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ALL LITTLES AND DADDIES PLEASE READ
What Is A Daddy Dom?
Daddy/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. In my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman.
He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. Daddy Dom is a feeling, an environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides.
So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom?
A Daddy Dom wants to be the centre of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mould you to the image he thinks you should become. He sees in you someone who can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline.
His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.
This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase itâs value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.
He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.
If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.
This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.
A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissiveâŠacceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesnât matter. To him she is beautiful.
I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissiveâs life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that itâs participants crave.
A Daddy Doms traits. (found here)
A Daddy Dom for me is a man who is mature, loving and caring. He sees himself as a caregiver, an alfa protector. He worships his little girl from above, not from below. He get to know her so deeply that he can tell when she is good to herself and when sheâs not. Then he steps in and corrects, puts up rules and regulations. Only when itâs good for his little girl. He spoils her with love and affection and is never cheap with words or other proof of his affection.
He is a true fathers figure. He likes to take care of others and find satisfaction in seeing his little girl blossom. He finds personal pleasure in making his little girl into the best person she can be.
He is a dominant which means that he takes charge in sexual situations as well as in situations of danger or need. He knows that spanking and other BDSM-related activities strengthen their bonds to each other and gives his little girl pleasure, comfort and other emotionally valuable results.
He takes pleasure in seeing his little girl light up at his presence but also her dark glittering eyes as he controls her in bed.
A Daddy Dom is very proud of his little girl. Often she has is a leader or strong career women outside of their relationship but within the walls of their private space she is his little girl. Free to be little as well as sexually craving without boundaries.
Daddy Dom to let their girl be a wild child sometimes. Going out partying with friends and being a real party girl. Itâs a need for a contrast to my very formal and well behaved life in general. Feel comfortable doing this when Iâm in a relationship, where I have the security of someone being there for me if I need it.
To me a Daddy/little girl relationship has nothing to do with age and more to do with the type of relationship the two have together. The Daddy is the nurturer, the safe one and the object of sexual obsession for his little girl.
Little girls tend to be very obsessive about their Daddies. One might even say needy for Daddyâs attention and his body. Daddies will probably understand what I mean. She may have a successful career, be top in her field but she knows Daddy is always there for her in their private world together. She looks to Daddy for love, comfort and He is her sexual desire. She looks up to Daddy, admires him, and trusts him.
Daddy feels needed, adored and worshipped by his little girl. He is almost everything to her. His little girl will do almost anything to please Daddy, to make him happy.
He will always listen to her opinions, thoughts and feeling, because he is interested in her mind as much as he is her body.
A little girl is honest and trustworthy to her Daddy and his private thoughts, desires and actions. It will be her place to relax, where she can show all her emotions without holding back, be free.
7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom -Â by WizarDavid on FetLife.com
Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of âDaddyâ within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Letâs get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not promote incest or pedophilia as the kink may be misunderstood by ignorant people. Rather, in this specific subcategory, the dynamic is set up for the male dominant to be called âDaddyâ, and the female submissive (sub) to be called âgirlâ, âlittle girlâ, or âbaby girlâ, etc. Rarely is she called âdaughterâ, as this evokes too many parallels to incest, which Daddies and their girls detest. And while some Doms and some subs may have been victims of family violence, incest, or other abuse, Daddy Doms and their girls are not overrepresented in these categories any more than the general population.
The following are some of the fundamental characteristics, and indeed needs, that all Daddy dominants seem to share universally:
Her Number One Fan, the Daddy usually believes in his girl more than she herself does, and often uses the wisdom of his age to see her not only for who she is, but also for who she can become. A Daddyâs eyes light up when his girl enters the room. He is proud of her and praises her for not just for what she accomplishes, but for what she attempts, and for who she is. He accepts her for who she is, flaws and all. And he knows all her flaws because he is also her
Ultimate Confidant, allowing her to bare her soul to him beyond all others. She may have many different relationships and types of friends in her life. But Daddy will be her âumbrella confidantâ. The one with whom she can talk about absolutely anything and trust that what she tells Daddy stays with Daddy. He is the one from whom she withholds nothing. The one who doesnât mind if she needs to call and talk at 3am.
