Orzammar's Okayest Crafts

if you hate the deep roads you're not valid

[biancadavri]

Hello Anora/Aeducan Nation (all three of us)

[biancadavri]

don't ask questions to which u already know the answer dumbass

[biancadavri]

mmmmmayhaps a dwarf warden should have had the whole confrontation with marjolaine turned on its head, with leliana being set on killing her at the start and you having to talk her out of it before the option to just let her go appears. just because. don't mind the suspiciously Tug-shaped elephant in the room

[biancadavri]

We all know the Warden(s) are young. Brosca for the "yeah I can fool these people with only my homie as backup" Aeducan "of course I can find the wardens in just my underwear" Mahariel "Those ruins do seem extremely haunted and dangerous..YOLO lets go see what it's about" Cousland "lets play with swords with our tiny nephew what could possibly go wrong" Tabris "imma beat some armoured human that wandered in here" and the mages have Jowan as bff and a very f da templars attitude

people give a lot of shit to wynne for acting like a nosy mother hen but omggggg look at the people she was supposed to keep alive through multiple assassination attempts, a blight and alistair's cooking 😭

[biancadavri]

usually I'm very "don't tell me what to do" regarding the implied age of customizable player characters (this fucker I'm piloting for the next sixty or so hours is forty-three at their youngest and the game will have to deal with it) but I've gotta hand it to Dragon Age, the Warden has to be pretty young. Unfortunately "hmm. I wonder what would happen if I put on this dude's armor and pretend to be him while I kick the asses of a bunch seasoned warriors who have been fighting darkspawn longer than I've been alive?" is a deeply twenty years old idea to have 😔

[biancadavri]

Lucanis is not short. I say this as someone medically considered a person with dwarfism due to my height (though I do not actually have dwarfism). Lucanis is around 5'7-5'8 in actuality while in fanon he is about 5'3. Equating shortness in DA humans to dwarfism means that people who are short to you are different enough to be considered a fantasy race, at least that is how it comes off. I think it could be fun to have elves taller than humans and dwarves taller than humans. Because life is diverse. And it would be fun to see a human with dwarfism in dragon age. Even the outwardly appreciate blogs towards short characters and dwarves like your own are not immune to prejudice and ignorance. While there is prejudice online and IRL towards small people and your blog is meant as a reprieve from that, some of your takes aren't helping and are regressive.

⬆️ If you're talking about this post (although looking back now I believe there are several* I could have thought over a little more before hitting post) yeah, I can absolutely see what you mean and I apologize. It doesn't come across as a particularly good or toughtful joke, especially with Veilguard being the only game in the series that gives the player a bit more freedom with customizing the pc's body, height included.

[biancadavri]

the finest dwarven scholars of our generation have found something that runs deeper than the dead trenches and it's the hole solas is digging himself in while trying to apologize to harding

[biancadavri]

the people at skyhold didn't even know you were about to be named inquisitor they just gathered around because they liked looking at cadash

[biancadavri]

me when there's a dwarf :)

[biancadavri]

the people at skyhold didn't even know you were about to be named inquisitor they just gathered around because they liked looking at cadash

[biancadavri]

Happy Pride month to Old Tegrin, without your blue satin shoes she would have never let me hit, legend

[biancadavri]

Scout Lace Harding was NOT murdering people left and right with a satisfied smirk on her face in her first scene ever and learning both how to fight and making herself as helpful and resourceful as possible because she was a little dwarven girl growing up around human boys and very possibly tracking down and killing a lyrium-addicted Cullen in the streets (and thinking of it as a merciful act) AND carrying one of the strongest parts of veilguard on her back with her arc being all about her rage and how she wants to grapple with it for you all to relegate her to the safe and dull nice girl love interest 🫵 START PONDERING

[biancadavri]

pick a mistery dwarf to get a just ok game recommendation

👑

⚔️

🥽

🚧

🔓

🕯️

🧼

Voting ended onJun 4

👑 - You've picked King Giott from the role-playing game Final Fantasy IV

SIKE we start with an actually really good one! The main guy is a war criminal, his bestie spends half of his screentime betraying the party and the other half feeling sosososo bad about it, the sprawling underground map will try to kill you multiple times. The best Dragon Age game came out in 1991, actually!

⚔️ - You've picked Boïndil Doubleblade from the tactical role-playing game The Dwarves!

MY "I said I liked it not that it was good" game, based on the Markus Heitz book of the same name which is still pretty great if you're 13. Lots of love clearly went into it and perhaps that's what the real treasure was all along. Why is it still at 39.99€. Children of the Smith still bangs immensely though.

🥽 - You've picked Jasper from the stealth game Styx: Blades of Greed

Do NOT spend forty bucks on a Styx game, what the fuck? These wonky little bitches trying their best always go on a 30% sale AT A MINIMUN every other month like, two years after release on Steam. I know we're all here for the dwarven crafts but start with Master of Shadows and go from there.

🚧- You've picked Folnur from the hidden object game Lost Lands 2: The Four Horsemen!

Look at him (:

🔓- You've picked Dorna Trapspringer from the role-playing game Neverwinter Nights: Shadows of Undrentide!

Showing its age badly if we're being honest. But also look at her (:

🕯️- You've Picked Ruggnar from the platform game Ruggnar!

This is also pretty good and goes on sale often I'm just mad at it because I swear I should have landed on that moving platform and not plummeted on the spike trap below

🧼 - You've picked Oghren Kondrat from the. The role-playing..... game... Dragon Age: Origins..? Really? Really?

Baby, I don't even know what to tell you. Don't forget you're here forever.

[biancadavri]

"Bull mostly talks about women he definitely has a preference for them" "If both are unromanced he ends up with Dorian he clearly prefers men" The Iron Bull has a preference for dwarves thanks for playing

[biancadavri]

Canonically finds Bianca, and more broadly blacksmiths (a profession mastered by dwarves) hot

Devs decided to tackle more work onto the famously hellish development cicle just to make sure he could be a romance option for Cadash

Miss Harding only one able to match his freak

Cannot stop gushing about the superiority of dwarven craftsmen when exploring the tombs in the Hissing Wastes

Why did they say this:

[biancadavri]

I'm just trying to get a screenshot man

[biancadavri]

two whole ass bisexuals in that game and the casual dialogue that suggests familiarity with eating pussy went to oghren

[biancadavri]

OK!!!!!

[biancadavri]

King Alistair (ten years after his friendship with the Hero of Ferelden imploded because they decided to recruit Loghain into the Wardens and half a day after he saw the unrepentant murderer the Inquisition put in charge since the situation is really that fucking dire), shaking Anora awake in the middle of the night: Babe, was I the problem???