rebel heart

[themallpisode]

[bellscaldwell]

@ella--cooper

[bellscaldwell]

ella--cooper‌:

“You’re out front?” Ella raised an eyebrow as she looked out the window of her bedroom and saw Bella sitting there. She had heard about the little altercation between Leo and Dev and knew that Bella was probably all in her head about it. Even if she hadn’t heard, she still wouldn’t hesitate and started to get herself together while she cradled her phone between her ear and shoulder. “I’ll absolutely accompany you on this drive, I’ll be right down.” She hung up and slung her go to bag across her chest, throwing in her keys, some chapstick, her vape pen, her lighter and a doob tube full of some shortly rolled joints and roaches. She looked around her room and walked over to Zeus and Franky to kiss the top of their heads. “Don’t give Kit a hard time, I’ll be back.” On her way out the door she grabbed them both a water and the bag of Smartfood she had just bought before running off down the stairs, smiling as she got to Bella’s car. “I’m here, I’m here!” She pulled open the door and seat the popcorn in the back seat  and leaned across to kiss her friends cheek before settling back in her seat. “I also have plenty to smoke and a very appropriate playlist if you’re interested.”

A grin spread across her face as watched her friend rush to her car. Ella was the kind of friend Bella wished she had growing up. In high school and college, a majority of Bella’s friends were great to party and do reckless shit with, but they lacked the kind of emotional intelligence necessary for a valuable friendship. Now Ella was a good time, but Bella could also count on her to hold her hand when she needed it. She was the saving grace she wasn’t expecting when she moved to Edens, but thankful for nonetheless. “I may pass on smoking for now, but I am very interested in this playlist,” she said, passing the aux cord. After making sure Ella had buckled her seatbelt, Bella shifted the car into drive and pulled away from the curb. The music filtered out through the speakers on the dashboard as the car sped down the road and Bella took a breath before launching into her tirade. 

“So, I’m sure you’ve probably heard whispers given how goddamn gossipy this town is, but basically Leo freaked the fuck out on Saturday night. He saw me with Devon and came up to us in the middle of the crowd and started yelling at Dev, saying that he’s manipulating me because he’s so much older and shit. It was real freakin’ great ya know? To make a scene like that in front of everybody. As if Dev isn’t insecure enough about what other people think about him as it is. So anyway, Leo’s yelling, accusing him of all of this crap, almost to the point of getting physical. And he’s a lawyer, Ella. He knows that Devon’s on parole and if he gets into a fight he’ll get into a shit ton of trouble.” She paused, recognizing her need to take another breath. “And if that wasn’t bad enough, then he pulls me off to the side and starts chewing me out, saying how stupid I am for being in this relationship and basically saying how disappointed he is in me.” She stopped, loosening the tight grip on her steering wheel she hadn’t intentionally been holding. “It just sucked,” she finished quietly.

[bellscaldwell]

The Caldwell Family

ft. @leocaldwelll

[bellscaldwell]

Where: Leo’s Office

With: @leocaldwelll

The week following the Masquerade Ball hadn’t been an easy one for Bella. Not only was she trying to comprehend everybody else’s drama of the night, but she was also trying to put together the pieces of her own life. Though things between her and Devon were fine, Bella had not spoken to Leo since that night. The animosity between them was killing her. She felt guilty for some of the things she had said to him, but she wasn’t sorry for defending herself and her relationship. In an effort to salvage the last positive relationship with her family, Bella swallowed her pride and made her way to Leo’s office. She walked through the door, hoping to find him at quiet enough time in his work day to allow them to have their conversation. “Hey,” she said quietly, seeing him at his desk. “I think we need to talk.” 

[bellscaldwell]

devon--reynolds‌:

Devon melted into her arms, hugging her tightly as he closed his eyes and took a moment to just be grateful she was happy to see him. In the early morning when he couldn’t sleep, he kept having this scenario of her in his head, telling him that her brother was right, that they shouldn’t be together. He knew her better than that, or so he liked to think he did and when she hugged him, a rush of relief hit him and he had to hug her a little tighter before stepping inside. “Brooks? Shit I should..I should text him,” he said softly and shook his head, feeling shitty that he had put any of them through that. “I know, I’m sorry I was just…I wasn’t in any state to..talk.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face, moving to sit on her couch. “Bella, I…” he took a deep breath and shook his head. “I…got drunk last night. I uh, after I walked away I was just…I-i was so wound up and there was all this shit in my head and I took a bottle from the bar and I just like…guzzled it down. I was with Nate Hunter for a bit and then I ran into Oli and she made sure I got home safe. I was..a mess, uh, you know, I-I got sick. Haven’t had a drink in 20 years and I just..” he kept bouncing his leg and trying his best to look at her. “I-I couldn’t let you see me like that, you know? I didn’t want you to see me like that. I’m sorry,” he repeated and reached for her hands. “I really didn’t mean to put you through all of that. And I’m…I’m sorry our night didn’t turn out as planned.”

