Redeeming Jon Snow and (to some extent) the Game of Thrones
This post will probably be my only post and it is very very long (about 1 hour read). The purpose of it, as the title suggests, is to redeem Jon Snow’s character and offer another reading of his character arc. This post also solves the confusion some Political Jon theorists felt about their reading of Jon during the last episode (this part is mostly in the end, but I make points before which also explain his state of mind). I apologize in advance for the length of this essay, but it seems I’m not good at being concise. Thank you in advance for your patience and interest. Here it is, below.
I used to think, like many people, that Jon Snow in the end was this horrible character that, in a very OOC way, had betrayed the North and his family because he had fallen in love with Daenerys. That he had become nothing more than a pathetic lapdog for a woman he even failed to show us he loved that much. I recently changed my view of Jon, whose point of view is so blatantly missing in the last 2 seasons, after I discovered the Political Jon theory and decided to play Littlefinger’s little game to understand Jon’s motives.
My assumption is that what we see is not what we believe it is. This is important, because belief and expectations have a tendency to BLIND people to what they have under their noses. Inside season 07, the writers actually repeatedly tell us to look beneath the surface, to see better and to question what we think we know. Why would they do that? Well, before season 07 even aired, a lot of people were expecting a romance between Jon and Dany, imagining love between 2 beautiful people, 2 heroes, as a lot of people tended to idealize them both, not seeing their imperfections and flaws and failing to see how different they actually were. Some even expected a happy ending with a throne shared and babies and whatnots, forgetting they were watching GOT. So the writers gave us keys on how to read the story, on keeping our eyes open and not being blinded by our beliefs of what the story should or would be. These keys are brought to us by characters, mainly Littlefinger, Tyrion, Bran and Jon.
So, here are those keys from season 07:
1°) Bran: “(it means) I can see everything. Everything that’s ever happened, to everyone, everything that’s happening right now. It’s all pieces now, fragments. I need to learn to see better.” We, like Bran, have seen everything that’s ever happened to our characters. And we are seeing (at that point of time it’s season 07) what’s happening now. We need to connect the dots between past events and current ones (the pieces and fragments) in order to understand what’s going on. We need to see better. This Bran moment is connected to SEEING.
2°) Tyrion: “And I trust the eyes of an honest man more than I trust what everybody knows.” If we see things honestly, without being blinded by our beliefs or anyone else’s beliefs, then we can truly see. Again, this is connected to SEEING but also to QUESTIONING beliefs. Seeing without the blindness beliefs bring.
3°) Tyrion: “But a wise man once said, that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it.” This ties in again, with the need to QUESTION our beliefs.
4°) Daenerys: “Perhaps we should all be examining what we think we know.” Same as above, we are told to QUESTION our beliefs, or in other words, what we think we know.
5°) Littlefinger: “Fight every battle, everywhere, always in your mind. Everyone is your enemy, everyone is your friend. Every possible series of events is happening all at once. Live that way, and nothing will surprise you. Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.” How does LF’s speech apply in the context of reading the story presented to us? Well, first off, we need to imagine any scenario is possible here. That we need to reexamine who our characters really are, according to their past actions, that what is happening now might be something we have seen before in the TV show. So, this is connected to many things actually, SEEING, REEXAMINING, and being open-minded about what is actually going on.
6°) Tyrion: “And sometimes there’s more to foreign invaders and Northern fools than meets the eye.” We are asked to LOOK beneath the surface of what transpires, told that things might not be as simple as they appear to be and we are asked again to reexamine our characters, in this case particularly, Daenerys and Jon. A lot of viewers were so in love with Dany the perfect queen that they were blinded to who she truly was or what she could become. They were so blinded that they were unable to see her flaws and, even after season 07, that she had all the characteristics of a tyrant in the making who would probably turn dark. Same with Jon. A lot of people saw him as this flawless honourable guy who was unable to lie or do shady things when necessary. Forgetting his past, forgetting his time with the wildlings, forgetting the lessons he had learnt, and seeing him as a pure hero without any grey characteristics, a true “good guy” unable to do any wrongs or mistakes.
7°) Jon: “It’s not. It may seem that way from the outside but I promise you, it’s not true.” Again, the theme that things may not be as they appear is stressed upon. That appearances are deceitful and that there is more than meets the eye. That Jon is also able to do “wrong” things, whatever that may mean.
8°) Littlefinger: “Sometimes, when I try to understand a person’s motives, I play a little game. I assume the worst. What is the worst reason they could possibly have for saying what they say and doing what they do? Then I ask myself, how well does that reason explain what they say and what they do?” In season 07 and 08, Jon’s POV is missing. A lot of people, including myself didn’t understand him anymore and were greatly disappointed in what he said and did. But then, here we have LF giving us the perfect user’s manual in understanding what Jon does and says, giving us a possible access to Jon’s otherwise unavailable POV. So, why not use it?
Or, we could just stay stupid and act according to what Tyrion says in season 07: “People’s minds are not made for problems that large.” Which probably reflects what the writers thought of us viewers when they didn’t confirm with words what their story was actually showing us by every other means. And, to be honest, they were right somehow, as even after the end, for example, a lot of people stayed in denial regarding who Dany turned out to be and kept on worshipping her as a flawless goddess regardless of her actions.
There are a lot of hints given to us that Jon is actually doing with Dany what he did somehow with the wildlings, working undercover. He even has a talk with Jorah in Beyond the Wall where he mentions his time as “a prisoner of the wildlings”. In season 07, he understands and says he is a prisoner of Dany’s. We have Theon mentioning his time as a prisoner of Ramsay’s. We have Sansa mentioning her time as hostage in KL. (That is a lot of references to being a prisoner/hostage in general). We also have a lot of callbacks as well to the Mance/Stannis situation of season 05, mirroring Jon and Dany’s situation. We have a lot of reminders about Ned, Jeor Mormont and many times where Jon is compared to Ned. Cersei even assumes that Jon is this super duper honest guy like his father, a guy that never lies, ignoring the fact that Ned did do some shady things as well, like lie about Jon’s parentage, tamper with Robert’s will, lie to his kids about defeating Arthur Dayne (show fact only though), and dishonour himself for the sake of his daughter Sansa before his death. Jaime even calls Jon a dolt. So is Jon really a dolt, a Northern fool, unable to lie or commit dishonourable deeds for a greater purpose? Or is there, as Tyrion’s quote suggests, more than meets the eye to this Northern fool?
