Ska music isn't even that bad, yall are just mean

I've played bass clarinet for six slutty slutty years

[bassclarinetlyfe]

"Heehee" I laugh to myself, "college practice"

*downs a shot of Mucianex like a shot of hard whiskey to help my cold*

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

“If she wants a horse: instant divorce”

— @bassclarinetlyfe

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

bass clarinet: congrats! you just vibed to ska, you fucking bitch!

other bass clarinet: NO! I WAS JUST WORMING

[bassclarinetlyfe]

Tag me you whore

[bassclarinetlyfe]

Trumpet player: If you were any type of food, what would you be and why?

Me: I would be a Belgian waffle because I just feel like if they were sentient they would just be super chill.

My BD, who is a very professional southern lady who likes to keep to herself: *spins around on her heel and continues to walk backwards* If I was a food I would be a sweet and salty granola bar.

[bassclarinetlyfe]

Yall I want you to see me and me section just vibing. God I love them.

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

Bass Clarinet: ah yes, Mcdonald's sprite

Bass Clarinet: *takes a sip*

Bass clarinet: it really goes right to the balls

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"why am i touching so many children??"

-Visual staff

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"PLEASE someone join my ska band"

-bass clarinet

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"YOU'RE GONNA WORM BLIND?!"

-Bass clarinet

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"Your feet are just a hair behind."

-one of our visual staff, directly in my right ear during a run through

[autumncorsair]

Frick

[bassclarinetlyfe]

Bass clarinet 1: I'm the loudest player in the section.

Bass clarinet 2: No you're not.

Bass clarinet 1: ... VIBE CHECK

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"oh hey! my teeth arent numb anymore!"

-bass clarinet

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"I'm going to step on you. And when I do, I am going to crush you like a fragile chip."

-Sousaphone

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

"YES! Bass clarinets, yay!"

-GE judge at our comp today

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

bass clarinet: jm how do u feel about that second place?

visual staff: i dunno, i'll have to listen to the tapes

bass clarinet: i am going to TRACK YOU DOWN to get a straight answer

visual staff: please dont

[bass-clarinets-arent-real]

bass clarinet: hey jm, did you know jm stands for Jood Morning

jm, our visual staff: ...yes i did.