We are what we pretend to be

SEBASTIAN BARNETT: HEIR TO THE GLASGOW PACK. “love doesn't conquer everything. and whoever thinks it does is a fool.”

[barnettseb-blog]

morrigan:

@barnettseb

     Morrigan hadn’t known what response to expect from the lycan heir when she invited him into town to explore the park, but she’d been pleasantly surprised when he’d said he’d be ‘delighted’ ( a direct quote, from the dork himself ). They agreed to meet in the late afternoon, when the sun was still up but not at its brightest. Morri wore a colorful shawl around her head, and carried a large sun-blocking umbrella. Most of her skin was covered in some way or another: gloves for her hands, a lengthy dress and long-sleeve shirt underneath it to cover her body. She didn’t venture out in the sun much, but she’d been longing for it lately. Spending time with Sebastian seemed like the perfect excuse to take the risk. 

    She could see him ahead of her in the park, waiting for her to arrive. “Sorry for being late.” Morri called out to him, approaching with a smile. She waved a hand over her own body, “It’s a bit of a process to prepare for the sun.” The only challenge of it all was to keep reminding herself that she was no longer human; no matter how much she ached to dance in the sunlight, she had to reign herself in and stay in the shadows. Closer now, Morrigan reached out a hand to gently squeeze the lycan’s shoulder. “How have you been since the party?” Her words were warm and soft. “I heard something went down…” She let the sentence drop, before realizing her concern for his well-being may be preserved as prying.  “–You don’t have to talk about it, that’s not what I was asking. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Morrigan clarified, watching his expression.

   Initially, he’d been surprised when Morrigan had invited him to go into the city, then he’d been suspicious, then he’d felt guilty for suspecting Morrigan of anything when she’d been nothing but nice to him. But he couldn’t go on trusting people so easily anymore, even if he desperately wanted to, not when the events of the week prior still ran on repeat in his dreams. He’d only talked to Morrigan briefly at the party before she’d made a quick retreat, so why would she be interested in talking to him now? At the very least, she seemed more suitably dressed than Dimitri had been. It was a relief, knowing that one of his vampire companions took the threat of the sun seriously. “I would have met you later than this, but I’m afraid I have to adhere to a strict curfew now.” It was more a self-imposed rule than anything Romulus had ordered. Sebastian really didn’t want to be caught off guard again.

   And Morrigan Crane was very good at catching him off guard. The weight of her hand on his shoulder felt heavier than it should have, made him stand very still just to see how long she’d keep it there. He took a breath, smiled slowly. “Something going down is certainly a good way to put it,” he said, thinking of Roman trying to escape and failing horribly. A laugh bubbled up inside of him and he had to cover his mouth. She was probably going to think he was hysterical. “Sorry. That’s really not how someone should react to their own abduction, I know. But it’s okay. I’m okay, I mean. I wasn’t alone, and I think that helped.”

[barnettseb-blog]

roman:

     There was a lot between them they should probably discuss, but Roman decided he and Sebastian deserved some time together that wasn’t marred with stress and emotion. For once, he just wanted to be and let be; to not read between the lines with every word they said to each other (….like things had been back in spain ). Roman had spent over and hour comparing the art exhibits in the area, going back and forth in an attempt to pick the one Sebastian would like the most. It wasn’t until he was there, standing in the lobby and staring at a painting on the wall that he began to worry Sebastian wouldn’t show. The last thing he’d want was Seb to think he was so sure of himself that he could demand his presence at the snap of his fingers. He stood in front of the painting with increasingly hunched shoulders, agonizing over the situation.

     Relief washed over him as the words were spoken. He offered a soft smile, turning his head to greet Sebastian. “Just another reason you shoulda kicked me to the curb.” Roman’s casual self-depreciation came out without thought. He moved on quickly, stuffing a hand in his pocket to pull out their tickets and show Sebastian. “You’re an expensive date.” He said, jokingly, before moving to the line that was heading into the museum. “I uh, hope there’s some stuff in here you like. I saw some familiar names–artists you’d talked about.” He remembered the little things.

   A pang of hurt, aching and old, spread out like cracking ice inside him. Sebastian hadn’t thought he’d ever get to talk like this with Roman again, not even when he was being hopeful, and doing so now, after everything, was painful. There was no way it could last. Sebastian was engaged and Roman was going to leave again. Maybe that’s what he’d called Sebastian here for, to tell him he was taking off. His smile flickered and turned sad for a moment, before he looked out at the gallery instead, huffing out a laugh. “You hope there’s some stuff in here I like?” he asked, chiding. “They have The Birth of Venus here, Roman. If I could live here, I would.” This had been the gallery he’d been most excited to see when his father had first mentioned Florence, and he’d been saving his first visit for a special occasion.

   He turned back, reached out and took one of the tickets from Roman’s hand, his own fingers lingering for a half second too long on the edges of Roman’s knuckles. They were warm, just like the rest of him should be. It struck Sebastian then that they were both pretending like the abduction had never happened, and for a second, he considered letting it be. So much of Roman’s time with him was spent being miserable, couldn’t they have just a couple hours with even the illusion of normalcy? But—“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said quietly, slipping his hand back to his side.

[ferine]

Visit Original Link

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy // Queen

I can dim the lights, and sing you songs full of sad things.

[barnettseb-blog]

PRANK WAR: A golden retriever had been released into Sebastian’s room with free reign and the overly excited dog began terrorizing the place, sniffing at clothes, pulling out cushions, tripping over things on the floor. The mess of the place and a lovable dog ready to pounce awaits him when he gets back.

When Sebastian opens the door, the unexpected weight of a golden retriever hits him square in the chest and knocks him flat on his ass with nothing more than a startled yelp and excited barking. “This is why I’m a cat person,” Sebastian mumbles from the floor to no one in particular as the dog sniffs at his face. He pushes the dog off him, idly scratching behind his ear as he peers into the mess that is his room now and sighs. “Alright, lets get you some food and water.” Then he looks the dog in the eyes very seriously. “Tell me, does the name Ashton mean anything to you?”