I also have big reasons to think that the otherwise awful plot with Arya, Sansa and LF is actually a situation that is presented to us not only to bring LF’s character to this truly horrible ending, but also to draw parallels with Jon’s situation. For example, during Sansa and Arya’s confrontation, they both in turn mirror either Jon or Dany. Let me explain. Sansa’s situation in KL was one of a hostage. Jon is a prisoner on Dragonstone. She mirrors Jon’s situation. Then, Sansa behaves in a very Dany way when she tells Arya she should be on her knees thanking her, talking about her sufferings and boasting of her accomplishments, saying also that the Knights of the Vale rode North for her. She mirrors Dany in her very first meeting with Jon (bend the knee, I was raped, defiled, etc. I gave birth to Dragons, the Dothraki crossed the sea for me…).
Then we have Arya saying this: “I didn’t betray him (Ned), I didn’t betray Robb, I didn’t betray our entire family for my beloved Joffrey”. Could it be she is mirroring Jon here? What does Jon seemingly do at the end of that very same episode? He betrays the North and his family by giving his crown away to his “beloved” Dany with no apparent good reason but the fact “he suddenly fell in love”. Really?
Did Sansa really have a choice back then? Did she really betray her family? No. Does Jon really have a choice at that moment? That is a question we should be asking ourselves. Was Sansa genuinely asking Robb to bend the knee to Joffrey in her scroll? Robb, Maester Luwin and Cat all understood it was Cersei’s words behind the scroll and that Sansa had no real choice in writing it. And Sansa wrote it in the hope of saving her father.
So, did Jon have a real choice when he bent the knee to Dany? Did he do it because he loved her, giving away his people’s hardly earned freedom in such a careless and unforgivable manner, when we had seen him fighting tooth and nail to NOT do it before that? Or did he do it because he deemed it absolutely necessary to ensure his people’s survival?
One last thing that I find interesting in Arya and Sansa’s dialogue during their confrontation: Sansa: “Sometimes anger makes people do unfortunate things.”
Arya: “Sometimes fear makes them do unfortunate things.”
Would it be weird to consider those two lines fit Dany’s actions (anger) and Jon’s actions (fear)? Isn’t Jon afraid for his family and people’s survival? Wouldn’t he be ready to do anything to ensure it? Couldn’t fear for his people and family make him do “unfortunate things” like pledging himself and the North to her? Moreover, doesn’t anger fit Dany’s unredeemable action in season 08? Couldn’t fear of Dany explain at least partly Jon’s actions in season 08?
So, anyway, the writers gave us keys to read what transpires of the story through their lens. But unfortunately, a lot of people, myself included, failed to see those keys and read the story on a superficial level, according to their expectations. My reaction to their romance was basically “but it’s so bad!” and I had failed to see WHY. So, here is my take. If we play LF’s little game, the worst reason that explains the uncharacteristic things Jon does and says from mid-season 07, is that he is manipulating Dany to get her North. And that reason explains quite well what Jon does and says until the end of the series. It works so well that it is actually as if a light had been switched on on the whole thing.
Basically, I’m saying Jon never loved Dany. He probably doesn’t even like her. But he had to use every mean necessary, even dishonorable ones, to get her to help in the fight against the WW. Jon understood she was impulsive and therefore not trustworthy when she gave her word to fight alongside him, that’s why he gave her his crown. He understood that impulsive Dany might bail out at the first provocation (from Cersei for example) unless she was emotionally bound to him, that’s why he slept with her. He understood, despite all of his previous efforts to convince her, that she didn’t see the bigger picture and that her priority was always going to be the IT and her war with Cersei. That’s the Political Jon theory in a nutshell. That’s season 07 Jon.
Not convinced? Just check Dany’s conversation with Sansa. What does she say? Does she say she came North to protect the realm, as it is her duty as rightful queen? No. She says she came because she loves Jon. She says she came to fight in “Jon’s war”. And what does Jon tell the Northern lords about his choice? He says it was either keeping his crown or protecting the North. He chose the North. Is he lying to his people? If he was, that wouldn’t present the “love of his life” in a nice light, would it? That is not very flattering to her, is it? And why would it be more believable or acceptable that Jon wouldn’t lie to Dany (someone he considered a stranger right until before he left for Eastwatch) but would have no qualms in lying to his people?
By the way, Jon isn’t really happy about giving away his crown. It was the honour of his life. When he was made King, he was smiling and in awe. I mean, even though he kept repeating he wasn’t a Stark, being crowned King in the North and therefore recognized as Ned’s son must have been something, right?
A scene that shows he isn’t happy about giving away his crown, is the one at the funeral. He looks at little Lyanna Mormont, the fierce little girl who made him King, his first supporter in the BoB, who resented him at the end for what he did. Then he looks at Daenerys. What he’s done is weighing on his conscience. Another fact that proves this, is how upset he is when he tells Sam before the reveal, “I gave up my crown, Sam. I bent the knee, I’m not King in the North anymore!”. It wasn’t a light-hearted decision for something as stupid a reason as wanting his d*ck wet. It was a necessary thing.
Moreover, Sansa’s question to him, “did you bend the knee to protect the North or because you love her?” is left hanging because the question is actually asked to us, viewers. This is a question the writers want us to ask ourselves. The answer is, Jon did it to protect the North.
The point is driven even more when Sansa, fishing for information about Jon’s motives and feelings tells Dany “you know he loves you”. Dany’s answer is concluded by telling us and Sansa “tell me, who manipulated whom?” It is important to note that this sentence is the CLIMAX of the scene because it is the moment where the camera gets the closest to Dany’s face. Then, we see Sansa’s face in such a close shot as well, and there is a kind of realization in her expression. The camera gets away again after that. So, that specific bit of the conversation is shown to be the most important one, the central one, the one we should be taking into consideration. It’s yet another question we are supposed to ask ourselves.
I won’t explain the Political Jon theory here, because a few people have nicely explained it already back then, after s07. I only recently discovered it, but it is very good imo, and explains very well Jon’s actions as well as the lackluster “romance”. Even more so if we use LF’s lessons, Tyrion’s “ancient wisdoms”, etc (the keys I mentioned earlier).
