I have a bit of a fine line to tread, with this one. I think as this project has evolved, the value these posts bring to me, sits in my ability to return and reflect. Periodically step back in time to the moment of writing and feel again what I felt then.
At the start, the project was just about writing, just revelling in language using people as a muse, writing something about someone every day, uncritical expression in whatever form may manifest. It has become, in more recent times, such a resonant exercise, that I feel it is almost muddied by the thoughtless allocation of words in those early efforts. Still, they were true to moment, as the newer posts are.
Thusly then, how to proceed, in a complicated moment? How to reduce complexity to elegance, filter the noise from a perspective, and capture truths, but truths that will continue to resonate, in a story which is changing?
What a cryptic and self indulgent introduction.
I find myself in a moment after a goodbye, and I wish to capture my regard for the other party, as a true and honest time capsule for my feelings, but I dont wish to entangle that regard within messy temporary truths that I might at some moment leave behind, and look back on with embarrassment.
I spent, at irresponsible personal cost, a significant window of 2025, living in Jordan. My intention was to study Arabic, explore the region, and have experiences, good bad and messy, and find out what I could learn from them.
It turns out, when left to my own devices and without the need to work, I fill my boots with projects that fill my heart, commit myself to hobbies, and live as a peaceful ambivert with far less wanderlust than expected.
It was this whimsical version of myself, this bohemian testament to perseverance and curiosity, whose blessed circumstances included an encounter with the lovely Hala.
Hala's legacy in my life is first and foremost, the dangerous information that sometimes, you just know. From the instant I knew of her existence, I knew too that the writers had conspired of a narrative into which I would be drawn irresistably and immediately.
I knew that my actions would be counted. That I was setting a precedent of attentive good behaviour and presence, that I would want to look back on proudly. Intuition is a hell of a drug. Sometimes, you meet a person, and you just know. What on Earth am I meant to do with that knowledge?
Hala is a truly fascinating gestalt, a remarkable collection of qualities that would contradict internally were they not part of such a wonderful sum.
She carries in her bearing and being, a dignified intensity, which honestly and correctly broadcasts the strength of her mind and heart. The kind of strength that others can lean on and rely on.
She is elegant, graceful, poised. Feminine in an unhurried and authentic manner as if she defined the archetype herself.
She's so gentle. So tremendously caring. She protects and nurtures and celebrates the people that she loves. She loves so deeply, so unambiguously.
She's so steadfast and dignified in her values and beliefs. Calmly committed above all else to her view of what goodness means to her and to her place in the world. And, she is able to joylessly act for the fulfilment of those principles, when she believes that it is right to.
She's playful. Her inner child glows with the deep nourishment of self love, so warmly that it lights up the dark when it escapes through the brightness of her eyes and smile.
She lives as several people at once. She is the agent of her principles, unyielding and noble. She is deeply in touch with her emotions - so forgiving and tolerant of her heart even when her head notes the need for caution or absence. She is a creative, an explorer, and a professional, who walks the road of her own choosing, who defines a path with unique flair and flavour.
The intersection of soft and strong, deep feelings under forceful tenacity and strength, joyful yet sincere.
Wherever my path may lead me, whatever time may pass, may time and absence never diminish my belief in what I know and have known. This is a wonderful and radiant and unique person and my life is ever so, ever ever so enriched, for the brief crossing of these two unlikely paths.