[barnettseb-blog]

dex:

There seemed to be something behind Sebastian’s words, an edge, like Dex had insulted him somehow, called him cowardly. Maybe, in the other’s eyes, running away was. Running was necessary in Dex’s line of work, sometimes you could fight, other times it was better to take the hit. Marriage out of the blue seemed like a reason to pick flight. “Lot’s of people run away from shit like that… arranged marriages,” Dex replied, “It’s reasonable. I would of.” Though, he’d already drawn the line in the sand. They were different people, from different walks of life. Oil and water, they’d never mix, even if some part deep down wanted to keep swirling. When Sebastian mentioned Dex calling him by his name, honey in his voice like he was trying to catch flies. He looked away, face reddening. “Oh. You’ve been paying attention? You care that much?” Dex tried to sound biting, but instead it just sounded embarrassed. 

It must of been hate, that made Dex feel this way. Like his lungs were on fire and his head working over dive. He wanted to come closer to size the princess up, kick and shove. Last time told him not too. Dex never had too, Sebastian came a step closer, a step towards his barrier, the line between them. His breath was gone. For a second, it felt like before. Then, of course, the princess spouted a bunch of bullshit about people he didn’t even know. “Who the fuck is Roman?” he asked, more anger than anything. Now, Dex wasn’t just confused about Sebastian, he was confused about what he was saying. “I don’t know a fucking Roman, kid. Whatever your smoking, you should probably cut down on it.” A part of him wanted to bridge the gap, grab the prince’s wrists and ask him to calm down for a fucking second and explain. It made his lungs constrict, thinking about it, having to be so close to someone like him, Romulus’ son. 

“Look, I have no clue what you’re on about. I’ll let you know,” he started, hopping up to sit on the table, legs swaying ever-so slightly. “After our little talk, I took the place of Dante with an… associate of mine, to which you didn’t show up despite us calling you to the stage a few time and performed… let’s call it a magic trick.” More like a magical murder, but Dex wasn’t about to get chewed out for having a little fun. “Then they announce an engagement with you and Margaret, you never fucking show, I finish up some business with a vampire friend of mine and leave. My friend calls me the next day, says she’s fucking off for a while, so I have to keep my… business running by myself. I was running shit the last two nights. Doing books during the day.” Whatever Sebastian was insinuating, Dex didn’t want any part of it. “Quid pro quo. I told you my story, how about you tell me yours.  Since you clearly think I did something.”

   It was like stepping into that place again, like it always was when he was around Dex. Like standing at the edge of some great, gaping chasm, so far away from everything else in his life, the wind howling in his ears, and something calling him forth, asking him to step over the ledge. Nothing ever felt quite real when he was with Dex, as if he could say anything and it wouldn’t matter. But maybe that was only because it never got back to anybody. Dex never told. Probably because he didn’t care enough to tell anybody. “Of course, I care that much.” The words burst out of him, and he just kept getting closer to Dex as the truth spilled out and soaked into the grimy floors of the café. “You’re either an idiot or you aren’t paying enough attention if you think I don’t. Actually, it’s probably both.” There was a sharp, bitter laugh that made its way up his throat. All the tension he’d been holding in since he’d got back to the estate seemed to bleed out of him all at once. If it was Dex, it didn’t matter. Who would he tell? Who would believe him? Even if Dex laughed in his face and mocked him, the hurt would only be internal.

   He studied Dex’s face, looking for any fault or crack to tell him that this was all an act. There was nothing. Dex was either an instinctive liar, or he was telling the truth. And Sebastian wasn’t even surprised enough to be relieved. He’d known all along, and only called it foolish hope. “You really had nothing to do with it,” he said softly. Then he turned, walked back towards the counter so he could take his phone out and erase the text to Ophelia, but also to give Dex space. He’d noticed how Dex had situated himself on the table—a retreat, trying to get away from Sebastian. Dex really was nervous that he was there. But now that Sebastian knew Dex hadn’t been involved in the kidnapping, he felt no need to encroach upon his secrets.

   “I really did intend to be back for your show,” he said, still turned away. Around him, the shop felt like the skeletal frame of some beast that had swallowed them both. Sebastian looked around, wondering what touches in the decor were Dex’s. “I thought Margaret was going to be furious with me after I stood her up like that, but she was very understanding.” His words sounded hollow, and he doubted Dex cared about any of it, particularly not about how the political pawns felt about the games they were being played in. “But something came up, very abruptly. I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Someone I cared about got involved because I was careless. It took a few days for everything to get sorted out.” Finally, he turned back to Dex and cocked his head to the side, considering him. “I was angry because I thought… you told me that caring would get me killed. Or worse. It made me think you were involved.”

[barnettseb-blog]

@rxmandrake

   Sebastian had been staring at his phone for the majority of the cab ride to the meeting place Roman had specified in his brief, uninformative text. It was just an address and a time to meet, the question mark tacked on at the end like an afterthought, as if Sebastian really had a choice on whether or not he’d come when Roman called. They hadn’t seen each other since they’d been rescued, but Sebastian had already been reassured that Roman hadn’t been hurt. Still, not seeing him, not confirming for himself that Roman was okay, had been like a physical ache, a white noise in the background that Sebastian couldn’t ignore when he was left alone with his thoughts. The text had been such a relief, standing in the middle of his apartment, biting his lower lip hard enough to hurt so that he could excuse away the sudden need to cry. It was ridiculous and embarrassing, and Sebastian had made sure to get that emotion under control before he headed out to meet Roman.

   The Uffizi Gallery was a many windowed monolith, intimidating in the way it’s sharp corners turned to encompass all that approached it, and Sebastian took a few moments to stare when the cab dropped him off before looking around for Roman. The crowds were thin this late in the January chill, so spotting him standing near a fountain wasn’t difficult. The sight of him made something tight and constricting unlock in Sebastian’s chest and for the first time in days, he felt he could breathe freely. Roman was fine. He was alive.