It is worth mentioning symbols are also used for storytelling. For example, I noticed that Jon’s outburst in the Dragonpit about truth, promises and lies is very interestingly filmed on a symbolic level. Jon steps right before his outburst inside the chain that is on the floor, still tied to the remains of the wight. It means that Jon at that moment, is still chained to his mission, his life goal. Then why would he sabotage the truce with Cersei? Is Jon really so stupidly honourable that he is unable to lie to someone he knows he shouldn’t trust anyway (Cersei), even for humanity’s sake? That’s ridiculous. We know from his past experiences that Jon is very much capable of lying. And it is shown to us he hadn’t even told Davos about his bending the knee to Daenerys on the boat. We should wonder why. There are ulterior motives behind his actions. Check the scene of his outburst out, the framing is really interesting and the way the chain is displayed on the floor, in the shape of a too neat spiral means that it was carefully arranged on the set by the staff. A chain doesn’t fall on the floor naturally that way. There was a purpose behind that setting and framing. The spiral shape could also be seen as a way to show us Jon is engaging himself in a spiral of events from which he won’t be able to get out (the chain). He, from this moment of time, is trapping himself into a game he will lose control of. Which is pretty much what happens in season 08.
Also, before boat sex, while Bran’s voice says “he loved her”, Jon is facing the closed door. Symbolically, a closed door means something hidden, and in context of love, it also means rejection. It is not a positive symbol. While Dany’s part “and she loved him” is shown in a positive way as we see her face after she opened the door. Symbols matter.
I think it is also interesting to note that Jon’s most uncharacteristic behaviours, the first time we see him using dove eyes at Dany and “bending the knee to her but…”, as well as knocking on her door to have sex with her, happen on a ship. A ship, in literature and other art forms, symbolizes hidden depths, as it has the sea beneath it. Is there something more then to both scenes than what we see? That would only go along the lines of the keys different characters provided us in season 07.
Regarding the lackluster romance, a lot of people argued that there was no time for that in s07 and 08. I will argue that is simply not true. We got a lengthy scene between Grey Worm and Missandei, with conversation, kiss, undressing, all of it. We got Arya and Gendry, with conversation, first kiss, undressing, all of it. We got Jaime and Brienne, with conversation, first kiss, undressing, all of it. I think you get my point. We didn’t get conversation, first kiss, undressing with Dany and Jon. We just got to the sex part. Why? Lack of time? I think not. It was deliberate. I mean, Jon and Dany being the biggest characters in the show and knowing that their romance was highly expected, why would they screw it up and still show us other minor romances in a more successful way? The show also proved they were able to portray a romance successfully in previous seasons, even in a short span of time (Robb and Talisa for example). The only logical explanation behind the butchering of the most expected romance in the history of the show is that they were demonstrating to us that this was NOT a romance. Their story failed again and again to show us in a positive way the tropes a romance is supposed to have. They always showed them to us in contrast. For further example, no longing glances from Jon while they showed us Dany’s longing glances. Or Jon, going on the stupidest suicide mission, not turning back to have a last look at his “beloved”, while Jorah does. Why would they show us such contrast? Why play with romance tropes and showing Jon not following them? If we are open minded enough about it and use our eyes to see honestly what is right under our noses, then the answer becomes obvious.
How do we explain Jon’s behaviour in s08 in the light of season 07 Political Jon? Well, it is what we could call sacrificial and stubbornly dutiful Jon. Fear is also a factor in his season 08 behaviour.
Okay, so, Jon doesn’t love Dany, but he has manipulated her to get her North. He used her affections for him, but he doesn’t have any for her. Do you think it wouldn’t weigh on Jon’s conscience to have used dishonourable means for an honourable purpose? To be lying his ass off? Wouldn’t it be like tarnishing Ned’s memory and his own honour? It definitely would. The Jon we know would feel shame and guilt for that. Remember when he came back to the Watch after betraying the wildlings and Ygritte? He said “I’ve done plenty of wrong”. Meaning his actions did weigh on his conscience. And what does he tell Theon in season 07? “I’ve done plenty of things that I regret.”
In the situation with Dany however, he hadn’t accounted for the parentage reveal to screw and complicate things even further for him. The incest does disgust him and mostly it prevents him to go on smoothly with the charade, making things more difficult to deal with.
By the way, his first reaction at the reveal was shock at discovering Ned had lied to him and everyone else his whole life. That Ned wasn’t as honourable as he previously thought he was. That in the end, Jon wasn’t really that different from him. Ned lied to protect him. Jon lied to protect the North and his family.
Let’s get back to the point. How can I affirm with certainty that he doesn’t love Dany and never has? Well, besides what I already said about romance tropes, a lot of things actually. Body language and facial expressions for one. For those who would doubt that counts in storytelling, let me tell you, it does. Actors do use body language to express their characters feelings all the time, after all an actor’s body is the main tool of their craft, isn’t it? Either Kit Harington played his character the way he was supposed to, or he is a really shitty actor, which I don’t think he is. Let’s analyze a few bits of Jon’s body language when he is with Dany.
First off, after boat sex he never, NEVER takes the first step to get physically close to her. She does. When you love someone, you want to be physically close to them. Jon was never shown to be the first in initiating any relationship with women (Ygritte, Melisandre), women always took the very first step with him. But strangely enough, he did take it with Dany, initiating physical contact (hand grabbing) and knocking at her door. However, after his first time with Ygritte in the cave, he proves he is capable of initiating physical contact with his lover. He takes her by the hand on the Wall, he grabs her clothes to get her closer to him when they are flirting, etc. With Dany, after boat sex, he never does take the initiative again. Even at the supposedly romantic waterfall scene, therefore before the reveal, she takes the first step towards him. And he kisses her only when she tells him to keep “his Queen” warm. This choice of words is quite important too, I’ll come back to it later. He gets scared of the dragons, stops kissing her but she grabs him by the collar and initiates the second kiss. He turns her around in order to keep an eye on the dragons. This scene is taken as comedic, but really it is telling. Jon isn’t carried away by their “blissful kiss” in a beautiful setting, with the woman he is “so deeply in love with”.
Secondly, he almost always looks either miserable or displeased when she is around him. And he is clearly walking on eggshells too. He knows what she is, dangerous and impulsive. A part of him fears her, she has two flying nukes with her after all.
