The Berry Path

Learning, growing, and flourishing in submission.

[berrypath]

Do you ever just get all dreamy watching your Dom/me just...exist? Like... I can listen to my Daddy tell a story about what He's doing at work and be just as starry eyed as if He was talking about D/s things. Or yesterday when He was teaching the baby subbies... I was distracted just sitting there with hearts in my eyes.

I just adore Him.

[berrypath]

When you choose it, when it's yours...a cage can feel safe, instead of restrictive.

[berrypath]

is silence, submission?

Our journaling club had a prompt this week that has been on my mind.

"Some submissives feel that expressing needs or speaking up somehow conflicts with their submission. Do you relate to this?"

Personally... this feels like the opposite of my submission.

Honesty and openness are integral in our dynamic. I learned that fast--even before I was officially collared. My Daddy wants to know what I'm thinking and feeling, not what I think He wants to hear. If I'm not honest...how is He supposed to know what I need? How would He know what is bothering me, or when I need His comfort?

A strong dynamic can build the connection, making it feel like we're reading each other's minds... but when it comes to conflicted feelings, or concerns, we can't wait around for the other person to magically understand. Instead, we work hard to share our thoughts with each other. We listen to each other and create a safe space to speak freely.

I don't need to be afraid to share my deepest, most vulnerable thoughts and feelings with my Daddy. He welcomes all of them as part of my submission and surrender to Him.

[thedarkheatperspective]

The approach

So, you want a sub.

I’m not talking about kinky sex. You can find that in five minutes in Second Life. I’m talking to the Dom/me who is actually looking for a power exchange dynamic…something that lasts.

Here are the things I see constantly that do not work.

Messaging someone and immediately giving an order. “Hi, I see you’re a sub. Come kneel.” That’s not dominance… that’s just throwing a line out and seeing who bites.

If you want quick, casual kink, say that. There’s nothing wrong with it. Just don’t pretend it’s something deeper.

Walking up and asking to collar someone right away. You don’t even know who you’re talking to yet. Slow down.

Getting frustrated because they’re not using the right tone or obeying you. You haven’t earned that kind of authority yet.

Not reading profiles. Messaging people who are already owned, already committed, or clearly not looking.

And no… the Domme across the room is not secretly waiting for you. If you’re not there to kneel, leave her alone. She deserves the same respect you’re asking for.

Respect is earned. Being chosen as someone’s Dominant is earned. You don’t get there by being loud, demanding, or trying to prove how strict you are. You get there by being someone worth following.

Everything starts with connection. If you were looking for a wife, you wouldn’t throw a ring at a stranger and tell her she’s yours now. So why would you expect a submissive to trust you enough to hand over control within an hour?

Start simple. IM them and say hi. Make a joke. Flirt a little. Have a normal conversation. Tell them who you are and what you’re looking for. Ask about them and actually listen.

It sounds basic, but if you do it, you already have more game than most of the “Dominants” out there.

Don’t rush to get them into your dungeon. Don’t rush to collar them. Take the time to learn who they are. You cannot lead someone properly if you don’t understand them first.

Where are they in their journey? What do they want? What do they avoid? What worked for them before? What didn’t? Do your personalities even fit? Do you want the same kind of dynamic?

Let something build instead of trying to force it.

Yes, patience is hard. I struggle with it too. But a real D/s relationship requires it.

Don’t just tell someone why they should trust you. Give them a reason to. Make them feel comfortable. Make them want to spend time with you. That’s how you build something real.

And if it turns out you’re not a match, that’s fine. You still had a solid interaction. Maybe you made a friend. And sometimes, that friend is the one who introduces you to the right person.

Come to DarkHeat Manor and make some friends, take some classes - unless you're the type above, try a free sex sim instead.

[the-dominant-script]

If he is the one, he won’t punish you with silence when he’s upset. He’ll talk to you, even when it’s uncomfortable. Remember that.

[naughty-lady-v6]

[berrypath]

The Story Thus Far

Hi! Let's start with the basics. My name is Mae Berry. I'm a submissive in a committed D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship. I'm married, IRL, and in a poly relationship. My husband is totally aware of everything I'm up to online and very supportive of what I've been learning, which I am so grateful for!

My SL Dom, Seek Hyde, has been in the lifestyle for about 20 years, while I'm relatively new, and this is my first serious dynamic. I also have a sub-sister, Bella, who has known Daddy for a lot longer than me.

We met in SecondLife, on a sim called DarkHeat, which He owns and runs. It's a little bit of everything--school, club, hangout, community... There's more about that in the /dh page on my blog, if you're interested.

I started out as a student in the White Silks program. It's a course for new submissives... about boundaries, negotiation, self awareness, communication... all the parts of the D/s Lifestyle that don't get talked about as much because it takes real work. I made some really wonderful friends, and learned a lot about myself and about what a healthy dynamic can actually look and feel like when it's done right.

I also learned to exercise patience. I had a crush on my Daddy from the day we met, but I kept quiet for a few weeks before I admitted anything, and even then we both were in agreement that nothing could come of it while I was a student. I needed to focus on learning and growing... for myself, not for anyone else. It was hard to let that craving sit, when it felt so natural to me. But in the end... the waiting was always worth it. We've been building something... first a friendship, then a romance, now a collared bond.

So. I was collared 3/21/26. That means I've only really been in this for a bit over a month. I've been learning all 7 months that I've been in SL, but this is a little different... finally digging into the type of power exchange dynamic I've been craving for longer than I've had the words to describe it.

And since I'm a mentor and teacher at DarkHeat... and I have quite a lot of thoughts to share... Daddy thought it might be interesting for me to keep this blog as a record of my journey, and a way to share and connect with others.

Please, feel free to reach out with questions about me, what I've been learning, requests for advice, or to share advice of your own. I'd love to hear from Y/you all.