   “I don’t think you’ve ever taken me anywhere this nice before,” he said as he approached, relief heavy in the tone of his voice. Sebastian had tried for casual and failed.

[barnettseb-blog]

roman:

     Roman was so done with the situation he couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled in his chest. He was sure Sebastian wasn’t appreciating the movement Roman caused by the emotion, but there was nothing to help that. Of all the shit that could have happened tonight, this was so ridiculous Roman never could’ve seen it coming. Once the laughter subsided a bit, Roman turned his head so he wasn’t talking directly into Sebastian’s pants. It’d been several minutes since Sebastian said the comment, but Roman quietly let out a reply. “…I really liked you too.” Words that he should’ve said much sooner, he knew. Even when they’d been together, they relied on actions instead of words. It was easier that way, to not say things aloud. 

     Not long after Roman spoke, footsteps from the far end of the room indicated company was coming. He couldn’t do anything to stop this–Sebastian had been right. Maybe Roman knew that, all along. But the idea of being so helpless….to watch someone he loved die right in front of him… A G A I N. That would’ve too much to bare. He was hosted off of Sebastian, some comment or another about his pisspoor escape attempt was said but Roman barely registered it. They were untying Sebastian. Roman’s heart thumped in his chest, his throat feeling tighter than it ever had before. He had nothing left to give, no tricks up his sleeve. All he could do was beg.

      “Don’t hurt him.”         “–Please. Don’t hurt him. He doesn’t deserve that.” 

   That had been why Sebastian had slept with Roman. That’s why he’d liked him so much. The words were so sweet, spoken so boyishly shy, and even though their situation was doomed, Sebastian didn’t feel as scared as he had been. It was difficult to when Roman was being so stupid and earnest about everything. Nothing had gotten any better, but at least he wasn’t alone. For a brief instant, Sebastian was grateful that Roman was there, and Sebastian wouldn’t have to face whatever was about to happen on his own.

   Then there was the sound of footsteps.

   When they started to untie Sebastian and not Roman, a wave of dread came over him. They were being separated. “Where are we going?” he asked, but what he really wanted to ask was why they were keeping Roman there. If they killed him, Sebastian had thought the worst part would be having to watch, but maybe the worst part would be not knowing, maybe the worst part would be them holding it over his head. Either way, no one answered his question. They started to lead him out of the room and all Sebastian could think about was what if this was the last time he’d see Roman. He twisted in the grip of a lycan who had an ironclad grasp on his upper arm, and he started to sign, his fingers clumsy. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. For everything.’ Someone must have realized what he was doing because the lycan who had a grip on him pulled on his arm until he stumbled forward. The last thing he heard was Roman pleading, and then he was pushed out of the room.

[barnettseb-blog]

dex:

Dex clicked his tongue against the upper roof of his mouth, annoyed at Sebastian’s comment. Nervousness didn’t sit naturally with him, thrummed in his veins like a poison that needed to be purged. Of course he was nervous, the prince was never supposed to be at his home turf. Not before Dex showed him, at least. There was a fucking plan and the kid had to shatter it with his own two hands. “We’re far from the nice, touristy parts of town, kid. We’re out in the warehouse district,” he commented, tamping down whatever anxiety he felt about the other lycan being so close to an important secret. “This isn’t some place you stumble upon by accident.” Nobody came here for coffee, not unless they knew Dex, Stella or his establishment. Even then, most would only venture this far out on late weekend evenings. 

“Of course I’m fucking surprised. I thought you skipped town,” he replied with a shrug. That’s what made the most sense to him, at least. To be frank, Margaret didn’t seem to be Sebastian’s type. Even if he did also like women. Though, the fact that Sebastian was on his doorstep and not two-thousand miles away was clear evidence of something else. Maybe he threw a fit, because he didn’t know about it. That seemed plausible. “Which part? Our fun little romp backstage together or the part where you didn’t show up for a very important engagement announcement?” Then, of course, Dex realized the little game the prince played. Get him hooked on another topic, make him forget about the unanswered questions. “Why are you here, Sebastian?” 

It was clear to him the other night, or he thought it was. The heir of the Glasglow pack was a nuisance, someone who made Dex beyond furious and would probably later bite him in the ass. Now, of course, that the kid was a step closer and a touch more in focus, Dex wasn’t so sure. Being around Sebastian always was confusing, so he’d resolved to just avoid him. No such luck. “Look, if you have something to say, say it. If you want something, ask for it. I don’t have time today to play games,” he said, more tired than anything else. Even if it was a lie, that he could entertain Sebastian for a little while, as his work wasn’t that important, he’d rather not. “Either that or I kick you out and you can run back to your bride-to-be and pick out flower arrangements or an extra-martial affair together.” 

   There wasn’t even a hint of flirtation in the malice of Dex’s words, and it made Sebastian curious. He’d started to tune it out, because he knew Dex was never serious, only said those things to get a reaction, and the worst thing Sebastian could do was give him one. Now though, Dex wasn’t even attempting to hide behind casual flirting. Something had changed, and Sebastian wasn’t sure what it was. Thinking back to the interaction they’d had backstage at the party was like trying to remember a faded dream, the edges eaten away at and obscured by what had happened directly after. If Dex had been involved, how could he have looked at Sebastian like he had, as if Sebastian was pulling some long-abandoned thread inside his chest and if he kept at it, Dex was going to unravel right in front him. Maybe this wasn’t the first time Sebastian was close to something Dex would rather not have him see.

   “You thought I ran away.” He was surprised at just how offended he sounded, even to his own ears. “After everything I said?” Suddenly, it was impossible to keep the mask he was wearing from cracking, and he looked away, wondering why this was affecting him so much. Why had he expected Dex to listen, or to understand? They weren’t the same, Dex had said it himself, Sebastian was the only one who recognized anything in Dex. Yet still, still, Sebastian couldn’t help but swallow around a sudden bloom of awe. “That’s the first time you’ve said my actual name.” It was nice, the way Dex said it. He wanted to hear it again.

