[soshesawildflowerxo-deactivated]

Deep talks are my favorite. If you can connect with me on a level not everyone can, you’re in.

[thoughtkick]

“Go out and do something. It isn’t your room that’s a prison, it’s yourself.”

— Sylvia Plath

[contentmuslimah-deactivated2024]

Please, keep looking. Not for a person, but for your passion, your love, your courage, your goals, your dreams, your happiness, yourself. Keep looking. Explore yourself before you explore another. Know your worth, know yourself. Only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.

[thoughtkick]

“No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up.”

— Unknown

[mydarkawaits]

someone who is soft, respectful, and considerate.

[minimalistquotes]

Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.

-Paulo Coelho

[blackimprints]

Waking up to the sweetest voice I could ever wish to hear early in the morning. Ginising lang naman ako ng pamangkin ko para magpahatid sa first day nya sa school. Na para bang ako ang parent? Hahaha I don’t have the heart to be annoyed or show him I was grumpy when he calls my name in that soft voice, wearing that innocent look, as if he’s scared I might scold him for waking me up. So wala akong choice, bangon ang tita nya hahaha. 3 hours lang ang tulog ko talaga bhe pero sige para sa first day go yan.

[blackimprints]

Alas-diyes na naman ng gabi

Kung saan-saan napapagawi

Ang aking utak

Ako ba'y iyong hinahanap

Hindi sa nagmamadali pero asan ka na ba

Kaya ko naman nang mag-isa

Pero gusto ko sanang katabi ka na

[blackimprints]

Pagdating ko sa simbahan, nasa homily na at ang una kong narinig na sabi ng pari ay “kung broken ka, ang misang ito ay para sayo”. And it’s funny how the first thing I’ve heard about is something like that when I’m dealing with something inside me. At the end of the homily, he said something along the lines of “brokenness is proof that you are capable of love”.

[blackimprints]

Grabe lang ang emotions kagabi. Yung huling beses na naranasan ko yun ay 5 or 6 years ago. I thought no one would be able to make me feel like that again but damn. Lahat na ata ng negative emotions naramdaman ko kagabi. Ultimo pagkain ko apektado kasi wala akong gana. Hindi rin naman perfect or calm yung naramdaman ko nitong mga nakaraang taon and I'd get hurt or emotional from time to time pero kontrolado ko yun. Kaya kong humarap sa mga kasama ko sa bahay na parang wala akong pinagdadaanan pero kagabi kailangan ko magtago sa home office ko para lang di nila ako makita. And honestly, it drained me. Hanggang ngayon ay ramdam ko yung pagod at panghihina. Masakit sa ulo na paggising dahil sa kakaiyak. But I know I have to bounce back. I have to.

[thoughtkick]

“Some days I feel everything at once. Other days I feel nothing at all. I don’t know what’s worse: drowning beneath the waves or dying from the thirst.”

— The Idealist

[perfectfeelings]

“Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated.”

— Lou Holtz

[blackimprints]

I'm hurting right now. Every word thrown at me hurts. Not because they're true nor because I believe what he said, but because they're words meant to hurt, words chosen to belittle me. But I'm not going to let the past repeat itself. I'm not going to feel guilty for saying no. I'm not going to apologize for staying within my limits and honoring my boundaries. I'm not about to throw away four fucking years of lessons, growth, and hard work; the countless times I've had to rebuild myself just to become the person I am today. And I'm definitely not going to let someone make me feel small for having boundaries or for choosing to respect my own limitations.

I've worked too hard to become this version of myself. I'm not letting anyone convince me that protecting my peace is something I should be ashamed of.

[blackimprints]

A letter to S

I want to give you so much credit for the person that I am today. Ikaw yung nagturo sa akin paano lumaban. Tinuruan mo ako na hindi ako dapat mag settle lang sa kung ano, that I deserve better. You taught me so much about boundaries and limitations, telling me no one should cross them and I should protect myself at all costs. You treated me as a princess when I was at my lowest and that became my standard even now. So when we decided to end things between us, it didn’t hurt as much. Maluwag sa dibdib na pinalaya natin ang isa’t isa kasi di naman talaga tayo meant magtagal, di ba? Sabi mo pa nung una, ikaw lang yung guardian angel ko. Nasa tabi kita hangga’t kailangan ko pang magpalakas at mapatibay yung sarili ko pero handa ka ng umalis kapag nakita mong kaya ko na ulit mag isa kasi mas malakas na ko kumpara nung nagkakilala tayo. Kaya nung natapos tayo, I went on a journey in finding the one.

Isang taon na akong naghahanap.

I came across two guys that I thought were the one. But everytime I felt like I’m ready to fall again, nawawala naman sila. Yung isa, di na lang basta nagparamdam. Yung isa, tinapos kasi ayokong pumayag sa isa nyang gusto. Nakakapagod pala tong journey na to. I sometimes feel like nawawala na naman ako. Pero naaalala kita. Lahat ng bilin mo. Hindi na ako mahina, di ba? Pero nakakapagod S. Nakakaumay yung paulit ulit na cycle. Gusto kitang sisihin eh hahaha di na kasi ako basta basta tumatanggap sa kahit anong treatment kahit di na ako komportable. Natuto na kasing mag say ng “no”, naging palaban pa hahaha. Kasalanan mo to eh hahahaha tinuruan mo kong maging palaban. Tinuruan mo kong maging matatag para protektahan sarili ko. Kaya eto, failed na naman paghahanap ko. Bwisit na yan hahaha.

[blackimprints]

Maybe I’m looking at the wrong place or maybe I shouldn’t be looking at all. But I’m getting tired of waiting. I’m being impatient as it is. And I really don’t know what to do anymore.

[aidashakur]

[22divinefeminine]

biggest heartbreak FR

[blackimprints]

I remember the first time I listened to "Ngiti" by The Juans and "Indigo (With You)" by Maki. I discovered both songs during the same month I was talking to someone and without even realizing it, I started associating them with him. Maybe it was because of how effortless everything felt at that moment. I mean, our conversations flowed so naturally. We just clicked. We were in the same career, shared the same wavelength, and the way he talked to me made me think he was genuinely a good person. And I was hopeful back then. I thought that maybe, just maybe, he could be the one. But like most of the people I’ve met on that anonymous chat site, he just didn’t stay. We never fought or had any big misunderstanding, we simply stopped talking. Somehow, though, we’ve remained in each other’s contacts until now and I know because he still views the stories I shared and you can only do that if the conversations are still saved in his inbox or maybe he saved my contacts hahaha either way, we still have connections, we just stopped talking. And every time I hear those songs, I don’t think about what could have been. I just remember those simple, happy conversations we shared, and for a moment, they still make me smile.