The world doesn't owe you anything;

evan larson twentyfive | beta

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

Ozzie swallowed hard as he heard the other ask for clarity on some facts, which made him swallow the lump in his chest.  Perhaps now was the best time to just… let it all out.  “I’ll forgive you, but you have to listen to the whole story first.  I don’t want you thinking you should forgive me after everything.”  And so, from there, Ozzie began to tell the story.  “The hunters caught me 3 days before your family’s thing.  They were trying to find bigger game than some small fry omega wolf, even though I was the hit because of my father, apparently.  That’s what they told me but I don’t know if I believe them.  Either way, after three days of them cutting me, beating me, shocking me, I finally gave in and told them that a wolf family always hit up the park on the corner of 7th and Church.  It was intentionally the one further away from your house so I thought your family would be safe, but when we went there they found the three of them walking down the trails.  I won’t go into details on everything next, because it’s a bit graphic and I already relive them almost every night, but basically they made me watch as they killed your family and if I had said a word during well, the deaths would have been more drawn out than they were.  So I bit my tongue and watched, and then afterwards begged the hunters to kill me too because I didn’t want to live with the guilt, but they told me It’d be more fun to leave me alive to suffer.”  He surprisingly was able to get that all out in a more clam voice than he thought he would, but he was still shaking and couldn’t really meet Evan’s eyes until it was all done.  “So if you can forgive me for that, which I don’t know why you would because it was still my fault anyways, then I’ll forgive you for anything.”

"You don't need to, I don't -- I don't need to hear them"  he didn't need details, he had dealt with the aftermath, that had been enough for him. That had been enough for his entire lifetime. Look where they where because of it.  He let himself inhale again,  slowly.  Leaning his forehead against Ozzie's now, "And after all of that, that's what you wanted -- you wanted me to kill you because of those sick fucks" he didn't want his voice to raise, but it had anyways.  "I could of been going after them, instead of you this whole time.  All of this for what?" he was asking more himself than anything now, because if he sorted his thoughts through this whole thing, Ozzie had had been stuck through the whole thing. Literally tortured through it, and he now finding out about it.  "You didn't have a choice. And I.. "his breathing was uneven now, but he didn't pull away. At this point he couldn't, the other suddenly had this hold on him and if he did, he'd fall apart in probably the worst kind of way. "You don't know why I could? Because none of this even makes sense anymore and you know it!" he's meeting his gaze again, "I'm not moving away from you till you at least say your going to fucking try and forgive yourself. If I can stand here and touch you, or even let you .. then you're going to say you can try. Do you hear me?"

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

The words nearly did the opposite on Ozzie’s body, as he felt the growing sob inside his chest attempting to burst out.  The omega did his best to keep that part of him inside though as he simply wrapped his arms so tightly around Evan’s body that he wasn’t planning on coming loose any time soon.  He couldn’t fathom the idea of letting go right now, because the one thing that he didn’t expect to happen seemed within his grasps.  His eyes blinked rapidly as he tried to hold back the tears, a few still making his way out of his eyes and dripping down onto Evan’s shoulder and neck.  “I’m so sorry, Evan.”  He choked out, unable to hold it completely back as he felt the need to pull away.  He’d put too much on Evan right now, especially considering he was still trying to get the blond to finish him off.  He didn’t know if he should continue talking, or if he should just stay silent and enjoy the scent and embrace of his once lover turned enemy.  If he could simply stay here for a little while longer, and enjoy the warmth he never allowed himself to have anymore in the form of an embrace of care, then maybe he’d be able to recompose himself back into the stoic, emotionless boy he usually was.  But if he could stay like this for a few more seconds… that’s all he needed to do.  Just stay there, holding his friend, letting himself feel… normal for a moment.  