Bella listened to Devon talk, comprehending his words and putting together the pieces of the story. The look on his face and the tone of her voice let her know just how ashamed he felt. It broke her heart. In those moments all she wanted to do was make him feel better, to let him know everything was going to be okay. If she wasn’t made enough at Leo for the things he had said to her, Bella was even more pissed at the effect he had had on Devon. “Please, stop apologizing,” she whispered, pulling his hands into hers and rubbing her thumb across his knuckles. She looked up into his face, offering a small smile. “Everything’s going to be okay. I can’t imagine how you feel right now, but I want you to know that I don’t feel any differently about you or about us.” She shifted on the couch, bringing herself closer to him. “I’m not disappointed in you for drinking either. You’re probably feeling disappointed in yourself and I can’t tell you how to feel, but I’m here to support you. This isn’t your fault, okay?” Bella raised one of her hands to rest on his face. She wanted so badly for him to believe the words coming out of her mouth. She wanted him to know how much she truly cared for him, more than she did for most of the other people in her life. “I know I didn’t get the chance to say this last night, but I love you too.” And she did.

[deedeethornberry-blog]

[bellscaldwell]

Where: Outside Ella’s Apartment

With @ella--cooper

Bella was feeling more overwhelmed with her life with each passing day. Although the events of the Masquerade Ball were behind her and she and Dev were in the process of working things out, she still hadn’t spoken to Leo after their fight. She replayed their argument over and over in her head, wincing as she remembered the harsh words they threw at each other. What she needed right now, was a friend. She needed somebody to talk through what she was feeling with. As Bella pulled up to the curb outside of the apartment building, she called Ella from her phone. She felt relief as the woman answered after the third ring and Bella spilled the request out to her. “I know this is super last minute and random and I don’t even know if you’re home, but if you are home and you’re not busy will you come outside? I need to just drive and I don’t want to be alone.”

[bellscaldwell]

kxthrine-bronson‌:

@bellscaldwell

“And now she won’t leave. So i’m stuck at home with my brothers ex-wife, but still wife. I guess I could get my own place, but I like the no rent aspect of Bull’s house.” Bella had invited Kate over to her place, and she gladly accepted. Tensions were at an all time high at the Bronson household and Kate was grateful for the escape that Bella provided. “Anyways, enough about me. How was the ball? Tell me all about it. I don’t remember most because I got shit faced.” 

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on. She’s living with you guys? In your house? That must be super freaking awkward. And Bull’s just, like, okay with it all?” Bella asked her questions, trying to mask the judgement in her tone with surprise. Although she hadn’t had many direct interactions with Bull herself, Bella had heard about his marriage problems from both Kate and Devon. “Well listen, you’re always welcome here. I can’t promise I’ll be here all of the time, but door’s always open,” she giggled. At Kate’s question, Bella sighed. “Honestly? I wish I didn’t remember the ball. It started off fun, Devon was being his sweet self. And then my brother came out of literally nowhere and started yelling at him, getting in his face and all. He’s a fucking lawyer, Kate, he knows how much trouble Dev would get in if he got involved in a fight. Then Dev disappeared and Leo started yelling at me, telling me how stupid I am for being with Devon. It was... a lot.”

[liveitout]

[ella--cooper]

@bellscaldwell

[bellscaldwell]

devon--reynolds‌:

After spending the night with his head over Oli’s toilet, her rubbing his back and making him tea, Devon really didn’t know where to start. Oli had gotten him to reach out to his sponsor and set up a time to meet but all he could think of was how crazy Bella must have been going looking for him. She had called his phone but every time he wanted to pick up he felt like sobbing. He felt sick and ashamed, unwilling to accept that sometimes human just failed. But he felt like more than a failure. Still, after some words of encouragement, a long shower and some fresh clothes, he made his way to Bella’s apartment. He took deep breathes as he approached her door, shaky hands knocking as he waited for her to open up. When she did, his expression softened completely and he took a step forward, “I’m sorry,” he said softly, clearly ashamed. “I-I’m so sorry.” @bellscaldwell

