“We never were made to be holy.”

I’m not very active on here anymore I am on my normie blog though. •shedblr / vent blog•

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Oh well hello there, welcome to my blog, I’m Ash. I recommend reading my intro as there are parts that have some importance, so while you read through this grab a cup of tea and enjoy your visit!

Last updated: 6/30/26

Age: 15.

Pronouns: They/Them, He/Him and I occasionally refer to myself as we or us

I love and appreciate interacting with you guys feel free to send me an ask or dm though do know I usually take a bit to respond but I’m not ignoring you!

Normie blog: @runninggkitsune

Backup: @earthbound-angell

I have no dni I block freely

I am diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety and depression with psychotic traits. I suspect I have DID and my doctor is keeping an eye on it

I am a fox & bird therian!

Do expect various triggering topics such as eating disorder behavior, homicidal thoughts and plans, self harm, religion, suicidal thoughts, and some mentions of wanting people to inflict harm on me

I tag gore and blood so block that, let me know if you need me to tag stuff for you I’m always willing to make this a safe space.

Block and don’t report!!

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I am so sorry to those who I didn’t help I knew how I just didn’t

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I’m so close to that telling my parents about the DID thing tonight I’m going insane I can’t fucking exist today

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I think the first and last time I cried in front of my parents outside of infant and toddler stage was when I was in the psych not being able to say anything but ‘this sucks I want to leave’ while sobbing I wish they asked me about what happened there instead of pretending it didn’t happen

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I used to go to libraries all the time as a child whenever I was in town and things got too much I’d walk over and just browse through the books and read until it was time to go I miss that and I think libraries will always be a safe space for me

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Wish I could just be normal for a single day

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Everything sounds robotic and scripted it doesn’t feel real enough

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Realized I’m going to be home alone with a gun tomorrow fucking fantastic

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I can’t believe I didn’t runaway it’s been a year and I’m still regretting it I’d probably be dead by now

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I remember when I’d hide under the dining table or in animal cages as a child I don’t think I’ve found anything that has made me feel safer

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I don’t know why I’m so scared I’m safe so there shouldn’t be anything wrong

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I’m back to hating my appearance locking back in on the ed I fear

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I think that maybe being stuck in a house with rarely any social interaction as a child might’ve impacted me

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I’m scared of their reactions but I’m so tired of this

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How am I meant to ask for help without admitting it happened? How can I avoid the consequences that would come with opening up they genuinely wouldn’t understand it I think, I think they’d say it wasn’t that bad

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I wish I could socialize more that there wasn’t a limit of interaction I can deal with and if it goes farther I’m incredibly not myself

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Every passing day it becomes more apparent that I need help