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How to Deal with Hurt and Pain
1. Try and put into words exactly how youâre feeling. Is it the pain of rejection? Is it an overwhelming feeling of shame and self-loathing? Is it a sense of disbelief that youâve been treated so cruelly by others? Is it a sense of utter desperation?
2. Try and find a way of expressing the pain. Sometimes we can tell the person who has hurt usâ but often we feel that they wonât be responsive. If thatâs the case, find someone you can open up to. Itâs really important that you have the chance to honestly express what youâre going through. If you feel thereâs no-one you can talk to right now, then perhaps try journaling, or some kind of art.
3. Admit that you canât go back and change the past. You need to let it go and build a different future. You are not defined by what happened to you, and you have what it takes to live a rich, rewarding life.
4. Related to this, forgive yourself and donât hold on to regret. Decide to learn what you can â and then turn, and move ahead. Donât be a victim of your past, or other people.
5. Reconnect with the person that you were previously. Think of who you might have been if this âthingâ had never happened. You can still be that person: they are still a part of you.
6. Focus on the things that bring you joy and happiness; focus on those people who will always want and love you.
Some Ways to Improve your Self-Confidence
1. Donât compare yourself to others. You are totally unique, and have different talents, abilities and strengths.
2. Never criticise or put yourself down. There are plenty of others who will do that for you. You need to be your biggest, and you greatest, fan. Be understanding, gentle and kind to yourself.
3. Consciously accept every compliment you get and see them as accurate and genuinely meant. Donât brush them off as stupid, wrong, or meaningless.
4. Keep affirming yourself until it changes how you feel. It may feel false at first when you say something like âI accept myself completelyâ and believe Iâm valuableâ. But as you constantly repeat it youâll find that, over time, you do accept and value the person that you are.
5. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. If you hang out with people who always put you down, and never seem to like or approve of your ideas, then youâll soon stop believing in yourself as well (and it will also crush your creativity).
6. Make a list of your successes and accomplishments â like playing an instrument, learning how to cook, passing an exam, graduating from high school, or getting into college, or receiving an award. Review this list often â and be proud of yourself!
7. Make a list of your positive qualities and traits. Are you an honest, reliable and caring friend? Do you make time for others? Do you try to do your best? Again, review this list often, and get into the habit of focusing on your positive qualities and traits.
8. Spend your time doing things that you are good at, and enjoy. We become more alive when weâre doing things we love - and that naturally increases our self-confidence (as weâre being our true selves and not just acting out a role).
9. Get involved. If you sit on the sidelines and avoid all challenges then you wonât be able to achieve much in life. But if you push through the feelings of anxiety and fear, then youâll grow, be successful, and have higher self esteem.
10. Be true to yourself; live a life thatâs really âyouâ. Donât let other people decide what you should do, or what is best for you, or who they think that you should be. You only have one life â choose your own path â just be you!
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