If his grip could get more tighter around the other, it would.  He's inhaling the other because it's the only thing keeping him calm through his whole thing.  Even if he's struggling hard, because up until now -- touching, was off limits. It always had been honestly, ever since losing his family he had shut down, emotionally.  Every core memory of his life, shoved in the back of his mind, ignored.  But with the normalcy of this hug it seemed to quiet every single thing he had been struggling with up until this very moment.  Groaning out quietly,  he kept the other close loosening his arms around him his hand moving to the side of his face . "You did what was right at the time Ozzie, and if you had, fuck if you had told me" he feels disgusted with himself. It was beginning to eat at him from the inside out, almost instantly.  "You didn't have a choice you just said that. They had you tied up?" it made him sick, repeating everything back to himself.  He had been on this never ending wolf hunt, for honestly no reason. He had been hunting down the wrong, person.  The wrong thing. He laughs now, but it's bitter.  And not because this thing is funny, it's far from it. If anything it's so much fucked up than he could have imagined. " If I say I forgive you" the words fall before he can stop himself, because he doesn't think he could listen to him cry anymore, "Will you forgive me?" he's leaning in now, both hands cupping the sides of his face to get the other to look at him again.

[fandomsunite1974]

[rlyprettyarchived]

just feel something.

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

That was it.  That was the speech he’d rehearsed over and over again to make sure it came out flawlessly.  He needed Evan to believe him, to end everything once that had come out, because Ozzie knew he couldn’t do much after that was said and done.  It had been his Hale Mary play, and it backfired.  He watched as Evan got angrier, but not for the reasons he anticipated.  He wasn’t mad at Ozzie for what had happened, or for the words that he’d said.  No, he was angry because he’d seen through Ozzie’s deceptive words and pegged him for a liar, which was the only unfavorable outcome of this entire situation.  He thought for a moment he’d be able to recover his composure and sell the point again, but before he even could full balance himself after the shove away, Evan was right back there, standing right in his face.  It caused his breathing to hitch, and in that snap moment that his body was relaxed, Evan’s hands had slid to cup his face.  It wasn’t a rough grab either, which was what broke Ozzie.  He could feel the almost tenderness in Evan’s grasp as his eyes widened to stare at his old friend.  The facade he wore had been shattered, and the best glimpse at his broken soul shined through the wide, wet eyes that glistened in the evening sky.  A light sob left his throat as his chest wound tightly into a million and one different variations of knots.  “I didn’t mean for it to happen…”  He choked out, having to swallow hard as the words forced their way through the lump in his throat.  “I didn’t even know your parents were going to be at that park… they shouldn’t have been.  But they were, and the hunters didn’t care, and I watched them die while I was tied up like some dog on a leash who couldn’t do anything…”  Another sob left his throat as he desperately tried to keep himself together but to no avail.  

He watched the facade drop like it had never been there.  It hadn't, Evan had seen right through it.  He wasn't sure how he had, but maybe it was due to his own fucked up things he had endured over the past couple days, that had him a little more self aware of everything.  Besides it fucking up with his head, it seemed to draw out something else entirely. Especially right now with Ozzie. He wanted to be pleased with himself, that it had worked. The hands to his face. He still had that affect, though he knew it hadn't really gone anywhere, not even now.  Not even with how far they had been separated.  Even as the truth finally fell from the other's lips, it didn't help how tight his chest got, and how hard it was to breath.  He didn't move though, he didn't remove his hands as he stared back at the other. He couldn't let go now. And it didn't help that Ozzie was suddenly crying against him. He didn't even know what to do, but he instantly felt the weight of the other on him and it pulled something really deep out of him. He wasn't even sure what he was doing anymore.  But, he needed to do something.  If not for the other, well more of him but for him too.  Letting his hands slide from his face, he took a deep breath and he pulled the other close, his arms moving around him, tightly. And then he was hugging him,  no words could honestly fall from his mouth right now.  He just, hugged him tightly against his chest.  As if he let go, Ozzie would fall, and he didn't think he could handle that right now. He pulled him more to him, "Please, please, don't cry" he wanted to beg because he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing, and then hearing him cry right now.  Because it made things feel so much worse within himself, because.. because if this was the honest to god truth, then this whole.. thing, had never needed to happen, and Evan didn't know, if could handle that. Actually, he didn't think he could at all.

[betaitsevan-blog]

amor-bryant:

“I’m coming in. Don’t laugh.” He warned, waiting until Evan was inside the sauna before he felt comfortable enough to take off his leggings and, subsequently, his fake leg. He grabbed a pair of crutches he kept by the wall, hobbing inside with grace before he closed the door and turned to face Evan. “Alright. What did you do?” The omega asked, sitting down next to the blonde with a grunt. “And give me the details. No holding back.”

