Same mama. Different daddy
Colorism hits you right in the face when you and your sister have the same mom but different dads. That might not be such a problem but it is when her dad is white and my dad is black. There is an immediate difference when you look at me and my younger sister. So much that people don't even believe that we are related. She's is mixed and I am all black so we have different hair, different features, different skin. I know that my mother loves us both the same but she plays a big role in the relationship between me and my sister.
When she was born I was 7. I was aware of things including my feelings and could pick up on how I'm being treated. I knew my mom was excited for a new baby, we all were but when my sister came out, my mom was mesmerized. She could of had the same reaction when I was born but that I wouldn't know. My mom doted on my sister every single day. She was always so beautiful and the most beautiful girl in the world. I was too, but I was told that very less often. My sister had gorgeous hair and my mother told her that every chance she got. My hair in my mom's words was "a headache." I feel that is where my mom went wrong. I don't think she purposely compared her daughters with one another but it happened all the time. It made me believe that I wasn't as pretty as her or even loved as much as her. I was the definition of the black bird my family. When we got older I was able to deal with dumb comments from friends and people outside because we were just use to it. But all of my hurt came from inside my home.
My mom and my sister have a great relationship, but the three of us are struggling with each other. I would say I am mainly the reason of that struggle. As I'm older I seem to care less and want no parts but I know they are family and all I got.
-Ashanti K. 20