He is the Protector of his girl against real or perceived threats, dangers, and bad people. Sometimes a little girl just needs to curl up in Daddyâs arms and smile at some of his bluster, and sometimes the Daddy may have to act on his protective instincts. Pity the person who messes with a Daddyâs girl.
Her Teacher and mentor shows her new things that come from a longer and possibly wider set of life experiences. Daddy likes to take his girl to places she has never been, feed her foods she has never eaten, and do activities she has never enjoyed before. He is never so happy as when he can look in her eyes and know he has given her something she has never had before. This also translates into sexual adventurism for some Daddy/girl couples. He symbolically deflowers her on a regular basis, whether that be sexual or just in exposure to new life adventures.
He wants to be her Guide and advisor. As the girl makes her way in the world, Daddy wants to be there to answer her questions, calm her fears, make her insecurities go away, and give her sound advice based on his years of experience.
Anchor. The Daddy Dom is an unyielding, unmovable anchor in the storm. No matter what happens in the girlâs life, she knows her Daddy will be right there where he has always been, and she can hold onto that even if she is blinded by her own tears. Daddies know the storm will pass, and she will be safe, but she needs something to hold onto that will not move.
Disciplinarian. When the girl acts badly, she expects to be disciplined or punished for the infraction. Most Daddy dominants find it occasionally difficult to keep this up, especially as the affection for their girl grows. They would love nothing more than to spoil their girls, but they realize this is the path to ruin. One a girl begins to believe she can manipulate Daddy, she no longer sees him as her dominant, unyielding anchor. A girl needs the stability and protection of a man who is more dominant than she is. To demonstrate that characteristic, Daddies must sometimes be excessively strict and rigid, more so than they would in normal relationships. The act of disciplining the girl may be used as part of a sadomasochistic activity.
In addition to these practically mandatory characteristics, some couples add their own sadism and masochism to the mix, and may use the concept of the wolf or lion and little lamb to describe the way in which the Daddy simultaneously protects his little girl from the world, and yet wants to dominate and devour her sexually. As a sadist, he may create the very tears that he will later kiss away. Sounds sweet, and yet terrifying, if you are not accustomed to the world of sadomasochism in which these participants operate. But to a Daddy and his girl who are into BDSM, this is the most perfect of scenarios they can imagine to act out their fetish.
Daddies come in many flavors, just as their girls do. Some Daddies may have polyamorous girls who have male and female lovers, and Daddy may be that one person outside the polyamory âfamilyâ who does not judge her. A Daddy and his girl might not have a sexual relationship at all. Since this is typically a D/s construct, there is usually a sexual component, but as can be seen from the above list of characteristics, sex is not the largest factor or the motivating force in this type of relationship. A Daddy may have more than one girl, may be married and have a girl, too, or may have other types of combinations. But it is rare for a girl to have more than one Daddy.
It is said that âa Top is for tonight, a Dominant is for as long as she is submissive, a Master is there until she is no longer a slave, but a Daddy is foreverâ. Daddy may have to give his girl away to a husband. He may eventually run out of things to teach his little girl. She may ultimately not need his sage advice and his experience any more. Hopefully he will be too old by then to have to deal with it, because when there is nothing left to teach, no need for a confidant, no discipline needing to be meted out, when his little girl no longer needs her Daddy, thatâs when he will die inside. The need that Daddy has for his girl is every bit as potent as the need she has for her Daddy.
A Daddy usually knows he is one. He doesnât have to be convinced of it, or taught how to be a Daddy. He may only need to have his innate Daddy characteristics pointed out to him. It might happen in the throes of a sexual activity when she exclaims âDaddyâ for the first time, and the light goes on. Similarly, the little girl usually knows she needs a Daddy without having to be taught how to be his little girl. Once they identify themselves as Daddy/little girl, the draw is more powerful than many other forms of attraction, because it is rooted in deep-seated and old emotions that may not have any other outlet.
