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TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: That's because you haven't seen my idiot side just yet, Comaro. It'll come out one day and you'll be surprised. Not particularly? I mean, I've only been on a plane once and it was the worst experience of my life, so i can't say for definite I hate it, but it's not my favourite activity. I do think I'd enjoy it if you were in the cockpit, however.

CHANDLER: How about every other day? I have a list of restaurants I'd like to visit and a pocket full of halloween costume rental profits ready to be spent.

BEA: Well, I look forward to the day that I get to see your idiot side. I highly doubt you have a bad side at all, so the idiotic you must be entirely adorable. We'll test that theory out, someday. I've been meaning to resume my flying lessons. Not that I need them, with my power doing most of the work.

BEA: A date with you every other day sounds like heaven, to be perfectly frank.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: We'll work on that part of it. Not exactly in the way you phrase it, actually. Most people think I'm an incredibly smart nerdy idiot, so I mean, the complement is there? Just not quite on your level. I don't know, I don't like flying on planes so I don't know how well I'll handle space travel.

CHANDLER: So how about two dates? Or am I pushing my luck right now?

BEA: I agree that you're smart and quite a bit nerdy, but I'd never consider you to be an idiot by any means. Perhaps that's because I've worked with far too many idiot savants. You don't like flying? I love flying. Would you be more or less comfortable in an aircraft under my control?

BEA: Two dates is hardly pushing it. You can have as many as you'd like.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ BEALAN

DYLAN: Well, that would certainly be cool. I don't think that would account for my oven being turned on, though.

BEA: Hmmm, no, that would have to go back to the technology manipulation and I highly doubt there's some hybrid of the two. Though, that would certainly be an interesting power duo.

#t: dylan #t: all #dylan

TEXT ✉️ BEALAN

DYLAN: Nope, completely wooden doors and things like pencils and chairs being thrown.

BEA: Hmmm. Perhaps some sort of elemental manipulation? I have heard that advanced agrokinesis users can manipulate wood and such.

#t: dylan #t: all #dylan

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: I'm not one to lie about these things, Bea. So you need to accept that my flattery is sincerity. You, on the other hand, do wonders for my ego to placate me and I'm grateful for it. Maybe I'll have to ask Cass and Jeff to take me to the moon and have a look at their technology.

CHANDLER: Meant to spend time together, clearly.

BEA: Fine, fine. I accept it, although that doesn't necessarily mean I agree with it. Do I? I'm only speaking the truth, so I'm certain you've heard my compliments from numerous others before me. Space travel sounds exciting, I hope that works out for you.

BEA: I agree wholeheartedly with this sentiment.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: Not at all, even without the technology you'd still be the most interesting person I know. And I'm not just saying that. You're fascinating and very interesting to converse with. I mean, I'd happily sit and talk to you for hours about Tibet. Are you saying I'm not the most intelligent being in the universe? Because you may break my heart if that's the case.

CHANDLER: Then it's a day long date full of food and science. Aka, my life.

BEA: Darling, you flatter me so. I assure you the feeling is mutual. You are certainly the most intelligent being in the universe, but you're sorely limited by the technology on this planet. Now that extraterrestrial beings have been confirmed, I think looking elsewhere would expand your horizons and get you closer to your goal of being even more super than your super brain already makes you. That's all I meant.

BEA: What a coincidence, food and science are also my life. We have so much in common.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ OPEN

DYLAN: What super power can result in appliances switching on and off, doors slamming, and the occasional thing being thrown across the room? I am very alarmed.

BEA: I'd say that sounds a fair bit like technology manipulation, depending on what the slamming doors are made of and what sorts of objects are being thrown. I've (very much accidentally) thrown my fair share of controllers.

#t: dylan #t: all #dylan

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: You're the most interesting person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Please don't insult yourself. I still play with it every now and then but I'm only one guy. And technology can't even properly extract and sequence entire human genomes let alone alien genomes. So it's a long shot. But one day, maybe.

CHANDLER: Not a chance. Lunch and dessert is on me. And dinner should the date extend on.

BEA: It was all the military's doing, I assure you, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless. If it means I can capture your attention for a bit longer, I have no complaints. Technology invented on this planet cannot, at least. I'm sure there are races far more advanced than ours.

BEA: Well, you'll certainly never hear me object to free food.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: I thought about it. But I've been working with his sister's DNA for a while and the alien DNA is very disruptive and unresponsive to my methodology. The only other DNA I have on ice is Oliver Puckerman's. Which, eh, not really excited about anything to do with that asshole.

CHANDLER: That was like music to my ears. I'd love to!

