Being Female

The random thoughts of a 34 year old female that are longer than 140 characters. I mean very random- my brain is a scary place. I mean seriously, I once thought MI5 was going to steal me for breaking the Internets and that's the type of crap you're going to read here.

[being--female]

Please visit me in my new home

Please visit me in my new home

I have moved house, and you can find me here… beingfemale.uk I look forward to seeing you there Jodie  

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[being--female]

Forbes Towers has a new dictator... Welcome to the family Milo.

Forbes Towers has a new dictator… Welcome to the family Milo.

Evening all!  Are you sitting comfortably?  Then I shall begin… There has been a change here at Forbes Towers since my last check-in, a change that has had a large impact on my life and taken a bit of adjusting to (hence the lack of bloggy goodness). We have a new addition to the family – Milo!  Milo is a Chihuahua puppy (6 months old as I speak), who is small, fluffy and various shades of brown,…

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[being--female]

I chose...poorly

I chose…poorly

1! One, Une, Uno, Ein.

No matter how I say I cannot escape the horror that there was only 1 person within a 100 mile radius of Aberdeen City registered on Friendfinder.com!!

ARGH!

However I will not be defeated. Statistics show that if you are actively looking for a partner you are more likely to find one (seriously, they had to study that – is it not just common sense that if you are looking for…

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[being--female]

Zoosk

Zoosk #notimpressed #dating #onlinedating #blog

Zoosk Profile set up. Zoosk Profile Deleted.  I simply cannot understand why a site that I signed up to 2 minutes ago is telling me I received a message 50 odd days ago.

Plus I could view eligible men but would have to pay to speak to them.  If I am going to pay for a man, then I will be paying for a hot 20 something stud named Carlos, not Dave fae Dyce…

2 down, 1 to go…

Onwards and Upwards

Jo x

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[being--female]

Flirtbox Fail

Flirtbox Fail #Blog #online dating #notlookinggood

Oh dear, Oh dear Oh Dear, this is not looking good. At 1130 on March 7th 2015 I started to complete my Flirtbox Profile.  At 1152 on March 7th 2015 I called time of death.  Where the hell do I start… I normally abhor bullet point lists in a blog post, but really, there is no other way I can do this! – Only 18 men in the Aberdeen Area are signed up to the service.  I’d be ok if I was Glaswegian as…

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[being--female]

Once more unto the beach,dear friends, once more. 

I decided last night, during my ‘Christ I can’t sleep again’ period between 2am and 5am to do a bit of research into new on-line dating sites – there have been a couple popped up since I last took a quick ‘drive-by’. Some look reasonably ‘ok’ and there are independent reviews which were useful. 

Now, as I have previously stated that you need to be a masochist to use these sites, I best give you…

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[being--female]

Crap Poetry Corner - An Ode to Wine

Crap Poetry Corner - An Ode to Wine #wine #poetry #blog

I have been so busy at the 9-5 lately that I have started dreaming of redwine at 9am…

*Clears throat an steps up to microphone* Now I sit me down to drink With a glass so big it’s like a sink My favourite wine right to the brim So much liquid I could go for a swim! I take a sip and close my eyes It is heaven in disguise I say a silent prayer to high above For blessing me with the wine I love

*tak…

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[being--female]

Cats Corner... The prodding plot. 

Cats Corner… The prodding plot. 



















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[being--female]

Valentine's Day Exposed...

Valentine’s Day Exposed…

Valentine’s Day Itinerary.

What the card companies want you to believe…. 1. You are awakened with a kiss and breakfast, like a princess, hair fully done, make up in place and breath smelling all minty fresh. 2. You’re beloved hand delivers you a card and stacks of pressies and you sip prosseco while laughing gaily at the witty quips and lovely compliments your beloved has penned. 3. You spend the…

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[being--female]

Big butts and Boobs that want to attack Tokyo...

Big butts and Boobs that want to attack Tokyo…

Tonight is lazy Monday. Lazy Monday’s are spent on the sofa wondering if I could pay the blonde one to fetch and carry for me so I don’t have to get up. Anyway, so on this lazy Monday I am lying on my sofa perusing Facebook – I like to check out all the different humour pages as they provide a nice spot of light relief and require little brain power. One of my favourite pages at the moment is…

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[being--female]

Cat Corner – The Sixth Sense Redux

[being--female]

A little bit of life #1

Sometimes a small paragraph can say more about a person and their life than a whole book ever could. Sometimes even just a long blog post is too much. So I present… A little bit of my life. #1

This evening I am indulging in one of my favourite activities. Lying in bed reading my beer and drinking a nice cold book. ( note – It could have started the other way around, but I have nearly finished…

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[being--female]

Crap Poetry Corner - An Ode to Coffee

Crap Poetry Corner – An Ode to Coffee

I swear if I spent less time in bed composing crap poetry, I would have finished writing my novel by now…

Anyhoo…

*steps up the the microphone and clears throat*

Oh! For a cup of coffee to be brought to my bed, Oh! For that shot of caffeine going straight to my head! I am sure that a cup of steaming hot joe, Would wake me up nicely and make me want to go, And tackle the errands and my ironing pile,

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[being--female]

Is dating ‘etiquette’ stuck in the dark ages?

Is dating ‘etiquette’ stuck in the dark ages? Why don't men like it when women 'do the asking' ?#dating #relationships #life

Is dating ‘etiquette’ stuck in the dark ages?

Once upon a time, many years ago, a young girl used to date with abandon.  She used to hook up with men with apparent ease, and never seemed to worry where her next date or relationship was coming from.  It just happened. Now maybe I am looking back on my younger years with rose-tinted glasses and the deficiency of memory that age brings, but I just…

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[being--female]

Not Ok, Cupid: Online Dating One Liners

Jo:

Fantastic look at on-line dating! Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Originally posted on Plus No. 1:

Any single girl who has dared to brave online dating can commiserate with me. Let’s face it, most people turn to online dating because they haven’t been able to meet “a good one” in real life. We don’t have time to go out, or we don’t meet the right people. The normal ones are taken. The…

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[being--female]

Wishing works - that's snow joke *groan*

Wishing works – that’s snow joke *groan*

In case anyone is wondering, my week spent wishing for snow (and writing dodgy poetry about it) was not a complete washout! This is my walk to work in the morning. Not the 2 foot high drifts I was dreaming of, but still…

So, in an effort to test my theory that if you want something badly enough you can wish it into existence (or write it into existence through the medium of crap poetry) I am now…

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[being--female]

An intro to Cat corner - When demented half human sharks attack...

An intro to Cat corner – When demented half human sharks attack…

So, I am sitting on the sofa doing some telly surfing this evening. It’s not something I do often, as I’m more of a reader, but since my work day turned my brain to mince, I decided that some lighthearted early evening telly is all my squishy brain can handle.

After flicking through programmes about benefit scroungers, the news and various comedies, I have settled on watching ‘cats do the…

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