Girls in this lifestyle do not act like little girls in their normal work lives. They do not bring teddy bears to work. Indeed many are older women who are very assertive and successful in the business world, but need this special place to get nurturing and comfort lacking in their careers. A Daddy might not necessarily act parental or fatherly in his normal work life either. For some it may be role playing, for some it is a secret lifestyle, and other couples delight in the joys of unabashedly practicing the Daddy/girl dynamic in public. In any case, it evokes deep-seated needs and emotions for both parties, and is a very powerful dynamic.
While some of these characteristics could easily be applied to any good male-female relationship, there are some that require something quite different than the â50/50 partnershipâ that is so often touted as the most healthy. This is not 50/50. This is a Dominant/submissive relationship, and all the characteristics should be viewed through the lens of D/s.
And while many of the characteristics could also be easily applied to any good D/s or Master/slave relationship, there are some characteristics that are decided different. Not all Masters consider themselves their slaveâs number one fan or her umbrella confidant. Teacher, guide, and anchor are not necessarily roles that a Master is required to adopt.
This is nowhere near a complete treatise on Daddy/girl relationships. It does not address the possibility that parent-child ego states (Transactional Analysis) are the preferred communication mode. It does not address the âplay spaceâ created by the Daddy for the girl to enjoy feeling âlittleâ, or many other aspects that make D/g different from other D/s, M/s and similar dynamics. But this description of Daddy Dom characteristics will hopefully be useful as a baseline explanation of what makes a Daddy tick.
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Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Manâs Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage
The fantasy of having a âHotwifeâ is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of âswingingâ and the modern âopen relationshipâ. Â Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship â the woman â going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and âgetting someâ for himself? Â
Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures. Â They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate â this isnât so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom. Â Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the âbest mateâ or the âmost attractive womanâ. Â With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partnerâs Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow âweakerâ than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner. Â Is this really true, though? Â Could the truth lie somewhere within todayâs manâs loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or âmonogamyâ? Â Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence? Â
Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a âwoman ledâ relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to âcaptureâ the best mate and even when sheâs out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own â a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed â their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. Â While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being âat homeâ, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the âwinâ in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men. Â
As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. Â This is why the desire for âreclaimingâ a Hotwife after a date is so strong â itâs actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. Â So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?
He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It
As women weâve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating â before weâve found our âpersonâ.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessingâŠwhy?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldnât it work once weâre married? In contrast, women typically donât respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy â we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be âjust not that into usâ.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once weâve committed to them, because we, ourselves donât want to feel as though weâre in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?
For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered. Â Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. Â It doesnât take a lot to feed the fantasy. Â Itâs not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, itâs also about the little things â the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the âteaseâ of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much weâre looking forward to doing it again. Â Remember, this ignites the âcompetitionâ element of things, which is natural for men.
The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it
You may be thinking, âBut Iâm doing it for him, Iâm not doing it for myselfâ (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this âother guyâ did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the âother guyâ. Â I know it seems crazy, because we donât want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their âothersâ were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we donât. Â Thatâs because we donât have that âcompetition driveâ like our men do.
Letâs face it, despite what our men tell us â âItâs all about your pleasureâ or âI donât get anything out of it unless youâre enjoying it, because I love you so muchâ â this isnât some ultimate âunselfishâ thing our men are doing for us. Â These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is âI want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to meâ. Â Itâs their kink, and we have to understand it. Â
So, if youâve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, youâre going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think âBut Iâm only doing it for himâ, follow that us with âIâm doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed itâ.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and thatâs OKAYâŠtrust meâŠembellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bullâs amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire. Â
The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You
Again, youâre playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here⊠ The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that heâs ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many timesâŠif I am completely honest about an âencounterâ and admit to âDâ that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didnât quite âget thereâ, he isnât nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I donât like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truthâŠmaybe your lover wasnât the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be âhe was amazing with his mouthâ and leave the rest up for interpretation. Â
Weâre women. Â We are strong and capable and we are smart. Â And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be. Â Where do we want to be? Â We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to âcompeteâ they will need to step up their own game in order to âkeepâ us satisfied â be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above. Â
Happy Hotwifing!
-S
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