Because I’ve been getting a lot of asks as to why I’ve been MIA for so long…I figured I should give y’all a life update. I really fucking miss the abdl community. Like painfully so. But, life has been really fucking hard. The last year of quarantine has been a nightmare for everyone. As a result, I kinda shut down and stopped partaking in activities that brought me joy, the abdl tumblr community included. All my focus turned to just trying to be ok as a person, take care of myself, my boyfriend, and my best friend. Earlier this month, my best friend in the entire fucking world died. We were supposed to hang out on July 5th, one of my rare days off of work. Her phone was off. I panicked, but assumed and hoped she was in rehab. 3 hours later I got the worst call of my life. It feels like my whole world has been shattered. It’s been 23 days and I still don’t have the words to describe the emptiness I feel. I’ve spent the last year trying to take care of her and help her through her demons, along with trying to adjust to all the changes in the world. July 26th 2021 marked the 1 year anniversary of my latest suicide attempt. Summer has always sucked, since I was a child, and it seems like every year, the universe gives me another reason to hate it. I realize this isn’t a very cohesive explanation, and it’s more of an emotional word vomit rant. But, it’s a true and honest life update. I’m not posting this for sympathy, but I feel like this is a safe place for me to speak on what’s been going on. This is also me trying to let you guys know that I’m ok. I have countless messages from over the past few months from my followers. Mostly people concerned about me and wondering if I’m ok. Some are pretty nasty. To those of you who have expressed genuine concern, thank you so much. To the nasty people sending me messages on anon, go outside and touch some grass. Thursday the 29th is my birthday, and thankfully my work gave me the day off, as well as Friday. I hope to be sharing some pictures with you all very soon. Instead of isolating further, I’m going against every fiber of my being and trying things that make me happy. Depression, grief, loss, and darkness really suck. I can’t express how much joy, safety, and acceptance the abdl community has shown me in the past and I honestly can’t wait to come back 💜
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