“Why would I laugh?” and then he’s looking at him, before slowly meeting his gaze, “You go in with that, and then wonder what I did?” he leans forward slightly, before running his hand through his hair.  The hot air already beginning to relax all his tight mussels, “If you don’t fucking hate me already Amor, you’re going to in a couple minutes” he pre-warned, sighing to himself. He then leaned back, letting his arms run along behind him, “You first” he says now, looking back at his leg, “Why do you think I’d laugh at that? I can be a heartless bastard, but I’m not that fucked up” 

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

Ozzie’s face quickly shifted back to his normal stoic personality when he saw Evan begin to freak out.  He figured it was because for the briefest of seconds he felt comfortable again, like he was just talking with his best friend about the deep dark bullshits that had been going on in his mind.  Evan had always been the person he’d talk to about the hard things.  He was the only one he’d told about how his father had banished him from the pack when he was 10, and how he’d had to jump around between foster families just to stay alive, doing whatever the host had asked of him as a payment for their “good deeds”.  Evan knew how fucked up his life had been before, and how things had finally started getting good the last year he had known Ev before the attack.  Ozzie straightened up his body into a more formal look, his face deadpan and serious as he thought of his next words.  His goal was to make Evan kill him after all.  He needed to throw some harder punches, even if they were utter lies.  “I wanted your family dead.”  He said, the words a complete farce as he continued on his lying game.  “I wanted them out of the picture so we could have been together, run away and never look back.  I was jealous they got to spend as much time with you that I couldn’t, because I had to keep going back to that foster home every night while you had your own family.  So I set things up.  I told the hunters where your family would be that night and told them to not hurt you.  It was just luck that you didn’t show with them, and I didn’t want you to know it was me because if you did, you’d treat me like this.  This is why I want you to kill me, because my plan backfired and I need you to make me feel better.  I’m a selfish asshole who ruined your life, fucked you up this badly, and made you into what you are.  You would have been such a perfect boy if I hadn’t rolled into your life.”  Behind the facade, even Ozzie was breaking down from how much of a lie that was.  Yes, he would have liked to run away with Evan, but Ozzie loved Evan’s family as much as he did him.  They treated him like a son, a family member.  He was welcomed with open arms whenever he was around, and being forced to watch the people who had treated him better than any ever had killed in front of him had been the snapping moment in his mind.  It was what brought him to this moment.  He needed to whatever he could to take care of Evan, even if it was bearing all the guilt, shame, and regret on his shoulders so Evan could walk free.  That was his goal.  “And I watched them die.”  

This wasn’t where he thought the conversation was going. For a moment, he thought things where actually going to go into a completely different direction. But the more he talked, the more he got angry again. “I need to make you feel better?”his voice rises again, “Shut up. I don’t want to hear any of this.  Because I look at you, and you go on about all of this.  How you hoped I wouldn’t be there , how you set it up that I wouldn’t be hurt.  How you promised I wouldn’t be hurt.  But, you can’t fucking say that Ozzie, and then let all of that happen.  Let my family die if you didn’t want me hurt! So stop fucking lying!” he let go of his wrist, shoving him away.  All the words replaying in his mind from what he had just said.  Every single word, and sentence, fucking up his mind even more than it already was. He looks back at him, “I don’t believe you” he finally says, “If you cared about me, like you say you do.  Then my family wouldn’t of mattered, and none of this would of needed to happen. So you hear me right?” he’s back near him again, “I don’t fucking believe you.  I know your fucked up, we’re both fucked up.  But I know when you’re lying, and you’re lying right to my face right now. So, lying to me isn’t going to give you what you want.  Lying to me isn’t going to help me make you feel better” his features fall, as he closes the space between them, he’s not really thinking about what he’s doing now.  But Evan never really thinks correctly when he’s around the other.  Both hands move to the side of his face, holding him still, “Tell me the truth” he’s holding him still, so he can’t look anywhere but at him. “You take way to much credit Oizzie,  I think either way my life would of gotten fucked up some way or another and I’d still be here, fucking things up for everyone else in my life” his tone his low quiet.  But he doesn’t let go of the other, because he needs to hear it.  He needs to hear some sort of truth. 