BEA: Hmmm. I'd offer you some of my DNA, but I'm afraid I'm largely uninteresting. I didn't realize I had a power at all until I was well into adolescence. Perhaps if you were to learn some sort of extraterrestrial methods it would work a bit better? I'm not sure. I'm sorry I can't offer more insight.

BEA: Excellent. I'm excited. I'll buy you lunch after. Perhaps dessert too, if I'm feeling indulgent.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ BEADLER

CHANDLER: I did think that, but my DNA was contaminated with Seth's cats' hair which means I have no sample to work with.

CHANDLER: The date sounds far more promising, though. Where would you like to go? When? Are you sure you mean me?

BEA: Hmmm. Perhaps you could work with the DNA of the person who's powers you borrowed? The supposed extraterrestrial being?

BEA: Hmmm. Would you like to accompany me to the Arizona Science Center? I love museums, but I haven't had a chance to visit yet.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ OPEN

CHANDLER: I miss complaining about having my face smushed against the ceiling.

CHANDLER: Tell me something to cheer me up.

BEA: Now that you've removed yourself from the ceiling, you're free to get back to work! Certainly that's cheerful enough on it's own.

BEA: But if it's not, an alternative silver lining is that you could, hypothetically, go on another date with me.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ SEBEA

SETH: Considering that he's my pride and joy, I plan on keeping him safe for as long as he'll let me, thank you very much. I honestly didn't know Tibet was that awesome and now I know where I'm going for my birthday next year. Feel free to tag along if I haven't pissed you off between now and then. I'm not gonna rob it, I work there. I can get your free stuff if you really want it.

SETH: Well what behavior was it? Because there is a high chance that I wasn't being sarcastic, but there's still a chance that I might've been. I never know with me sometimes tbqh.

BEA: Considering that I'm his contracted body guard, it appears that you and I have a common mission. It depends on what you look for in a vacation, but if you're looking for a cultural and spiritual trip, I highly recommend Tibet. Though, the current complications require that you have a permit, so be sure that you plan your trip to the t. I'm not sure I'd ever pass up a trip for Tibet, and I speak the language, so having me tag along would really be mutually beneficial. Oh, well...like I said, I'll never turn down free supplies. I really like pens. And nice notebooks.

BEA: Just me being me, but I appreciate sarcasm when utilized properly and effectively so I'm not offended if it was.

#t: seth #t: all #seth

TEXT MESSAGES → BEADLER

CHANDLER: This is where I could have a woe is me, why wasn't my dad a villain instead of a hero sidekick soliloquy. But, I won't. Honestly, I enjoy being able to say that I earned what I've got through my own means, so I agree there. But when I'm eating Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner? That's when I question why I haven't tried to crack the algorithm for the lottery. We talk semi-often, so it's not like he isn't in my life. Besides, I have my darling sister here with me and snow around, so it's practically Minnesota here right now. Because you, Bea Comaro, are the sweetest person in the universe.

CHANDLER: Hold up. They sell wine and dessert?

CHANDLER: Probably. Damn him being smart, handsome, rich and cool. So unfair. Look at you, back at it again with the complement shower.

BEA: Well, if you ever want a break from the Ramen, come over and I'll cook you something. I'm a decent enough cook, and I keep my kitchen fully stocked. Eating nothing but Ramen is thrifty, but terrible for your digestive track. Yes, the snow has been a strange change. Those poor, confused meteorologists. Me, the sweetest in the universe? Nearly impossible. I'm tempted to do a survey just to prove you wrong, but instead I'll take the compliment.

BEA: Of course. What do you think the Beyond stands for? They carry this red velvet cupcake wine, it's truly good enough to die for. BB&B is also where I purchased my fondue pot and melting chocolate, so I would say that counts as a dessert.

BEA: The only one of those you don't have is the rich aspect, and who's to say what your future achievements will bring? What can I say? You're easy to compliment.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT MESSAGES → BEADLER

CHANDLER: It's rough, right? I look at all these people jetting off to Europe like it's no big deal and I'm sat here wanting to go to Minnesota just to annoy the crap out of my dad for a little while. What a strange world we live in, huh? I wouldn't want to intrude, it's a family occasion after all. Don't tempt fate, Bea! Now I'll be jinxed into every single cat hating my guts from now on.

CHANDLER: Catnip for Knight, wine/dessert/candles for Bea - duly noted.

CHANDLER: Oh god, please look through it and report back to me? I'd kill to know something embarrassing just to make him less obnoxiously handsome and rich and perfect. Because it kind of makes me feel like one of those blow up waving arm things outside of car dealerships on a daily basis.

