i'm showing up. are you?

[bboymalone212]

welcome. waves

OC and similar related rant blog for @thetwistedwhiskersshow

just the biggest balthazar fan. not actually mr. bboymalone212

toyhouse + PAJ wiki guide + playlist masterlist

all formatting for this post was stolen from my buddy ford's oc blog check it out.

PRIMARY STORIES:

P.A.J./PlayAnimalJam - wiki, toyhouse, blog

i'd say this one probably doesn't need any heavy content warnings because it's all absurd weird comedy but there's stalking. serial murder. body horror. 4tran shit. etc

oh shit you can indent things in a post. PAJ is really difficult to explain because it's not meant to make any sense but the gist is that it's about two main characters, working in animal jam headquarters at the beginning of 2018: HAROLD COFF, an animal jam artist who makes a few bad choices and suffers the consequences...and ERIC GUN AJHQ, the social media manager who runs the "official" AJHQ tumblr blog, NotTheRealAJHQ (formerly called PlayAnimalJam).

this story has ultimately the highest amount of characters and the most weird shit going on. it's also my favorite admittedly. logo by maggotmush!

TINY & JACK - toyhouse

serial murder, transphobia, homophobia, child SA, stalking, police brutality

the year is 2009. theodore "tiny" head is a transgender male boxer and serial killer named the los angeles butcher who targets closeted gay men. lieutenant jaclyn "jack" harvester is a homicide detective for the LAPD. michelangelo "michel" winthrop is a wealthy shut-in nepo baby who wants to take down the LA butcher with his own hands. all three of them collide like a big explosion.

this story has the most written works by far; you can find them all on my toyhouse! art by volcanicflowers!

F.B.S.P./FILMBRO STARTERPACK - toyhouse

serial murder, political assassination, child abuse & neglect, teen pregnancy, mass shootings, execution, stalking, and lots of suicide.

the year is 2013 (though many story beats happen before). god, who is all-powerful but chooses not to influence humanity, does not want humans to discover its own existence. in response, it finds a select few suicidal, highly religious women and offers them a deal—reincarnation as men, if they promise eternal devotion to the lord. henry lee pierre, one such reborn man, isn't too keen on following god's orders.

not to be biased, but this one is really fun. art by me.

SECONDARY STORIES:

THE CALLINGS - toyhouse general internet bad things. kiwifarms shit, 4chan/soyjakparty rhetoric, you get the idea

a place where all my furry designs go; the callings is a story about the inter-connected lives of young twentysomethings on the internet. from SHON, a poor nihilist trying to make a living on tiktok, to CHAU, an aspiring playwright entering a relationship with her high school bully, to OWEN, a trans woman with a secret online life as a cis transphobic e-stalker. all of them are friends, and none of them are very good people.

[bboymalone212]

does this count as pride month art??? definitely not, right? a very happy gender dysphoria to you, mr. gun.

[bboymalone212]

the true Reason why tiny was born in october when jack was born in march is that tiny couldn't exist in a world without her even if only for the span of a few months. even from states apart their souls are tethered to each other in my mind. that's why they're the same age in the first place

[thetwistedwhiskersshow]

t4t4t. redraw of this horrific beast from 2021

my bugs

[bboymalone212]

tinyjack role swap au hypothetically,

jack - ms. jaclyn harvester. she's an art history teacher for high schoolers, the occasional caregiver of her mother, and a serial killer.

tiny - lt. theodore head. police lieutenant, detective. meets ms. harvester on a blind date set up by a mutual friend of a mutual friend. immediately suspicious of her & correct to be.

jaclyn, in this universe, almost immediately tells her mother about her dad's abuse. her mother takes jaclyn to the police, mr. harvester is arrested, and mrs. harvester flees with her daughter to california to get away from the family of her imprisoned rapist ex-husband. young jackie grows up in california and never gains that strong sense of justice, but rather an even stronger feeling of apathy. her mother is almost smothering and lacks boundaries with her, and at times jackie is forced to Parent her own mother, who spirals into alcoholism in jackie's tween years. her mother has a "all men are evil, we only have each other, as women we have to have each other" view of the world and it consumes jackie; she believes all men are sexually violent and lacks all sympathy for them. in adulthood, she gets her degree in art history and her teaching license and begins working in a high school, which she hopes will be the first steps before becoming an art history professor. in that time, she starts having bad hookups with men she meets online. when one goes sour, she accidentally kills him...& you get the idea. it becomes thrilling for her.

jaclyn does Not keep the men alive for long like tiny does. she likes torture that leads straight to death. it's more convenient for her that way, since she has no crawlspace and does all her work in her apartment bathroom.

i think she'd still have real world jack's weird and bad ideas of sex and sexuality, but toned down a bit. ALSO, she would seek a professional diagnosis for PMOS and would strongly identify with it, unlike the true jack.

tiny, in this universe, has a near identical childhood with one small difference. tiny is caught stealing money from one of his boyfriends as a tween and is beaten for it, pretty brutally, near death levels. it changes him permanently. he becomes terrified of being weak and terrified of his own body; he starts to spiral at the fact what happened to him will forever go unpunished. his grandfather, who is worried sick for him and doesn't want him to ever get hurt again, tries to ease him into the idea that the only way to punish these men fairly, and enact true justice, is through following the law. tiny begins to let Law Based Delusion outweigh his desire to please god. in college, he tries to study pre-law or political science but he hates it, and in that time decides he's better off going to where the real money and real justice is: straight to los angeles. he first works odd jobs so he can start his transition, meaning he joins the academy a bit later than jack does and, as such, is a much less experienced/basically brand new detective when he meets jaclyn. as Lt. Head, he is genuinely quite charismatic and fun to be around. classic goofy short fat cop stereotype. he's not Stupid though, and when a friend tells tiny his wife has a coworker who he may get along with, and sets them up on a date, he is instantly distrusting of jaclyn and knows something is seriously fucking wrong with her...but he has no idea what.