   This happened every time he was with Dex. It was always so easy to let his guard down and say things he’d regret later, as if he wanted Dex to understand. He had to quickly compose himself again, because he still hadn’t gotten a conclusive answer, and if he kept dodging all of Dex’s questions, he suspected Dex really was going to kick him out. It was time to try a different tactic. Finally, he looked back at Dex, determined. “Fine, let’s not play games then.” Sebastian took another step closer, his breathing getting just a bit quicker. He had to be careful to give away just enough that if Dex didn’t know anything, he would stay that way, and if he did know something, he’d react. “I want to know why Roman was involved at all. He doesn’t have anything to do with the truce. They could have waited for him to leave to get me alone, but they didn’t. That was a huge risk to take. Why?” His hands were balled into fists at his sides, real anger slipping into his posture. All Roman was ever going to experience was pain when he was with Sebastian and that… it just wasn’t fair.

[barnettseb-blog]

dex:

Music blasting through his earbuds, Dex was briskly making his way across Florence, paying little attention to his surroundings as he made his way through the lavish, tourist infested areas out to the warehouse district where his base of operations was. Mostly, he’d wanted a relaxing day, one where he could sip coffee without others around and brood on the events from a few days ago. Mostly, he just wanted to escape any and all thoughts of what took place that night, along with all the other fallout. Once he reached the Pit, dull glass windows and wearing wood, he jangled the keys in the lock, before the old door popped open again. He quickly made his way through the coffee shop, to the back, making his way through the open ring to grab a few things from his office. 

Faintly, Dex thought he might have heard bell chimes, but he couldn’t really tell whether it was his music or not. Pulling the earbuds out, he made his way towards the front of store, a few notebooks and a laptop tucked under his arm. Mostly, Dex expected to see a confused customer, not someone bending over his bar. A smirk dancing across his face, Dex wetted his bottom lip. “Hey, Fred Jones,” he called over, making a few tentative steps towards his shitty intruder. “Nice positioning, real nice ass, but I’m not too sure what monster you think is behind my counter, I assure you it’s just coffee beans and—” Dex had been continually walking towards the mystery man, circling him until Dex caught a brief glimpse of his face. His face fell to a scowl, watching Sebastian Barnett make a fool of himself. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck are you doing here?” he snarled, voice low, though Dex would prefer it if he were screaming. After that night, the princess was supposed to stay away. Seeing him now only made Dex more frustrated, his an uncomfortable tightness. “How’d you get this address?” he asked, setting down his few things on a table. He then turned around and leaned against it, arms crossed. “What are you doing here? Someone send you to spy on me? I assure you, my business is all perfectly legal. Inspect the coffee beans, if you want,” he smiled. “Though, I doubt you’d know the first thing. So whoever sent you is an idiot.”

   The sound of Dex’s voice made Sebastian freeze involuntarily. He’d told himself on the way here that he was ready for this, that he could confront this, and that his conflicting feelings about Dex wouldn’t get in the way of him finding out the truth. If Dex had been involved in the kidnapping, none of it would matter anyway. It would just be another tally in the long list of mistakes he’d made over pretty boys who only wanted to cause Sebastian trouble. Yet, even with all that in mind, it still took Sebastian a moment to compose himself and turn around to face Dex’s scowl. He stared back as blankly as he could, revealing nothing, shoving down the nerves that threatened to shake their way to the surface. In his coat pocket, he had a text written out to Ophelia with the time and his location and who he’d been following. One simple tap of a button would send it. Sebastian had hoped that would make him feel braver. It didn’t.

   “You seem pretty nervous,” he commented when Dex was done with his tirade. It was even true. Dex was highly agitated about something, brimming with anger, which meant Sebastian was close to something he shouldn’t be. His eyes traveled to the laptop and notebook, then to the door Dex had appeared through. What was back there, he wondered. “Weird that you’d assume someone sent me here to this perfectly legal coffee shop, which you apparently own.” He couldn’t help it, the corners of his lips turned up. Was Dex a barista? That was adorable, and he hated himself immediately for thinking so.

   But that wasn’t why he was here. “You’re surprised to see me,” he went on, stepping away from the counter and more towards Dex. He was paying close attention to Dex’s expression, looking for any slip that might mean he knew more than he was letting on. If their past interactions had taught Sebastian anything it was that Dex’s poker face took time to break down. He was a good liar, maybe even better than Sebastian, but he wasn’t perfect. “I guess that’s to be expected after what happened at the party.” The words were purposefully vague, so that Dex would fill in the blanks for himself. Sebastian himself wore a mask of complete innocence, unaffected by Dex’s clear contempt for him. There was nothing on his face to reveal that Dex hating him stung.

[barnettseb-blog]

dimitri:

 The question caught Dimitri off-guard, almost making him lose poise on the perfect situation he had with his umbrella as he turned to face Sebastian. It had been a question long on his mind after meeting Lawrence and the queen he looked he served under, but even after his death and subsequently working under Keket, he continued to pose that question to himself as nights had gone by in his position. There was no fair amount of backstabbing and the bureaucracy that she had formed seemed to be more of an echo of the monarchy she once had rather than a necessary tool for the well-being of her constituents. Was she a good leader for the vampires? Was she even a good leader in general?

 These questions could get him killed if he ever asked them to her face, or even whispered it when they were in Montreal–Dimitri would have had some self-serving political player to deal with and they would have most likely tried to get him off as an adviser to Keket. Perhaps it was this fear that answered his question, and not the half-assed answer that he was supposed to give to the heir to the lycan throne. Perhaps he could have grown a spine once his ghosts were all dealt with, making him a free man once more. Perhaps he could have been more than a measly writer, who was way out of his depth.