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

Ozzie had thought he had outrun the beta’s movements having been able to get a decent head start on the male, but soon enough he was captured and forced to look at Evan all over again.  The hurt on his face, the shimmer of hatred in his eyes that Ozzie knew oh-so well caused his usually stoic face to falter into one of slight concern.  The one thing he had been trying to do was make Evan feel better.  All this time, he’d been trying to find a way to make amends for telling the hunters to go to the park when Evan’s family happened to be there instead of his own.  He’d never forgive himself for that, and the only saving grace of that was Evan hadn’t been with them when it happened or else he’d have lost his best friend in the process.  He knew he couldn’t have actually lived with himself if that had happened, which was why he’d tried to do everything he could to force Evan to kill him out of revenge than anything else.  “I did fuck you up.”  He said rather calmly, though it didn’t have the bluntness to it that his normal tone did.  He was more at peace with what he was saying.  “I ruined you.  I destroyed your life.  I’m the worst piece of shit to ever walk this earth.  The only reason I haven’t offed myself is because I want someone to at least get the satisfaction of ending me so I can know at least one part of my life had some meaning to it.  Is that what you were looking for Evan?”  He asked, his eyes blinking as he felt the soft shimmer of tears begin to form in them.  “I don’t care if I ever touch you again.  I’m just proving a point of I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep you alive and safe to the best of my abilities, even if it means going against what you want.  Because if you had been at the park with your parents the night that happened I absolutely don’t think I’d be here right now.  I’d have been in the nearest riverbank.”

“Then i’m equally the worse piece of shit. Especially for what I did, and you can say that, and it won’t change my mind and it wont make me end you’re life right now.  You can touch my face again, and you’re not going to get what you want!” he caught sight of the tears almost instantly, “Stop, stop, just stop!” his tone loud, maybe louder than he expected it to be.  But he couldn’t undo the words that left his mouth, he couldn’t block them out, or shoved them so far down in his mind and ignored them.  Even if he so wanted to. “Why do you do you this? What do you go from literally wanting me to stab you and meant it, to telling me this? Why do you do this?” the words took a few moments to register, and when they did, it was like a stab to his chest, “What does that mean Ozzie? If I had been at the park that night?” he wasn’t sure if he remembered this side of the story or understood what he was trying to say. His hand is loosening it’s grip, as he lets his arm fall to his side completely, “I don’t want it, “ he’s shaking his head again, “I don’t need you to do whatever you need to, to keep me safe, alive. Even if it’s like this -- “ he’s grabbing him now,  his hands moving to his shoulders, and he’s shoving him backwards, till he reaches a trunk of a tree. He shoves him hard against it, “ I don’t want to be here, do you understand that? You go around, begging me to kill you every single moment of your life since they died, and I’m right here -- trying to fuck it all up just as much because I don’t want to be happy” he’s staring at him, so he could see any sort of vulnerability from himself, “Do you not see that? I know you see my face, you just popped my nose back.  A guy, I fucked and didn’t even care about, and still have no remorse about, friend found me tonight and punched me out. And I wanted him to keep going, no I made him continue. And then I fucking woke up” he’s still holding onto the other, his weigh suddenly leaning onto the other, “Do I have to keep doing what I am to you, for you get that?” it wasn’t a one shit show, it never had been. Evan just hadn’t gotten in Ozzie’s face, to express that yet.  There had been so much separation since they both ended up here. 

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

The pop would have made any normal person cringe from the pure disgustingness of it all, especially since when it popped, Ozzie was sure a blood clot came shooting out of his nose.  That didn’t bother him though.  He’d seen much worse all those nights ago as he was brought along to watch.  “It was going to hurt no matter what.  Glad you can now associate that with me too.”  He said, casually shrugging as he felt Evan grab his wrist and apply pressure to it.  The question was stupid and redundant in Ozzie’s mind, but part of him wondered if this was just Evan’s attempt to keep testing him, to keep checking his resolve to see if it would falter.  “You did, and I asked you what were you going to do about it?”  He retorted, not trying to touch the other’s face again even if his fingertips wanted to so badly.  “You’ll stab me again and drop me off on your doctor friend’s doorstep so I can be saved?  You’ll choke me, punch me, hurt me?  Because those all sound like dreams come true at this point.”  Ozzie’s voice got a bit stronger the longer he spoke.  It was odd, because for brief seconds, emotions were flashing through.  “I’ll touch your face whenever I damn well please considering I’m trying to provoke you to just ending me as soon as possible so I don’t have to deal with the flashbacks of being forced to watch, or the guilt of knowing that this was all my fault and if I hadn’t just kept my fucking mouth shut I’d have died instead rather than be ‘spared’ as they so fucking deemed it even tho I had begged them to put a bullet in my own head.”  The words came out faster than he had thought they would, and he blinked at them.  “I have to go.”  He twisted his hand out of the other’s wrist and stood up before beginning to walk away, the whiskey having affected him a bit too much.  Problems of not having eaten in almost two days at this point.  Oh well, he wasn’t about ready to confess things to Evan right now when he’d rather take them to his grave because the point didn’t change with those things in play.

