Tumblr Elder

hi im laura 26, and i never learned how to fucking live

[blogname214]

[chaser]

[bitternest]

Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards

Alternatively -  come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.

[bitternest]

cowards

[northwest-cryptid]

Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can't stop us.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Fan The Flames

Just because Tumblr won't let you Blaze a post doesn't mean you can light it up yourself!

[spockvarietyhour]

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if it's the same year as it was yesterday, 2024

[dumbtrannybitch]

this post has a very specific day you CANNOT reblog it on Jan. 1st 2025

[itsupermanti]

It’s still the same year as yesterday, 2024.

[nat-20s]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[nat-20s]

"what's your dream job??" Uhh to have 17 weird little hobbies that I don't have to be good at and hang out with friends. I get money via being the world's specialist little princess

[ashenmind]

I hope every health insurance exec dies from painful and preventable disease

[ashenmind]

it seems not everyone is as patient as I

[powerfulwizard]

[gelledegg]

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

[airandangels]

Diogenes driving a mobile home into the symposium to ruin Plato’s day.

[valhalla-dancehall]

it was a stroke of genius to give James T Kirk a bitchy flip phone in the 60's, truly amazing to watch him slam it shut like a pissed off socialite girl in 2000's teen shows

[noyoucantdonteventry]

[stantler]

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

[prokopetz]

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Clickhole, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

[been-here-too-long]

my boyfriend yesterday: "i think is too soon for us to know our future together"

my tiktok algorithm just 20h later: "loooook at all thiss prettyyyyyyy engagement riiiingssssssssss"

[geosaurusrex-deactivated2015070]

I bought this last night. This is a total game changer. Internet fame, here I come.

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[xxspronkus420xx]

Holy shit what. This is like if someone in ancient sumeria had a camera

[skinnamon39]

[emper0rbuggy]

[liberalsarecool]

Ask Trump to explain Bitcoin and why he promised the Crypto Bros the US would maintain a Bitcoin reserve.

Ask Trump to explain Marxism.

[fairuzfan]

Me on a call to my mom: did you hear the stock market crashed today

My mom: why

Me: ??? How am I supposed to know I go to library school

[fairuzfan]

Don't worry guys I watched the big short once I can totally answer all your stock related questions

[fairuzfan]

Well you see the line on the graph was all the way up here and now it's all the way down here and that's very b *gets mauled by the wolf they leave on wallstreet*

[womenintheirwebs-archived]

[shuttershocky-deactivated202512]

Noooooo they retconned Star Wars Jizz

[stopiwanttotalkaboutcheese]

[voidwerks]

[ondonasand]

You can have my Jizz when you pry it from my cold, dead hands

[been-here-too-long]

ORTO???

[slutforwings]

i took 3 years of film classes and i still don't fucking understand how the camera obscura works. thats magic to me idc

[slutforwings]

this? sorcery. they should arrest this guy

[slutforwings]

people explaining this to me are missing the point. yes i know its a physics thing. i know our eyes work the same way. however. i simply believe light shouldn't work like that

[insomniac-arrest]

it’s so bizarre when animated American films are set in a certain location and then only certain characters have the accents of that place. It makes no damn sense!! like

WHY IS SHE MORE FRENCH THAN THE REST OF THEM???

[insomniac-arrest]

WHY ARE THESE GUYS MORE SCOTTISH THAN THE KIDS??

(also, aren’t they Vikings or something?)

[bramblepatch]

To be fair, almost everyone in Ratatouille does have a French accent. The real question is why Linguini and also all the rats sound intensely American

If it was just the rats I’d say it’s because the movie can be interpreted to mean that the rats understand but don’t necessarily speak human languages so the rat dialog isn’t literally taking place the way we see it but that doesn’t explain why Linguini has a rat accent

[pupangelremade-deactivated20211]

LINGUINI HAS A RAT ACCENT 

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

Do we ever hear like

For sure that Linguini grew up in France tho?

It could be possible he’s just an American immigrant

[burningivy]

I mean his name is Alfredo Linguini so I always assumed he was Italian

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

I’m sorry his first name is Alfredo?

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

What

[insomniac-arrest]

ALFREDO???

[bauliya]

he’s American you guys his mother was American it was mentioned in the beginning

[insomniac-arrest]

I’m sorry, I’ve moved on to the fact his mother was going through her cupboard for baby names

[ohemaa-warrior]

Alfredo was a name before it was a sauce let’s go over the movie from the top again

[dappercyborg]

This is Alfredo di Lelio (right) the inventor of fettuccine Alfredo, he’d come out to the table and make it in front of you by hand

The chap on the left is an airport

[ceekari]

I think you might have your left and right mixed up, my friend

[gogogadgetgolem]

Great post everyone. Hit the showers.

[posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia]

I saw this post on the Wikipedia

[insomniac-arrest]

WHICH WIKIPEDIA