Bella and Brooks had looked everywhere for Devon at the masquerade event. Nobody they asked had seen him and after several phone calls heading straight to voicemail, Bella assumed he didn’t want to be found. She gave up around midnight, feeling defeated as she made her way back to her apartment. The events of the night replayed through her mind as she laid in her bed and stared at her phone screen, the unanswered texts to Dev taunting her. Sleep would not come easy. That morning had been a quiet one, consisting of her sitting around on the couch, checking her phone every so often, hoping to hear form Devon. The sound of knocking on her down caught her attention. Bella swung open the door of her appointment and felt an immediate wave of relief at the sight of Devon. “Jesus Christ,” she whispered before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. “I was so worried about you.” She pulled back from their embrace and looked up at his face. “I’m sorry too. About, well, everything.” She took a step back, letting him enter her apartment. “What happened to you last night? Brooks and I were looking for you everywhere. And I called and texted and you didn’t answer. I was so worried.” 

[bellscaldwell]

leocaldwelll‌:

It was like everything hit him in that moment, harsh reality hitting him in the face instead of just riding out on some adrenaline rush and not just riding out on his rage that came from the shock. He was actually here, a newcomer in a town, trying to look after his baby sister because his parents asked him to, only to see her on the arm of some guy who just said he loved her. He had thought about this moment before, how he’d deal with the reality that Bella would eventually end up falling for someone and for it to be a serious thing, and she’d call him up to tell him all about how happy she is but never did Leo ever think it’d happen with someone like Devon. Granted, Leo didn’t know who the hell he was, what he was all about, but the fact that he went after his twenty-one-year-old sister was everything he needed to know. It was like the louder Bella’s voice went, the smaller his became until all he could do was look at her. 

“You know when you were still a kid, I developed this stupid, irrational fear of corners?” Leo muttered, letting out a chuckle as he looked down at his shoes. “Corners of tables, specifically. Anything that you might walk into and hit your head on. Also edges of paper, weirdly enough, because I was looking after you when you had your first paper cut and I was freaking out even more than you were,” Leo said as he looked away, struggling to find it in him to look his sister in the eye because she was right, he was disappointed, and he knew that would be worse to her than to have him just be angry. Anger, he could get over eventually, but Leo understood that their parents’ disappointment had always been a sting, something he tried so hard to compensate for through the years, because in a lot of ways, Bella was sometimes like his daughter, instead of just his sister. He was eighteen by the time she was born, and he had looked after her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she still was. “I never want to see you in pain, Bells. I feel like I was put into this world to look after you, you know? You think I don’t want to see you happy, huh?” He murmured, still unable to look at her as he shook his head. “You know damn well how much I trust you to make your own decisions - I always have… but I need you to understand how wrong this is. I love you so fucking much and you deserve to be given all the love in this world even when I think there’s no one who would ever deserve you and….I’ve never been disappointed in you.” Leo paused because he knew she could hear the words he hadn’t spoken out loud. Until now. “Just please think this through.”

She felt a streak of tears snake down her cheek and she quickly raised her hand to wipe it away. She hated everything about this conversation, the anger behind their words, the hostility in their body language. It all felt so wrong. Bella never fought with her brother and couldn’t imagine a life where this kind of interaction was the norm. His stories of when she was little calmed her, bringing her emotions down to a manageable level. Leo was like a father to her. He cared for her and loved her more than their actual father did. The Caldwell household was never the most warm and friendly, given the rigid nature of their parents, but Bella was able to endure because of her brother. She couldn’t care less about Harper, but Leo made her feel like she belonged. He picked her up when she fell and lifted her higher to a place where she could be the happy and carefree teenager she once was - even if she didn’t make the smartest decisions then. He defended her in her arguments with their parents. He showed up to her middle and high school art shows, even buying her pieces for $10 each to hang in his office. When Edens Town became her new home, the only thing she missed about Columbus was being able to see Leo whenever she wanted. She would miss stopping by his office on her way from school where she would sink into the desk chairs to bitch about Mom and Dad for the next hour. And she had been so excited when he showed up here. She was ready to show him her new apartment and introduce him to her new friends, to show him the life she had built for herself. But Devon was part of that life and Leo apparently couldn’t accept that. 

The energy she felt slipping away with his stories came back in full force. “I’m not that kid anymore, Leo. A sharp corner or a paper cut won’t hurt me as much as you think. The way you’re acting right now? And the way you’re talking to me? That hurts me.” The expression on his face told her everything she needed to know about how he felt. Despite the words she spat at him moments before, the thought of him being truly disappointed in her tore her heart apart. “You say you love me, but damn I am feeling everything except that.” More tears spilled down her face and she couldn’t make the effort to wipe these ones away. “Me being with Devon isn’t wrong just because you say it is. I’m happy, we’re happy. I don’t know what idea you have in your head, but he’s not manipulating me or making me do anything I don’t want to do. We’re just...us. And that’s what makes me happy, okay?”