"I'm going to associate everything painful in my life with you no matter" he mocks back, as he puelled his hand free from his grip.  Was he serious?  He was walking away, after going on such a tangent. Evan was surprised he had caught up with the small ache in his nose, and head.  Or maybe just everywhere was achy, it had been a long night.  "You're fucking kidding me right" he got up a little to fast, his body swaying slightly, "Fuck" his tone quiet, as he runs a hand through his hair, while steadying himself.  He hadn't drank that much, but obviously alcohol mixed with this pain, wasn't a good mix.  But he ignored it the moment Ozzie got out of sight.  He moved after him, not taking long before he grabbing at his arm again and tugged him back, "You don't get to go off like that and just fuck off.  We all know that you're in this self loathing never ending fuck show.  But I got hit like this today because I fucked up. Do you hear me? I did something so fucked up, that I actually feel so fucking guilty about it." he laugh is bitter now, as he looks at Ozzie, "Touching me right now, is not going to get me to kill you right now. So you can keep dream about it some other time. Because right now" he steps closer, "I did something wrong, this my whole face being knocked out cold was what I deserved" his grip tightening even more on him, so he couldn't pull away again, "But you should get the satisfactions out of it right? Because it's your fault I wont let anyone touch me, and it's your fault what I did, right? You fucked me up real good Ozzie” He pulls him close now, their bodies practically touching, "Make you feel so good inside, that you did this to me?"

[betaitsevan-blog]

charlie-santiago:

“Wait, what?” But there was a sinking feeling in Charlie’s stomach now. Jason had been the only one he told about what happened. Jason who’d been more mad than he’d ever seen him even though he was still in control of it. Jason who’d always been so kind to him, Jason who Charlie never would’ve thought possible of doing something like this. And Charlie doesn’t want it to be true, he shook his head before Evan could say anymore. “No,” he said, but that doesn’t stop Evan from going on. “Okay, yeah, you fucked up. But you’re admitting it! And you…  I found you and you were like… It just wasn’t… It wasn’t that simple, Evan, it never is. And I… I didn’t tell him to do that, I swear to God I didn’t. I don’t even… I accidentally let your first name slip.” That must’ve been how he figured out the rest. Jason talked a big game of not being that smart, but this proved otherwise. “He just… We got to talking during the late morning after, and it all just came tumbling out because it was so fresh. And he’s the only one I told.” As if that would fix Evan’s face. As if he needed to feel worse about this than he clearly already did. 

“Okay, you’re right. I don’t deserve that, and now I know. I’d rather it have happened with you than anyone else. Now I can… I can stand up for myself because I know that it’s not right, and you know it’s not right, and it’s not gonna happen again like that. Because we know better. You’ve apologized, we can move on. I didn’t decide that you’re going to be my friend with the notion that it was going to be easy. I don’t care about it being easy, Evan. I care about you. And I think you care about me too.” And they’re really doing this, they’re having this huge life discussion in the middle of a freaking store. “Okay? No! No, Evan, it’s not okay. I’m not just gonna let you push me away over one mistake. Mistakes happen every day. Do you think I’ve never accidentally hurt someone? You weren’t… You weren’t thinking. Emotions were high, and no one knows what it was really like besides you and me. So no. I’m not letting you make this decision for me. I consider you my friend, and you don’t get to… You just don’t, okay? You punish yourself so much as it is, you don’t need anyone else punishing you. You don’t get to save my life just to walk out of it.” 