 “I don’t know,” he replied, his voice steady, trying not to say anything that could land him in deep trouble with his higher-ups. He particularly liked his head to be kept on his shoulders, and with the spies that Keket has everywhere, he wouldn’t be surprised if any of their private conversation reached her by the end of the day. “She… is a capable leader, coming from a monarchy of her own, used to making hard choices and wise ones all the same. That said, I still don’t believe in the war that she and Romulus kept on all those years, but at least it’s all said and done now.”

 “How about you? What–is your father a good leader? A good man?”

   The question had surprised Dimitri, Sebastian could tell by the way it took him a while to answer, and he almost regretted asking in the first place. It seemed to shift their relationship, from tentative friends to political players, testing the boundaries of where the other stood. It would have had to happen eventually, with the nature of who they both were, Sebastian only regretted that it was happening so soon into their relationship. It was always awful, having to ruin something innocent with the baggage his father brought to Sebastian’s life. Yet, it was inevitable, as was Dimitri’s answer.

   “All said and done now,” he echoed, focusing on it rather than the fact that Dimitri hadn’t immediately answered yes when asked if Keket was a good leader. Capable had nothing to do with it. That was just a way to lighten the blow. Dimitri hadn’t said yes, which was to say, he’d meant no. It was a good sign, and it emboldened Sebastian to continue. “Sometimes I wonder about that. If it’s really going to end with the marriage, or if they’ve just gotten tired of the game and decided to play it differently. Play it with more secrets.”

   What had bothered Sebastian most about his kidnappers, and what continued to haunt him late into the night, was that they hadn’t just looked angry when they’d confronted him with their truth, they’d looked desperate. They’d looked afraid. And now they were all dead. Or so his father had said. “My father has never been a good man, and I doubt he’d be very insulted in me saying so. Goodness has never had anything to do with it for him. It’s about power, and whether he wields it well or not isn’t for me to say.” Sebastian finally turned to look at Dimitri directly, pausing to study his face and make sure he was going to understand exactly what Sebastian meant when he said, “He’d do anything not to lose that power. Sacrifice anything.”  

[barnettseb-blog]

roman:

     The last thing either of them could afford right now was Sebastian resigning to his fate. Roman stopped moving, giving the other man a long look. Roman wore worry like a well-fitting coat, but he’d always been able to shirk it off in do-or-die situations. He was a man of action ( never-mind the fact that the action in question was usually running ). “There’s no way this is going to end well with your father involved.” His words were matter of fact, as if he’d run the possible scenarios in his head already–which he had. “The best case scenario is rescue comes bursting in and we get killed in the crossfire.” Romulus’ idea of a solution was bombing a building to deal with a bug problem. Roman’s lip lifted in a half-smirk, saying, “In the real world, the prince has to save himself.”

     With that, Roman began shifting in his chair, using his weight to push it across the floor and closer to Sebastian. He huffed, progress slow and painful as the ropes chaffed him. "Can’t break the ropes, but we can break the chairs.” Roman said, somewhat proud of himself. He rocked harder, trying to gain enough momentum to throw himself back with force. The chair suddenly toppled–but instead of going backwards onto the concrete floor, it went to the side and landed Roman’s face right into Sebastian’s crotch. Roman was silent, aside from the sound of his heavy breathing. “Do you seriously have a boner right now.” It wasn’t a question. If he was going to ask a question it would have been, ‘Hey God–am i seriously going to die with my face in another man’s crotch as punishment for repressing my homosexuality the majority of my life?’

“I’ve changed my mind. I’m okay with dying as long as it happens right this second.”

   “Roman,” Sebastian warned again, exasperated. He was quickly growing very tired of people around him thinking they knew his father better than he did, even if there was some kernel of truth to the sentiment. Roman hadn’t even stuck around the last time Romulus had showed up, he thought childishly, so what could he know about the man’s tactics? “Would you just stop and think for a second!” But Roman seemed determined. Sebastian thought he would have learned by now that there was no stopping him once he’d decided something. He sighed, watching in dismay as Roman moved his chair inch by terrible inch. “You are so corny, how does your daughter put up with you?”

   And then everything got much, much worse, somehow. There was a moment, where time seemed to stand still, and Roman’s chair legs balanced between two options: sending him falling backwards or pushing him forward towards Sebastian. Either way, Sebastian knew the chairs were sturdy enough that a simple fall wouldn’t break them, not that Roman seemed interested in things like logic at this point. Gravity chose the second option and Roman landed with his face in Sebastian’s lap. A muffled, yelping sound left his mouth before he could stop it, and Sebastian jerked back in surprise. Roman went on mumbling into Sebastian’s pants, but Sebastian was tuning him out, he had to or else he was going to start yelling. “I can not believe I slept with you,” he muttered up towards the ceiling. “God, I really liked you. Why is my taste in men like this?” It probably wasn’t the most important revelation to be having right then, though Sebastian could hardly be blamed for not being able to think of anything else what with where Roman’s face was pressed. If anything, Roman had at least succeeded in taking Sebastian’s mind off more defeatist thoughts.

[barnettseb-blog]

@dexwoo

   Technically, Sebastian had been told not to leave the estate without supervision, and for a few days, he’d even heeded that advice. Security had been heightened, though only subtly so as not to frighten those who were ignorant of the events occurring during the party. Still, it had been difficult to slip out of the estate’s ground without raising any alarm. He’d gone to his favorite gallery to calm himself, feeling outside his body and outside of the events that had happened in the past week. He just needed some time to think and plan what his next steps were, if there were even any to take. His kidnappers’ words kept repeating in his mind at night, making it hard to sleep. When he left the gallery, the words returned to him, following him down the street as he looked for a cab to hail.

   Instead, his eyes caught on something much worse.

   Dex was walking with his back turned to Sebastian, turning a corner and disappearing out of sight. If Sebastian had only looked up a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have seen him at all. New words started to flood his mind, memories of what had happened with Dex before he’d been taken. ‘Caring gets you killed. Or worse.’ Had he known? Had Dex been involved? The thought made him grow cold with dread, his whole body shuddering.

