then eating shit tons of fatty foods and desserts. But as this year winds down, a lot excites me for 2022. January i start my last semester of grad school. I'm planning on taking the rest of the year off work/school once that's done and finally get time to live life for once. It's funny to see how my perspective on life has change in the past couple years. Like this time 2016 all I wanted to do is be done with undergrad and just work to make money. Fast forward 5 years, I'm not rich but i have a decent amount of funds to live and to help my family. I've finally been able to pay off my credit cards and buy a car. It's dumb af to realize what I want to do with my life after committing to grad school but it's all a part of the journey. I'm not saying that i figured out this trading shit but I'm pretty confident that i can make it happen eventually. Even if it doesn't workout in the short term, i think i am going to be trading for the rest of my life. Like I'm super close to being funded by a prop firm and once that happens the sky is the limit. I can already anticipate all this shit coming with backlash from people that don't believe it's a real thing but it's a fucking beautiful thing. Once i get my footing right i want to help my friends and others learn about this shit and release them from the shackles we all have been taught to be attached to. Like even from back at VCU i always had a feeling that i was made for more than just working at a desk. Even when i was a kid up until now. Like all ive always been to the one to work harder at my jobs than at school. Like normal people would see working in sales or in a commission based job was the best way to like see your skills, basically you payout would be the result for your work. Although that is similar to what I'm trying to do, your still tied to shit and there are limitations. With trading it seems like there is no limits that can be hit. Everything that I've learned up to this point about trading is having a strong mental and to think outside of the tunnel vision and to see the bigger picture. A lot of traders that ive been learning from have been through hell trying to reach it. Although I don't think my shit is exactly the same, ive definitely been through my share of shit to develop my mindset today and it's only getting stronger. Like i said before, it won't happen over night but i just have a feeling it's in my reach. I want to look back at this post and laugh and say i was right. And i know I will be one day. Just speaking it into existence. I'm hype for the future, and use my past as a remembrance of how i get there. I don't think anyone is really on here anymore, but if you see this i hope your doing well in life and are striving to be what you aspire to be like I'm tryna do.

#112521

I know no one gives af about this but this is something I'm really proud of. I've been looking into trading since like Feb/March and I've spent a good amount of money on courses to learn and a good amount of money lost trying to trade when i wasn't ready. But i just completed my first level of verification out of 2 before i get to be funded. Luckily level 2 is a lot easier but holy shit man, this shit is getting real lol. I know no one even knows what this is, or if anyone would even care but this is a big thing for me.

Been a quick minute. But today i finally finalized my schedule for my last semester of grad school. I've been doing 12 credit semesters since my 2nd semester of grad school but I've never had to take 4 classes all at once for the whole time, but next semester it'll be 4 classes for the whole semester though. It's been a wild ride and most of the people that i tell that I'm im school with a full time schedule while working full time and doing pretty decently. Like ive never been the type to brag about shit, but like I'm in a dual degree program. People that would go to my school that would do a single degree program take like 2-3 years. My estimated timeline in my school Portal said I'd be done by 2024. Like the fact that it would take other almost 4 years to complete this shit, it has to show something that I'm gonna be doing it in less than 2. Like i think about that shit and it's fucking wild. I can't wait to be done with school. I'm gonna take a couple months off and just enjoy life like i should have after undergrad. It's funny how shit works, my last couple semesters of undergrad all i wanted to do was work to make more money and that i could be lazy and not do shit later. But now almost 5 years later, shit is different. Money ain't everything, time is.

But anyways shits wild.

My love for lifting is slowly coming back to me. It's been a long time since I've felt this good, honestly probably not since 2019. I can't wait til i graduate and getting to train on a regular without having to worry about going to class or something. Don't think I'll ever compete again but i miss being strong. No where near being as strong as i was, lost a lot of strength these past couple years but i excited to start building again

Where you want something this bad, failure is part of the journey.

27.

Today I'm 27. And it was the most normal day lol. I worked and had class. Finishing off the day smoking some hookah. I'm honestly so excited for this next year. This past year I've done so much and checked some things off of my life check list that i never thought I'd do. I quit my old job, started a new one, paid off a shit ton of my credit card debt, bought a car, and took a 2 week vacation. This next year i have so much more planned. I'm so excited. Life is beautiful. I can't help to think back at my past years off life and each time i think it's the best that it can get, but each year it gets better and better.

Here's to another year!

I'm different. I've always been different. I'm excited to see what the future has in store from me. It's almost my birthday and I'm turning 27. I know i always say it but i can just feel 27 is going to be a good year.

I find myself on here more when i have a lot of free time. Idk how i used to do it before grad school. I like it but i don't. I feel like i always operate better when i have a lot going on. Although I'm looking forward to being done with school I'm interested to see what I'll do with my free time. I do have plans to concentrate on trading but even that isn't going to take all my free time. I wish I could travel more. I had coming back from being in a new area and then coming back home. I've been talking slot about just driving places once I'm done with school and i think i might actually do it. As much as I love stability in a daily routine i think i like being sporadic more.. until then i guess I'ma just enjoy not doing shit while i can lol.

Damn late night can't sleep and just went on the weirdest rabbit hole in a while. Life has changed so much in the past 6-8 years. Like sometimes i feel like the shit that i went through didn't exist. I sometimes miss things, but also I'm glad shit is done and over with. Shit is nuts man. Life comes at you fast in a weird way. About 2 weeks left before i start my second to last semester of grad school. Shits nuts

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

i have a beard