Bliss within the dark. @blissfulnightterror - Tumblr Blog

Bliss is a curse.

Its the cozy warm feeling you get when you wrap yourself in the thickest blanket in the house. The way that hot chocolate makes your mouth water with ever indulgent inhale of the sweet aroma. The way that your heart skips a beat or two when you see the person who means the most to you walk toward you. That is how bliss feels. Those small moments when nothing else matter at all. There is a point and time where those moment are all that you have to look forward to. Those are all you have left to live for. When there is nothing else that is important to you than those small moments, bliss is not a blessing but a nightmare.

Curiosity

If the journey to the destination is the greatest thrill, does the destination lose its worth? We think daily that there is something greater than us, but what if we are the ones who run the show? I find myself filling with worry and doubt that there is ever a grand creator. What if I am nothing more than the voice in my own head making all of the rules I need to follow? Why do we ever follow when we have no idea what truly leads us? I am curious, does that make me oblivious? Am I not aware of all the things that could someday be? Am I lost or am I just beginning the journey? Where does the excitement begin in the journey that makes it so great? Who or what designates my fate? Me, God, or the vibes.

Things are shaken up again. I am lost without a cause and i see no point in going on. I tried so hard and its as if my efforts will never be enough. I do as much as i can to be a decent human being, but my liack of perfection for society is causing my karma to work against me. All i ever wanted was a job that doesnt make me question who i am. All i wanted is a career where i didnt need to breka my back or hurt myself daily. Yet here i am willing to negotiate my sanity and self love to just survive in this world.... what else can i do when i have nothing to lose.

Here I am again

Here I am again. Lost in the abyss that is my mind. Tossing and turning in the twisted maze that coils through the darkest corners of reality, i find myself full of comfort and reassurance. The love I once had has returned to me. The passion and peace that was once a dream has arrived into my world again. The reaction towards everything that is on my horizon is a mess of curiosity fueled by compassion. Laying awake at night I find myself crossing the bridge i have tried so desperately hard to burn. The urge to lose myself in the silence, the comfort of the sharp, jagged edges of his hand has returned. However his touch heals more than it burns. He tenderly heals my wounds. He cautiously and lightly carries me across the bridge. On the other end is a place I never thought I would see again. The peaceful place.The place where nothing mattered but the life that was being live right in that moment. Here I am again. Found in the abyss that is my mind. Tossing and turning in the twisted sheets that cover the the bed in which the love of my life and i share. I am full of comfort and reassurance. The love I have been searching for has found me.

It is beautiful where land and sea meet. But the darkness below has much more life to be discovered. When the icy water hits your skin, a shiver up your spine consumes you. Unsure where to turn or who to look at, a warm hand wraps around your waist and whispers " This is peace, this is home, this is real" You turn to see whom was speaking such grace into your soul and no one is there. You look out into the water, and a small wave moves toward you like the hands of a child wanting a hug. The water wraps around your ankles and you begin to walk into the sea. "This is peace, this is home, this is real" You say to yourself over and over. The sun sets and the sky goes dark. You lay by the water and let high tide wrap around you like a blanket. You hear the voice call out to you " sleep my child, you'll be home soon. Let the waves consume you. Let the tide embrace. Let love in"

horrorchic2018

blissfulnightterror

Smile for the camera, you're being watched.

Questionable

Throughout the course of this journey I've silently wondered if everything in experiencing is even real. I begged for something like this and now it is so different from when it began. Not saying that regret the choice that I made, but it is a matter of how my initial presence in someone's life makes everything difficult. Never did they need to worry if such things until I arrived. It was always about then and now that I've been added to the mix I try my best not to make myself as known. I wish to be the one grain of salt that falls off of a giant carnival pretzel. Even though I won't be the only salt grain that falls, I'll know deep down in my heart that if I was there I'd make the taste so bitter. Yet for some reason, the love of my life grabs the last piece of the pretzel and stamps I across the plate to carry me up. As if my presence would make a better difference. The smile he has now that I'm here with him makes me question. Am I really where I have always meant to be? Is my chaotic life making his boring life balanced? Does he appreciate me? Do I make the right enough effort to make a difference?

loggednightmares

Somewhere in between not giving a fuck and giving too many fucks to counts

Really just want to escape the world. I am completely torn. Everything is not as it used to be. There are three people that are making me thing how I should be living my life. A married man, a former lover, and a stranger are toying with my mind. I loved on and I am torn between allowing my heart love someone new

I'm so scared of being alone

I miss the way my smile felt when it was real

Can someone please tell me why parents lack the ability to give respect. But will absorb it as soon as it comes their way?