This & that | bryaminear

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@because-i-am-here
This & that | bryaminear
Okay, I just!!!!!! I love you all, and it’s both amazing and awful that so many people can relate to this. I don’t want you all to be hurting. Recovery is scary, you put lots of effort into feeling *not depressed* and then when you reach that goal it’s like ?????? There’s this TED talk by Seligman who is all about Postive Psychology - which is kinda the study of being happy as opposed to not being sad)
So this reblog is in essence a resource dump If you feel shit, super shit, right absolutely now: A list of global suicide helplines > if your friends aren’t in the right place themselves to help you, or if you just don’t want to, these people, they will talk, they will listen, they will not judge you. These people are emotionally ready and capable to listen to ANYTHING you will tell them, they are in the right place, they are prepared, you won’t burden them. Art therapy - (making big scary emotions into comics helps me process them and deal with the better!): Start2livemorecreatively Knowledge is power podcast edition: University of Oxford: Depression and Mindfulness Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: Covering a whole range of stuff Wellbeing podcasts Knowledge is power infographics edition: Depression Statistics Actually wait here’s a whole load of cool infographics Knowledge is power self help book edition: 6 books recommended by experts Books recommended by students Physical things that be cause/worsen depression: (I am gluten intolerant and going gluten free was the major breakthrough in my personal recovery) Is gluten making you depressed? Gluten free testimonial Your thyroid can fuck all kinds of shit up Vitamins that can fuck shit up and where to find them: Here’s just a strange kinda list of things people have found to help (or not) B12 can be sneaky (this is the real title I am not joking) I will never shut up about omega 3 being good Vitamin D oh god Vitamin D trust me I’ve moved to Iceland and VITAMIN D IS IMPORTANT Friend I think medication will work for me: There are about 50bazillion types that all work differently Talk to your Doctor this is the kind of Doctory thing they do Friend I do not think medication will work for me: There’s about 50bazillion types of therapy I feel you I feel you I also just read too many damn things and then got scared TOO MANY THINGS (On a related note, the history of Psychology sure is sketchy isn’t it? Oh fuck yes it is so bad You can kinda thank them for Eugenics Like I’m not joking Nazis were like ‘Oh cool that America sure does have the right idea! and then America was like ‘Oh fuck! Germany is doing Eugenics way better than us why can’t we be that good!’ and it’s kinda weird that so few people know about this???) SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED Food and exercise and things can be useful to: Foods that are yum A leaflet things about good diet and depression Food for the brain Exercise How to exercise even if you prefer staying in bed but realistically if someone says ‘just prepare this fresh and complicated meal and go for a run! That’s why you’re so bad you’re not doing these things!’ when you are so depressed you can’t get out of bed your only exercise should be slapping them in the face CBT online: MoodGym Moodjuice There seems to be a whole bunch Live life to the full! I personally just think introspection and trying to figure out stuff is really important (for me anyway) SELF CARE IS SO IMPORTANT Like I’m not even being funny, self care self care self care, Look after yourselves!!!! Erm I can’t really think of anything else right now?? There are literally an absolute fuck ton of ways/therapies/medications (and also causes and reasons(!!)) for depression so my amazing and fantastic people who are fighting this along side me, you are worth it, you are worth asking for help, you are worth being on this world, you are awesome just for surviving even though your own brain(!!!) is working against you!! Recovery is scary, and you second guess it, and you have all kinds of complicated feelings about it, but it is so so sooooo worth it. Today I walked out of a club to find the Northern Lights hovering above me, I am 1,009 miles away from home, and this time last year I couldn’t even leave my bed. Recovery is strange, and surprising, and suspicious, but oh my god it’s worth it.
When you and your boy are both sad and you just lay silently in bed
it’s easier to say “im tired” than “im so sad and lonely i feel like there’s a weight in my chest and my body is so heavy i have no energy emotionally, physically or mentally to even move from my bed”
I’m just so sad and I know it’s hormones but I’m just so lonely.
What magical properties would you associate with sea glass? (I already have my own associations, but I’m curious about what other people think)
Endurance
Adaptability
Staying true to who you are deep down
Calm in the storm
Glamour
do you ever just fucking hate yourself for not working hard enough to reach your full potential?? cuz same.
In school they teach you how to multiply 9x8 make you read Macbeth and have you memorize the first 10 amendments to the constitution. But they don’t teach you how to stop loving someone who has stopped loving you or how to deal with losing a friend to an unsaid goodbye and a relative to a cancer that ate away their brain. At home I learned from my father that alcohol can make as many problems as it solves but damn does it feel good to let my throat burn instead of my heart and to tune out the problems in my head that I just couldn’t solve. Because life isn’t 9x8 and it isn’t the way authors describe their characters in a story. It’s those nights you lay awake missing someone wishing things could be different and it’s the next day when you realize they can’t and then it’s how you pick yourself up after being down for so long. I taught myself that.
what have you learned? (via fuckyouveryveryymuch)
Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.
Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.
I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing — instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls.
Ursula K. Le Guin, “A Left-Handed Commencement Address” (Mills College, 1983)
this passage planted itself in my consciousness when i was 24, and 10 years later, it informs so much of my approach to living, thinking, creating.
(via quantumcorean)
Stress & anxiety keep me up all night. Sometimes I feel like I just can’t fucking live like this anymore. FUUUUUUCK.
No one warns you about sleepless nights, about unproductivity and the mundane, no one tells you growing up that one day you’ll find yourself bleeding your wounds out on the bedroom floor, or how bathrooms are sanctuaries; no one tells you about the fatal attraction towards the unhealthy that you adopt time and time again; no one warns you about the real dangers of the world- loneliness and pain, and all the ways you deal with them. They tell you not to smoke or drink or have sex, but they forget to teach you kindness to yourself, they forget to teach you self-love; they forget to teach you how to cope with rejection and pain, they tell you to forgive but never teach you how, they tell you to love but never the consequences of failed loves, they warn you about heartbreaks from lovers but never those from family and friends, they tell you to dream but kill it before you can climb its ladder, they read you fairy tales but lack imagination, they tell you life is hard, that the world is ugly, but you never see them making it less of all that, then you grow up not knowing what to believe or who to be, with your heart still young but wounded, and your spirit yearning but reluctant. You have a body with too many marks, eyes with too many scars, you carry hope like a sacred flower- all its petals fall each time the world disappoints you, and instead of abandoning it, you go tape it back together; and here you are, all patched up- old cotton cloth and rusty car parts; you’re barely alive, and in love with the idea of what life could live up to be, and though it never does, you never give up, and I would say that’s what makes you strong, that that’s what makes you beautiful, but all it makes you, is a dreamer. People never teach us these things growing up because they too carry flowers of their own, and they don’t want you to grow up without hope, because if you knew all this when you were too young, then you would not make it this far, and it would be a shame, because there is so much more to life than all this, and the only way to have it all, is to carry the flower of hope in your heart.
Eliot Knight (via eli0tknight)
this is too real though
The day I realized I was just one of the many girls you made feel special. You don’t really give a shit about anything except yourself. I don’t know why it took so long for me to realize tbh
Ventura, CA