I saw a picture of you today, it’s the first time I didn’t feel my heart sink in my chest, the first time I didn’t have to choke back horrible feeling. The first time I took the time to see the happiness on your face. It was the first time I was happy too. The first time it felt like a weight lifted off myself. The first time that instead of focusing on the hurt we caused each, I focused on the life’s we lead now. You always wanted to be on the move even when you were “home” for you home is a person it not a place. I was no longer your home long before I was no longer your person. I realize now that you ask about me not because of any other reason then to see that I’m doing well. I didn’t ask questions about you because I didn’t want to know you were doing well. I have up myself for you but you were ready, or maybe you weren’t willing. I’ll marry you if blank happens, I’ll stay blank happens. While I’m glad you married me I’m also glad you didn’t stay. Our baby’s could have been friends, our kids could have grown up “together”. We’d have shared pictures and stories and maybe I could have understood a few better. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad you were gone and by gone I mean no longer with me. I think it bothers me you’re no longer in my life and I think about sending you messages all the time. I don’t though, I don’t because I know it’s worse to let you in than it is to miss you.
