where u going

[beroplane]

yooooo

stop spending money on games! IT'S NEVER WORTH IT! You don't even get the final prize.

[vedurnan-archive]

[beroplane]

i miss my tumblr addiction

and i'm the type of person with multiple accounts on every diary/blogging platforms.

i really gotta keep a diary because i just completely embarassed myself by trauma dumping on my baby sister

I'm going back to therapy tomorrow. lots of things have changed.

i think when tumblr started, i was concerned about being seen (reblogs, likes, DMs) that i would start trying to police myself to a posting schedule, when to be vulnerable (like what time for less visibility), and keeping up with every fucking sociopolitical identities and issues.

and it was fucking fun at first! and the fun lasted for what seemed like forever. i can't even remember why i stopped logging in.

[beroplane]

everywhere i look

there is content with all the "signs" someone might be some type of neurodivergent. autistic or ADHD. of course i fit most of those signs. but i hate to self diagnose myself because my brain is a liar sometimes and i have accepted the possibility of being wrong in every situation in my life. it's hard to bring up self-diagnosing on such a public platform because there's lonely people out there who take up the burden of being The One Everything Happens To Always and how dare you have issues with something that i personally did!

i want to say that social media is a mistake but it's just not true. i think we are just not meant to listen to a hundred million voices at the same time because it drives us crazy.

[beroplane]

i remembered the password to my tumblr and put it in my phone

guess ill be tumbling on my phone now

[beroplane]

oh girl

the moment i stopped writing about my life on tumblr the more i got depressed. i've favored writing dumb tweets over really going over my anxieties, insecurities, and fears. that's bad for the world imo if we're all not writing in our journals.

so many things have changed in my life but I'm just hurtling through time and space without even taking a break to truly feel what i am feeling.

i can at least say that i still have a support system and a bit of love in my life. there were people who knew me irl who think i'm so "strong" because i can handle my business. sometimes it feels like an insult though. or an excuse to just leave me alone lol. but whatever. i don't really like having to spend time to think about how that devastates me in a real way, i'd rather just walk away from that wreck and pick up the pieces by myself. call it avoidant if you'd like. it is what it is.

i could put forth a confrontation or a "can we talk" situation but in my head i've already calculated how that gamble will pay off. and most of the time i err on the side of failure or even more grief on my part so it it might never happen. i guess that also means my trust issues are real lol.

also being poor IS expensive. ive thought about a second gig but i value my personal time so much that i cant even conceive of it. i sometimes think that if i had some real money i'd put myself out there more (volunteering, part time gig).... but smoking a couple of bowls after work is comforting.

existentially i'm in a state of disarray, and I have been for the past 2-3 years so yeah, i crave my comfort. that's my hidey hole rental and all the streaming services. food i make for myself. bed to sleep in. room to live in. 2-3 years of being poor really made me more of an indoor kid and just terribly insecure about so many fucking things.

what are ya gonna do i guess

[inkflowergarden]

Staying open to new possibilities.

[classic-shoujo]

Setsuko Tamura

[revlovejoy]

other fascinating stories about asian pacific americans that can be turned into netflix series or movies

1. delano manongs like larry itliong

2. filipino mobile DJ scene in the 90s

3. japanese resistance in internment camps

4. an action disaster movie set in 1906 earthquake in san francisco with a focus on chinatown

 5. true detective season 1 style series on the KKK vs vietnamese fishermen in louisiana

6. the asian american movement in the 1960s and 1970s to energize and mobilize today’s asian pacific american youth

7. anthology series of mixed race APAs

8. overthrow and counterrevolution of hawaii monarchy in the mid 1890s

9. this is personal, but a movie about my old high school which is only 7% white and have an ethnic studies curriculum can be used as a setting for something like freaks and geeks

10. post 9/11 life for asian muslims in america

etc etc etc

[beroplane]

Too ahead of my time perhaps

[beroplane]

i’m waiting hollywood

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[ruinikaidoexplodedbadly]

[dailyrothko]

[dailyrothko]

Mark Rothko, No. 16, 1961, Oil on canvas

© Kate Rothko Prizel and Christopher Rothko_DACS 2018

[kummatty]

What Resulted When a Photographer Gave Rural Children Cameras

Twenty years before the term “socially engaged art” entered the lexicon, Wendy Ewald realized that, when she gave cameras to children, they

[kummatty]

“My little sister is praying,” Mounia Betioui, Morocco, 1995.

“Here is my cousin, Miry, with the skulls and fruit for the Day of the Dead,” Juan Jesús Murillo, Mexico, 1991. 

“My lame cousin-brother is dressed like saint Sadhu Hari,” Kalu Rupsingh, India, 1989-90. 

“The chickens run behind my mother,” Carlos Andrés Villaneuva, Colombia, 1982-85.

[cinematv]

The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner

“And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.”

[guerrillatech]

[tall]

This is camp idc

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Hot take of the day: a worrying number of leftists are actually just Evangelical Christians with the serial numbers filed off

The world is sinful a capitalist hellscape but we just have to wait until the Second Coming the Revolution happens when everything will be magically fixed. Any attempt to make actual progress makes you a lukewarm Christian liberal anything less than the Apocalypse the Revolution (which we are forever waiting for btw) is completely useless . Also consuming certain media or makin certain lifestyle choices is sinful and unchristian bad praxis.

[beroplane]

This is it