   Without thinking, Sebastian quickly crossed the street and followed after Dex, made it just in time to see him making another turn down a smaller side street. Sebastian stayed up-wind, making sure not to let Dex catch his sent and keeping a wide distance between them. Eventually, they made their way to the outskirts of the city, where the streets were lined with warehouses not unlike the place he and Roman had been kept. The heavy unease in Sebastian’s stomach grew. But Dex didn’t enter any of the warehouses, instead he entered a small building, and when Sebastian approached it, he realized it was a dingy little coffee shop. This was definitely not what he’d been expecting. After a few seconds, the curiosity got the better of him, and Sebastian pushed the tiny door open, and a jingle of bells sounded. He looked around the shop, but Dex wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Tentatively, Sebastian went to the counter and leaned over it to see what might be behind it.

[barnettseb-blog]

@stromaintic

   Sebastian didn’t know who had told Dimitri about what had happened to him and Roman on the night of his birthday party, but when Sebastian had run into him, he’d had a look in his eyes like he wouldn’t be fooled by whatever excuses Sebastian was capable of producing. Dimitri was a high ranking member of Keket’s order after all, so it wouldn’t do well for Sebastian to underestimate her information network, though it was starting to feel like Romulus’s plan to keep this all hushed up was doomed to fail. Half the estate must have known by now. Sebastian could only imagine what they must think of the truce and its fragility. His engagement to Margaret had been meant to strengthen their ties, not sever them further.

   A heavy sigh congealed in the air around Sebastian’s head, his breath rising and dissipating into the greying sky. It was cold enough still that he had to wear a coat, and bright enough that Dimitri was carrying a parasol. It looked flimsy, though Dimitri didn’t seem to mind the ever-looming threat of the sun as it started to sink. Still, Sebastian made sure to put himself always between it’s path and Dimitri.

   They were walking along the river, away from where the tourists flocked, and Sebastian had been quiet, trying to pick his words carefully. “I’ve been wondering,” he finally started. “Do you like working under Keket? Is she… is she worthy of being followed?” Dimitri was nice, and Sebastian wanted more than anything to trust him, but he couldn’t let himself blindly rush into this.

[barnettseb-blog]

dex:

sebastian:

   There was an unfurling warmth in his chest at Dex’s words, completely at odds with the fact that this was still a threat. It was nearly like affection, nearly like a magnetic pull, nearly like longing, except he couldn’t allow himself to feel any of those things for Dex, so that couldn’t be what it was. Sebastian had been sure he’d just been teasing at the bar when it came to all those stolen paintings, especially because it had been he himself who had brought it up as a joke, but Dex kept mentioning it, and now Sebastian suspected maybe Dex had been there at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. His pupils dilated further in the already dark space until there was only a ring of blue iris left. “You have a Klimt…” He sounded disbelieving, and unsure, and there was a barely contained excitement under his breath. For an instant, he wanted to demand Dex stop everything and take him to see it, but he’d almost certainly say no, and Sebastian didn’t have the leverage to force him. He knew logically that shouldn’t have been his focus, Dex had just made a rather serious threat on his life after all. And yet, Sebastian didn’t feel like he was in any real, physical danger. At least not yet, and not here.

   But that warm, aching feeling only continued to spread as Dex’s voice got softer and quieter, the burning hiss of his cigarette hitting the wooden floor loud in comparison. It overtook everything else inside Sebastian as he watched Dex’s features grow gentle, his gaze locked on where Sebastian was holding on to him. He knew he shouldn’t put a name to that feeling, because once he named it, the feeling was his, and there could be no denying it. It couldn’t be affection, it couldn’t be longing, Sebastian couldn’t like Dex—Dex was awful, and rude, and frustrating. Except he did. Sebastian did. Sebastian really really liked Dex. “Oh god,” he breathed, dismayed as the realization settled in. There was no way this was going to end well for him. Dex had even admitted it himself: he was mean, he was only toying with Sebastian for his reactions.

   It was for the best, when Dex tore his arm away fromSebastian’s grip, despite the flash of hurt it sent through his expression. Sebastian looked away quickly, biting down on his lower lip hard. It would only give Dex more ammunition to use against him if he realized just how much Sebastian did care, so he’d have to stop being so reckless. What had he even been thinking, allowing himself to become this compromised when outside his father was getting ready to announce his engagement. There was no time for this. “You’re right,” he said, and fuck, his voice hadnearly broken. The hand that Dex had shaken off was clenched into a loose fist around empty air. Sebastian shut his eyes, took a deep breath, cleared his throat. He only needed a second to regain his composure. “You’re right,” he said again, but he was still unable to look back at Dex. “I can’t.”

   His posture was ramrod straight and filled with tension as he made himself take a few wooden steps backwards. He gestured to the new space he’d created between them. “Enjoy the rest of the party, and… I guess whatever it is you have planned here. I’ll look forward to the show.” Then, feeling like his whole body has been filled in with cement, he turned to leave.

Even though Dex had pulled his arm away, pushed away the almost touch that had occurred between them didn’t stop a strange tingling from enveloping it. It felt completely different from when he’d grabbed Sebastian’s wrist, pulled him out into chilly air and watched the heir speed away with the phrase, you’re so full of shit, ringing in his ears. The cigarette was out, not that Dex would pick it up and smoke it anyway, slowly fanning out the smokey haze between them. It was the nicotine, he decided, that was the culprit for the strange feeling. Not the fact that in the dark, shadows dancing across his face, Sebastian looked like someone he’d rather forget. Not the fact Sebastian questions him like he did. Saw through his bullshit faster than anybody else could, with only a few traded sentences between them. 

Sebastian’s voice sounded so fucking strained, like glass cracking, the crumbling of a building. It caused Dex’s head to snap back towards the younger lycan, only to catch a glimpse of an expression that he couldn’t put his finger on. It almost looked sad, made his heart stutter and demand Dex backtrack, grab Sebastian’s hands again and try to soothe whatever he had caused. He felt a twinge of guilt. Confusing, aching, guilt. He had to keep a mantra throughout, this is not him, this is just some guy who you know nothing about. Eyes-wide and star-struck, he watched as Sebastian quickly able to take hold of his emotions, tensing at the second mention of how Dex was right. 