cop tiny is just as closed-off about being a trans man But. i think jaclyn would invite him over to her home, try to trap him, and give him a big speech about how men suck and how she's gonna rip his dick off and tiny, who has not yet gotten phalloplasty because He Can't Take That Time Off Work (1) and No Gregor In This Universe (2), is like well, i guess this is the only option i have presented in front of me. and he outs himself. and jaclyn stops. and is like WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? :)

jaclyn is not outright woke. she doesn't understand trans stuff. but she sees ted as essentially the only man that can be trusted to not be violent and cruel (which ftr ted is just as violent as jack is realworld. lol. the only difference is he only attacks/gets gratuitously violent to adult men. which, for jaclyn, isn't realllyyyy that bad anyway).

i don't think ted would be a full-blown accomplice because ultimately he'd be too scared to, and he hates violence in most cases so he wouldn't ever get physically involved. i think their relationship would be much less animalistic and brutal than tinyjack. jaclyn would be kind and soft. and they'd rarely if ever have sex. it's more of a weird spiritual connection than an actual romance.

[tinyheads]

caged animals

[bboymalone212]

jacke has received so many favorites in a week ??? like more than usual???? in general if a character of mine exceeds 3 favorites in a week i start feeling insane. do people just really like him now

[gaymattsharp]

and slightly older art trade alsooo for @thetwistedwhiskersshow

[gaymattsharp]

comm for @thetwistedwhiskersshow :D

[nottherealajhq]

Visit Original Link

In '21, therealajhq reformed as this; nottherealajhq, their most accomplished account. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "i hope i'm not in plastic right now". A post so funny, most people probably don't pay attention to the message.

But they should!

Because it's not just about the repercussions of isolation and the psychological state brought upon by denial, it's also a personal statement about the blog itself!

[nottherealajhq]

[nottherealajhq]

Eric.

Eric. Get up.

There we are. Good job. Do us a favor and look in the dark, yeah? Right there. In the dark.

That's it. Don't stop looking. It's okay. Don't be scared. Just keep on looking in the dark, Eric.

It's us, Eric. Ween. From Ween. No need to be afraid.

Eric, listen to us. Us, as in Ween. From Ween. Do you ever sit back and think about how far they have butchered the legacy of Spongebob due to the lack of quality within its modern era? Not only have they seemingly run out of ideas, regurgitating episodes filled with generic tropes and low-brow humor, but the original charm of its respective characters has flown far out the window as each one only resembles a shallow imitation of their former selves. Take Patrick, for example. Once upon a time, his "stupidity" reflected that of a blissful innocence instead of the grotesque state of ignorance that Modern Patrick, or more appropriately, PatPRICK has begun to show. Unlike the moments of Wisdom Patrick once formerly showed, PatPRICK is an idiotic echo-chamber, bringing down all his friends with his insolent behavior, all the while the audience can only sit in aggravation. This is not even to mention the treatment of Squidward, whose cynical comedy has been nearly removed to make way for nonstop torture porn of the poor character, being beaten down in every possible situation imaginable in a way that these sickos think is "FUNNY", but trust me I mean us, (Ween,) Eric, it's NOT funny. The first three seasons and 2004 movie are the only episodes worth your time, and truly encompass nothing but the "Golden Era" of Spongebob Squarepants.

It seems like you don't understand, Eric. It's okay. As an avid user I mean users of the Scumbob Wiki, we, Ween, can explain to yERIC.

Ween, from Ween,

WOULDN'T

F̸̬̀̈́̈U̴̗͌́̚C̴̬̈̋̕K̷̠̈́͛̏I̵̬̖̍͠N̶̡̎̕G̸̨̭̪̊̔

SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nottherealajhq]

ajhq are you transgener.....

Well, ACTUALLY, Jammer, that's NONE of your business...

...But I can assure you, I'm CERTAINLY not cis. :)

PronounAnimalJam (2018) dir. Cock Stacey

[nottherealajhq]

This is why I love my job, Jammers! I don't HAVE to worry about any weird shit going on. I just get to hang out and watch videos of shirtless men cooking lobsters, my favorite activity-

(EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Jammers. What the fuck was that.

[nottherealajhq]

[GARBAGE DISPOSAL COUGH SFX]

[nottherealajhq]

I just couldn't help but notice you in line for Slurpees (which you are blatantly breaking 7-11 policy by purchasing them in Big Gulp cups as opposed to the regular Slurpee cups, mind you,) coming to visit your teenaged son. You see my son over there? Yes. Him. Over there. Yes, him. I came to visit him, too! I'm also visiting my son. Like you are. Yes, my son. I see you're also visiting your son. That's just wonderful! Fathers get a bad reputation around here. It's so nice to see you're making your teenage son feel seen. Teenagers, am I right? Yes, they're a handful. By the way, are those cigarettes for you or someone else? You don't look like a smoker. I sure hope they're not for your son! Gotta curb those bad habits before they start having ideas of "running away" and "making their own startup companies" hahahahahahahaha But either way It's just so nice to see a fellow parent supporting their youngster.

[nottherealajhq]

(OOC: Wow, father…. What inspiring words! To think that you would do all of this, just for me?! You must still care, even after all these years! You simply MUST! Ah, after my shift is over, maybe we can finally play catch in the yard, or shoot the windows of National Geographic's house, like you always said we would! I remember all the times, where you would sit me down, and tell me that man was a "sick bastard" and "not even REMOTELY sexier", which I know must be true, because you are a righteous man who would never lie to me! Such honesty is quite comparable to this similarly friendly individual who is speaking to us now! What joy!)