Notice how he winces at hearing her voice at the war council before the WW come. We see his face is normal when Tyrion talks, then Dany opens her mouth and Jon winces. The camera makes a point in showing that reaction to us. Why? If you love someone, don’t you like the sound of their voice?
Let’s have a look at the parentage reveal scene now. Again, Jon doesn’t take any step to get close to her. She carefully approaches him and needs him to nod his consent for her to touch him! His body is not facing hers at all, while hers is turned towards his side. In body language, that means there is no feeling of closeness from his side. But there is from hers. His hand grips her wrist, not her hand. It is a show of control and dominance. That display of dominance is showed again when he tells her “it’s true, Dany”. His shoulders are squared, he enters her personal space, making himself look more imposing. He wants her to believe it.
Moreover, we could add that he chooses to call her Dany, that’s the second time only we hear him say it. What happened to “not Dany then”? And what was her reaction again when he called her that the first time? She mentioned her brother and said “not the company you’d want to keep”. Is Jon subconsciously telling us and Dany that she shouldn’t keep his company? Is the parentage reveal the card for him to get out of this unwanted relationship? My guess is yes, and I will say more about this later.
More on this scene, but not about the body language. Jon lies to her. Yes, he lies. I had never noticed it before, but hell, I saw it in my recent viewing. When she asked him who TOLD him, he answers “Bran”, when we know and he knows it was Sam who told him. That could be chalked to bad writing, however, he also says “and Sam confirmed it”. We also have a scene prior to that where Sam asks him if he told Dany. We have the scene between Sam and Bran where Bran says Sam should be the one to tell him. And anyway, wouldn’t the actors say something about the line being wrong when they had read the script and filmed the scene in that same season? We are not talking about something filmed ages ago here, so, it was intentional. By the way, it seems nobody noticed this whereas they noticed all the other mistakes and idiocies in the script. Now, what would be the obvious reason for Jon to lie to her? He is protecting Sam from Dany’s suspicion and wrath. After all, isn’t he the guy whose father and brother she executed? And isn’t Jon right in lying to her here? Dany was immediately suspicious of Bran and Sam’s word. This shows us that Jon isn’t blind to what Dany is. He just compromises because he needs her armies and dragons. Just like the Night’s Watch needed Craster. Just like he needed to ask Roose Bolton for men when he was Lord Commander. As much as he dislikes it, he compromises. This is only confirmed by his reaction when Sam tells him she executed his father and brother. Jon is shocked into silence for several seconds before he says “I’m so sorry” and then “we need to end this war.” Which war is he talking about here? The one against the army of the dead for which he needs Dany’s resources.
A lot of people, including myself, have cursed at Jon for telling her at the worst possible time, right before the battle. But what if it wasn’t the worst but the best in Jon’s eyes? Let’s see. If Jon manipulated Dany to come North and fight, he needs her to stick until the actual fight is here, right? He couldn’t take the risk she bailed out of it when he revealed her the truth. We have that scene with Sam before that, where Sam asks him, “have you told her yet?” “you’re being careful, you’re biding your time, you are waiting for the right…” Well, the right moment, obviously. It is actually the perfect moment, because she is cornered now and can’t flee the battle. I mean, of course, she could decide to fly away with her dragons, but then she would lose her entire army. She doesn’t have a choice anymore.
It is also a way for him to break up with her, which is actually what he wants, and not only because the incesty part disgusts him. Well, obviously, this argument of him wanting to break up with her also works because of the incest only but…why choose this particular moment? Why not tell her right after Sam told him then? After all, we saw him shunning her and avoiding her after Sam told him. Why not tell her straight away? Why was he, as Sam put it, biding his time? I think we need to wonder.
Anyway, the fight is about to start, he might die, she might die, they both might die, so, who cares? And if they both survive, he thinks the relationship will end there. But he is proven wrong of course, as she doesn’t want to let go of him and incest doesn’t disturb her. She becomes needy as she lost Jorah, her most devoted supporter, someone she had a deep emotional connection to, and is worried by Jon’s potential claim to the Throne.
Another interesting point of that reveal scene, is that Jon acts as if surprised at her words when she tells him he would have the better claim and would be the heir to the throne. Why would he be surprised? Isn’t that what Sam told him? Isn’t that what made him panic in regards to Dany’s reaction when Sam told him? The only explanation is that he’s acting in front of her as if he hadn’t thought about the consequences of the reveal, meaning that he was the rightful heir. He doesn’t want to present himself as a threat to her. So, if the claim doesn’t matter to him and he wants her to not see him as a threat regarding that, why did he tell her? Again, to put a stop to their relationship.
By the way, his reaction to Sam telling him wasn’t one of a lover concerned with the love of his life being his aunt. It was a reaction of fear at how she would take the news. “It’s treason”. That is duty and fear language, not love language.
This duty language is found again and again throughout their relationship. In the waterfall scene, he says “it is cold out here for a southern girl”. He calls her a girl. What does she say? “so keep your girl warm”? No, she says “so keep your Queen warm”. We are being shown this is a relationship between monarch and subject, not equals, not lovers.
Let’s delve further into this duty language. The infamous quote you/she are/is my/our queen” reveals the true nature of their relationship. The fact that it is repeated again and again is actually stressing the fact that this is not a love story on Jon’s side, but a relationship based on duty. If he desperately loved her, wouldn’t he tell her so, and most importantly show it with care, attention and devotion, even if he couldn’t bed her? You know, like what the show presented us in the form of Lord Friendzone Jorah for example…
This duty language is present right until the end, right until he plunges the dagger in her heart. What were his last words to her again? “I love you and I always will”? Nah… “You are my queen, now and always”. Duty, not love. Think about it, he made his decision to kill her from the moment she said: “they don’t get to choose.” If he really loved her, if he really really loved her, (knowing he was going to stab her, that she was about to die, that he would never be with her again) wouldn’t he tell her so? No, he just can’t tell her that because it would be telling one last lie.
At some point, during the bedroom scene, he even tells her, “I don’t know what else I can say”. That’s right baby, because you can’t, there is nothing else to say, really.
He even makes the distinction between what she represents for him “you are my queen, nothing will change that” (duty) and what his family represents “and they are my family” (love).