The smoke cleared and everything became so clear, like a dump of water on his head. Watching Sebastian create space, the air that Dex felt he could finally breathe. He swatted at his leather jacket, as if to attempt to clean it of all touch, smile gracing his lips. It was all so simple. Still, the lycan princess looked more stiff, if that was even possible. Could be a straight-up statue. “I won’t,” he replied, “This party is boring, anyway.” He pushed away the thoughts that it was interesting up until the point Sebastian wanted to leave. “Hope you enjoy my show, princeling. Thanks for not calling the I.C.U.”

Watching the heir walk away, entering into the kingdom of light from the clutches of darkness, Dex couldn’t help but smirk at his revelation. 

Dexter hated Sebastian Barnett. That had to be it. It couldn’t be anything else. 

    E N D

[barnettseb-blog]

margaret:

            Margaret spent the day preparing for the evening. She deserves to treat herself after the rough few days she’s had. There was the engagement, a missing fiancé who turns out to have been kidnapped — kidnapped! — and a dismal encounter with Morrigan. While Margaret’s relieved Sebastian hadn’t meant to humiliate her by skipping the announcement, she’s not quite sure who’s had the worse week. She mulls over the question as she combs her hair, smooths on a face mask, and watches the home shopping network from the couch, yet she’s no closer to figuring out the answer than she was when the news first arrived. 

           After slipping into a decent dress and a pair of pearls, Margaret’s about to find the boy herself when there’s a knock at the door. She’s expecting Ashton, so it’s a little surprising to find Sebastian on the other side, not that she’s complaing. The heels she wears aren’t the best for running around Italy in search of a lycan. “Apologies?” Margaret gasps, eyes drawing up from the pretty bouquet to give him a frown. “Sebastian, that’s completely unnecessary. You’re hardly in a place to ask forgiveness, you’ve done nothing wrong,” she assures him with a genuine smile. “But,” she begins, stepping into the hall to touch the bulbs and breathe their perfume, “I will accept the flowers because they’re perfect. Thank you.”

          They could be stilted, as awkward as any arranged marriage, but Margaret’s already spent the better part of the past week irritated towards him. She’s eager to move on. They have enough troubles — with a ruined first impression and an imperiled groom. ( not the drama she wanted from an engagement announcement. ) “I was just coming to see you, actually. I figured you would want some rest first, or that your everyone would have hundreds of questions for you, so I wanted to wait … Would you like to bring those inside?” She gestures to the door, her other hand resting lightly on his shoulder as if to say it’s not an invitation he can deny. “I was a little worried we wouldn’t have the pleasure of meeting. You’ve had quite an adventure.”

   Sebastian paused for half of a second to think about what he was wearing –a sweater over a button-down shirt, his hair combed only so much that it might stay out of his eyes— and felt woefully underdressed compared to Margaret. She looked dewy and refreshed and effortlessly beautiful and Sebastian probably looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep in a solid week. Which wasn’t all together untrue. He wanted desperately to shove the flowers at her and turn and march back down the hall in shame, but he’d already insulted her with his own stupidity once this week, he hardly thought she’d be so forgiving of him if he did it twice. “I…” he began slowly, unsure if the pleasantries were just covering for something else. Sebastian knew precious little about Margaret, and felt very unprepared. “It was a stupid mistake. I should have known better than to go off on my own when things are so precarious.”

   More precarious than he had even known if his kidnappers had been speaking the truth. Sebastian still wasn’t sure what their story would mean going forward, for the truce and for the engagement, but he had decided to keep the course he’d been set on for now. There wasn’t much other choice until he could find out a way to verify what he’d been told. Margaret, of course, couldn’t know a word of it. Sebastian hadn’t even told Florence of his father during his debriefing. It would only serve to further complicate things. “I’ve been careless lately.” An understatement. “I only wanted to reassure you that nothing like this will happen again. I’m normally more reliable than this.”  

   Then her hand was on his shoulder and he blinked over at her, before nodding. “Of course,” he said, and carried the flowers over the threshold, into her apartment. He shouldn’t have feel quite nearly so trapped as the door shut behind them both, but he still didn’t know what to expect from Margaret, and it was making him uneasy. “It’s really not an adventure I’d care to repeat. Growing up, I’d always been warned it was a possibility, but it… wasn’t really what I expected.”

[barnettseb-blog]

dex:

The princess was keeping his cool, which caused a strong eyebrow quirk from Dex. Usually people didn’t take well to death threats for them or their ‘loved ones’. He listened, didn’t mention how this time was different, how the forces at play would allow for a different outcome than before. Romulus had never been well liked, the number of assassination attempts are well known. They mostly end in the swiftest, harshest judgement possible. But, it is no longer just lycan business, now that the vampires have come into play. “The Tyrant’s head is a symbol, a trophy. It’s gruesome for a reason,” Dex started, punctuating the statement with a shrug. “I think I’d rather have you painted. I like art, it would be better suited to you.” Sebastian was pretty, maybe Dex would use other words if he was high. It’d be a shame to waste that, mount and stuff something so it looked like a crude approximation of the real thing. A grin went from ear to ear, remembering a certain part of their last conversation. “I’ll hang you up right next to my Rembrandt, across from the Degas. I was going to put the Klimt there… but I’d like to look at you more than her.” 

