A Nativity in Limerick
FOR THREE NARRATORS READING ALTERNATE VERSES.
Joseph, a joiner by trade,
Was just thinking "I've got it made"
His parents had picked
A young girl who ticked
All the boxes for a wife of top grade.
.
Mary, Joe's potential bride
Was feisty but quite terrified
If she's not believed
And Joe thinks he's deceived
He'll be angry and put her aside.
.
Gabriel, messenger man,
Was trying as only he can,
But Joseph & Mary
Both found quite scary
His visits to tell them the plan.
.
Joseph was grinding his teeth
When Gabriel hijacked his sleep
"I know it looks bad,
But the big man's the dad!
Take your time, it's a big mental leap."
.
Mary agreed without panic,
Once Gabe had explained the mechanics,
To become a young mum
To God's only Son
Tho' the task seemed to her quite titanic.
.
Now Gabriel wants you to know
At this natural pause in the show,
That it makes his toes curl
To be played by a girl
With sparkly wings and halo.
.
Up north, Joseph took lots of flack
His accent came under attack
When he opened his mouth
They knew, "he's from the south"
And new rules said he had to go back
.
So Mary perched on the donkey
To Bethlehem from Galilee
Now pregnancy's tough
And this journey was rough
Stopping every 5 minutes to wee
.
Gabriel wasn't a fool
And could travel without needing a mule
He had Angels to hire,
He'd be needing a choir
Before his work was done this first Yule.
.
Joseph was taken aback
No room in the family shack
And though he was stung
He cleaned out the dung,
Tried to get the trip back on track
.
Mary put on a brave face
Despite the grim look of the place
Though it seemed a bit off
To be offered a trough
For the Saviour of the human race.
.
Gabriel waved his baton
Conducted the heavenly throng
The shepherds were shocked
By the men in white frocks
Inviting them to sing along
.
When disturbed by a herd of sheep farmers
Dressed in tea towels and pyjamas
Joe didn't get vicious
But despite their best wishes
They didn't leave him feeling calmer
.
But Mary remembered this time
Of hardship and blessing and grime
And if Luke tells the truth
This magnificent youth
Also had a way with a rhyme
.
One more engagement Gabe kept
With foreign wise men as they slept
They heard Herod's ploy
To murder the boy
And so out of his clutches they crept
.
THESE FINAL VERSES THE THREE WILL RECITE ALTERNATING LINES. THE FIRST OF THEM IS STUMBLES TO A CONFUSED ENDING, WITH NARRATORS QUESTIONING EACH OTHER. NEIL IS THE VICAR.
.
And so gathered throng of St James,
Lift up your voices in praise
Love drives out fear
Now the Saviour is here
So please do whatever Neil says <OTHERS LOOK AGHAST>
We just needed a rhyming phrase
What about "crime never pays"?
Or "serve the Lord in all your ways"?... <GENERAL MUTTERING, THEN...>
.
And so St James, sing with one voice
And live as if you've made a choice
To believe and to trust
That God is with us
Christmas is time to rejoice! <LAST LINE ALL TOGETHER>
.
(c) Matt Rotheram 2014
First performed at St James in the City, Liverpool on 21st December 2014.