Why would Jon find it so important to keep serving her and doing his duty by her? Same answer, because he doesn’t love her. That’s all he can give her. He manipulated her and lied to her, which is dishonourable. He feels shame and guilt at that, even though he fears her and knows she is a potential danger, including to his family. The only way for him to keep a shred of honour is by doing his duty by her, by honouring his part of the bargain. He pledged himself and his forces to her, duty and honour command him to go through with it, no matter the consequences. When he first seemingly bent the knee to her on the boat, he did it in a manner it would count for horseshit. But then Cersei cornered him, and he had no choice but to pledge himself and the North publicly, all the while making a BIG SHOW of talking about promises and being true to one’s word. So, Jon is trying here to at least do that, be true to his word. Stubborn and misplaced loyalty because of the shame he feels at his actions and because he wants to preserve what’s left of his honour.
Let’s get back to Jon’s body language. At the feast, at the very beginning, his body is leaning towards hers. We see he is concerned by the fact she isn’t eating. But does he say something? Does he ask her, as a lover should, if she is feeling alright? No. If you love someone but can’t be with them for one reason or another, aren’t you still concerned with their well-being? Don’t you still care and show attention to them?
Then comes the Gendry scene. The tension in the room is palpable. Jon looks tense as well, and shares a wary look with Davos. He is wary of her, that is very clear. He doesn’t know what to expect. He makes a face of incredulity when she legitimizes Gendry. Then the tension is diffused by Davos and Jon gives Dany a constipated smile then raises his eyebrows in a “wtf was that” fashion when he turns away from her. The rest of the feast, his back is turned to her, he isn’t interested in spending any time with “the love of his life”. A turned back is easy to interpret. No need for skills in reading body language here. He is having a good time, laughing with his friends and Sansa. By the way, his body is very close to Sansa’s and is facing hers as well. Okay… Then he laughs at one of Tormund’s antics, unwittingly turns and when he sees Dany, his smile falters. He smiles again, looking uncomfortable, but hey, points for effort Jon! It is worth noticing that he hasn’t said a single word to her during the whole feast. Ah! The beauty of true love!
Then we have the bedroom scene. Oh God! There is a lot to say about that one, but this is already very long. In that scene, Jon looks exhausted and preoccupied when we find him in his room. Dany enters without knocking of course. He doesn’t even react at the sound of the door opening and doesn’t look especially thrilled to see her when she asks him “are you drunk?”. This small introductory bit is crucial in understanding the scene. It is established Jon is quite drunk, and not “only a little” as his body betrays his words. We are shown that everyone in the castle is drunk and horny, and why wouldn’t they be after surviving zombie apocalypse? Jon is drunk but doesn’t seem horny at that point of time as shown at the beginning of the scene, he is weary. Another thing shown in contrast. He sighs heavily then tries to give words of comfort at her loss of Jorah, but she turns the topic about herself and her feelings, not Jorah. Notice Jon’s slight frowning at that. She, as usual, takes the first step towards him physically and he lets her. He is drunk, she wants sex, he needs to keep her in check, so why not? However, if you look at his face before he kisses her, he closes his eyes way ahead of time. He is preparing himself mentally to kiss her. Closing one’s eyes in that fashion isn’t a good sign, it always means you don’t want to see what you see in front of you. As he is drunk, he gets carried away, but he is suddenly woken from his trance and the look on his face is as if he realized “shit, it’s her”. It’s like he’s shocked to see her. Then she opens her mouth and Jon turns his back on her, again. All of his emotions are displayed for us, and they are NOT positive ones, they express many things, none of which are love. From the moment she starts talking, his body tells us he is prepared for confrontation. The position with his hands on his hips says he is ready, he knows a fight is coming. He makes himself look larger, stronger with his elbows displayed as they are. I’m not saying it, body language is. She tries manipulating him, he tries to placate her. He displays irritation, frustration, disbelief, subservience, comfort. He frowns a lot too. She whines and wallows in self-pity, yells, begs, and ends the talk with an order. “I’ve just told you how”. This scene is so full with manipulation on both sides and body language, it is too rich to describe it here in details.
Now, onto the scene after she burns Varys. But before that, it is worth mentioning something about Jon’s body language when she burns Varys. Jon has his hands behind his back. We have rarely, to my knowledge, seen Jon in such physical stance. His body language tells us here he is trying to appear more confident than he is. It also shows he doesn’t want to appear as a threat, as his front body parts are exposed and vulnerable. Just before Drogon executes Varys, Jon looks away, probably not wanting to see it. But he changes his mind. Remember this: “don’t look away, father will know if you do.” After the fact, he looks at Dany and squints. This shows he is discomfortable and stressed. Afterwards, he goes to find her in her room, but except for a reproaching look to her, he doesn’t seem to have anything to say. He feels she is slipping, so I guess he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for her to be alone. However, notice that on the beach, when Varys came to find him earlier, Jon said she shouldn’t be alone. But did he go to see her and comfort her? No. So, in other words, she shouldn’t be alone, but I’m not the one to do the comforting. Stranger and stranger if she really is the love of his life, isn’t it? I mean, even with the incest thing, he should still be caring about her, right? Anyway, when he goes to find her in her room, he is in the same physical stance as during Varys’s execution. He is saying “I am not a threat” with his body. He is afraid of her. He also stays at a distance which means, in body language, that he doesn’t feel close to her and doesn’t wish for intimacy. Then she does her speech about not having love, only fear. It takes him a beat to tell her a half-assed “I love you”, quickly amended with his classical “you will always be my Queen”. He is trying here to have control over her again, because she is obviously on a slippery slope. Unfortunately for him, she takes it as an invitation and gets physically close. She even asks him “is that all I am to you? Your queen?” Valid question Dany, valid question… Of course, when she kisses him, he can’t return her kiss, even though he tries. Having still Varys barbecue smell in his nostrils, he is probably very disgusted. I mean, this is the guy who showed disgust at Melisandre burning Mance and who defied Stannis by shooting a mercy arrow in Mance’s heart for crying out loud! This is the guy who exiled Melisandre for burning Shireen, and told her she would be executed should she return North! He only spared her because she resurrected him. How can people forget that about Jon and say he should have slept with Dany to spare the lives of KL’s people? This kind of comment is gross, really. Jon whores himself only when he chooses to, okay people? Anyway, Jon lowers his eyes in shame, he can’t even look at her after the “unkiss”. Dany concludes by her comment “let it be fear” that she doesn’t have love. Meaning, Jon doesn’t love her, directly contradicting his statement. If Dany herself reaches this conclusion, why can’t we?
