do you think you could fall for a woman who had some or none of the qualites you’re attracted to
those weren’t my checklist, i just mentioned qualities i admired generally observing women in history or those around us in society and in our lives. my ideal version is never a romantic partner but more so if i was a woman myself or if i had a daughter those would be things i’d try to encourage. and i try to encourage that with the women around me in my life too be it elderly or children as well.
we are all always in motion and evolution so no one’s going to be eloquent all the time or courageous or whatever. these are just facets of ourselves we may respond with in moments. and even then it’s how others perceive it because no one knows what’s in the heart. like someone might come off being brave because it would make them look heroic rather than being the right thing to do. otherwise all of us are imperfect and stumbling in the dark through life.
i think when it comes to falling for someone it can be quite random as well and doesn’t need to make sense.
but falling for someone and choosing someone are separate things and it’s easier to respect and admire a person if they have certain facets that’s you personally appreciate. and that is important because you’d want to be chosen everytime. feelings fluctuate but allegiance and loyalty to a relationship is what’s real and factual. so you’d ideally want the foundation you lay to be as strong as possible. like if i fell for someone who was foul mouthed or pessimistic or with crippling self doubt and insecurities, in the long term that could be extremely exhausting especially if you see them not putting the effort to fix themselves. Not that it wouldn’t work, but then the upside to that relationship would have to somehow be more valuable.
but this just theoretical bs tbh. attraction and feelings are sometimes a strange thing. terrible people make it work and great people sometimes don’t. there’s no magic formula or ideal or perfect solution or person.
for me, i’d like to be with someone who i think is the most incredible person alive. but how does that statement uphold if your version of what’s incredible evolves as you grow older? maybe the love you have for them is what papers over objectivity. and what if you don’t find the single greatest person. or what if you do but they don’t think YOURE the single greatest person hahah. Then what?? And life doesn’t owe you any of that. so what are you even making of your life at that point?? some self imposed fantasy that is contradictory to a real and ever passing finite reality?? so i think it’s important to not overthink too much either.
and in Islam, the man is the shepherd of the family in the sense that he is even more responsible for them than they are towards him in God’s accounts. so am I choosing someone who would potentially be a good mother to my children. and it’s not just loving them but also raising them to be righteous and protecting them from even themselves and not spoiling them out of love. and then personally is this someone who i want to work away the rest of my life providing for. is this someone who would be able to step aside and trust me to follow my lead even if it might not make sense. and in my absence or death would they be able to carry on what we build or do right by my memory and rights?
but we don’t always get what we want in life haha and these are qualities i admire in people generally and people i am close with tend to have many of these. ideally my partner is my best friend. and ideally my partner worships God and not themselves or me or anything else and ideally we are together accompanying each other through life and dragging each other towards goodness and a sanctuary for each other.
but also ngl atp i see the allure of marrying someone attractive or wealthy or devoutly religious or whatever is most important to you in life because like it’s impossible to go about searching that through life. it’s literally destined for you or not. so while it’s a fun topic to talk about, it’s just a fantasy.
life is really about expressing yourself through the best possible decision in each moment and it’s circumstantial to your present. You just go for what you think is right and if you don’t like it you can always change that because that is also another decision to make in the future moment.
i am not someone to ask someone to change for me, but say if they are out of bounds of the things I prefer then it can be revisited once they are at a different place.
it might sound like a lot but also when you find your person i think all this just washes away and it’s possible because it’s like when you have a best friend you might never initially see this person being your best friend, they’re just another regular person but lo and behold suddenly your inseparable and growing together and making up for each others weaknesses etc and I think that’s not exclusive to romantic relationships but romantic relationships can be a subset of such relationships if you are fortunate enough.
Otherwise there are many other fulfilling things to do in your life like helping others, protecting and providing for the needy and oppressed etc.
I know you had a short question but this something on my mind lately as well and I think 99.99% of you are younger than me hahah so maybe someone reading might benefit from a perspective. but i would like to get married too at some point in the near future and kind of move on from this hypothesizing. maybe i can instead start talking about do’s and don’ts in a marriage or parenting hahaha i think I would enjoy that more because it would be new things to think about. this stuff is honestly boring now because i feel like i’m too aware or conscious and all i can do is talk about it and i hate talking. and i have spoken enough now already hahah.
and i am a difficult imperfect person with my own issues, even to myself. but God is the provider of all things and He is limitless in His Provisions and He provides what’s best for us and keeps us away from what is not for what we seek may not be in our own interest. May He make it easier upon all of us and guide us to making the best decisions and protect ourselves from evil (say Amen).
annaxmalina
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
discoholicmusic
areudirty
dailybridgerton
blakekathryn
