❝ Take thy BEAK from out my HEART, & take thy FORM from off my DOOR! ❞
moonridge 🥀
independent & selective baldur's gate 3 tav character, the great old one warlock ozus moonridge. penned by cross ( they / he ), 26. read my rules before following / interacting. 21+ please!
Henlo I know im a southpark rper and thats cringe but its just cause Kenny is a big comfort character for me.
I write an aged up, heavily headcanoned version of Kenny and almost consider him an OC at this point so check the About, give me a Follow and climb in my Inbox to give the boy some love <3
Im always down to plot, write aus and throw this guy into all kinds of goofy situations
My name is Jin and this is my DC mixed multi-muse ( mostly dcau + comic based )! My blog is still a work-in-progress but i’m open to any and all interactions if anyone is interested! I’m everything-friendly and non-selective.
So, if you want to potentially roleplay with each other just give me a like or a follow to let me know! Or, if you’re feeling generous, reblog this post so others who might can see this. Thanks!
This is a personal opinion based on my own tastes mostly so don’t kill me
Amhuluk: Associated with drowning, disease and fog. Only one of those things is sexy and I don’t care that you shaved your legs (0/10)
Bunyip: Only description is that he’s a swamp monster which means he’s probably really smelly and slimy. Not deal breakers, but might also just be Old Greg and that’s not a gamble I want to make. Also he’s Australian (1/10)
Behemoth: I’ve never wanted to fuck a mammoth before but if I had to choose one. (1.5/10)
King Kong: Maybe its just me but I really don’t trust primates. He has the benefit of being most humanoid creature on this list if you’re into that, but this is a monster fuckability list and... a big, hairier human just doesn’t do it for me. (2/10)
Typhon: Basically he’s a big lizard, and we have enough lizards. I’m sorry Typhon but being the strongest creature in greek mytho’s doesn’t make up for copying Godzilla’s thing. (2.5/10)
Quetzalcoatl: A feathered serpent actually sounds kinda dope. Might run late picking you up for your date though. (3/10)
Scylla: Sea monster spider girl with tendrils. Not a lot to go off of but still sounds like a cutie. (3.5/10)
Yamata no Orochi: While having a bunch of heads is usually pretty sexy, I feel like 8 is just excessive and may get confusing. Still decently fuckable though. (4/10)
Leviathan: Probably a big ol crocodilly, I’ve seen Dorohedoro. That’s sexy. (4.5/10)
Mokele-Mbembe: Apparently his tail is two thirds the length of its body so Im crossing my fingers and hoping that applies to other things at well. (5/10)
Methuselah: This bastard has a whole ecosystem on his back, the type of monster who could provide for his family and maintain a home. Mathuselah waters my plants and feeds my cat of course I’m fucking him. (5.5/10)
Rodan: Is a bastard, I would fuck him to teach him a lesson (6/10)
Baphomet: Goat headed demon? Sounds like a fuckin babe to me! (6.9/10)
Sekhmet: All it says is she has lion like features like a sphynx and seems to have some relation to Egyption mythology which is tight as hell. I wish there was more about her. (7/10)
Tiamat: I once saw a play with Tiamot in it and she was cute af (7.5/10)
Abaddon: There isn’t any description of what he looks like but I’m just going to take the fact it says: is a Biblical Fallen Angel, sometimes the Angel of Death as permission to find him irresistible. (8/10)
Mothra: Is obviously the prettiest monster, but would I fuck her? The answer is: I wish I could fuck her. She’s in a relationship with Godzilla though and I have way too much respect for her. (9/10)
Godzilla: He’s cute, he’s alpha, he has a wife but I actually think she’d be okay with it. (9.5/10)
King Ghidorah: 3 heads. 7 dicks. Possibly more. *smokes pipe* (10/10)
Na Kika: Octopus god, nickname Kraken? She sounds like the girl of my DREAMS (11/10)
Birthdays? Simply the best! Sure, you got older, blah-blah, responsibilities, the clock is ticking TIK TOK (not the app) buuuut— C-A-K-E! Mmm? Yup, cake. Like the one in her hands; for the record Cyn REALLY tried. Found an appropriate YouTube video (aimed at kids) and got the right ingredients and utonsils- ufensils? U toe n stilts? Whatevs, the kitchen stuff!! Yet the cake came out.. Not wrong but WEIRD looking. A bit tilted. Still, it was tasty!! Cherry n choco – hopefully Kenny will like it!
