hear me out: eddie feelings realization in 818 and then he forgets how to act around buck for the entirety of 9a
because everyone kinda expects buck to be the first to realize how he feels about eddie right? well wrong, because eddie pretty much has an epiphany when buck is lying there under the rubble. oh and that's it - i'm in love with buck. buck is my joy. i'm not gonna let a bit of rubble take my joy from me.
so cue the roommates era with awkward eddie. because the last time eddie had a crush was when he was in high school ffs. and now he's sleeping in the same bed with his crush. and it's platonic, even though buck is bi. and it's killing eddie.
he can't sleep. because he just stares at the miracle that is buck. and one night buck wakes up and eddie is staring, blatantly staring. so eddie, the worst actor on planet earth, quickly rolls away from buck and starts to snore. very loudly, and very obnoxiously fake.
or in the morning, when buck is making breakfast with chris at the table, eddie forgets how to breathe. or speak. or move. so when buck goes 'hey eds can you make me a coffee?' eddie essentially starts shouting 'no, you make your own coffee, i can't make coffee, what's coffee?!'. and buck is just so confused? but he keeps trying to get eddie to, well, be eddie again. 'eddie, can you grab the spatula and give the eggs a stir?' and eddie tries but he fumbles with the spatula and drops it not once, not twice but three times. all with a teenager with more game in his pinky than eddie has in his entire body snickering at him.
but eddie keeps trying. flirting. people flirt when they have a crush right? okay, eddie will flirt. yeah, he can do that. he can tell buck he has pretty eyes. that's fine. so when it's just the two of them on their couch watching a movie, eddie turns to buck and goes 'buck... eyes. you have eyes.' and runs out of the living room before buck can even begin to process any of that.
and when buck is sitting at the table with chris, helping him with his homework, going on and on about why walruses have bumps underneath their flippers, eddie can't be around. he can't trust himself to handle whatever his heart is doing in his chest at the sight of his love and his son together. and he can't trust his son to not out him. so he keeps his distance. and he tries to sort his feelings and his thoughts so he doesn't go all weird again when buck inevitably re-appears in their bedroom. and really, he should've known it wouldn't work. buck returns with that bright smile on his face and eddie's traitorous knees fail him and he all but falls flat on his ass, stuttering his way through some excuse about how the ground was wobbling.
eddie almost gets caught once, by buck. okay, don't judge him. he promised himself he would embrace joy, right? and what's more joy than buck? so when he's alone at home, he pulls out that stupid cuddly pink cardigan from buck's closet. and he puts it on. and it's way too big on him but it feels like a hug from buck. like buck is engulfing him. and it almost makes eddie cry because he's so sure he'll never have that for real. only his little joyful-turned-tearful cardigan experience comes to an abrupt end when buck steps in the house. eddie manages to take the cardigan off, but now he's just holding it in his hands. buck just raises an eyebrow, letting whatever excuse eddie has come to him. eddie decides to go with 'i was... i was gonna do laundry... and thought you might want this washed too'... to which buck just goes 'so you pulled my clean cardigan out of my clean closet to... clean it?'. and look, eddie knows he's fucked. so he just agrees with a 'yup' and walks out on buck, with the cardigan in his hands.
and it's worse at work. because hen and chim know something. and under their watchful eyes, he's acting even weirder. so when buck is cooking in the firehouse in his apron and asks eddie to grab something for him because his hands are dirty, hen and chim almost get whiplash from turning to eddie to watch his reaction. and eddie panics okay? he panics because he had completely zoned out thinking about buck's strong arms and how they might feel around him. so when buck talks to him he just screams 'arms' and walks away. and then he realizes he fucked up, returns with his eyes looking anywhere but at buck, grabs whatever it is buck wanted from him, plops it on the counter and leaves again. and great, now hen and chim know for sure.
to his credit, buck isn't weirded out. he's endeared actually. beacuse eddie from seven years ago would've never allowed himself to be awkward and panicky. eddie from seven years ago would've done everything in his power to keep up a cool, calm and collected demeanor. and it would've been a shame because to buck, eddie has never been cuter. and buck's not dumb, he caught on pretty much 24h hours in. but eddie was just being too adorable for buck to do anything about it. eventually, buck decides to put eddie out of his misery and one night, on their couch, he gives eddie the most gentle and tender last first kiss either could've ever imagined. and he tells eddie about how he thinks he's the most adorable thing to ever happen to mankind. and eddie groans because 'you knew??' and buck just goes 'baby, you weren't subtle, you were cute but you weren't subtle. you bought me enough time to buy a ring though'.
stormborns
areudirty
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
gummygunk
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