[bellscaldwell]

bwildxr‌:

With all of the drama in the town suddenly coming to a rolling boil, Brooks had managed to try and stay out of the way from a lot of it. He had been overwhelmed with joy seeing Devon and how well he looked as well as how happy he was with Bella. However, after the two had departed and returned to their dates Brooks had kind of lost track of time. By now, he was standing in the crowd, feeling rather stifled by the number of people and their now drunken chatter.  While most appeared rather pleased he turned quickly as someone pulled on his jacket, eyes wide and stance ready to jump into some kind of action. He relaxed as he noted it was simply Bella, although she did not look all that well. In fact, she looked downright distressed as she pulled him to the side of the room. “What?” He said and then turned, looking around the room and trying to quickly scan each face in the crowd. Odd. Very odd. Suspicious almost. “I haven’t seen him since earlier,” Brooks admitted, “With the way he was fawning when I saw him I figured he’d be with you.” Brooks turned around entirely, trying to figure out where Devon may be. “I’ll go check the bathroom in case,” he offered and nodded towards the restrooms. “I will be right back, just stay put.” 

Bella nodded her head as Brooks moved towards the restroom. She was hopeful that Devon would come out with him, but she had her doubts as well. In the time it had taken Leo to chew her out, he could have gone all of the way across town. Devon was an adult and could make decisions for himself, but she couldn’t help but replay the worst case scenarios in her mind. The uncertainty was killing her. As Brooks returned from the restroom, alone, Bella felt her stomach drop. “We were together and then my brother got involved. He started yelling and got in his face and it almost got physical and then Mike pulled him back and then he was gone,” she felt the words spill out of her mouth. She took a breath, trying to remind herself that things were probably okay. She probably didn’t have to worry as much as she was. With the adrenaline pumping through her blood, she couldn’t help but think the worst though. “I’m worried. And I don’t know what to do,” she said, aware of how utterly helpless she was in that moment. 

[natashasromanoff]

I know you think you’re trying to make things right, but you’re not. Raphael’s been there for me when I needed him. Needed him? Look at yourself. He saved my life. You didn’t even notice when something was wrong.

[bellscaldwell]

@leocaldwelll

[bellscaldwell]

leocaldwelll‌:

“I’m not saying you’re a stupid fucking kid, I’m saying you’re fucking acting like one tonight, Bella,” Leo said, making sure she could see in his eyes just how angry he was. He wasn’t playing around with something like this because it was so wrong in his eyes. If she ended up falling in love with that guy, then where did that leave his sister? Leo felt the need to put an end to this, but for the first time in a long time, he had absolutely no idea where to even start, not with Bella barely even listening to him, and definitely not when he had the urge to hit Devon whenever Leo saw him. “I love her.” The words were still ringing in Leo’s head, the way he said it so simply, so calmly, like it was the least problematic thing in the world, like they were words Leo wanted to hear from someone older than even he was. “Because what, Bells? Huh? You love him too? Is that it?” Leo asked, shaking his head at her. “Of course that’s not a bad thing! I want you to be happy, Bella! But why the hell can’t you find somebody who makes you happy that’s relatively close to your age, huh? I’m sure there are plenty of fish here in the sea that is Edens, and you just had to go with him? I couldn’t give a fuck about his record but can you just stop and think about the fact that when you were brought into this world as a fucking newborn, he was already nineteen years old? Fucking nineteen, Bella!”

His question made her stop short, mouth agape. Did she love him? She certainly felt more for him than she had anybody else, ever. “I don’t know, Leo. Okay? I don’t have an answer to all of your fucking questions. Even if I did, you wouldn’t hear it anyway.” All Bella could think about was the look on Devon’s face when he had fled. He looked so angry. Bella couldn’t blame him, given the situation. She felt a sudden urge to run and find him. To make sure he was okay. But she couldn’t leave now. “I can’t believe you,” she whispered, still shaking her head as she stood there. She could feel the fight leaving her body; she had been fighting her family for so long. As another wave of frustration passed through her body, she stood up straighter, looking her brother in the eye. “Where do you get off thinking you have the right to act like this? What makes you think you have the right to control who I’m seeing? I’m an adult, whether you want to believe it or not. I’ve been living my own life here for months now without your ‘guidance’.” She could hear the levels in her voice rising. “You can’t just show up here and start deciding what’s right and wrong! You can’t just show up here, embarrass him and me in front of this many people and for what? To prove a point? To tell me you’re disappointed in me? Because trust me, I’ve known that my whole life.”