Another point I’d like to address is why on a few occasions Jon says Dany will be a good Queen. Does he truly believe it? Jon has proved to us that he is wary of her, even fears her. Many of his reactions since season 07 tell us he doesn’t approve of some of her choices, he chooses to lie to her regarding Sam in the reveal scene, he had to convince her multiple times not to take her dragons to KL and burn the Red Keep. So, why would he say that she would be a good Queen when he has been proven that she wouldn’t be? Well, consider this. Jon had to save the North, and to do so, he gave away his crown and the North’s independence. If she truly proves to be a bad Queen, or worse, if she proves to be her father’s daughter, then he screwed up big time, especially regarding the North and his family. When he gave away his crown, he was mostly thinking of the urgency of the moment, not wanting to think ahead. I don’t think he was even sure they would survive the fight against the WW as the “if we survive” of his scroll to Sansa suggests. But they did. So now, Jon’s decision to give away his crown and the North’s freedom to her to save his home and Westeros has real consequences. His decision created a big mess, in which he entrapped himself and his people, a mess he doesn’t know how to sort out. So, when he says she’ll be a good queen, it’s mostly wishful thinking because otherwise, he would have to admit he made a huge mistake. Also, right until s08e04, Jon still had enough influence on her, he was still able to sway her into doing the right thing. He made the same mistake Tyrion had before him in believing he could control her. But that was proven wrong in the next episode after she burned Varys and Jon understood that his control of her had vanished. He understood what she was about to do and couldn’t do anything to stop her. He failed, big time. Just like what Davos had told him when he got resurrected “then go fail again”. He thought he had done what was right to save his people and Westeros, just like he thought he had done what was right in saving the wildlings back then, and failed again. So, in the end, he chooses denial, which is a very human reaction.
In their last scene, again, he doesn’t get close to her, he doesn’t initiate physical contact, she does. She puts her hand on his chest, she takes his hand to bring it to her cheek. His other arm is unmoving, he is passive. It’s important to note as well, that before that, Jon had never shown any vulnerability in front of her. But here, while he is trying desperately to find reasons not to kill her, he is vulnerable. She closes the distance between them and he understands she wants to kiss him. He closes his eyes, they kiss, and tragically, that last kiss is his last act of manipulation. He had proven he didn’t even want to kiss her anymore after she burnt Varys, and here he is, kissing her, with the set purpose of killing her. When he finally stabs her, he doesn’t hold her body close, the way he held Ygritte’s, not with love and tenderness. If he’s crying, it’s over himself and the despicable and dishonourable deed he just committed, as the look he gives the dagger shows. And afterwards, he almost looks relieved when Drogon leaves with Dany’s body. The spiralling has finally stopped, the chains have been lifted. It’s over.
A lot of people complained about the fact the scene didn’t have any emotional impact, that it didn’t make them feel the tragedy of a lover killing his lover. It’s because this isn’t what we have been shown. This is not a man in love betraying the love of his life. It’s a subject committing treason towards his Queen. That’s why there is no emotional impact, it isn’t a love story ending tragically. We are not supposed to feel it that way.
Another telling thing is, in the finale’s script presented to the Emmys, Jon was supposed to tell Tyrion “I love her”, to which Tyrion replies “I know”. But that, which should have proved to us Jon was nothing more than a blind fool in love, didn’t make it in the final product. Why? Those two little lines wouldn’t have taken more than 5 seconds of time. So, there must be a good reason. We could add that when Tyrion tells him “I know you love her” (you know nothing, Tyrion Lannister) Jon makes a head movement while closing his eyes. He doesn’t seem to agree to that statement. Moreover, Tyrion the moron says he loves Dany too, but “not as successfully” as Jon. Really? I think we can hardly call Jon and Dany’s relationship successful. Tyrion has proven again and again to us that he isn’t a reliable narrator or witness to things. And he was actually the one blinded by his love for Daenerys.
Anyway, let’s get on with this thing.
The show seems to make a point in showing us there might be something more than sibling love between Jon and Sansa. Why would I say that? Because I’m a Jonsa shipper? No, because that’s what the show suggests. We have a lot of shots where Jon is sitting in between both women. We have Dany coming (symbolically) in between Jon and Sansa during Jaime’s trial. We have numerous shots of only Jon and Sansa. Sansa comes up all the time in Jon and Dany’s conversations in s08.
There is the fact that in season 07, he acted according to the trope where you turn back to have a last look at your loved one when he was leaving for Dragonstone, heading towards a possible trap.
There is the fact he looks entranced when he sees her again at Winterfell in the first episode, when he gets up to hug her. It is fleeting, you need to slow it down to see it, but it’s there. He licks his lips after he says “my sister” when introducing Sansa to Dany. I thought ok, maybe I’m reading too much into it here. But guess what? In the very same episode, when Cersei makes the decision to whore herself to Euron, Euron licks his lips very explicitly. Ha! Coincidence? I think not. By the way, Cersei uses the weapon between her legs to keep her ally close. Would it be so far-fetched to think Jon is doing the same with Dany, using the metaphorical sword between his legs to keep his ally close?
There is the fact that at the feast, Jon’s body is facing Sansa’s not Dany’s. Jon is so close to Sansa that would he want to, he would be sitting on her lap.
There is the fact that the show has made a point in showing us how triggered Jon was when Sansa’s name is mentioned by other men. We saw him beat Ramsay, choking Littlefinger (in an obvious Ned parallel), threatening Theon, giving the stink eye to Tyrion for mentioning their marriage. It is worth mentioning that the scenes with LF, Tyrion and Theon didn’t exist in the preliminary leaked scripts of season 07. And that the scenes that displayed intimacy growing between Jon and Dany didn’t make it at all in the final product. Why?
So, the show tells us Jon is undoubtedly overprotective of Sansa. Is that all there is to it? And more importantly, they make a point in showing us Dany threatening Sansa multiple times as well, and Jon not reacting. Do you honestly think Jon the overprotective brother would suddenly not be triggered? He is, but needs to be cautious with Dany. He doesn’t want Sansa to fry.
