Doomed Mage

RP blog for a very dead, very doomed Sollux Captor.

[bicoloredanguish]

…

ii wii2h ii wa2 jokiing.

[outragedabnormality]

*God you’re a fucking idiot. No wonder he broke down. If you were in his shoes you’d do the same thing.*

I’M SORRY

I.

THAT WAS MY FAULT, NOT YOURS. DON’T EVEN TRY TO FUCKING PIN THAT ON YOU.

[bicoloredanguish]

2top.

iit really wa2 my fault.

ii had two challenge hiim and ju2t egg hiim on.

ii could have 2topped.

but yet ii diidn't and LOOK WHAT FUCKIING HAPPENED!

great let'2 ju2t add two the lii2t of people 2ollux captor ha2 offed.

fiir2t iit wa2 hii2 own mate2priit and now iit'2 hii2 be2t friend.

what a fuckiing dii2grace.

[bicoloredanguish]

ye2 the fuckiing fight! he ju2t fuckiing…he 2hot you. that’2 what happened he fuckiing 2hot you and you diied riight there and nobody could do anythiing.

ii told you ii fucked up ii could have 2topped iit…

[outragedabnormality]

…

THAT.

I.

I TRIED TO STOP YOU TWO AND HE SHOT ME IN THE CHEST, RIGHT?

THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT WASN’T WHAT HAPPENED.

FOR FUCKS SAKE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING.

[bicoloredanguish]

...

ii wii2h ii wa2 jokiing.

[bicoloredanguish]

ampora ii’m talking about ampora damn iit and ii’m not goiing two bla2t anything ii ju2t fucked up 2o bad and ii mii22 everyone and ii ju2t want two 2ee aa agaiin and ii wii2h none of thii2 ever happened ii wii2h everyone wa2 aliive FUCK-

*You were bawling again, keening loudly and wrapping your own arms around yourself. What a basketcase.*

[outragedabnormality]

WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ERIDAN?

I

ARE YOU.. TALKING ABOUT THAT FIGHT?

*You’re talking out of your ass- you don’t know about his timeline but. You know that’s what would’ve happened if you didn’t intervene with it. Fuck you don’t know if you stopped it or not. All you know is that it ended up in you getting everyone killed.*

SHHH.

SOLLUX, IT’S OKAY.

JUST, STOP CRYING FUCK.

*You begin to pat his hair, try to calm him down and make him stop sobbing because fuck. It’s the first time you’ve seen any version of him in so long and it hurts because just the fucking sight of you made him cry. What the fuck happened?*

[bicoloredanguish]

ye2 the fuckiing fight! he ju2t fuckiing...he 2hot you. that'2 what happened he fuckiing 2hot you and you diied riight there and nobody could do anythiing.

ii told you ii fucked up ii could have 2topped iit...

[bicoloredanguish]

*You’ve calmed down enough so that you’re not in hysterics anymore, but you’re still sniffling and hiccupping, sparks flying from your horns and eyes.*

ii fucked up…ii 2houldn’t have fought him…thii2 would never have happened iif ii ju2t fuckiing iignored hiim.

[outragedabnormality]

SOLLUX. LOOK AT ME.

CALM.

DOWN.

THAT’S A FUCKING ORDER, CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU START BLASTING SPARKS AND SHIT FROM YOUR EYES.

WHO THE FUCK IS HIM?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[bicoloredanguish]

ampora ii'm talking about ampora damn iit and ii'm not goiing two bla2t anything ii ju2t fucked up 2o bad and ii mii22 everyone and ii ju2t want two 2ee aa agaiin and ii wii2h none of thii2 ever happened ii wii2h everyone wa2 aliive FUCK-

*You were bawling again, keening loudly and wrapping your own arms around yourself. What a basketcase.*

[bicoloredanguish]

*Suddenly you’re being shaken, and for a moment, you start keening just a little bit louder before he talks to you again, and you’re hyperventilating even if you don’t have to breathe.*

iit wa2 my fuckiing fault ii cau2ed everythiing iit’2 my fault you diied iit’2 all my fault-

*And there you go, wailing again like some stupid fucking sap. You’re so pathetic.*

[outragedabnormality]

*You freeze for a second, fuck. Fuck you’re so out of practice but, no you got this. You have this. You just, pull him closer. Look at that, that soothing embrace. Shh old friend, it’s okay. It’s okay it’s okay I promise it’s okay.*

SOLLUX, CALM DOWN. NOTHING’S YOUR FAULT, IT’S FINE.

SHH.

SHHHH.

[bicoloredanguish]

*You've calmed down enough so that you're not in hysterics anymore, but you're still sniffling and hiccupping, sparks flying from your horns and eyes.*

ii fucked up...ii 2houldn't have fought him...thii2 would never have happened iif ii ju2t fuckiing iignored hiim.

[bicoloredanguish]

…

ii’m 2orry.

[outragedabnormality]

I

DUDE GET A GRIP!

*YOU, WHAT. You grab that piece of shit, shake him a little. Maybe it’ll confuse him and make him stop, doing. the, crying thing. Fuck.*

GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SORRY FOR!?

[bicoloredanguish]

*Suddenly you're being shaken, and for a moment, you start keening just a little bit louder before he talks to you again, and you're hyperventilating even if you don't have to breathe.*

iit wa2 my fuckiing fault ii cau2ed everythiing iit'2 my fault you diied iit'2 all my fault-

*And there you go, wailing again like some stupid fucking sap. You're so pathetic.*

[bicoloredanguish]

fiinally here iif anyone want2 two talk.

probably not though.

[outragedabnormality]

SOLLUX?

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO?

[bicoloredanguish]

…kk?

[outragedabnormality]

YES.

IT’S ME, KARKAT.

WHY DOES EVERYONE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, LIKE THEY HAVEN’T SEEN ME IN FUCKING AGES.

WITH ALL THE DOOMED VERSIONS OF ME IT DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT HARD TO REALIZE THAT, HEY.

THERE’S KIND OF A LOT OF VERSIONS OF ME DEAD.

BUT YES, HEY. 

IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[bicoloredanguish]

...

ii'm 2orry.

[bicoloredanguish]

fiinally here iif anyone want2 two talk.

probably not though.

[outragedabnormality]

SOLLUX?

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO?

[bicoloredanguish]

...kk?

[bicoloredanguish]

fiinally here iif anyone want2 two talk.

probably not though.

[bicoloredanguish]

You were dead. Finally, completely, totally, cold, stiff, and bloody dead. It felt...surprisingly somewhat relaxing. That is, it did before your memories invaded your bubble. It was all white as a warm, fuzzy glow engulfing you while the throbbing pain in your shattered skull subsided and healed.

You had been on the wrong side of a juggling club.

You didn't really know what had started happening to you until it was too late. The first time he hit you, it had been in the side of the head. It was enough to disorient you and cause a concussion, rendering your psionics useless. You were bony and, bluntly, tiny as it was- you had very little to no physical strength and it wasn't long before you just...stopped fighting back. It was one smack after another to your head, and then when you started struggling, it was your chest and back. When you went still again, he went back to your head.

If anyone found you, you were probably unrecognizable as far as your face went. Your glasses were gone. There was blood everywhere and your bones were smashed. Rest in pieces, Sollux Captor.

But now you were here. You were finally in the dream bubbles. Maybe you'd see Aradia again. Maybe not. It didn't take long for the white light to fade, however, and before long, you were in a run-down, rusty metropolis with circuitboard patterning on the streetside. It wasn't too bad, you guessed. Just as you began to really look around your surroundings, you noticed that your bubble was beginning to merge with somebody else's...