CHRISTMAS STARTERS
( assorted prompts that are all bedecked with christmas themes. from salty, to ecstatic, to indifferent - feel free to change up the context, pronouns, or words ! )
❛❛ All I want for Christmas is peace & quiet. ❜❜ ❛❛ If mistletoe appears in my one-meter vicinity, I’ll burn it. ❜❜ ❛❛ So - what are you getting me for Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ What do you mean, Santa isn’t real? ❜❜ ❛❛ The only thing I like about Christmas is to get drunk on eggnog & wine, & sulk over my year’s regrets. ❜❜ ❛❛ You always give the best presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me get a picture of this for the memories. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas party at your house! ❜❜ ❛❛ I swear to god, if you give me a ‘dick-in-a-box’ for Christmas again- ❜❜ ❛❛ It’s snowing! ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals fun times. ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals broken bones. ❜❜ ❛❛ Please stop saying ‘Christmas is coming’ in Stark’s voice. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you really setting traps for Santa — ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Don’t eat the cookies & milk I’m leaving on the table, unless your name is Santa. ❜❜ ❛❛ Ah yes, the age-old tradition of an obese old man dressed in a red suit - breaking into your house. ❜❜ ❛❛ Wanna help with the pudding? ❜❜ ❛❛ Help me decorate the Christmas tree. ❜❜ ❛❛ You’re really - enthusiastic - with the decorations. ❜❜ ❛❛ I knitted a sweater for you. Here, wear it. ❜❜ ❛❛ What did you use to knit the sweater? Two left-hands & parental guidance from a hamster? ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you coming to the Christmas party? ❜❜ ❛❛ How did you get tangled in all these fairy lights – ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me help with the gift-wrapping. ❜❜ ❛❛ Remember when you caught on fire last year? ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh no - no - you stay away from the alcohol. ❜❜ ❛❛ Stop telling me lies about Santa & his tiny elves. ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh shit, I forgot to buy the presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you telling me you don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? ❜❜ ❛❛ Is this what you do every Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ Come on! Live a little - find true love - piss in the snow! It’s Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ It may be Christmas, but that’s still illegal. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas is just another day. What’s the big deal? ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas should be six months long - not one. ❜❜
















