☠ THE BAD GUY.

“Oh never-mind, forget it –– you’re right Damon, you’re the most simple vampire I’ve ever met in my life.”

“I’m so glad you noticed, Elena.”

#&ANSWER;;#just so you know #my damon doesn't follow canon #so he's not dating elena #betterleftunburied

"How about I just kill your girlfriend? maybe then you'll finally shut up."

“Damn, not my invisible girlfriend. I thought no one could see her.”

"Does beating you with a baseball bat help your hearing?"

& POKE THE HOMICIDAL SALVATORE

“It does when I get to shove it right up your ass afterward. Although, on second thought, you might like that too much.”

#&ANSWER;;#betterleftunburied

"Shall I compel you again? this time you actually might not screw up royally this time."

& POKE THE HOMICIDAL SALVATORE

“Can you speak a little louder? I can’t hear you over how incredibly annoying you are.”

#&ANSWER;;#betterleftunburied

“ ––––––– from what I’ve seen you’re the complete opposite of simple, Damon.”

“How am I not simple? I eat, I sleep, I ravage-- repeat. Drinking is usually somewhere in the middle of that. Or all around it. Practically enveloped, really. You catch my drift.”

iputaspxllonyou

“ What do you want from me Ferris Bueller?”

#iputaspxllonyou #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )

“Your sarcasm, your wit, your winning personality-- Actually, mostly just your attention. The last thing anyone wants is for me to get bored. The last time that happened, two people ended up in the hospital and another one lost a hand. Don’t ask.”

“And you don’t find it the least bit depressing?”

“Nah. I’m a simple guy, with simple needs. Depressing isn’t in my vocabulary.”

“I thought I was torturing a vampire.” His tone was dry, blatantly unimpressed with the badly veiled threat and terrible posturing. The pain didn’t start to wane until after Damon stood, green eyes still focused intently on the vampire. “It’s blatantly embarrassing to know we’re related, honestly.” Distant or not, still embarrassing as all hell.

#genetiiccopy #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )#gdi sto

“The wrong vampire.” All it took was a slip, a beat in the pain where he reached out, snatched up his partially filled glass of scotch and chucked at the copy’s head. He seethed and slapped a twenty dollar bill on the counter when the bartender gasped in surprise, meeting her gaze enough to tell her to scram and forget about the violence.

Okay, so maybe he’s just being bitter, but it doesn’t stop the way his eyes narrow, barely having to focus to summon up the necessary power to make the aneurysm start in Damon’s brain. It’s childish but he’s frustrated and vampires only make his mood worse. It’s not particularly like he cares about getting caught, at this point. “Don’t start with me. I am older than you and you have no place in this world, being an abomination and all, and you are making a bad day worse. I can make your head explode, but I don’t want to deal with the mess. Leave, before I change my mind.”

#genetiiccopy #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )#rude

Witch-induced headaches were not a good way to enjoy his scotch. Maybe the universe was trying to ween him off day drinking. Either way, he hissed, and flying immediately to hover over his head in a vain attempt to soothe the pain that was blossoming in his temples. “Ohh, buddy, you have no idea what you’re doing.” Still, standing up and getting away from the splitting headache and boiling blood vessels was almost automatic.

enduringlystoic

“… Doubtful.” Elijah rolls his eyes, casting Damon a sideways glance before he slips his hands into his pockets. “What are you even doing here?”

#enduringlystoic #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )

“Uh, I’m on vacation. Heard this city is a great wine and dine destination, so yeah. Here I am.”

“You’re the first person that’s been able to tell the difference.” Logically, he knows he shouldn’t confront someone that gives off a distinctly vampiric aura, but he isn’t exactly scared of vampires at this point. It’s too exhausting to be scared of leeches. “Wonderful. I don’t care. Piss off.”

#genetiiccopy #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )

Maybe he should have been a little more concerned with a man that looked exactly like his brother, but alcohol content determined otherwise. The only thing he was really missing was the shadow to his left where a seat beside him was particularly empty. “I find it really interesting that you say that while I’m sitting here. At a bar. Where I’ve been this whole time. I thought you were my brother when I turned to you and now I know you’re not. Great conversation, and if you tell me to do something again, I’m going to chop parts of you into tiny little pieces and see if you think you’re delicious.” He made sure that statement was more sing-song than it needed to be.

enduringlystoic

bcddestblood

“If you could not do that, it would be wonderful.”

#enduringlystoic #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )

“I’m trying to find the fun in your statement, and you know, I’m just not finding it. Maybe you could help me out.”

goodbye .

& ONE LAST MESSAGE BEFORE I DIE

“There’s a million and one ways to die, Elena. I think after the second time, it’s not as exciting. Just do me a favor and take care of my brother for me. All that hairspray is getting to his brain.”

#&ANSWER;;#mercying

☩ @bcddestblood ☩

“Not Stefan.” It’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t have it in him to question why this doppelganger seems to have met everyone he’s run into lately. They know each other, he’s definitely not Stefan, and he’s not up to pretending to be his shadow today. “Shoo. Off you go.”

#genetiiccopy #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )#damon is like w/e

“Oh, honey. I knew that the moment you walked into the room. Hair’s not big enough.” Speaking of not big enough, the bartender had really skipped out on filling his glass. He gave the woman a sharp, irritable look, pursing his lips as he pointed down at his nearly empty tumbler. “By the way,” he added after she refilled it and walked away, “The last person who told me to ‘Shoo’ ate his own eyeballs. It was hilarious.”

iputaspxllonyou

“ Well if you won’t correct me, I’ll just have to believe I’m right.”

If he wants to openly admit it though, she’ll be happy to amend her statement.

“ I only intend to do it seriously at least once. So if you’re done defending your ego, I still have to study.”

#iputaspxllonyou #& UNDETERMINED ( verse )

“Aaand, we’re back to this whole studying business. You know what? Great talk. You know what else is a great talk? When it has to do with anything but this.”

“The fact that it’s falsified is the downside, Damon. Though clearly that doesn’t bother you… So I’m sure there’s no point going on about it.”

“I’m really happy you came to that conclusion, Elena, because you’re absolutely right.”