BEA: Those students are all rich villains who's parents pamper them with stollen funds, so it's to be expected. I take pride in working hard and honestly for my money, even if that occasionally means I can't travel as much as I'd like. I'm sorry you won't be able to visit your father, though. I hope you can have a nice skype conversation, at least. I strongly believe that we create our own fate, so I still stand by my previous point. I don't see how any creature, human or animal, could hate your guts.

BEA: You know the best place to buy wine, dessert and candles? Bed, Bath and Beyond.

BEA: I'll see what I can find, though something tells me he's smart enough to use an incognito browser for anything too embarrassing. However, I would like to point out that you yourself are both handsome and perfect, so there's hardly anything to be jealous of.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT MESSAGES → BEADLER

CHANDLER: I don't know. I know that sounds like an asshole response, but it's more the expense? Like, if I can't fly back, I can't go back. And the holidays isn't a hugely joyful event in the Hayward household anyway, so it's no big deal. I bet a Comaro clan holiday season is quite the event, however. Well, hopefully with enough self experimentation I'll be able to awaken them in myself. I'd be honoured if you'd join me in my journey to becoming a parent. I'd need another opinion to stop me getting a cat that's going to hate my guts forever.

CHANDLER: I'll have to stop by with some more toys for her. I'm kind of jealous she's already yours otherwise I would have snapped her up in a heartbeat.

CHANDLER: The best impression, apparently. He's not so bad, promise. I mean, he's given me a room rent free and he's partial to cuddling. I don't think that's very villainous at all.

BEA: That's not the asshole response at all, and I assure you I understand. I was stationed in Japan for a few years, and during that time it was nearly impossible to fund the ticket back home. Plane tickets are far too expensive. You can imagine how lively our household is, at least. If you'd like to join us for the holidays you can. I'm sure we'll all be driving down, and my parents would hardly notice another head at the table. Of course. Though, I highly doubt any cat could hate you for longer than 48 hours. You are, for all intents and purposes, a human cat, after all.

BEA: There's no need to be jealous, you know you can stop by to play with her any time. With or without toys. Knight is a cheap date.

BEA: He doesn't seem too bad, though I've yet to peruse his internet history. He's very generous, at least, and cuddles are always a plus.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

TEXT ✉️ SEBEA

SETH: I don't know the space rules or anything, but it could be a possiblity. Yup. Baby boy is like a human balloon, it's kind of amusing. You've been to Tibet? That is pretty cool. If you want free office supplies, I could be of assistance.

SETH: Seriously? I've never called you adorable before? How rude of me and also you're welcome.

BEA: Just make sure the human balloon doesn't pop before this power incident is remedied. I've been a lot of places, but Tibet is by far my favorite, due to the cultural relevance. I'm not sure I could ever turn down free office supplies, but please don't rob a Staples on my behalf.

BEA: I've searched my hard drive and there was one incident in which you called one of my unsavory behaviors adorable, but I like to think you were being sarcastic.

#t: seth #t: all #seth

TEXT MESSAGES → BEADLER

CHANDLER: He sure did. It was a great time. He's doing well, I think? I mean, he wasn't doing much in the brief chance I envisioned him so I can't comment too much. But it was nice to see him, I'll have to admit. Feels like I haven't been back to Minnesota in way too long. I mean, I think I'd pick something relatively minor in the terms of not being able to entirely ruin the world but also incredibly useful? If being able to control DNA exists, I'd like that one. Or at least something to aid in my research. Or maybe the ability to produce money. Or even summoning a good old fashioned grilled cheese a la The Sims 4. You know, speaking of adoption, before all of this went down I was 90% sure I'd be getting a cat this week. But I can hardly be a decent father when I'm stuck in my room floating around like an idiot.

CHANDLER: Further speaking of cats, how is Knight?

CHANDLER: Not at all. My roommate is kind of your number one fan. Except he's really number two. Because we all know I'm in the pole position.

BEA: Are you going to be returning for the holidays? I miss my parents as well, so I'm certain that my siblings and I will be going back to Philly at the next possible chance. DNA replication and modification powers do exist! I've yet to meet someone with them, but I've read a lot about them. I'm sure you could do all of those in one with good, old fashioned reality warping, though. It's probably best to wait until you're off the ceiling, but I'm very excited that you're going to be getting a companion. If you happen to feel the urge to adopt one while you're still on the ceiling, I'd be more than happy to look after your child while you're out of commission. I'm a fairly skilled cat mother.

BEA: Knight is as darling as ever. Sadly I can't speak to animals, but I'm fairly certain she misses you.

BEA: Is he really? That is so funny. I didn't realize I made such a good impression. In fact, I was fairly certain I come off as a fool in our conversations. He scares me a bit, to be honest. But most villains scare me a bit. He's very nice for a villain.

#t: chandler #t: all #chandler

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