“I’m fucking admitting it, so you can hear it out loud, because obviously your’re not getting it” he sighs again, “Fucking hell charlie, just stop. We’re not going to do this anymore. I just said, to end it. And I wont say it again” he was such a stubborn ass. But Evan was just as much as one as he was. And he was going to get him to drop it, and he was going to end this.  Jaw tight, as he glares at him, "I want to fucking drop this right now" he adds, firmly still looking at the other. "There is no fucking justification for what I did to you. And I might be admitting, but I'm admitting it to you only so you can see that" 

His laugh his bitter, "You don't, you deserve someone who's going to do exactly what Jason did for you.  That's who you deserve.  You don't need me in your life Charlie.  You know you don't, you're just blinded by your need to be the good person all the time, to be friendly to everyone.  Well I don't need it, and I don't need you" he wasn't sure how many other ways he could say, how he could get his point across.  He needed him to understand, that he was not good for him, and he never would.  Charlie wasn't going to change him, he wasn't going to just change tomorrow morning and be a different person.  This was who he was.  He shakes his head, "I already told you in the bathroom when we where together" he's moving closer to Charlie now, stopping right in front of him, "That it was nothing but physical for me. And that's all it was Charlie, you where a good fuck" he regretted saying it the moment the words fell from his mouth, but he needed to get his point across.  He needed Charlie to know, that he did not need him in his life. "You understand now?" he asks, meeting his gaze, hard.

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

Ozzie thought instantly that the reason he was being asked to fix Evan’s nose was because it would hurt, and then he could associate more pain with Ozzie’s face.  He was okay with that, because in the end any amount of things he’d have to do to get Evan to the point of feeling better was what he’d sacrifice for his old friend.  “Okay.”  Was all Ozzie said as he reached up and cupped Evan’s face in his hands to force the boy to look at him.  This would hurt seeing how bruised and bent Evan’s nose had gotten, and hopefully the healing process hadn’t kicked in too much that he’d need to rebreak and then set Evan’s nose properly.  It still looked relatively malleable though from a quick touch he made just now, so that wouldn’t be too bad.  “Alright, on the count of three I’m going to set it.  One.” He didn’t even wait for three.  Ozzie’s thumbs quickly came up and snapped Evan’s nose back into place so quickly he hoped it didn’t shock the boy into passing out.  Once that was done, his thumbs moved to stay on Evan’s cheeks, unintentionally caressing his skin while looking over his nose.  “There.  All set.”

He groaned quietly against his fingers.  Not sure what was getting to him worse, the pressure in his nose or his fingers back on his face.  But either way, he allowed him to tilt his head despite his better judgment, looking at him as he began to count.  He knew right as he said one that he wasn't going to count to three. He heard the pop first, and then felt as the pain settled on his face again, "Fuck" he groaned out again, leaning forward only slightly, "I know I deserved this, but holy shit" he almost caught himself leaning into the touch, only by reacting to how bad it had hurt.  The aching pain was subsiding, and he wanted to thank him for that. but he had no intentions to. He owed him, and it was like a quiet agreement between the two. He grabbed his wrist again, pulling it from his face, “Didn’t I already tell you not to touch me? ” He wasn’t sure what he was playing at with this one,  or maybe it was a different antic all together to get him angry, and maybe it was working. 

[betaitsevan-blog]

[betaitsevan-blog]

omozzie:

“What are you gonna do, stab me again?” Ozzie retorted back as the other seemed irritated with the touching, but it wasn’t like Ozzie would get a consequence he didn’t want already, so there was no need for him to stop.  His fingers touched over the other’s cheek, just under his eye and just outside of his nose so he wouldn’t actually give the male any physical pain just yet.  He knew he’d have to reset the nose or it’d probably heal crooked, and Evan tried but it looks like he hadn’t touched it much.  “You’re not going to die, thankfully, but you need to get that nose checked out.  It’s going to heal crooked and you’re going to lose half your good looks by having a fucked up face.”  He said with the lightest hints of a tease in his voice, the broken remnants of his old, playful self flickering to life in their shattered state of being.  It wasn’t until the conversation shifted that the flickers became doused in a drowning flood of self-hate once again.  Ozzie’s fingers fell from Evan’s cheek and he shrugged, wanting to curl into a ball as he thought about this on pure reflex.  “It makes me feel better knowing you’re getting some sort of satisfaction and joy out of watching me suffer.  You deserve that much from me, Evie.”  The old nickname slipped out ever so casually, and Ozzie did nothing to try and take it back.  “I don’t fight back because I have nothing to fight you on.  You want to hurt me.  I want to be hurt.  I deserve to be hurt for what happened to your family.  Me fighting back would be like me trying to say what happened wasn’t my fault.”  