There is the fact that Sansa’s opinion of him seems to matter a lot. “Do you think I’m Joffrey?” “Do you have any faith in me at all?” “I’m her family too.” I mean, Sansa made him a Stark in all but name, constantly reaffirming his identity as a Stark, which is the first thing he has ever wanted in his life. We could add that not knowing who his mother was, was a big source of suffering for him. Now that he knows his whole parentage, Dany wants him to deny that huge part of his identity? So, either Jon has shit for eyes and brains and is a masochist to love Dany, or there are other more logical explanations to his behaviour in season 07 and 08.
It is also very clear that on Sansa’s side, her feelings for Jon are not those of a sibling. But she is not the subject here, our boy Jon is.
Jon’s last look when he leaves for the Watch at the end is for Sansa. There is pain and resignation in this look. And his last look of all looks, when he crosses the gate to go range in the real North and turns around, is for the North, for his home. Who is there, at home? Sansa.
I would like to add something I feel is quite important regarding this whole reading of Jon. The goodbye scene with Tormund showed us Jon didn’t want to go South. And that he considered the North as the North, even though Tormund didn’t. So even though he told Tormund he wished he could go with him, I think he actually wanted to stay in Winterfell, his home. His scene with Sam shows us something more important even. He is overjoyed at discovering Gilly’s pregnancy, I mean look at the man’s face, his smile is amazing. Then, you see his face is crestfallen after a few seconds. Jon obviously wants this for himself, he wants love, family, children. But he feels he can’t have it. He is going South with his emotionally unstable and barren aunt, who sees him as a threat and with whom he doesn’t want sex anyway and knows he is walking to his probable death. Then, if he lives, chances are he is staying with her in a city he strongly dislikes, to keep her in check as best as he can, and keep her away from his people and family. That’s why he leaves Ghost, that’s why he doesn’t even say goodbye to him (yes, yes, like all of us, I yelled at him for that back then). He knows he isn’t coming back, he is leaving behind his life as a Stark, symbolized by Ghost, and it hurts too much. That’s sacrificial Jon.
More importantly, his reaction to Gilly telling him they will name the baby after him if it is a boy, is revealing. He says “I hope it’s a girl”. What possible reason could Jon have to refuse the honour his BEST friend is bestowing upon him? Could it be he is ashamed of himself? And if so, why? At that point of the story, if we follow the official version, I see no possible explanation for this. But if we follow the non-official reading, the one we are encouraged to see since season 07, showed to us by acting choices, by dialogue choices and filming choices, well, it makes sense. If he deems himself not worthy, not honourable, the only reason I see is what he’s done to Dany (lying and manipulating) and the (necessary) mistakes he made along the way (giving his people’s freedom away).
I think I have given enough hints on how to read the story actually told to us, regardless of the official narrative. The choices they made in the product we have been presented, tell us a very different story than the official verbal one, the one they had to EXPLAIN to us in “Inside the episode” garbage and interviews. My guess is, knowing they would already get enough backlash for Dany’s turn and Jon’ s betrayal from Dany and Jonerys stans, they didn’t want to confirm the story they actually told as they probably feared the backlash would be even worse from that part of the fandom. That’s why they told us repeatedly to see beneath the surface and question what we think we know in season 07. That’s how we should read the story. Sadly, the result is a bland and seemingly badly written mess, it is a bastard one because it doesn’t fit with the official narrative (I don’t deny a lot of the last 2 seasons is still garbage though). They told us a story different than the official one, that’s why the official one doesn’t work. They tried to have it both ways, didn’t have the courage to make a stand and it showed.
As a last point, I will say that Jon wasn’t thrilled by the idea of having to kill Dany. By doing so, he knew he would lose what was left of his honour and dignity.
Killing her means committing treason towards the only monarch he has ever served, but also Queenslaying and kinslaying. His honour would be completely gone after that, wouldn’t it?
Moreover, after all the shameful things he’d done to get her North, killing her would be the straw that would finally break the camel.
He is already on the verge of breaking before he kills her, and for many reasons. He has seen too many horrors, too much death. Tormund makes a point of saying Jon keeps fighting and fighting at the feast but remember what he had told Sansa back then mid-season 06? “I’m tired of fighting!”. He has lost his life purpose when the NK died (his entire arc was built around that after all) and not even by his hand by the way. He can’t have what he really wants in life, he has engaged himself so deep in a game with Dany that led him to lose himself and shattered his values he doesn’t know who he is anymore because of it. Add to that the parentage reveal and the complications it brought, and probable feelings for his sister cousin Sansa as topping. That is more than any man can take.
His decisions led to a lot of mistakes, he has sold his people’s freedom to a tyrant. He has made himself and his men accomplices of a genocide committed by that tyrant. That’s where fear as well as a stubborn, misplaced and guilt driven sense of duty led him and his men. The man whose purpose used to be protecting mankind from a certain death made mistakes that led to the death of hundreds of thousands. I mean, I don’t blame him for KL, Dany did it, but I guess he partly feels responsible for that as well. Because he suspected beforehand what she was about to do and did nothing to stop her. All of this explains why he is so strongly hanging on to the only thing he has left: his honour. Before he kills her, Jon is lost, confused, shattered, he doesn’t know anymore right from wrong (or thinks he doesn’t anyway) and he is in denial too. How could he not be with all of this on his shoulders?
And why does he defend her in front of Tyrion few seconds after he said he couldn’t justify her actions? Well, there is something important here that easily explains this behaviour of Jon’s. Notice that he starts defending her only after Tyrion says Dany is “fire and blood”. That triggers him, he doesn’t want to be associated with his lineage words. “do you think our house words are stamped on our bodies when we are born and that’s who we are? Then I’d be fire and blood too.” He is taking it PERSONALLY. In other words: if I admit she embodies so well our common house words, if she is indeed “fire and blood”, it means I am too, and if she did those horrible things because of it, then am I the same? The man could have legitimate concerns about himself, as we have seen him beat Ramsay to a pulp, as if in a trance, for killing Rickon, for raping Sansa, pick your reasons… : “She saw her friend beheaded, she saw her dragon shot out of the sky!”. We also saw him going completely berserk on the battlefield during the BoB: ”Aye, it’s easy to judge when you’re standing far from the battlefield!”. He is taking Tyrion’s words about fire and blood personally, hence the excuses to what she’s done. Hence the fact he seems to not know anymore right from wrong: “Would you have done it?” Tyrion asks him. “I don’t know”. The first and only time the matter of his newfound identity is addressed, we learn that he is struggling with it.
