You don’t stan namjoon anymore?
hi sorry I’m checked this blog for the first time in 100 years out of curiousity and I TOLD MYSELF I wouldn’t post here anymore but I gotta answer this !!!!
I LOVE namjoon. I love him so much it’s kinda pathetic lmaoo. But I’ve realized that my mental health wasn’t improving because he was my crutch and I used my love for him as an escape. I have a very addictive personality and he became an addiction. I realized that while I loved him I needed to distance myself so I could become a whole person. I’m still working on that — it’s gonna take a WHILE we got some shit to work on — and so while I love love LOVE this dude like crazy I had to stop being an active fan and focus on myself. Kinda like an alcoholic, while some people can be fans in moderation, I’m a fan in an unhealthy way; I use it to escape my problems and live in a fantasy world and not address my mental illness.
All that said he has an incredibly special place in my heart and while I managed to turn a good thing (stanning someone as wonderful as joonie) into a bad thing (obsessed) he also was the inspiration for my getting better. When I first discovered his music and became a fan his words and work inspired me to overcome my eating disorder. I got better because of him, but then I stopped getting better and started using him as a crutch. I want ALL the happiness in the world for him, ALL the success and beauty and wonder the world can give him because he deserves it. If someone asks, the answer is YES I love him and yes I’m a fan of him. But I can’t actively follow him anymore because I need to focus on myself.
I hope that answered it well. Sorry to ramble, I wanted to clarify that my love is grade A authentic obsessed dumb bitch and always will be... I just gotta do this because I deserve to learn how to live a whole life. Have a good day love and everyone reading this