He winced out quietly again, "It hurts like fuck Ozzie" he admits, "So, you're just going to help me with that" he grabs his hand, "Put it back in place" and he doesn't really ask, does he really need to?  He doubted he was going to just let him sit there with his nose out of place.  Even if the two of them where on this self destructive, self loathing war path, he knew that Ozzie would help him.  It was how he worked, despite everything that was going on. He caught the teasing tone, and for like a second things felt normal. A word he didn't remember, nor did he want to be reminded of.  He forced himself forget about things for a reason, shoved them far back into his memory, because he had no room for them now.  "You know that sounds even more fucked up when you sayit out loud?" his tone is actually quiet, as he says it. But at the mention of both his old nick name and his family in one sentence, his fingers instantly tighten around his wrist, "No, " he grabs at his wrist, tugging him close to him, "Just fix my fucking nose Ozzie, please” he didn’t care how bad it was going to hurt, because he knew it would. But he deserved it, and actually wanted to feel it all while he popped it back into place. 

[betaitsevan-blog]

He had had no intentions of telling him. None. He had wanted to keep it to himself, without giving more for Charlie to worry about. But honestly, he was standing here trying to tell him he was not his friend, and maybe this would end in his favor and push the other away for good, "See no" he turns to look at him, "He had every reason to do this, you know why? Because he was being a good friend, he was protecting you. What fucking friends are suppose to do Charlie. And even though I don't want to see it, I see it. I see how friends are suppose to work, and what their suppose to do for each other" he lowers his voice, "and what I did to you, was not on a friend level, you know that and I fucking know that. Why the fuck did you think I left you the next morning?" Jaw tight as he's stating at him, waiting for any reaction from him, not wanting to miss him catching on, "Jason did this to my face, and for once in my life I let him. Because I deserved it. So no, I am not going to fight back when I know for once in my damned life that I fucked up"

He backs up now, shaking his head again. He knew Charlie, he knew what he was going to try and do; or say and he wanted to put an end to this right now, "Some things? That's how you your wording it?" He's sighs, "not in your world Charlie, you don't deserve that nor do you get to have those 'some things' happen to you. You don't deserve that, and you do not and I will not repeat it again" his tone of voice firm as he looks at him, trying to hold his gaze, "Need me as a friend. Do you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying right now? Because I mean it. You can try Charlie, I know your stubborn as fuck. But it's not going to happen okay?" His voice raises a little bit despite being in the store, and maybe he wanted to frighten him a little bit, "Okay?" Raised voice as tries to get through to him, "I don't want to be your friend" his voice void of any emotions, though that wasn't hard for him. But he wanted to get his point across, even if deep down it didn't feel completely right.

[betaitsevan-blog]

He sighs before shaking his head. "No.." Pushing off the door and moving over towards Sebastian, "Can you let that one go? That and this are to irrelevant things entirely" though, honestly, not really. But the other didn't need to know that. "You think I care about that?" He looks around, before moving to sit down, "Nah, that won't be necessary, just do it" he's looking at him again, hoping the other wasn't going to get into this right now. Or even asked how it happened. Because he was more than sure he wouldn't him the truth. The two of them had this weird understanding and he didn't want to fuck it up. "Alright come on" he was ready to get this over with.

[betaitsevan-blog]

He wanted to ask, but he decided against it. He shook his head, before allowing Amor to lead him towards the lockers. "Wouldn't you have anything in this place to yourself anyways since it's actually your place?" He muses out quietly. It doesn't take him long to strip his clothes off, not bothered by the fact that Amor could see anything. It honestly didn't faze him. He looked up before heading forwards where he had said the towels where at. Sliding the towel around his waist before tucking it in. He could feel the steam from the sauna before he even opened the door and moved inside. And holy shit, it instantly felt so good against his tense body. He knew this was going to be a distraction, and he knew in here he'd have a had time keeping himself completely closed off. Because sitting down, he groans out quietly running his his hair back, before letting his eyes fall on Amor.

[flawlessgentlemen]