My Brain Thinks

she/her (atm)

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I love how this platform shows me so much amazing art, of so many different varieties!!

It fills me with so much more positivity than other platforms ^w^

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Peonies (pink) are my favorite flower, by a good margin. However at any given moment I probably can't recall what a peony looks like. I forget, and I love thag. Because then, when I'm curious, I can look up what peonies look like. And I think "Of course these are my favorite!! They are so pretty and beautiful!!!" And it's always such a great joy to discover my favorite flower all over again. ^W^

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I often wish I thought less, because there is a lot of negativity that comes with thinking. But then I remember wanting to think less is a path to much more negative things.

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I'm incredibly grateful I was lucky enough to be in a place surrounded by love and friends and kind parents. And it saddens me to know not everyone is nearly as lucky as me, because im certain if i didnt have as much love and support as i do id be dead by now.

I go into every day with the goal of bringing as much kindness to the people I know as I can, but ultimately there are countless people ill never know or meet.

How will people know about all the kindness in the world if they aren't lucky enough to ever see it?

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Of course there is much depth to insecurities, but one (naive) idea I like to think about helps me not worry too much.

Essentially, if you can't change somethint about yourself there is no point in being insecure about it. I have a weird looking birthmark on my arm, but if I can't change it, worrying/thinking about it achieves nothing.

If you can change something, then you might as well not be insecure about it. I will barely remember what I was thinking about today in 5 years, but I know that if I refuse to hang out with friends because I have bad acne I'll regret. Ultimately, I can do things to improve/lessen my acne, so might as well not worry about it.

This probably doesn't make much sense, and again it's a fairly naive thought process. But it helps my brain not care as much, and that's always a good thing. ^W^

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I think my hair is both the (physical) thing im most proud of, and the most insecure about. When my hair is brushes, cleaned, and genuinely flowy it seems to give me infinite joy and happy. However, when It's dirty, or when I neglect to take good care of it It brings me immense shame and it makes me want to never go outside.

Idrk

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I never really understand why people are so mean. Like don't get me wrong, there is so much positiviry and kindess in the world. But often I'll witness/be in a scenario where people seem to default to scorn. Like when people are just rude to waiters, for seemingly no reason.

People say that it is because they are just using them as an emotional outlet, but I don't understand why someone would ever default to the utilization of an outlet that actively negatively affects others.

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"how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

As much as the woodchuck damn pleases, thank you very much >:(

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I never correct peoples grammar, even though it makes my skin crawl a little. I know most modern english grammar originates from classism, and that pointing out insignificant errors only demostrates how pompous you are.So even if my annoying nerd brain gets upset, I always remind myself grammar is an idiotic construct and never correct it.

p.s. obviously not saying i dont make grammar mistakes, im sure i do all the time. just another reason why pointing out others errors feels exceedingly silly

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I always try to let my friends know how much they mean to me, but oftentimes when I do they primarily act confused or concerned. The idea of being told they are appreciated unprompted is so novel to them that they assume something is wrong. One of my goals is to make it feel like a typical and common gesture. ^W^

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Sometimes I'll go outside in the sunshine and scroll social media, so that the soul sucking -mind numbing scrolling is canceled out by the natural joy of looking upon cool rocks lit up by the sun.