As my dad said, “I’m in a new land…” how am I supposed to know everything I need to do here. I suppose I should have at least tried to learn Portuguese before coming, but honestly, that was the least of my worries 2 months ago… Before I came here, I was told that it wasn’t necessary for me to learn the language because the teachers would work with me and pretty much everyone here spoke English. That is partly true. A lot of people do speak English, and the professors are willing wo work with me, but only after the class is over. So basically, I have to sit through lessons taught in Portuguese, and then at the end of class, the professor will briefly explain the lesson and give me the assignment for the next class in English… So, what the fuck am I meant to learn here? Before I came here, I was told I only need a maximum of 150 Euro, and I would be golden until I got my scholarship money. Now that was bullshit. Thank god I have a very supportive family or else I wouldn’t even be here and/or I would be living on the streets here. My family and I have had to fork over more than $1,300 to get me here and to get me a place here. From my understanding 2 weeks ago, I could bring more or less than 150 Euro, and I would be okay until I got my scholarship money which would then allow me to find somewhere to live easily. Wrong. It’s been over a week, and I still haven’t gotten anything from the school except what they believe to be good advice? When I came here, I thought there might be a proper welcoming… Maybe a tour of the art community, but so far, I have had to be that annoying international student asking anyone and everyone for help. I feel like I have been crying out for help the moment I got here. Yes, the school helped me find the place that I live now, but they didn’t help me finance it, and they didn’t help me until the last day that I had my hotel… I’m still waiting on the scholarship money, and all I have is about 15 Euro in my wallet until then which I basically have to save for transportation money. Not only am I frustrated with the financial aspects, but now I am incredibly frustrated with the art classes which is where I thought I would have a safe haven in. I have no Wi-Fi every time I leave my place. They haven’t helped me sign up for that yet. They gave me these forms that I have to get the professors to sign if I’d like to take the class, but out of 4 classes that I have gone to, something has fucked up. I’m talking with the former dean of the place in about an hour, and I feel like when I tell him this stuff, it will all just sound like a bunch of personal problems that they don’t need to be bothered with. I just want to not stress about money and go to classes where I will actually learn something. I did not come here to be even more stressed out than I was at home. At some points, I feel like I shouldn’t have even come here because even when I have some glimmer of hope, it is shattered faster than it appeared. I have not met anyone who is going through the same thing as me here in the art faculty, so not only am I super fucking frustrated, I am also super fucking alone. I met one Erasmus student yesterday here, but since the Printmaking 1 class was too full yesterday, she decided to go to Printmaking 2 which is today. Ultimately, I decided to be a creep and follow behind her because 1) It didn’t seem like I was meant to be in that class because my name wasn’t even on the list (even though I signed up for it?!) and 2) I didn’t want to lose that one connection I had made with her. So, with that said, I had to give up Ceramics today, but now I have Printmaking 2 to go to and hopefully she is there, and I won’t get kicked out of the class this time… But remember what I said about my glimmers of hope here… they get shattered faster than they appeared. Let’s see if it’s that way again this time.
I just went to the Academic Services because they didn’t open until 10 am to try and get the Wi-Fi set up, and they sent me to the South Pavilion where the Information Services is at. They said there would be a man there to help me set it up, so I went there. And guess what? Information Services does not open until 11:30. Yep. That has been my life here… Going and asking for help somewhere just to be sent somewhere else. And more times than not, when I go to the place someone sends me, it is either closed or there is no one to help. I keep trying to remember that I was sent here for a reason. I just haven’t found what that reason is yet. I needed to rant to someone or something… So, that is what this is. I apologize. I try to stay positive, but I can only take so much frustration. I’m reminding myself that this is only temporary, just like everything else, so I will do my best to continue trying to make the best of every moment I have here. It has just been very difficult… More difficult that I could have ever imagined it would be. Wish me luck. I’m doing my best. I’m about to go talk with the former dean. Maybe he can help me. I’m not sure what he even wants to talk about. We’ll see. I’ll be back to write soon.
UPDATE: Today turned out actually wonderful. Again, I am sorry for being such a cranky poo head. I have to get it out somewhere. But yeah, when I met with the former dean, he turned out to be one of the painting professors! And he was super nice, helpful and understanding. He took me around and had me meet some professors I might be having class with. I then finally finally finally got my Wi-Fi username and password, so I officially have connection to the Interwebs while I’m at school which is definitely a step in the right direction. And to top it all off, I attended my first class that didn’t go completely and totally wrong! It was Printmaking 2, and we started learning about intaglio processes. I met a few people as well which is nice. People were surprised I was from America.. Apparently I am the first American in quite some time to come to study art at the University of Porto. Maybe that is why my experience has been difficult. Who knows? I have painting tomorrow, so I’m super excited about that. Things are looking up! Okay, I’m for real leaving this time. I’ll be back to write again soon.
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