[bellscaldwell]

devon--reynolds‌:

“Yeah well I’m out here escorting you, I can’t look like just any old guy you pick up off the street.” It was no secret that he thought the world of her, that for the past month he had been home she had felt like this anchor in the midst of the crazy waters he felt like he was drowning in. He let out a laugh, his own cheeks turning red at her kiss and happily took her hand. “Fair point, I don’t want to be reminded of all the things I can’t buy you,” he teased with a playful roll of his eyes. He happily let her lead him, his eyes only on her as they moved through the crowd. He didn’t care who was watching as they started to dance and he happily wrapped his arm around her. “Yeah? Should I take over the DJ booth? Put on some Jimi Hendrix. Maybe I can start a mosh pit.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her softly before resting his forehead against hers. “I’m really happy I’m here with you,” he admitted, putting her hand on his chest like he usually did so she could feel how fast his heart was racing. “Being with you is like a dream,” he admitted, his expression softening as he looked at her. “You make life so worth living, you know that?”

“Oh God,” she laughed. “Can you imagine this crowd in a mosh pit? Half the room would have a broken hip.” She smiled with their foreheads pressed together. Being with him made her happier than she had been in a long time. For so many years she had wasted her time with shitty guys who fell short of anything worthy of more than a one night stand. Bella was used to sleeping around - she found casual sex enjoyable - but she’d been lying if she said she wasn’t tired of the 4am texts and disappointments. What she had with Devon, whatever that may be, was different in the best way. Instead of expecting it to crash and burn, she was excited for what was to come. “You know, I’m really happy I’m here with me too,” she teased with a laugh. His heart beat raced underneath where her hand sat on his chest. The fast pace was typical, he seemed to always be nervous around her though she couldn’t figure out why. “You’re so nice to me,” she whispered. “And you make me very, very happy.” They continued to sway with the music, getting lost in the crowd. 

[bellscaldwell]

Where: Masquerade Ball

With: @bwildxr

After Leo’s outburst, Devon had disappeared from the scene. Now that Bella was finished with her own argument with her brother, she set out to find Devon. In a fit of anger and confusion, she left Leo and his stinging words behind. She needed to find Dev, to make sure he was okay. Upon recognizing Brooks as one of the faces in the crowd of people around her, she grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket to get his attention. She pulled him to the side of the room out of sight of everybody else, determined not to draw any more attention to herself or the situation in general. “Have you seen Dev? I can’t find him anywhere and I’m freaking out. I just, I don’t...” she trailed off, trying to wrap her mind around the events of the night. “I don’t know what to do, Brooks.” 

[bellscaldwell]

leocaldwelll‌:

“Wrong with me? Are you fucking kidding me, Bella?” Leo asked in a fierce whisper, taking his own step back as he took a moment to look at her. It felt like he had just blinked and Bella became this… force of a woman that made him both proud and terrified. He adored that she was strong enough and smart enough to make her own decisions but there were just times that he wished he could shake some sense into her, to see things through his eyes. “You don’t see how wrong it is that you’re fucking dating someone as old as Devon? He’s older than even me, Bella! He’s practically twice your age! How is that okay?” Leo asked, struggling to keep his voice low. “I wouldn’t have to pull a real Dad if you just use your brain, Bells! I know you have a pretty good one so why don’t you use that, huh? No, you know what, I know exactly why you can’t see there’s anything wrong with this and it’s because you’re still so fucking young, Bella! You’re a kid! You have no business getting into a relationship with someone like Devon and you should damn well know that!” Leo said, breathing deeply. “Or do you already know it and just don’t care?”

“Wow,” she shook her head, pulling her lips into a tight lipped smile. “Because I’m just a stupid fucking kid, right? My little ‘kid’ brain is too small to make decisions for myself? Am I understanding you correctly?” She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. Any other day, Bella would make the effort to listen to him, to understand his point. But the way he was acting reminded her far too much of their parents and she could feel herself slowly starting to shut him out in that moment. “And what exactly do you mean ‘someone like him’? Is it his record that bothers you? Because newsflash, Leo, not everybody can be as goddamned perfect as you are.” She turned away from him, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill out of frustration. She would not back down from this. With a deep breath, she turned back to her brother. “I know he’s been to prison. I know he’s older than me. I know all of these things and I still choose to be with him because...” She paused, unsure of where her words were headed. She heard Devon say he loved her earlier. The words had surprised her and though she knew she felt the same way,she couldn’t bring herself to say them out loud. “Because, well, he makes me happy, okay? Is that really such a bad thing?”