Eyes wandered to other parts of the stage, the quiet between them more deafening that anything else. Dex’s eyes snapped back once he saw some moment, Sebastian raising his arm, only to thrust it back down again. If anything, Dex should if disregarded the motion, chalk it up to the strange nature of their conversation. Instead, it drove him crazy because he wanted to know. Dex hated not knowing, being left in the dark. Plus, they were so close he could swear he could hear Sebastian’s breath, feel a thrumming of energy that drew him closer yet also wanted to make him run away. Wetting his lips, Dex answer a shaky, “Opportunity,” before Sebastian suddenly latched on to his sleeve. His vision followed, watching warm fingers brushing against his hand, the grip of knuckles against dark leather. He dropped his cigarette, a soft hiss was made as burning embers hit the ground. “You were there, I was curious. I’d only seen you from far away, I wanted a chance to get up close,” he continued, gaze still fixated on the hand close to his. His voice was hushed now, softer, more truthful; Dex couldn’t help it. He couldn’t think clearly when his stomach was doing flip-flops. “That’s just how I am. I’m mean.” 

Dex was mean to Sebastian in a way that was different from anyone else, from the snark he had with Astor, the violence with Ashton, hell, even how cruel and uncaring he was when he first met Stella. “I want… to annoy you. Your reactions are fun,” he lied, trying to divert himself away from the few truths he’d spilled before, things he laid bare but never meant to. Sebastian was very good at making him do things he didn’t mean to. He’d should of stay distant, hostile, uncaring; god, he’d never should of promised to not tell. Even if he wasn’t going to regardless. He’d just looked so scared, more youthful and Dex let his heart guide him rather than his head. Maybe, he wasn’t the only one out of the pair that wasn’t thinking. “You don’t know? You’re confusing.” You’re confusing me, he wanted to say. He didn’t like all the things he felt with prince, the soup of emotions Dex could never tease apart from one another. It was too warm, his senses were too responsive, there was a pounding coming from somewhere deep inside. It needed to stop, because Dex hated it.  

“You shouldn’t,” he said at last, yanking his sleeve away from Sebastian, pulling his arm back. He had to think straight. “Even if you do, you can’t. Caring gets you killed. Or worse.” 

   There was an unfurling warmth in his chest at Dex’s words, completely at odds with the fact that this was still a threat. It was nearly like affection, nearly like a magnetic pull, nearly like longing, except he couldn’t allow himself to feel any of those things for Dex, so that couldn’t be what it was. Sebastian had been sure he’d just been teasing at the bar when it came to all those stolen paintings, especially because it had been he himself who had brought it up as a joke, but Dex kept mentioning it, and now Sebastian suspected maybe Dex had been there at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. His pupils dilated further in the already dark space until there was only a ring of blue iris left. “You have a Klimt…” He sounded disbelieving, and unsure, and there was a barely contained excitement under his breath. For an instant, he wanted to demand Dex stop everything and take him to see it, but he’d almost certainly say no, and Sebastian didn’t have the leverage to force him. He knew logically that shouldn’t have been his focus, Dex had just made a rather serious threat on his life after all. And yet, Sebastian didn’t feel like he was in any real, physical danger. At least not yet, and not here.

   But that warm, aching feeling only continued to spread as Dex’s voice got softer and quieter, the burning hiss of his cigarette hitting the wooden floor loud in comparison. It overtook everything else inside Sebastian as he watched Dex’s features grow gentle, his gaze locked on where Sebastian was holding on to him. He knew he shouldn’t put a name to that feeling, because once he named it, the feeling was his, and there could be no denying it. It couldn’t be affection, it couldn’t be longing, Sebastian couldn’t like Dex—Dex was awful, and rude, and frustrating. Except he did. Sebastian did. Sebastian really really liked Dex. “Oh god,” he breathed, dismayed as the realization settled in. There was no way this was going to end well for him. Dex had even admitted it himself: he was mean, he was only toying with Sebastian for his reactions.

   It was for the best, when Dex tore his arm away from Sebastian’s grip, despite the flash of hurt it sent through his expression. Sebastian looked away quickly, biting down on his lower lip hard. It would only give Dex more ammunition to use against him if he realized just how much Sebastian did care, so he’d have to stop being so reckless. What had he even been thinking, allowing himself to become this compromised when outside his father was getting ready to announce his engagement. There was no time for this. “You’re right,” he said, and fuck, his voice had nearly broken. The hand that Dex had shaken off was clenched into a loose fist around empty air. Sebastian shut his eyes, took a deep breath, cleared his throat. He only needed a second to regain his composure. “You’re right,” he said again, but he was still unable to look back at Dex. “I can’t.”

   His posture was ramrod straight and filled with tension as he made himself take a few wooden steps backwards. He gestured to the new space he’d created between them. “Enjoy the rest of the party, and… I guess whatever it is you have planned here. I’ll look forward to the show.” Then, feeling like his whole body has been filled in with cement, he turned to leave.

[barnettseb-blog]

@oxtsider​

   It was late in the evening when Sebastian finally stopped by Margaret’s room, not because he’d been avoiding this—though he had been—but because he thought it might make the conversation easier when the sun wasn’t outside shining brightly. He stopped outside her door, checking himself over and pulling the sleeves on his shirt down to hide his wrists. There was only a slight discoloration there now where the ropes had been, his healing factor had quickly taken care of the bruises on his temple, there was practically no physical evidence at all now of what he’d been through. But Margaret would likely know by now what had happened. If she hadn’t been informed, then he was probably to be the one to inform her, there was no use keeping her in the dark about this, especially since it painted a target on her back as well.

   They were in this together now, whether they liked it or not.

   He knocked on the door, three quick raps of his knuckles before he took a half-step back away from the door. The more distance he put between them, the more he hoped she wouldn’t notice his nervousness. Sebastian had never been formally introduced to Margaret, the party had meant to be their debut, and he remembered thinking before that he would have felt so much more comfortable just meeting with her in private first. Now that he was getting what he’d wanted, he wished someone was there with him, Ophelia maybe, though she’d most likely be just as anxious as he was.

   As the door opened, all the previous thoughts in Sebastian’s mind were wiped clean and replaced by the persona he usually put on in situations like these. “Margaret,” he said calmly, offering an apologetic smile. He lifted a small vase filled with purple hyacinth flowers so that she could see them. “The woman at the flower shop I went to told me these were meant for apologies, and I think I might owe you one.”