Birthday Pressies (a whole day late)
Cherry N choco??? It’s like- the two sexiest foods. Cynet had essentially made him an aphrodisiac cake with her OWN TWO HANDS.
Kenny can’t help thinking theres some implication there, his mind wandering to images of her kneading warm chocolatey dough, (despite that not being how cakes are made-)
her boobs jiggling with unreal physics, (just like one of his animes)
cherries are involved too, but Kenny can’t divulge how or where.
That would be a huge invasion of Cynet’s privacy you perv!!!
He balances the precious cargo in his lap (breakfast in bed to boot??) while Birthday Sex plays “gently” in the background. (Wonder what that’s about-) Kenny fingers the cake (literally, there wasn’t a fork in sight and he wasn’t just going to leave it unfingered) digging a cherry out to plot in his mouth.
(Okay, this cake should have come with a choking hazard- Cyn, next time take the seeds out of the cherries before putting them in the cake.)
He doesn’t mind though, watching her fiddle with his lights and then embark on some crazy elaborate dance on her way to the bed. Graceful as an emu and climbing next to him he sexily spits a cherry seed at her cheek and laughs when she laughs (how could he help himself?). He digs a whole hand in the cake and offers her a helping and as crazy horny as it all sounds he’s just really happy to have someone here with him- someone who will remember him come tomorrow- someone who actually gave a shit it was his birthday.
He brushes her hair back with his clean hand and gets all sincere like he does in private.
“This is really good Cyn,” Easily the best cake he’s ever had (in bed, with a cherry on top) “Like- super good, like, tastes like losing my virginity all over again.”
"Happy birthday, you adorable little bitch. I couldn't get you a stripper in a cake— yeah, I know, but! I was able to buy a box of..." Nathan pauses to read, "...Zebra Cakes and Cosmic Brownies. You can eat 'em and I can strip. It's almost as good."
“Almost? I’d say better, you don’t normally get t’ fuck the cake stripper too and that’s a big bonus with you.” Kenny wastes no time ripping into the snacks, stuffing a whole brownie in his mouth.
Nathan gets him, on more levels than most people could dream to, but one thing Kenny appreciates more than though whole immortal business, is being a broke bitch. Fancy gifts always made his stomach tight- gas station brownies and discount porn was about the best gift he could ask for.
“Now hurry up hot stuff, show me some cake.”
"It's weird seein' another guy die. Even though you come back... I wish you'd be more careful."
He was checking himself over for scars- mostly out of habit. Little white reminders left behind by the more traumatic events. (Sometimes he has to wonder if its more of a mental scar than a physical one)
Nathan’s question pulls him from his search though, has him abandoning is abdomen to toss a wide eyed stare at the other.
“It’s weird havin’ someone remember that.” The statement sort of falls out before he can really grasp what it means to him. Discomfort, embarrassment- he’s actually sort of self conscious about Nathan seeing that.
There’s nothin hot about being a sidewalk pancake after a nasty tumble, but at least his other friends had the decency to forget about it (or act like it never happened).
“I was bein careful, it’s the fuckin’ builders, they didn’t set the brick right or somethin’ it totally wiggled and I-” He looks up at the distance he just crossed, a good 10 stories, and an attempt to impress Nathan with some stupid stunt.
Fingers run through his hair, dry and undamaged despite the carnage- looks like they managed to put Humpty together again.
“Yeah, sorry.” He mutters through the embarrassment. “Probably a good thing though~ give ya a taste of your own medicine!”
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