The Aemon sentence Jon repeats to Tyrion “Love is the Death of Duty” is very telling as well. Jon says it to mirror what Tyrion said “love is more powerful than reason”. He has tried to live by Aemon’s words, always choosing duty over anything else, at least after his failed attempt to join with Robb. That experience had served as a lesson learnt. He fulfilled his duty to the Watch by infiltrating the wildlings and going back to Castle Black, leaving his love behind. He refused Stannis’ offer to make him a Stark and Lord of Winterfell, something he had always wanted, to fulfill his duty to the Watch. He fulfilled his duty to the realms of men by fighting the army of the dead by any means necessary, including manipulating Dany and pledging himself to her. He has tried to live by Aemon’s advice, even if those words could mean making bad choices, like fulfilling his duty to Dany.
Of course, Tyrion the moron, who isn’t a good judge of character at all, doesn’t get it and reverses the sentence thinking Jon is talking about his “love” for Dany and his duty to the realms of men. “Sometimes duty is the death of love. You are the shield that guards the realms of men. You’ve always tried to do the right thing, no matter the cost. You’ve tried to protect people, who is the greatest threat to the people now?” He gets it wrong, because Jon is actually thinking about his duty to Dany and love for his family (Sansa). That’s why Tyrion fails to convince him, because he doesn’t get the turmoil in which Jon is. Tyrion then mentions his sisters (he is getting closer. Notice how Jon’s expression changes at that). Jon replies that they will stay LOYAL to the Throne, meaning he expects them to do their duty. See? Another word implying that duty is what matters to Jon here! Anyway, Tyrion finally gets to the core of the problem when he says the magic word (Sansa) and tells Jon he has to choose.
Aemon had said:“We all do our duty when there is no cost to it, honour comes easy then, yet, sooner or later, in every man’s life, there comes a day when it is not easy, a day when he must choose.” The thing is, the choices Jon has always had to make were never easy, and yet he always chose duty. This time, despite the extreme circumstances in which his honour/duty is tested (The only monarch he has ever served is a mass murderer), the choice is more difficult than ever.
Firstly, Dany is a woman. Remember the first time he met Ygritte and couldn’t kill her? I don’t think Jon has ever killed a woman, let alone in cold blood.
Secondly, as I said, he would be a traitor, queenslayer and kinslayer. Just look at how people despised Jaime for killing his King! Even when he was known as the Mad King. Ned himself judged him hard for breaking his vows, despite the fact that very same King had killed his father and brother! They all called Jaime a man “without honour”.
And lastly, I think it is very important to take into consideration that Jon himself died, which is something Tyrion mentions in their conversation. Could it be to remind us of the traumatic circumstances of his death? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Jon died. How? Betrayed by his own men. He personally knows the taste of betrayal and it is not a sweet one. Remember how he was unbelieving and hurt before Olly stabbed him in the heart? Olly whom he loved and had made his steward? I bet Jon doesn’t want to be the perpetrator of such an act on anyone. What I’m saying is only confirmed by Tyrion’s words when he tells Jon:“ you won’t say because you don’t want to betray her”. No, Jon doesn’t really relish the idea of betrayal, and for good reason.
All of this explains why he is desperately trying to find reasons not to kill her.
It is very interesting to see that what pushes him to finally kill Dany, are the exact same words he shouted (in a very strong reaction) at Tyrion regarding Sansa:” she doesn’t get to choose!”. Why? Could it be because his own words were about Sansa specifically and Dany saying it confirmed his fear of Sansa dying? My guess would be yes. Sansa would never bend to Daenerys’ will, as confirmed by Arya and Tyrion. What happens to those who don’t bend to Dany? Well, “they don’t get to choose”. By hearing those words coming out of Dany’s mouth, Jon got the confirmation that the cost for doing his duty, the cost for preserving his honour, the cost of which Aemon’s words talk about, would be, in his case, Sansa’s life. It appears that in Jon’s eyes, this cost is too high.
Jon chooses and betrays his vows to his Queen. He chooses love over duty, just like Ned did so many years ago by lying to protect Jon (love for his family) from Robert’s wrath (duty to his King). He also ends up doing exactly what Ned did before his death, dishonour himself for Sansa’s sake.
I’d like to add that Jon’s confusion and turmoil could be further explained by Jaime’s words: “so many vows, they make you swear and swear. Defend the King, obey the King, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. What if your father despises the King? What if the King massacres the innocent? It’s too much. No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or another.” We can add to that, that when Jaime had HIS own choice to make, the King also asked him to bring him his father’s head… Jon is Jaime 2.0. That’s the situation he finds himself in (but even worse actually, because it’s aggravated by the other factors I mentioned before). He promised Sansa he would protect her. He pledged himself to Dany. Sansa doesn’t like Dany and Dany threatened Sansa many times. Dany is also a threat to the realms of men as she massacres the innocent and intends to keep doing so.
Another thing that confirms Jon’s state of mind, his stubbornness at fulfilling his duty (=preserving his honour) at (almost) all costs: Tyrion tells him he won’t be the last man she’ll execute and that her next target will probably be Jon. He says “it’s her decision, she is the Queen”. I mean, really Jon? I think he is past caring for his life anyway. The man is exhausted and hates himself.
Finally, he makes the RIGHT choice, not the supposedly “honourable” one by Westerosi standards, but the right one.
He ends up a broken man, with nothing to live for. The Watch is nothing but a place for “bastards and broken men”, which is quite fitting here, even though Jon has never truly been a bastard. He has no purpose anymore, no identity, no honour, no love, no family, no home. He tried to be smarter than his father, smarter than Robb, he didn’t lose his head, but he lost much much worse. He lost himself and everything he cherished and cared for. Some people called it a happy ending, I’d like to tell them what Mirri Maz Duur said in season 01: “you will see exactly what life is worth when all the rest has gone”.
Many thanks for reading!
Little bonus: “He was who he was; Jon Snow, bastard and oathbreaker, motherless, friendless, and damned. For the rest of his life, however long that might be, he would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows who dares not speak his true name.” GRRM
